held it out to me, saying “This one is cold.” I said thanks and took the one he offered. He didn’t know me and would never see me again. His job was stocking, not customer service. He was busy and looked tired. But he took the time to register that I’d gotten a warm bottle, and he cared enough to shift gears and get me a cold one. He wished me well. I can see his friendly eyes as I write now, a week later. It was just a bottle of water. But I feel warmed by his kindness and buoyed by his good intentions. Recognizing the positive intentions in others, we feel safer, more supported, and happier. And when others feel that you get their good intentions, they... posted on Nov 25 2012 (14,377 reads)

are you going to be remembered for? Will people talk about the relationships you had with friends and family? The once-a-year dish everyone looked forward to? The impact you made on a company and its employees? How is a legacy created and cultivated, and what can you do to build your own legacy? These are all huge questions with small and critical answers. Here's the story of my legacy, and a few pointers on how to build yours. *The beginning will have twists and turns.* I started college wanting to be a doctor. I wanted to help people. After taking a few courses in molecular and cellular biology, I became interested in research. ... posted on Jan 16 2013 (37,159 reads)

you ever sat down with your doctor and talked about your brain—heart to heart?  Neither have I.  But that’s exactly what happened in our Forest Call with Dr. James Doty. Apparently he is capable of living several lives simultaneously.  Among other things He is a neurosurgeon with top ratings from the Consumer Research Council of America.  He is the founder and Clinical Director of the Center for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education (CCARE) at Stanford University.  He is an inventor of surgical instruments and an entrepreneur.  He is a philanthropist whose gifts support global health and peace initiati... posted on Feb 22 2013 (21,160 reads)

the centers in the brain that deal with such vital life skills as attention, emotional balance, and compassion. A number of contemplative practices directly recruit the power of imagination to retrain the mind. For many people the Sanskrit word tantra may conjure images of wild sex, but a Tantric practitioner may be more concerned with visualizing a certain deity in order to strengthen her own ability to share in the divine being’s positive attributes, such as patience or kindness. Of course, contemplation doesn’t have to focus on deities. My introduction to Buddhism started with a simple mental exercise. Eight years ago when I was going through a painful... posted on May 6 2013 (105,187 reads)

have a lot of social support, some people have little social support, some people are extroverted, some people are introverted—you have to take into account the happiness seeker before you give them advice about what should make them happy. And then there are factors relevant to the activity that you do. How is it that you’re trying to become happier? How is it that you’re trying to stave off adaptation? Are you trying to appreciate more? Are you trying to do more acts of kindness? Are you trying to savor the moment? The kind of person you are, the different kinds of activities, and how often you do them, and where you do them—these are all going to matter. JM... posted on Jun 12 2013 (27,179 reads)

words have been exchanged; Now at last let me see some deeds! ...What does not happen today, will not be done tomorrow. - Goethe I can almost pinpoint the moment when I decided to save the world. It was sometime after my Mom died—my Mom who was the secret solar center of my life; whose letters always ended in exuberant sign-offs (lovelovelove, three exclamation points); who’d insisted, despite her terminal diagnosis, that I not cancel my book tour because the subject—compassion—was, for her, life’s indispensable thread. I’d begun writing my book The Compassionate Life to blow the dust off my bodhisattva vows, little suspectin... posted on Apr 13 2014 (13,243 reads)

Texas psychologist Kristin Neff, who could be describing the Bush administration. Neff’s solution to both these psychological dilemmas is self-compassion: “People who compassionately accept their imperfection, however, no longer need to engage in such unhealthy behaviors to protect their egos.” As she writes in “Why Self-Compassion Trumps Self-Esteem”: As I’ve defined it, self-compassion entails three core components. First, it requires self-kindness, that we be gentle and understanding with ourselves rather than harshly critical and judgmental. Second, it requires recognition of our common humanity, feeling connected with others in the e... posted on Jul 4 2013 (20,137 reads)

to suffering. But what about physical sensations? Undigested emotions from the past get stuck in the body and appear as physical contraction and holding. We tense up on so many levels to protect ourselves from the world. And this is what needs to be liberated. Grounding yourself as awareness and turning away from thoughts, notice the sensations in your body, and let them be. Let them surface from the recesses of your cells to be seen in the light of awareness. Simply be aware, with great kindness, but don’t do anything. As you feel the sensations, give them time to come out of hiding, and you will eventually notice they aren’t solid. As you welcome them, they begin to n... posted on Aug 28 2013 (38,610 reads)

has the best laugh ever, and he laughs because things really do touch him down to the core. He is kind and smart and sweet and a very important part of our family. He is the VERY BEST FRIEND to little man #5.....who is really equally special. I will never understand what I did to deserve the 5 children I have been blessed with, you would just have to spend a day with them to understand. Our last regular paycheck was in April of this year. Through so many incredible acts of kindness, acts of nature, acts of God, and lots of hard work in every form, we have made it month to month and day to day and week to week, and had absolutely EVERYTHING we have ne... posted on Aug 29 2013 (28,447 reads)

question that few people ask: How can I expand my own empathic potential? Empathy is not just a way to extend the boundaries of your moral universe. According to new research, it’s a habit we can cultivate to improve the quality of our own lives. But what is empathy? It’s the ability to step into the shoes of another person, aiming to understand their feelings and perspectives, and to use that understanding to guide our actions. That makes it different from kindness or pity. And don’t confuse it with the Golden Rule, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” As George Bernard Shaw pointed out, “Do not do unto others as ... posted on Aug 25 2013 (229,511 reads)

not possible to solve singlehandedly the organization's problems; there are just too many of them!  One leader who led a high risk chemical plant spent three years creating a highly motivated, self-organizing workforce.  He described it this way: "Instead of just me worrying about the plant, I now have nine hundred people worrying.  And coming up with solutions I never could have imagined." Sometimes leaders fail to involve staff out of some warped notion of kindness.  They don't include people, they don't share their worries, because they don't want to add to their stress.  But such well-meaning leaders only create more problems.&nb... posted on Oct 3 2013 (27,535 reads)

He thanked me for caring enough to wake him and promised not to sit on the ledge of the stoop like that again. And thankfully he didn’t.   In the months that followed I started to realize there was a certain flow I was taking part of. As my happiness began to increase, so did the happiness of those around me, or perhaps it was just my perception, but I doubt it. There were many ways in which I found myself making other people’s days brighter by small random acts of kindness and vice versa. I got to know the people in my town, the lady at the post office, the gentleman at the hardware store, the kids at the coffee shop, who by the way would refuse to let me pay f... posted on Oct 4 2013 (30,698 reads)

of your mind. And the key here is to understand that we can select, on purpose, one of our basic motivational systems—for caring—and we can cultivate it, help it grow and mature, through practice. We also need to understand exactly why it’s useful to do this: because it changes our brain and will give us much more control over our thoughts and our lives. So in therapy that tries to develop compassion, we train people to remember, remember, remember, notice, notice, notice kindness—and then to build upon those remembrances. Buddhist monk and author Matthieu Ricard says our minds are like gardens and they will grow naturally. But if uncultivated, they are influence... posted on Jan 26 2014 (25,205 reads)

– Forget everything you have been taught, because Matthieu Ricard is here to teach you a new way of interpreting the human being. A French Buddhist monk and a disciple of Dalai Lama, Matthieu Ricard is the author of Plaidoyer pour l’altruisme (Advocacy For Altruism), in bookstores since September 19. It is a non-religious book similar to an encyclopedia, and its content is very relevant for these times of economic crisis. There is evidence that we aren’t selfish human beings driven only by our own interests. Moreover, today’s society is not more violent than it was in the past. Yes, we can change the way we are and, therefore, cooperate more, not only ... posted on Jan 27 2014 (7,852 reads)

of your mind. And the key here is to understand that we can select, on purpose, one of our basic motivational systems—for caring—and we can cultivate it, help it grow and mature, through practice. We also need to understand exactly why it’s useful to do this: because it changes our brain and will give us much more control over our thoughts and our lives. So in therapy that tries to develop compassion, we train people to remember, remember, remember, notice, notice, notice kindness—and then to build upon those remembrances. Buddhist monk and author Matthieu Ricard says our minds are like gardens and they will grow naturally. But if uncultivated, they are influence... posted on Jan 8 2014 (33,521 reads)

more importance, recognition and dignity to the field of domestic work through improved wages and conditions represents a major shift. Calling for - and creating - relationships that are more just and loving is an even bigger change, but one that they believe is both necessary and achievable. How does transformative organizing operate in practice? Flores’ response at the ALMAS press conference provides the essential clue. Her smile and laughter filled the room with kindness, but the words she spoke gave voice to a deeply painful reality that must be confronted: American society continues to treat immigrant domestic workers so poorly because many of them are brow... posted on Jan 9 2014 (15,267 reads)

He’s so quick-witted, he just looked at me and said ‘Oh yes Jane, have you ever known anyone homeless that long with such a great sense of humor?’ The truth is they’re naughty schoolboys together.” For Feldman, a highlight of the conference was when a teenager asked Tutu how his friendship with the Dalai Lama works despite the differences in their religions. Tutu replied: “Yes, our religions are different, but our faith is the same. We believe in kindness. And besides, we just wear different costumes.” Tutu at the Global Healing Conference in Bali, 2004. “I can hear him laugh in the shot with the fan,” says Feldman... posted on Feb 3 2014 (18,535 reads)

money to give him. And on the third day, something incredible happens when Hussein is able to secure a storefront in a dilapidated building adjacent to his shop. No electricity, no running water, but there is potential in this spot. Manuela and veterinarian Dr. Osman come by to help with the painting and clearing of rubbish while electricians and plumbers make all the necessary connections. In less than two weeks, the barber is back in business again, his whole world restored through the kindness of strangers. And as for the cats, Manuela reports that the barber shop’s smallest customers are doing just fine. They are among the hundreds here in Avsallar who receive daily meals th... posted on Dec 17 2013 (186,554 reads)

people yet not feel overwhelmed when we encounter their negative emotions. Get out of your own head: Research shows we can increase our own level of empathy by actively imagining what someone else might be experiencing. Don’t jump to conclusions about others: We feel less empathy when we assume that people suffering are somehow getting what they deserve. Meditate: Neuroscience research by Richard Davidson and his colleagues suggests that meditation—specifically loving-kindness meditation, which focuses attention on concern for others—might increase the capacity for empathy among short-term and long-term meditators alike (though especially among long-time medi... posted on Feb 5 2014 (58,485 reads)

and what you feel, you'd better be careful about it because it will come back to you and haunt you three times over.      And I feel that, on the positive side, that's also true. So therefore I believe in the power of prayer, totally. I'm in a prayer group right now with some older women and we gossip mercilessly. We also pray, we really pray, for people. We've got this list of people. We ask if they want our prayers, and we do it with intention and with kindness. And also we have a great time before we get down to praying. So I totally believe in the invisible realm.   Dr. Richard Lueker:  You know the concept of the wounded healer—... posted on Dec 31 2013 (26,745 reads)