Choosing Authentic Conversations

Despite being published almost 10 years ago, "Authentic Conversations: Moving from Manipulation to Truth and Commitment" by Jamie and Maren Showkeir is still relevant. It's message is a timely reminder that changing the culture requires changing our conversations. While they are addressing workplace conversations specifically, their strategies can be applied to any situation. An excerpt from the Introduction provides an example of their work through case histories, their analysis of situations, and their strategies for dealing with problems in a more responsible, constructive way. From the beginning of the book, we are challenged to "create a more mature, resilient organization with a capacity for creativity, innovation, and transformation in the face of unyielding marketplace demands." One could easily substitute the word 'family' for 'organization' and 'parenting' or 'marriage' for 'marketplace' and apply their strategies with little or no modification. For example, their suggestions for accomplishing the first case history are: acknowledge the problem and name the issue, own your contribution to the problem, state the risks and acknowledge the possibility of things not working out, and present others with a choice. Quite simply, they recommend telling the truth, fostering adult-to-adult relationships, and consciously changing the workplace (or home place) environment by choosing to have authentic conversations.

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