Guardian · 8 days ago

‘I Wondered If I Would Be a Coward or not’: Five Ukrainian Men on How War Has Changed Them |...

War strips men down to questions they've never had to answer about themselves. Five Ukrainian soldiers, ranging from a 24-year-old poet-tailor to a 53-year-old builder-turned-commander, speak with startling honesty about discovering who they are under fire -- including, as one puts it, "if I would be a coward or not." The transformation cuts both ways: some find an unexpected strength and belonging in military brotherhood, while others return home carrying trauma that builds invisible walls between them and the women they love. "War doesn't knock on your door, it just barges in," says one young sniper who lost his father to Russian forces, and in its wake these men describe a painful distance opening between the sexes -- soldiers operating in "survival mode" with "only one chakra working," while partners struggle to understand the language of men who've had to become warriors overnight. What emerges is not a story of heroism or horror alone, but something more quietly devastating: the recognition that war doesn't just change individual men, it fractures the intimate spaces between people, leaving even those who survive wondering how to cross back.