Greater Good · 22 days ago

The Surprising Ways Caring for My Dad Made Me a…

Caring for her father through dementia while raising two daughters, Courtney E. Martin discovered that the demands of the "sandwich generation" taught her something unexpected: the same reverence required for an elder losing words could deepen her presence with children still finding theirs. Sitting in wordless companionship with her father as he watched sunsets-learning that silence could be its own form of connection-she began to release the anxious grip of perfect parenting, making space for her quieter daughter's internal rhythms. When her father pointed at a tree and marveled, "I have no idea how this got here," she recognized the same sacred curiosity in her nine-year-old inventing a religion of three gods who share power equally. The truth at the heart of both relationships, she writes, is "reverence for how much is inside of those we care about, and how much it just keeps changing"-a reminder that loving well means evolving alongside those we love rather than trying to hold them still.