a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feeling as something separated from the rest, a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness.” -Albert Einstein I want to tell you a love story. It spans 20 years. A woman exploring tidepools was approached by a 24-legged sunflower sea star who came out of the sea grass, touching her shoe and exploring her pant leg.  The woman fell in love with that beautiful creature, and it changed her life forever . The woman is me, an artist, psychotherapist, and student of Relational Neuroscience and  Interpersonal Neurobiology (IPNB). In my role as an artist, my work addresses ... posted on Sep 26 2023 (3,160 reads)

Dinner Parties Taught Me About the Art and Importance of Social Gathering As of a month ago, I very rarely invited friends over to my house. It just felt like there was always a reason not to: I’m too busy. It’s too much work. I can’t afford to make a fancy meal. I’d have to find someone to watch my daughter. My house is a mess. But these “reasons” were actually just excuses—artificial barriers I’d constructed to keep my private life private, and to stave off the vulnerability of showing my friends what was behind the curtain of my less-than-perfect life. I was always game for meeting up for lunch at a restaurant, or a play d... posted on Nov 8 2023 (2,850 reads)

book? What do any of us think is going to happen? If perhaps now with fewer so-called gatekeepers, “how to get published?” is not the dark and menacing question it once was, it seems to me that it is worth all of us to explore, on the front end, what our motivations and hopes might be, not how, but rather “Why To Get Published?”             I spent a great deal of mental and emotional energy early in my writing life untangling writing from publishing. I understood that I could control whether or not I worked on any given day; whether my story or poem or novel was published was then beyond my control. Writing... posted on Nov 29 2023 (2,513 reads)

gift that a blessing can be, the doors it can open, the healing and transfiguration it can bring” and inviting us to “rediscover our power to bless one another.” Art by Coralie Bickford Smith from The Fox and the Star He writes: There is a quiet light that shines in every heart. It draws no attention to itself, though it is always secretly there. It is what illuminates our minds to see beauty, our desire to seek possibility, and our hearts to love life. Without this subtle quickening our days would be empty and wearisome, and no horizon would ever awaken our longing. Our passion for life is quietly sustained from somewhere in us that is wedded ... posted on Dec 11 2023 (5,716 reads)

was asked to share one story from my life when I could remember my heart really expanding. And as I looked over the course of my life, I couldn't find one thing that stood out. What I saw was, what many of you will know actually, which is deep suffering and how light is so intimately connected with the dark. It's luminous darkness. It's a deep light. And the way that our suffering breaks us open so that we may be able to receive that light. And it's not owned, right? It's not our light. It's not my light. It is the light of existence. And it's able to come through us I think, when we meet our suffering. And so I did -- I had a huge amount of suffering in my time, and, at the risk of soundi... posted on Apr 26 2024 (3,143 reads)

river delta, ChatGPT emerges as a digital oracle, beckoning us to traverse the labyrinthine pathways of ethical exploration. In the alchemical crucible of inquiry and imagination, I find solace in the whispered wisdom of Rainer Maria Rilke, echoing through the annals of time. A friend, upon reading the above passage, likened it to a hot air balloon, floating far into the sky. ChatGPT can write such passages that feel disconnected from the human process, from what she called the “salt of life.” If we are to move beyond solutions that replicate the status quo in our institutions and our thinking, we will have to stretch what we think of as “intelligent” or creative b... posted on Dec 31 1969 (15 reads)

to fix the economy? Next time you buy coffee, purchase a cup for the person behind you. Or as you grind your way through the morning commute, pick up the tollbooth charge for the driver behind you, draped over his steering wheel and ranting at the long delay. You've heard that famous Gandhian quote about being the change, well these are good measures to start with, packing more punch than you might imagine. This approach to life starts with the following premise: What exactly did I (or you) do to deserve to be alive? If you can process that question and come out thinking it was a gift that you can't ever pay back, then beginning a life of greater giving is the only logical and remote... posted on Jul 9 2011 (31,335 reads)

fewer hours could save our economy, save our sanity, and help save our planet.     Millions of Americans have lost control over the basic rhythm of their daily lives. They work too much, eat too quickly, socialize too little, drive and sit in traffic for too many hours, don’t get enough sleep, and feel harried too much of the time. It’s a way of life that undermines basic sources of wealth and well-being—such as strong family and community ties, a deep sense of meaning, and physical health.   Earn less, spend less, emit and degrade less. That's the formula. The more time a person has, the better his or her quality of l... posted on Jan 12 2012 (45,037 reads)

You start to look at people and situations with an eye for what you can offer them and not vice versa. You break the tiresome tyranny of questions like "What's in it for me?" The mindset shifts from consumption to contribution. Paradoxically, serving in this way, you are no longer operating from a space of scarcity. Your cup fills and overflows. 2. Serve to express gratitude Such joyful gratitude becomes a foundation in service. When you acknowledge the fullness of your life, you can manifest a heart of service in any situation. In that sense, service doesn't start when we have something to give -- it blossoms naturally when we have nothing left to take. And that is ... posted on Dec 27 2011 (37,406 reads)

the thing that will get you motivated to get out of bed in the morning, to cry out, “I’m alive! I’m feeling this, baby!”. And to scare your family members or anyone who happens to be in yelling distance as you do this.   This guide won’t be comprehensive, and it won’t find your passion for you. But it will help you in your journey to find it. Here’s how.   1. What are you good at? Unless you’re just starting out in life, you have some skills or talent, shown some kind of aptitude. Even if you are just starting out, you might have shown some talent when you were young, even as young as elementary school. Have you... posted on Feb 5 2012 (86,094 reads)

were treated in early stages and able to return to normal, healthy lives. So now we feel it is important to share it with you. In opening our hearts, we hope this might promote greater awareness of this condition. Perhaps it will encourage a clear understanding of the individuals and families who are affected by it. At the moment, I feel just fine. I intend to live the remainder of the years God gives me on this earth doing the things I have always done. I will continue to share life’s journey with my beloved Nancy and my family. I plan to enjoy the great outdoors and stay in touch with my friends and supporters. Unfortunately, as Alzheimer’s disease progres... posted on Feb 16 2012 (90,272 reads)

enjoyed the subject. Being naturally curious, I wanted to see how far this could go. I remember trying the “I love you” principle with other subjects that were really boring to me, like history. Suddenly, history came alive for me, and I started enjoying it very much, too. Stepping it up, I was convinced that one just could not love English grammar. But trying it there, I developed a love for writing which continues to this day. This philosophy completely transformed my life, improved my grades, and most importantly, made me simply stop caring about grades and actually enjoy learning. Talking to others, I know now that my experience is in no way unique - anyon... posted on Mar 3 2012 (19,389 reads)

Socrates, although he made the mistake of assuming that one had to accomplish this before trying to learn about the rest of the universe. (Rejecting a scientific account of the winds, Socrates said, "I can't as yet 'know myself' ... and so long as that ignorance remains it seems to me ridiculous to inquire into extraneous matters.") Actually, we humans have since learned more about ourselves by studying the wider world—by investigating the processes that created life and shaped its evolution—than we ever did through introspection, and we see those processes written large in the depths of the sky.   At the other extreme stands the wider univ... posted on Apr 2 2012 (7,359 reads)

the world was over, it became a butterfly.” “We must accept finite disappointment, but we must never lose infinite hope.”   Martin Luther King “I have the view…that the human being was not made for pleasure, was not made to gratify the ego, was not made to make money, and was not made to have babies: it was made to serve something bigger than oneself. We are built to serve.” Jacob Needleman “I slept and dreamt that life was joy. I awoke and found that life was service. I acted and behold, service was joy.”   R. Tagore “The more you unfold, the less likely you are to unravel.” ... posted on May 6 2012 (9,372 reads)

do is watch TV!" The little girl began to cry. When she did, her mom's fury escalated. She hammered on, through the girl's tears, with a word problem: "If you buy candy for $1.00 and a drink for $1.25, how much do you have to pay? Well? How much do you have to pay?" Her little girl turned her head away, sobbing. At that point, I started to tear up too. Mostly, I cried for the girl, but also for her mother. I don't know what pain this woman has felt in her life or what drives her anger. But I know it's not her child's inability to solve a math problem. And I would not be at all surprised if she'd endured similar treatment when she was her da... posted on May 7 2012 (25,580 reads)

miracle.' But when it comes to a discussion of poverty, and I maintain that it is the result of wrong economics—that the industrial system under which we live is at the root of much of the physical deafness and blindness in the world—that is a different matter! It is laudable to give aid to the handicapped. Superficial charities make smooth the way of the prosperous; but to advocate that all human beings should have leisure and comfort, the decencies and refinements of life, is a Utopian dream, and one who seriously contemplates its realization indeed must be deaf, dumb, and blind.” —Helen Keller (letter to Senator Robert La Follette, 1924) The b... posted on Jul 16 2012 (34,714 reads)

person, and to even touch them. It was just amazing." He began thumbing through a series of photographs on his phone, each displaying an image of a palm tree. Some trees stood right by the beachfront, while others lined a roadside, each seeming to belong to the house just behind it. Some had multiple trunks, and others had one bending, elegant line. Several of his photos pictured the same tree, yet from different angles and perspectives. While I've seen many palm trees in my life, I've never experienced someone truly appreciating a palm tree. This is what moved me. In all of my vacations to warm, sunny places, it never occurred to me to take such notice of these trees... posted on Aug 1 2012 (13,895 reads)

and the non-meditators are the red squares, comparing people of the same age. The non-meditators experienced normal cortical thinning in those two brain regions I mentioned above, along with a third, the somatosensory cortex. However, the people who routinely meditated and “worked” their brain did not experience cortical thinning in those regions. That has a big implication for an aging population: Use it or lose it, which applies to the brain as well as to other aspects of life. That highlights an important point that I think is a major takeaway in this territory: Experience really matters. It doesn’t matter only in our moment-to-moment well-being—how it... posted on Sep 15 2012 (147,697 reads)

A broken relationship, a deadlock at work, a growing dependence on alcohol and tobacco all made for a downward spiral that I experienced every moment but couldn’t snap out of. I was almost at breaking point when my mother decided to pay me a visit, for like only mothers can sense, she figured out from a 1000 miles away that everything wasn’t as rosy as I was making it out to be over the telephone. On the first evening of her visit she tried to get me talking about where I was at in life, what was working and what wasn’t. I resisted, was evasive in my responses and tried every trick in the book to keep the façade up. I thought I had succeeded. When I got back fro... posted on Sep 23 2012 (23,415 reads)

a centenarian the secret ingredients to a long and healthy life and you aren’t likely to hear “doctors, drugs, and fad diets.” We all know that there’s more to our overall well-being than treating symptoms or the occasional replacement of a part. The good news is that scientists in various fields are discovering ever more ways we can keep ourselves healthy without expensive medication and complicated workout regimens. Here are nine simple, scientifically proven—and sometimes surprising—ways to empower yourself to make the right choices for your body and health.  1. Laugh to your heart's delight “Laughter might be one of the on... posted on Oct 5 2012 (70,648 reads)