control that leads to anxiety problems, release the self-criticism that leads to apathy and depression, and remain present with their vulnerability and benefit from the healthy power of emotion. And this is something you can learn to do, too. How to recognize unrest We are always vulnerable, with limited control over the things that matter to us. Maybe you want your brother to quit drinking or your kids to get along or your boss to stop being so critical, or you want to protect those you love from harm or you want an end to world hunger and climate change, or you want this magical moment where everyone is all together at Thanksgiving feeling so close and connected to last forever. Whe... posted on Apr 5 2023 (6,062 reads)

it truly lifted me up.  I discovered that my deep need for affirmation turned out to be the engine under everything. It determined the triggers I had resonated with, how I had perceived the world around me, the feelings I suppressed and how I had responded. I had outsourced what I neglected to own up to.  In the people around you, you meet yourself During this period, I met countless entrepreneurs and professionals who similarly had outsourced their pain; to their loved ones, friends, co workers, partners, even to the way they build their businesses.  In particular, I saw how much loss and waste was created by ignoring their core pain. In them I met ... posted on Apr 9 2023 (3,334 reads)

existential problems — loneliness, misery, grief, alienation — “with no inkling of insight into the person’s primary human responsibility for a commitment to sustain and nourish himself.” Lying fallow is how we begin to nourish ourselves, how we begin to take responsibility for ourselves as transient miracles of aliveness and creative agents of destiny. Complement with May Sarton’s stunning poem about the relationship between solitude, presence, and love and Hermann Hesse on solitude and how to find your destiny, then revisit two centuries of titanic minds, from Kierkegaard to Sontag, on the spiritual and creative rewards of boredo... posted on Apr 20 2023 (4,853 reads)

as a woman. In giving me that small gift, she gave me a reminder for my life -- to not take things for granted, to live up to my ideals, and to share.   Just thinking of Ms. Macias leaves me with a nostalgic feeling of gratitude. And it makes me wonder how many influences I have had in my life that I never fully recognize. The teachers who saw me when I wanted to be invisible, and who believed in me when I was afraid to speak in front of the class. The aunts and uncles that loved me even when I didn’t give them anything in return, too consumed with growing up and my own life. The siblings that loved me no matter how hard I was on them. The great friends I’ve ... posted on Dec 22 2014 (22,422 reads)

miss it.” “Oh, every night there’s a fresh crop. You’ll have to come again. The plants will bloom and bloom all summer, if we do the secret thing.” “Water them?” you say. She shakes her head. “Pick off the dead blooms?” “Nothing so hard,” she says. “What then?” you say. “Show up,” she says, “and pay attention. That’s why they bloom for us—to remind us how to love.” Excerpt from Staying Power: Writings from a Pandemic Year (Bell Sound Books, 2021). ... posted on May 20 2023 (4,384 reads)

foot away from mine.  I am now going to try to put into words what was a wordless experience. I am engulfed in the most beautiful, gentle and tender gaze that I have ever beheld. Her eyes are huge and luminous. They are profoundly deep. As I look into them it is as if she has invited and allows me to see into her soul. I offer her the same invitation. My thoughts disappear and the moment is timeless.  I am at complete peace. I understand everything and I want nothing. I experience love and acceptance and the divine all at once. I don’t know how long we both looked into each other’s eyes and this experience lasted.  When my thoughts finally returned, the firs... posted on May 22 2023 (6,669 reads)

you read is to get this pizza. Once the promotion stopped, the kids [who initially read for pleasure] were less likely to read.” So that means that certain kinds of rewards—like getting candy for practicing the piano or a new pair of earrings for baking a sibling’s birthday cake—could actually demotivate kids from being creative. “If a reward is related to competence in that area, that’s different,” says Kaufman. “If you have a child who loves to draw and you get them a really nice set of colored pencils, you’re rewarding their interest and efforts.” 5. Listen for creative micro-moments In his book Killing Ideas... posted on May 29 2023 (3,084 reads)

Speech Delivered to Dharma Realm Buddhist University May 20, 2023   Thank you, President Susan Rounds and to the distinguished faculty and board of DRBU. Special thanks to the many dear friends who are part of the extended community here and have been shining lights for me for more than a decade now. Above all, warmest Congratulations to all of you in the Class of 2023. And to the families, friends, ancestors, and loved ones – near and far – who have set in motion and nurtured the ripples that allow us to be here today. It’s customary, I realize, for the person standing here to pretend or at least attempt to share with you sto... posted on May 30 2023 (2,736 reads)

Therefore, each of us perhaps seeks the special things that cause the response.  Thinking again of rainbows, Wordsworth’s lines express the heart‐leaping pleasure: My heart leaps up when I behold A rainbow in the sky. . . People seem to seek it out, and what causes one person’s aesthetic response may be different from, say, mine, or yours.  It could be a gorgeously painted motorcycle, and people who are drawn to that art-form talk about how they love it, and in what way it is beautiful; they go into rhapsodies over it. So, it seems that there is a generalized human response to what we call beauty, and it can be triggered, as in your questi... posted on Jul 9 2023 (2,594 reads)

do I want to miss it in summer, when it preemptively drops its leaves in anticipation of thirst, a model of voluntary simplicity, or in fall when its large, leathery, pear-shaped pods hang from leafless branches,  splitting open to reveal a lacquered seed that bears a striking resemblance to the eye of a buck. And I certainly would be loath to miss it in winter, when its silvery bark is laid bare, and the impressive mind map of its branches rises into view, like a floating labyrinth, a lovely skeleton, a slumbering legend.  Now I am finally undoing the unconscious conventions that control my attention, that push me towards chronic productivity. I am reclaiming my periph... posted on Jul 24 2023 (4,180 reads)

and there is nothing you can do about that. He would rather have cat litter stuck to his face than let you near him with a tissue.  Idly is not exactly dirty but he is by no means clean. His paws are a mess, suspicious dark substances cake the spaces beneath his claws. When he yawns, his breath is hot and terrible. He drools constantly. One day, a single yellow tooth falls out and is found lying on a blue pillow. There seems to be so much to overcome, before you can begin to love this prickly cat. Once I coughed while I was feeding Idly and when I look down, he is gone. I find him hiding behind the sofa and try as I might, he will not come out. Another evening I sneeze... posted on Jul 19 2023 (5,157 reads)

there are many things we can do to create a healthier sense of attribution in our lives and society. Start with your own life. Both personally and professionally, I’ve struggled with this question of attribution as my life outcomes are significantly different from those of family members and friends I grew up with. I have at different points in my life felt guilty and undeserving about my own success and angry that society has not provided the same breaks or supports to those I love. In better understanding what my success was attributed to, guilt was replaced by gratitude, and anger assuaged by a newfound knowledge of how to better support others. Reflecting on your li... posted on Aug 5 2023 (2,640 reads)

Essays (public library). He reflects: One must be two persons when one writes… The great problem is to translate what one feels into what one wants others to feel. We call a writer bad when he expresses himself in reference to an inner context the reader cannot know. The mediocre writer is thus led to say anything he pleases. In a sentiment James Baldwin would echo in his advice on writing, insisting that “beyond talent lie all the usual words: discipline, love, luck, but most of all, endurance,” Camus observes that all creative endeavor demands of us “a certain constancy of soul, and a human and literary knowledge of sacrifice.” He wr... posted on Sep 1 2023 (3,332 reads)

go on living with them So that in a forest even a dead tree casts a shadow and the leaves fall one by one and the branches break in the wind and the bark peels off slowly and the trunk cracks and the rain seeps in through the cracks and the trunk falls to the ground and the moss covers it and in the spring the rabbits find it and build their nest inside and have their young and their young will live safely inside the dead tree So that nothing is wasted in nature or in love. ... posted on Sep 30 2023 (8,780 reads)

Take your time. Friends are one of life’s greatest joys. Befriend people who make you feel like you belong rather than those who encourage you to change to fit in. Words have the power to slice through bone, and each person you meet is fighting an invisible battle. Be kind. Stay safe. Stay safe. Stay safe. Your wild energy is a gift you will learn to harness, do not let anyone convince you otherwise. Remember there is nothing you can tell me that will change how much I love you. Come home. Come home. Come home.    ... posted on Oct 2 2023 (5,219 reads)

urban, lefty lesbian, smiling like, waving like a dork. (Laughter) When I spotted the stuffed cougar on the wall behind him, this vegetarian thought she knew all she needed to know about Don the bootmaker. But there we were. So I asked him if he'd just show me quickly a little bit about his craft. He agreed. And we ended up spending the whole day together, as I drew out Don in his workshop, and he told me about the sudden death of his beloved wife, about his deep, deep grief, and about this hunting trip that he was planning, and so looking forward to taking with his son. Every tool in that shop held a story. ... posted on Oct 21 2023 (4,959 reads)

has trained us to be more ambitious for the ‘me’, while becoming more timid, unskilled and complacent for the ‘we’.But we can’t achieve or buy our way out of systems failure or collective anxiety – what some academics are now calling a general Terror About The Future (a terror our young people feel acutely).We can, however, harness our energy, skills and ambition for something greater than ourselves. We can cultivate the radical hope that comes through love in action, and personal commitment to the public good. We can take courage and optimism from the suffragettes, the abolitionists, our First Nations leaders, labour organisers, environmentalists, ... posted on Apr 10 2024 (1,789 reads)

knowing that even the universe is dying, do we bear our lives? Most readily, through friendship, through connection, through co-creating the world we want to live in for the brief time we have together on this lonely, perfect planet. The seventh annual Universe in Verse — a many-hearted labor of love, celebrating the wonder of reality through science and poetry — occasioned a joyous collaboration with Australian musician and writer Nick Cave and Brazilian artist and filmmaker Daniel Bruson on an animated poem reckoning with this central question of being alive. BUT WE HAD MUSICby Maria Popova Right this minute across time zones and opi... posted on Apr 13 2024 (4,840 reads)

good to see you all. It's an honor to be here on this holy ground with you holy people. ... Thank you for all that you're doing in the world. When I was a kid, I loved to dance. I danced freely without inhibition, not worried about who was looking. And, my parents, when we would have guests over after dinner, they would summon the entertainment, which was me. And I would come out and I would dance for our guests. I don't dance so much anymore. I think as I got older, I became a little more nervous about what people would think about me. My knees got bad. And I don't know, sometimes I fear I've lost the love - that I don't have it in me anymore.In 2005, a terrible hurricane, called Hur... posted on Apr 21 2024 (2,760 reads)

experiences, here are some of our favorite articles to put your ears (and eyes) on. The Extinction of Silence and the Man Who is Saving It: Modern noises find us almost everywhere we go, and it’s having an impact on our health! But Gordon Hempton is leading the charge to protect and preserve the places we have left. (Make sure you have your headphones when you pop into this) Whales Have Viral Music, Too! Did you know humpback whales have viral songs, too? Just like us, humpback whales love a catchy new tune. From Australia all the way to Ecuador, viral whale songs are taking over the ocean. This astonishing discovery is changing how we see whales and ourselves in the natural world.... posted on Apr 25 2024 (3,968 reads)