have a lot of social support, some people have little social support, some people are extroverted, some people are introverted—you have to take into account the happiness seeker before you give them advice about what should make them happy. And then there are factors relevant to the activity that you do. How is it that you’re trying to become happier? How is it that you’re trying to stave off adaptation? Are you trying to appreciate more? Are you trying to do more acts of kindness? Are you trying to savor the moment? The kind of person you are, the different kinds of activities, and how often you do them, and where you do them—these are all going to matter. Th... posted on Jan 23 2014 (128,004 reads)

didn't need a contract, and we didn't discuss the risk. He trusts me implicitly, and I think he knows that I'll do the right thing. We have a old-school gentlemen's agreement: a firm handshake and a promise. It's the time-honored way of making a contract. And it felt great. With tears in my eyes, I pulled away from this wonderful man's house. I'll never forget the way I felt -- thankful for the goodness of people, the kindness of strangers, the amazing story I'll recount for years. I'm now sitting 80 miles north of where we broke down. A few minutes ago, George and I exchanged text messages and he simply... posted on Feb 12 2014 (33,050 reads)

Sukham's warmth and openheartedness invites us all to find the artist within and to experience life and all it’s infinite possibilities on a path for beauty and truth. In this Awakin call conversation, hosted by Bela, Pamela shares her journey from one captivating story to the next, beginning with a life changing realization that she needed to leave a stable career to trust an inspiration… to paint. It was a joy to moderate this call, being introduced to Pamela through the kindness of Pavi a year earlier. The two artists share the same title for their work, Infinite Vision! Pamela trusts her heart, from moment to moment, inspiration to inspiration, connection to conn... posted on Apr 9 2014 (25,986 reads)

from the West Indies, he was just a shy kid in school trying to find his way until one day he was introduced to the violin. Everything changed after that. As our guest on Saturday’s Awakin Call, David shared how his journey in life has blossomed in between the soulful notes of classical music. He was named after his great-great grandfather, who had been born in France and through a series of unexpected events, ended up alone as a young boy in the West Indies. If not for the kindness of a man that took him in, the life of David’s great-great-grandfather might have turned out quite differently. Two generations later, David’s own parents were inspired by the Ame... posted on Jul 11 2014 (20,917 reads)

mood increases—and a sad mood reduces—the tendency to believe that what is familiar is actually true. Sad moods reduce other common judgmental biases, such as “the fundamental attribution error,” in which people attribute intentionality to others’ behavior while ignoring situational factors, and the “halo effect,” where judges tend to assume a person having some positive feature—such as a handsome face—is likely to have others, such as kindness or intelligence. Negative moods can also reduce another judgmental bias, primacy effects—when people place too much emphasis on early information and ignore later details. So negativ... posted on Aug 29 2014 (28,745 reads)

But that can't be right. It's not like we're trying to choose between two things that can't be compared. We're weighing the merits of two jobs, after all, not the merits of the number nine and a plate of fried eggs. A comparison of the overall merits of two jobs is something we can make, and one we often do make. 7:28    I think the puzzle arises because of an unreflective assumption we make about value. We unwittingly assume that values like justice, beauty, kindness, are akin to scientific quantities, like length, mass and weight. Take any comparative question not involving value, such as which of two suitcases is heavier. There are only three possibilit... posted on Sep 6 2014 (31,261 reads)

step: With your older and more mature perspective, look back on the day(s) that formed the belief you want to change. Notice what other stories could be told to explain the situation. Frame four other possible and positive beliefs that are equally represented in the experience. 5. Suspend judgment. Every time you criticize yourself for that old belief you make it stronger, because you weaken your connection to one of your greatest assets: self-compassion. Instead, access kindness, humanity, and mindfulness to create an internal support system built on acceptance, appreciation, and optimism. Forgiveness, too, can be a key element in this step. I’ve had to focus o... posted on Sep 26 2014 (110,725 reads)

she had to overcome. Reflecting on her youth, she channels an experience all too familiar to those who enter life from a foundation the opposite of privilege: It’s very hard to be young and curious and almost egomaniacally concerned with one’s intelligence and to have no education at all and no direction and no doors to be open… To go figuratively to a door and find there’s no doorknob. And yet Angelou acknowledges with great gratitude the kindness of those who opened doors for her in her spiritual and creative journey. Remembering the Jewish rabbi who offered her guidance in faith and philosophy and who showed up at her hospital bedsid... posted on Jul 22 2014 (26,802 reads)

I asked. She shook her head no. Later when I left, I hugged and kissed my grandmother good-bye and wished her sweet dreams. And, then took the hand of the woman and wished her sweet dreams as well. She looked at me with such sweetness, with gratitude. The next day, we had a repeat of the day before but when I left this time I took both of her hands and held them as I said sweet dreams. She looked at me deeply, her face smiling. Slowly, without words, we were building a relationship based on kindness. Yesterday, I said my usual hellos but this time as I was sitting with my grandmother I included Andrea in the conversation a bit more. I started to use her name this day. She began to try to... posted on Sep 1 2019 (49,700 reads)

Human Life Is Worth The Same’ Mark Bustos is a hair stylist at an upscale salon in New York City, but not all of his clientele have to be wealthy to get a quality trim. Sometimes, they don’t need a penny. Bustos spends every Sunday — his only day off from work — venturing through the city in search of anyone in need who’d appreciate a haircut. Approaching each person with the same, simple phrase — “I want to do something nice for you today” — Bustos provides cuts to up to six people every Sunday, capturing many stylings on his Instagram account. Bustos has been cutting hair for the less fortunate since May 20... posted on Oct 21 2014 (32,093 reads)

another experiment, Batson and colleagues examined whether people feeling compassion would help someone in distress, even when their acts were completely anonymous. In this study female participants exchanged written notes with another person, who quickly expressed feeling lonely and an interest in spending time with the participant. Those participants feeling compassion volunteered to spend significant time with the other person, even when no one else would know about their act of kindness. Taken together, our strands of evidence suggest the following. Compassion is deeply rooted in human nature; it has a biological basis in the brain and body. Humans can communicate compass... posted on Nov 5 2014 (22,333 reads)

found themselves more likely to get bronchitis and heart attacks, and were more likely to die earlier than peers who let their anger be known when other people were annoying. When anger arises, we feel called upon to prevent or terminate immediate threats to our welfare, or to the well-being of those we care about. Altruism is often born from anger; when it comes to mobilizing other people and creating support for a cause, no emotion is stronger. It’s a mistake to presume that kindness, compassion, love, and fairness line up on one side of a continuum, and anger, rage, and dislike, on another side. Positivity alone is insufficient to the task of helping us navigate social i... posted on Nov 23 2014 (28,441 reads)

secret reason I write these books and teach these courses and work with clients in all kinds of different settings. These questions are top of mind for me all the time because I am trying to find solutions even though I have been at this for decades. It’s a lifelong quest. Klein: You make the argument that Leading the Life You Want is about consciously compassionate action and about helping others. What advice do you have for our audience and for your readers about how to find that kindness for others and especially for themselves? Friedman: That is, again, the kind of paradoxical idea behind the title: You become more free to pursue the things that matter most to you when yo... posted on Dec 23 2014 (24,785 reads)

graduates, Dallas Davis grew up in a single-parent household—his father gone, his mother an alcoholic. "I was an angry kid," he recalls. "I dropped out of school in the seventh grade, and by age 15 I had left home and joined a gang." He was soon homeless and living on the streets. "I'd do anything just to stay warm—go into churches, abandoned buildings, even Grand Central Terminal. And that's the one place where I do remember someone showing me kindness." He refers to McDonald—who handed him sandwiches before The Doe Fund was founded. “After 48 arrests and 5 felony convictions, I had nowhere to go," says Dallas o... posted on Jan 4 2015 (30,688 reads)

is as humble as it is powerful." —Pir Zia Inayat-Khan from "The Seed of Love" Photo by: Ana Castilho "Ordinary seeds need the right combination of soil, water, and climate to grow. Once those conditions are in alignment, the seed will naturally begin to develop. The seed of Buddha Nature is the same. It will lie dormant until the right conditions come together. But once we discover this potential within us, we can water our seed with loving kindness and prepare its bed with mindfulness. When we do so, the growth of the seed of awakening will be effortless and natural." —Acharya Judy Lief from "A Little Seed of Awakening... posted on Jan 29 2015 (39,893 reads)

do I do with it? This series is about choices. For every thought, feeling, circumstance, we can choose how to respond. Mindfulness is about noticing the choices we make. I get a physical pain, I lose my job, someone criticizes me, my anxiety is overwhelming, the doctor gives me not so great news, what do I DO with IT? I could just notice it. I could ignore it. I could cover it up. I could try to get rid of it. I could erase it. I could exaggerate it. ... posted on Jan 21 2015 (29,322 reads)

— is one of the many gifts of hibernation. Returning to that hope of wholeness is always an approach, never an arrival. Times of deep sleep and silence make even this radical hope possible. It is radical — from the root — especially in a world that tears us apart, then shames us when we take time for healing. Hibernation, which is another word for healing, restores our nourishing, grounding source. In so doing, it frees us to become a force of reason, reflection, and kindness. In simple terms, we’ve been given to. So we have something to give. And not just any something. After a deep replenishing, what we give is veined with truth. So light a fire, and pu... posted on Feb 6 2015 (26,184 reads)

potentially volatile situations. By incorporating these “Big 3” practices in classroom management, I feel that I am “power teaching” more often than not. In all honesty, I am not going to have a successful lesson every time, but I am confident that my students know that I care for them every moment. Using the “Big 3” empowers me to feel assured that while we are exploring and chiseling at standards and academics, I am also relating to my students with kindness, care, and compassion. Together, this is what I feel is the power teaching that I summon and use throughout the day. This is the journey I am taking with my students, and I am not alon... posted on Feb 27 2015 (19,141 reads)

could properly be regarded as a form of nutrition. We mistakenly think that touch occurs on the periphery of our self, a skin thing. But truthfully each surface stimulus travels far into the most hidden interior landscapes of our self, traversing long nerve cells right through the buried spinal core to enter and gather in the deep folds of our brain. It’s not by accident that our skin and brain each are generated from a single ectodermic substance, cascading outwards and inwards as we grow in the womb, because right at the very root and origin of us, we are built to connect the inner and outer worlds. The necessity of nurturing touch is very clear when we are at our y... posted on Oct 16 2021 (44,461 reads)

to build resources in the world and the body; you likely have more influence over growing resources in your mind. And as the resources in your mind grow, that will help you build resources in your body and your world. To grow your inner strengths—particularly the key inner strengths that will help the most with an issue—consider the four questions below. You can use them for yourself or explore them with others. Throughout, it’s good to have an attitude of curiosity, kindness toward oneself, and resourcefulness. 1. What’s the issue? Pick an issue. (Maybe you’re the rare person with just one.) Try to be reasonably specific. “Life sucks&rdquo... posted on May 20 2015 (16,257 reads)