smart people before us who have asked these same questions and left behind answers for us. Because kindness, it turns out, is hard — it starts out all rainbows and puppy dogs, and expands to include . . . well, everything. One thing in our favor: some of this “becoming kinder” happens naturally, with age. It might be a simple matter of attrition: as we get older, we come to see how useless it is to be selfish — how illogical, really. We come to love other people and are thereby counter-instructed in our own centrality. We get our butts kicked by real life, and people come to our defense, and help us, and we learn that we’re not separat... posted on Feb 11 2023 (50,200 reads)

experience.”  It was an extraordinary conversation. Now, in a small town like Great Barrington, this kind of thing happens to us frequently. We can reach a wrong number and still have a meaningful discussion. But in New York City? So I was very impressed with this example of how much influence Deborah Meier has had. She started teaching in Chicago in a neighborhood where she first became an activist; later she moved to New York City to continue teaching there. What she came to love about teaching was being involved with the process of learning, finding out what it took for young people to learn specific subjects, how best to work with them to help them gain information. She... posted on Feb 13 2023 (2,462 reads)

single exhortation at the center of his ethical and ecological philosophy: “Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible.” Nothing broadens the soul more than the touch of kindness, given or received, and nothing shrivels it more than a flinch of unkindness, given or received — something we have all been occasionally lashed with, and something of which we are all occasionally culpable, no matter how ethical our lives and how well-intentioned our conduct. Everyone loves the idea of kindness — loves thinking of themselves as a kind person — but somehow, the practice of it, the dailiness of it, has receded into the background in a culture rife with&nb... posted on Mar 18 2023 (4,520 reads)

my pale blue eyes glisten, and I wonder how God chose which strand to grant your first white hair. You make an artform of disappearance, and teach me that life is second nature. I reach out at your request, finding the strand between my thumb and finger. Stillness while you wait for the pinch of the pluck. Your eyes widen as I rip the strand from its root and realise you are determined to live, be free and love what you love unabashed, like a baby in the shade, gurgling. Oh, most alive thing changing before my eyes, let me change with you, let your scalp be the loom of my ... posted on May 11 2023 (4,639 reads)

our anxious quickenings, beneath our fanged fears, beneath the rusted armors of conviction, tenderness is what we long for — tenderness to salve our bruising contact with reality, to warm us awake from the frozen stupor of near-living. Tenderness is what permeates Platero and I (public library) by the Nobel-winning Spanish poet Juan Ramón Jiménez (December 23, 1881–May 29, 1958) — part love letter to his beloved donkey, part journal of ecstatic delight in nature and humanity, part fairy tale for the lonely. Healer on a Donkey by Niko Pirosmani, early 1900s. Living in his birthplace of Moguer — a small town in... posted on Jul 25 2023 (4,108 reads)

League Boots” by Zoë Keating] Rick Rubin: Our creativity doesn’t come from our ideas … Everything we do has all of ourselves in it. It can have all of ourselves deeply in it, or it could just be surface level. But either way, we’re inhabiting the things that we’re making. The good ones have our soul. You know, they have a piece of us in them. Tippett: I’m Krista Tippett, and this is On Being. There are some surprises in this lovely, soothing conversation with Rick Rubin — like the way he finds a metaphor for all of life in pro wrestling. And he left the doors of his studio wide open as we spoke so you might hear a s... posted on Nov 30 -0001 (32 reads)

his or her arm through the barrier and waited. The other person was given a list of emotions, and he or she had to try to convey each emotion through a one-second touch to the stranger’s forearm. The person whose arm was being touched had to guess the emotion. Given the number of emotions being considered, the odds of guessing the right emotion by chance were about eight percent. But remarkably, participants guessed compassion correctly nearly 60 percent of the time. Gratitude, anger, love, fear—they got those right more than 50 percent of the time as well. We had various gender combinations in the study, and I feel obligated to disclose two gender differences we found: When... posted on Feb 24 2011 (43,478 reads)

usually blogging, but it can be writing a novel or an ebook or my next book or creating a course to help others or connecting with incredible people or spending time with my wife or playing with my kids. There’s no limit, because I’m free. In the end, I usually end up achieving more than if I had goals, because I’m always doing something I’m excited about. But whether I achieve or not isn’t the point at all: all that matters is that I’m doing what I love, always. I end up in places that are wonderful, surprising, great. I just didn’t know I would get there when I started. Quick questions Question from a reader: Isn’t having no goal... posted on Sep 1 2011 (28,597 reads)

moved so much as a millimeter, I’d drop him in his socks. The old man continued to beam at the laborer. There was not a trace of fear or resentment about him. “What’cha been drinkin’?” he asked lightly, with interest. “I been drinkin’ sake,” the laborer bellowed back, “and it’s none of your god d#*& business!” “Oh, that’s wonderful,” the old man said with delight. “Absolutely wonderful! You see, I love sake, too. Every night, me and my wife (she’s seventy-six, you know), we warm up a little bottle of sake and take it our into the garden, and we sit on the old wooden bench that my grandfat... posted on Dec 8 2011 (42,825 reads)

supreme accomplishment is to blur the line between work and play.” - Arnold Toynbee   Following your passion can be a tough thing. But figuring out what that passion is can be even more elusive.   I’m lucky — I’ve found my passion, and I’m living it. I can testify that it’s the most wonderful thing, to be able to make a living doing what you love.   And so, in this little guide, I’d like to help you get started figuring out what you’d love doing. This turns out to be one of the most common problems of many Zen Habits readers — including many who recently responded to me on Twitter.... posted on Feb 5 2012 (86,524 reads)

this was a dream in a bottle inspired by his book, The BFG. In response, the author penned this short note to his 7-year-old fan   Dear Amy, I must write a special letter and thank you for the dream in the bottle. You are the first person in the world who has sent me one of these and it intrigued me very much. I also liked the dream. Tonight I shall go down to the village and blow it through the bedroom window of some sleeping child and see if it works. With love from, (Signed) Roald Dahl 2. Thank You for Keeping Me Safe on the Moon When your job involves leaving the planet to walk on the nearest rocky body, it’s important that the p... posted on Feb 16 2012 (90,444 reads)

of the Institute for the Study of Health and Illness (ISHI) at Commonweal. ISHI is a training institute for health professionals who wish to serve people with life threatening illness and take a more relationship-centered approach to the practice and teaching of medicine. The institute's approach is based upon experience with over 600 people with cancer who have participated in Commonweal's programs and on Dr. Remen's 20-year experience counselling people with cancer and those who love them. In addition to being a physician for 30 years, Dr Remen has been a patient of the medical system for 40 years. She has Crohn's disease and has had major surgery seven times. Thi... posted on Mar 23 2012 (51,318 reads)

with thoughtful lyrics struck a deep chord with audiences and their popularity caught and spread like wildfire.  Their hit single Blood Brothers would become a cult classic, particularly amongst the young South Asian diaspora.“I went from a nobody to lots of fortune and some fame; In my own eyes, I think I’m doing really well, Got lots of money so tell nobody to worry about my wealth; As for my health, well, it could be a little better; But take care of yourself, love your bro, I’ll storm through this weather.”     The song closes with the elder brother telling the younger one: “No, I would never let you go through what I&rs... posted on May 4 2012 (60,002 reads)

out on exciting things, and wanted so much to be out doing the fun things everyone else was doing. I was always changing the way I did things, because it seemed everyone else had a better system or tools. I strove to meet goals, because they would get me to a better life. And as I learned to be content, here was what changed: I learned to be happy with healthier food, with less food, and my health improved and waistline shrunk. I relied on a good book, spending time with people I loved, going for a nice run … and my debt began to be reduced as I learned I didn’t need to spend money to enjoy myself. I learned to be happier with who I was, and what I was doing, and ... posted on Sep 8 2012 (37,070 reads)

holds the possibility for expanding our capacity to love. There is only one reason to forgive. If we want to be free, if we want to live as the full and unlimited expression of ourselves, if we want our hearts to open, then we are being invited to put an end to all stories that keep us closed and contracted. Consider also these benefits of forgiveness: less stress, lower heart rate, lower blood pressure, improved sleep, greater psychological well being. What exactly is forgiveness? When we are in the state of unforgiving, we are holding on to a grudge. A grudge is a story of hurt and resentment that we believe to be true and repeat over and over in our thoughts. I... posted on Jun 7 2021 (60,861 reads)

to me. I have respect for all paths that respect one another. I do not have respect for a lot of piety and righteousness or self absorbed, 'this is the best way' attitude. I don't really understand the fear that must be involved or the kind of protectionism or tribalism in Evangelical movements, whether it's Evangelical Islam or Evangelical Christianity. I don't really understand the need to be right to the exclusion of someone else being right. What if those of us who love poetry said poetry is more right than dance, for example, or poetry is more right than steel drum music. Or a sonnet is real and an open form poem is not real. Or haiku is right and villanelle is... posted on Jan 10 2013 (27,326 reads)

home a little black puppy from an animal shelter in South India. Mia had been brought in with her mother and three of her siblings, and was the only one of the pups to survive. The young couple who adopted her had no idea how deeply this bright-eyed newcomer would touch their hearts and transform their lives. In this short piece Snigdha opens a window onto their experience...which at its core is the experience of anyone who stumbles upon the gift of unconditional love. Mia will not always come if you call her. She may or may not sit: it depends on her mood. She definitely won’t lie down on command and I can’t think of anything mo... posted on Mar 31 2013 (14,935 reads)

and each of those components are constructive ways of being, like altruism or benevolence, compassion, inner peace, inner strength, inner freedom. [It is] the sense of freedom from being carried away by all sorts of wild chain reactions of thoughts due to craving, or hatred, or all that. It is the real freedom to maintain your inner peace. All of those together make a way of being that I think characterizes authentic happiness. It is a skill, because each of those factors, like altruistic love, can be cultivated, a greater inner strength can be cultivated. There are ways to cultivate the skills to be free from being overwhelmed by afflictive emotions. You could say that all of those co... posted on May 14 2013 (55,753 reads)

don’t mean love, when I say patriotism,” writes Ursula K. Le Guin in her classic 1969 novel The Left Hand of Darkness. “I mean fear. The fear of the other. And its expressions are political, not poetical: hate, rivalry, aggression.” In some corners, patriotism has a bad name. “Patriot” is mildly defined in my desktop dictionary as a “supporter of one’s own country”—and yet my thesaurus suggests the word “patriotism” can be synonymous with jingoism, chauvinism, nativism, and xenophobia. Particularly during times of war, patriotism does indeed seem to go hand-in-hand with dehumanization of outsid... posted on Jul 4 2013 (20,178 reads)

they become paralyzed with fear. And they never surf again. How often we are faced with just such a thing in our own lives – the waves beckon, but we stand frozen on the shore, wanting assurances of perfect safety before we dive back in. And because safety is never guaranteed, we often never get past dipping a toe in before we turn away, too afraid to try again. When our idea gets shot down at work, we decide it’s easier to just keep our thoughts to ourselves; if a movie we love gets put in turnaround once again, we become jaded and begin to cater to the lowest common denominator so we might not have to feel the sting of failure for something we care too much about; and ... posted on Jul 20 2013 (42,451 reads)