trick to being a happier worker, though, doesn’t necessarily lie in earning more money or getting more “goodies” at work, says McKee, but in making sure that three basic human needs are met on the job: Meaning or purpose: the feeling that our work matters and is aligned with our personal values; Hope or optimism: the sense that our future can improve if we just understand our needs better and create a plan for ourselves; Friendships or positive relationships: connection to others, which matters as much to our happiness as other aspects of our job. As purpose, optimism, and positive relationships have all been ti... posted on Apr 28 2018 (59,463 reads)

not only changes your life, but also extends beyond your intimate sphere. It gives rise to compassion, kindness, forgiveness, and empathy, and thus informs how we treat others and how we act in the larger world. ~ Kristi Nelson The benefits of gratitude range from deeper sleep and better health to higher self-esteem and enhanced stress resilience. Gratitude has also been shown to enhance our relationships. And, if that’s not enough, gratitude makes us happier. As Brother David Steindl-Rast writes, “The root of joy is gratefulness … For it is not joy that makes us grateful; it is gratitude that makes us joyful.” Kripalu p... posted on Oct 17 2018 (22,431 reads)

part of the day in prayer and contemplation; then part of the day helping the sick and dying. That combination was powerful. Then, my therapist Jim Bugental, opened a universe through me as I have described. There have been a variety of other teachers.  The first one was Ram Dass. Then a variety of other teachers from other traditions: Jack Kornfield from Buddhism, Thomas Keating in Christianity; A Course in Miracles.  A Course in Miracles is very explicit on using community and relationships as one's practice.   My wife and I practiced the Course together and wrote the book I mentioned:  Accept This Gift - Selections from A Course in Miracles.   ... posted on Jan 17 2019 (6,205 reads)

you’re trying to become happier, you’ve probably heard the advice to practice gratitude. “Gratitude is literally one of the few things that can measurably change people’s lives,” writes pioneering researcher Robert Emmons in his book Thanks! His studies suggest that gratitude can improve our health and relationships—making it one of the most well-studied and effective ways to increase our well-being in life. But prescribing gratitude to everyone is a problem: Most of what we know about it comes from studying Americans—and, specifically, the mainly white American college students from the campuses where researchers work. That crea... posted on Aug 11 2019 (9,877 reads)

Accountability for Social Change is a monthly series on Giving Compass exploring feedback in philanthropy with practical steps for donors. It serves as a primer for the 2020 publication of David Bonbright’s (co-founder and chief executive, Keystone Accountability) book on the emergence of mutuality — working on relationships and not just in them — as a breakthrough approach to philanthropy and social change. The stories and advice are based on a 40-year journey to mutuality craft. Part Five of this series has been syndicated below. As one of the world’s most famous moral leaders, Nelson Mandela’s larger-than-life struggle against aparth... posted on Nov 8 2019 (4,476 reads)

of whack-a-mole, where you're constantly trying to hit a different mole that's popping up and another one comes up and you just can't win. The more we look at it we see that these are all outward manifestations of our inner state and I think it all comes down to connection. The first connection with our own body, mind, spirit, and when we find peace and unconditional love and we find harmony in these spaces, we're able to bring that into the world, and that manifests in our relationships, all of our relationships. Our relationships with our loved ones, with our community, and the broader extensions, a layer of the onion outside of what we might consider as our immediate ... posted on Dec 5 2019 (4,818 reads)

tend to be the most challenging arena for spiritually-oriented people. We may be fine reading our spiritual books and being on retreat but what happens when we deal with a friend, partner, or family member with whom we are in conflict? Inner peace can fly out the window in the blink of an eye followed by days of inner turmoil. As a result, we may want to avoid the messy business of relationships and hole up in a monastery for awhile. We can approach human relationships as a catalyst rather than an obstacle to spiritual growth. Relationships are where the rubber hits the road, where residues of the separate-inside-self, large or small, get exposed and worked through. It is th... posted on Jul 4 2020 (6,310 reads)

also makes us happier and healthier too. Giving also creates stronger connections between people and helps to build a happier society for everyone. And it's not all about money - we can also give our time, ideas and energy. So if you want to feel good, do good!    Q: What do you do to help others?    2. RELATING: Connect with people   Relationships are the most important overall contributor to happiness. People with strong and broad social relationships are happier, healthier and live longer. Close relationships with family and friends provide love, meaning, support and increase our feelings of self worth. Broader networks bring a sense... posted on Apr 14 2012 (91,561 reads)

over several days, but I noticed that, as the hours went by, the crowds were shrinking in these brilliant lectures. I walked out, and I felt deflated, like the proverbial ton of bricks had just hit me. As I went home to Boston, I said, "Wait a minute. This can't work." I was reacting to the framing of the messages. They seemed still locked in the mechanical, quantitative frame, and thus not really reflecting ecological truths, which for me means focusing on the quality of relationships. It occurred to me that a lot of today's dominant messages — some that are part of the environmental movement and others that seem to just float through our culture — are... posted on Jan 13 2014 (26,477 reads)

and a meaningful life have some differences,” says Roy Baumeister, a Francis Eppes Professor of Psychology at Florida State University. He bases that claim on a paper he published last year in the Journal of Positive Psychology, co-authored with researchers at the University of Minnesota and Stanford. Baumeister and his colleagues surveyed 397 adults, looking for correlations between their levels of happiness, meaning, and various other aspects of their lives: their behavior, moods, relationships, health, stress levels, work lives, creative pursuits, and more. They found that a meaningful life and a happy life often go hand-in-hand—but not always. And they were curious t... posted on Mar 28 2014 (34,709 reads)

They learn to look beyond language to identify underlying emotions, whether joy, fear, frustration, or curiosity. In so doing, they learn to understand their own emotions and those of others. They’re in a program called Roots of Empathy, part of a growing education trend broadly referred to as “social and emotional learning” (SEL), where children—and often their teachers and parents—learn to manage emotions, and to develop the skills required to establish relationships, de-escalate and resolve conflict, and effectively collaborate with others. Kids burdened by loss, anger, and feelings of rejection need, proponents suggest, a way to regulate those emot... posted on Jun 25 2014 (17,776 reads)

adults. He seemed at peace with himself, his family, his work, and the world. As a young person I understood that he had something that I wanted: a sense of belonging, of being at home in the world. My relationship with my friend’s dad opened up a whole new world for me outside the confines of traditional suburban Maryland. As I grew older, I intentionally sought out mentors like my friend’s dad who would guide me, answer my questions, and teach me how to be a better man. These relationships have changed my life, inspired me, and helped me mature from an adolescent boy into a man. Unfortunately, research suggests that most young people aren’t so lucky; they go on th... posted on May 22 2015 (27,622 reads)

until I heard of Mark Boyle, a man in the UK who lived without money who felt healthier than ever before, that I was very interested in starting this experiment to live in a gift economy. Last year, I began an experiment to heal myself from cancer by transitioning to a gift economy. I decided not to buy anything from strangers and impersonal companies as much as possible because I feel disconnected. It bothered me that I don't know where my food comes from! All this stress, impersonal relationships and loneliness isn't good for my health. So I decided to support and rely on my family, friends and local neighbours for my basic needs. I asked a friend, Carlos, to invite his frien... posted on May 25 2015 (22,946 reads)

the fixed mindset — creates an urgency to prove yourself over and over. If you have only a certain amount of intelligence, a certain personality, and a certain moral character — well, then you’d better prove that you have a healthy dose of them. It simply wouldn’t do to look or feel deficient in these most basic characteristics. I’ve seen so many people with this one consuming goal of proving themselves — in the classroom, in their careers, and in their relationships. Every situation calls for a confirmation of their intelligence, personality, or character. Every situation is evaluated:Will I succeed or fail? Will I look smart or dumb? Will I be acce... posted on Oct 9 2015 (25,671 reads)

cultural settings. The results, published in the Journal of Experimental Psychology, showed that the pursuit of happiness did indeed lead to less well-being for Americans, a finding that replicates prior studies. This wasn’t the case elsewhere in the world. The impact of culture on the pursuit of happiness seems to be related to the way different cultures view happiness, says Ford. In Russia and East Asia, study participants were shown to strongly equate happiness with social relationships—something Ford says is in line with their more “collectivist,” or group-oriented, cultures. In Germany and the United States this wasn’t the case, probably a resu... posted on Jan 7 2016 (18,393 reads)

is not a goal to be achieved but a gift to be received. When we treat community as a product that we must manufacture instead of a gift we have been given, it will elude us eternally. When we try to “make community happen,” driven by desire, design, and determination—places within us where the ego often lurks—we can make a good guess at the outcome: we will exhaust ourselves and alienate each other, snapping the connections we yearn for. Too many relationships have been diminished or destroyed by a drive toward “community-building” which evokes a grasping that is the opposite of what we need to do: relax into our created condition ... posted on Aug 29 2016 (28,201 reads)

you had a billion dollars to give, what would you do?" It's a great question that we often ask our interns.  In this week's NY Times, best-selling author David Brooks articulated his response after being inspired by the recent letters of Giving Pledge signers. And it seemed like a page straight out of the ServiceSpace handbook. "Only loving relationships transform lives, and such relationships can be formed only in small groups. I’d seed 25-person collectives, a group of people who met once a week to share." Just like Awakin Circles.  He spoke about local retreats, quite in the vein of Moved by Love. &nb... posted on Jul 28 2017 (9,756 reads)

good products and services, you’ve got to figure out what their pain is. MW: That’s right. You may never have used the word compassion, but when you’re identifying somebody’s pain point and you’re trying to create something that alleviates it, that’s actually compassionate product design. NE: Fantastic. So it makes us better at designing the products. What else? MW: It makes us much better at delivering a service. Service quality hinges on relationships, and relationships deepen when we listen and hear what’s going on in someone else’s life. We tune into something that might be causing them pain, and we respond in an authent... posted on Sep 13 2018 (7,510 reads)

conflict behaviors—things like widening the lens to consider alternate viewpoints, or admitting your part in creating conflict. In other words, being authentic is essential to resolving conflict at work in a productive and positive way.  It’s also been tied to less burnout, because it helps people deal more easily with jobs that involve a lot of emotional labor. 2. Utilize the power of appreciation Showing appreciation is fundamental to building strong relationships, keeping negative things in perspective, and empowering teams. However, it is different from offering recognition. We often think of these things as the same, especially in professional ... posted on Sep 30 2018 (8,122 reads)

True, we’re  not trying to sell quick-fix-spirituality that promises enlightenment in five easy steps. Our programs represent the depth and challenge and true requirements of a spiritual journey. So, it’s very important that we never sell out or compromise on mission. That is our first bottom line: being true to our mission. Our second bottom line is our process: How are we doing the work? For us, the ends and means are the same, as I mentioned. Are we honoring all of our relationships—with authors, with vendors, with customers, with future generations? Are we valuing the workplace itself? So, our second bottom line involves the health of all of our relationships... posted on Nov 24 2018 (6,247 reads)