I remember one evening, when my life was pretty different and I was overweight and deeply in debt and a smoker and had such a hard time changing things … I wasn’t feeling too good about my life.
I felt horrible about myself, and wondered why I was stuck. I felt hopeless and helpless, and generally depressed about the state of things around me.
Then I looked up at the sky, and saw the stars set in a deep blue-black canvas. And I thought, what a miracle life is.
And I resolved to mentally list the things I had in my life that were good.
My list of good things was something like this:
- I had a wonderful wife
- I had 5 amazing children (now 6)
- I had loving parents and siblings and grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins
- I wasn’t sick
- I had a job
- I had decent shelter and food
- My family was healthy
- I could see, and appreciate the beauty of the world around me
- I could taste delicious food
- I had great books to read
The list went on, but you get the idea. Even when things seemed horrible for me, actually I was OK. And more than that, I had some amazing blessings in my life.
That night I resolved to count my blessings more often. I resolved to be grateful for what I had, for the people in my life.
I started the habit of gratitude.
Now, this seems like a trivial and maybe trite and hokey thing to many people. I’m here to tell you that it’s not trivial, and as trite/hokey as it may seem, it changes lives.
Here’s what happened to me, as I changed my thinking from one of negativity, to one of gratitude:
- I appreciated my wife Eva more, and told her so, and felt good about having her in my life, and we deepened our relationship.
- I also appreciated my kids more, and instead of getting mad at them so much, I would notice their lovingness, their curiosity, their humor and playfulness.
- I appreciated my other loved ones more, and while I don’t always tell them how grateful I am for them, I do think it a lot, and do tell them much more often now.
- I was kinder to others around me, at work and everywhere else, because instead of seeing the faults in everyone, I saw the good, and was grateful for them.
- I needed less, because instead of thinking about what I don’t have, I was grateful for what I did have.
- Little things bothered me less, because instead of complaining about every little thing, I would find things to be thankful for.
- I appreciated nature all around me, smaller things that I might have missed before, beauty in everything.
- Habit change became easier, because instead of focusing on how hard the change was, I found the joy in the changes, and joy in seeing myself overcome challenges.
- Each and every moment became cause for gratitude, and living in the present became easier.
The list goes on and on, but each of these things is incredibly powerful. Not trite. Not hokey. Pure wonder.
So how do you pick up this habit? It’s interesting, because so much of our lives is spent in unconscious mental habits. Without knowing it, we complain, we nitpick, we stress about little faults, we see the bad in people and situations. Changing that doesn’t happen immediately.
But. You can change a little at a time. Start with a small gratitude session, and really be thankful. Really feel the happiness that something or someone is in your life.
Take a moment to make a list, right now, of the things in your life you’re thankful for. You just might be looking back on this moment years later, as the moment your entire life changed.
Leo Babauta is the founder of the popular Zen Habits Blog. This post is shared here with permission.
I found this article, incredbly inspiring. I'm sure you will to. It's brief and to the point. Check it out. http://worldobserveronline....
I found this article, incredbly inspiring. I'm sure you will to. It's brief and to the point. Check it out. http://worldobserveronline....
One of the things that I have learned is that gratitude is more about doing and demonstrating than it is about a feeling. That said, I have also often experienced feeling grateful when I have practiced showing gratitude. Going one step further, a wise friend suggested that I begin the practice of doing something for someone--an act of gratitude if you will--without getting caught. Along these same lines, I try to do things for others without any expectation of getting anything in return; this helps keep me from doing things for others with selfish or ulterior motives.
If you're like me you may get this gratitude thing intellectually, but find it hard to 'feel' sometimes. When that happens, when as you say or think of all the things you are grateful for but the anxiety continues try this one mental trick: consider what your life would be like without those things. Without that significant other. Without your kids, or your pets, or your friends. Imagine your life without your close family members, or your home - what if you were homeless? This exercise will put you into a fearful state of mind for a moment, at which time remind yourself that you DO have all those things and people. That usually gives me that grateful feeling by the bucket load. Try it and see. :)
Ww certainly get what we focus on for sure.
Saved my life. Quit drinking and quite depreciating myself. When I changed the world around me changed. We are a product of how we think.
On Sep 15, 2015 Yale Landsberg wrote:
We link to this splendid article from the portion of our www.familycology.org "omnistic families as congregations" site, at the place where we mention an atheistic "Church of Humble Graditude". Hope you do not mind!!! Max pax, Yale and Jackie Landsberg
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