Hugs Around the World: A Sister's Legacy of Love, by Gretchen

Hugs Around the World: A Sister's Legacy of Love

BY GRETCHEN
Jul 18, 2012
3 minute read

After living through an experimental cancer treatment my sister Barb was left unable to work. When she was offered the opportunity to do a mission trip in India if she could come up with $3,000 - she was left thinking there was no way she could go. No way to raise the funds. She asked me to brainstorm with her as to ways she could raise money. "The only thing I can do is hug," she told me - and thus her adventure began.

I designed a "Hugs Around the World" card for her which she used to solicit donations. For any amount donated, she promised to hug a person in India. On the back of the cards the donor could write their name, below which it said “...cares about you.” The cards would be given to the people hugged, offering love and care a world away.

After raising the money she needed, she was told that culturally the people in India are not huggers, and that it wasn't a good idea to go through with it. But, my sister Barb was not one to follow cultural norms here or there. Having faced death and won, she was a person that lived true to her spirit. She wasn’t afraid to stand out and do something others might feel uncomfortable doing. She knew how to let her love shine.

I have heart-warming pictures of her there, with her arms around undesirables - women she found along the way that no one would talk to. She hugged men and women and children and shared love around the world.

A few years ago her cancer returned with a vengeance and she knew her time here was limited. She asked that I design a new card for her - a funeral card. It looked like the original but in a new color. This time on the back it had hersignature, with the words "cares about you"... and we were asked to carry her love on by sharing hugs in her memory.

Asked to prepare a eulogy for her memorial service, I wasn't sure exactly what to say, but sat down and wrote from my heart. Out loud, I asked God to let me know if I was saying the right things, then trusted that Iâ€ˆwould know.

Shortly after finishing, I left my house to pick up my car from the garage. When I walked in - in a hurry to rush in and out - I noticed a young boy standing in the lobby. His hair was very thin, and I wondered if he was okay - thinking he may have cancer.â€ˆIt was an unusual sight, and gave me pause.

It was a just 2-second glance - and I was on my way to the counter when he looked up at me, raised his arms, and said -- "Hug?..."

(The picture on the right shows the card that Gretchen, the author of this story, designed for her sister's funeral. It is set inside the trunk of a giant redwood tree where Barb's ashes are scattered)

This story has been printed here with permission.

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6 Past Reflections

On Sep 16, 2015 Gretchen Herrmann wrote:

Today, Sept. 16, 2015, the rest of her ashes are being . . . well. . . not really scattered, they are going over the Niagara Falls in a tiny plastic barrel. Along with her two hugs cards. I love my family. Wish I could post the pic. : )

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On Jul 19, 2012 Katishort wrote:

Thanks, Gretchen. Your sister's story is worth telling and retelling.

1 reply: Dailygood | Post Your Reply

On Jul 18, 2012 KD wrote:

Brave and blessed!!

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On Jul 18, 2012 gretchen wrote:

Post Script:Barb was first diagnosed with t-cell lymphoma over twenty years ago. Faced with a very short prognosis, she was recognized as a good candidate for an experimental treatment.Her first fundraising began there.Our community raised over $300,000 to send her out to Johns-Hopkins in 1989 to be one of the first people in the country to have their own bone marrow taken out, treated with radiation, and then put back in. (even in a family of ten kids, none of us were a match for her.)She lived a pretty normal life for twenty years after that - though surely would have lived a short time without. Because of it, her kids were able to grow up with a mom.The procedure is routine now, and people all over are able to live on because of the bravery of her and a couple of others who were willing to try that "experiment". . .When her cancer returned a couple of years ago, she once again tried an aggressive treatment but this time it was evident that her time was limited.In the twenty years ... [View Full Comment]

Post Script:

Barb was first diagnosed with t-cell lymphoma over twenty years ago. Faced with a very short prognosis, she was recognized as a good candidate for an experimental treatment.

Her first fundraising began there.

Our community raised over $300,000 to send her out to Johns-Hopkins in 1989 to be one of the first people in the country to have their own bone marrow taken out, treated with radiation, and then put back in. (even in a family of ten kids, none of us were a match for her.)

She lived a pretty normal life for twenty years after that - though surely would have lived a short time without. Because of it, her kids were able to grow up with a mom.

The procedure is routine now, and people all over are able to live on because of the bravery of her and a couple of others who were willing to try that "experiment". . .

When her cancer returned a couple of years ago, she once again tried an aggressive treatment but this time it was evident that her time was limited.

In the twenty years of LIFE though, she continued to grow spiritually, sharing God's love wherever she went. She lived her faith out loud. When it was time for her to decide on trying yet another experimental treatment or to let nature take its course, she knew that her life here was coming to a close and that she was ready to move on. She was a living testament to faith. With almost no fear, she boldly proclaimed that she was ready to meet the Lord - and left the hospital to go home - to play in the snow - and to live out the rest of her days.

Though the time was short, it helped give her kids time to prepare for her death. She lived vibrantly up until just days before she left here.

Her funeral service was a real celebration of LIFE and FAITH. Though we were all sad for our own losses - and especially for her kids - we knew that she was gleefully cheering "wooohoooo! What a ride!!" as she left this world for the next.

She was an inspiration. A quirky, funny, unique lady - who lived without filters. She knew who she was and she lived that all out loud.

And in her memory: "Love one another" John 13:34

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1 reply: Wanderingnwondering | Post Your Reply

On Jul 18, 2012 Summerbou wrote:

I understand. My deathless legacy of love to my sister was "Sixtyfive Roses: A Sister's Memoir," the book she made me promise to write as she lay dying. We had grown into young women and spent our entire lives from the ages of four and six fighting her illness, Cystic Fibrosis. For more on this legacy visit www.sixtyfiverosesthebook.com

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On Jul 18, 2012 Dr Carl Stonier wrote:

Years ago, (about 1985) I met a methodist minister from Joliet, Il whilst on a trip to the USA. He had set up a 'Hug Ministry' and gave out Hug Cards, which had a picture of a koala bear and the motto 'Good for one free hug'. The idea was that you gave someone a hug, and a card, and they had to pass the card on with another hug. I brought the idea back to the UK and for several years had a thriving Hug Card following, spreading the love around, especially within the Cancer Self Help groups network. Hugs really do make a difference.

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