It was yet another Tuesday. My favorite day of the week, since its Awakin Day for our local community on the outskirts of Pune.
As is my regular practice, I finish up cooking in the first half of the day, then tidy up the kitchen, and close with the rest of the daily chores. On this day, 10 people had RSVP'd and everything was planned accordingly.
Then, at 4PM, I got a call from an attendee saying that seven extra visitors from Chandigarh would be coming! I was flustered by the news -- what would I do now? It was already past 4PM and I wasn't sure how to cook for seven more people. I tried to still my mind, and just then my neighbor Chumiki (also a regular at Awakin) called me and said, "Can I make pulav (a rice dish) for the evening?" It was as if the universe was listening in. I tell her, "Yes of course!" And gave her the new head count.
Our circle begins with an hour of silence. At the end of the hour as we open our eyes, the room is filled with the many unfamiliar (yet familiar) faces of the people who have silently tip toed in throughout the evening. We read the passage, Enlightenment is Intimacy with All Things, in English and Hindi and our sharing starts. As the talking stick passes, each one shares for a little bit. Until the stick arrives at the hands of first-time guest, who seems to be about 25 years old.
He slowly takes a deep breath and looks at each one of us intensely and starts his sharing, "I am new here, and I don’t really know how I reached here. But today, after sitting in silence for an hour, I feel like I've entered a safe space. I want to share some things that have been bottled up inside me for many years. I'd never shared this with anybody before."
With a lot of sincerity, he continued. "I lost my mother when I was 4 hours old, right after I was born. I don't have a father either. He's alive but he was an assassin, so I've erased him from my memory. I dropped out of school, became a womanizer, and a drug addict. You name a drug and I've done it. Sometimes I've even eaten food out of trash cans that a dog would eat from. When I look at my life, I see that I have done all kinds of unwholesome and terrible things."
After sharing some more details, he adds, "I wonder what makes you all trust a person like me at this gathering, how can you trust and open doors for someone who is carrying the burden of his past garbage?"
The room listened to him in stunned silence. As the host, I felt like I had to do something, but wasn't sure what. I quietly prayed to my inspirations, asking to be guided to do the right thing. Suddenly, I heard myself saying, "Let's hold a minute of silence while holding each other’s hands."
It felt like a very long minute. I could hear a silent chorus emanating from every heart in the circle, "Loka samastha sukhino bhavantu." (May all creation abide in deep peace.)
Unstoppable tears flowed from this young man's eyes for the rest of the session.
As soon as the sharing ended and just before the circle broke for dinner, everyone lined up to give him an individual hug. For the rest of the evening, his cup overflowing with gratitude for each one.
I'm reminded of a quote Sheetal, (one of our community lights) often shares, "We're all just walking each other home."
As is my regular practice, I finish up cooking in the first half of the day, then tidy up the kitchen, and close with the rest of the daily chores. On this day, 10 people had RSVP'd and everything was planned accordingly.
Then, at 4PM, I got a call from an attendee saying that seven extra visitors from Chandigarh would be coming! I was flustered by the news -- what would I do now? It was already past 4PM and I wasn't sure how to cook for seven more people. I tried to still my mind, and just then my neighbor Chumiki (also a regular at Awakin) called me and said, "Can I make pulav (a rice dish) for the evening?" It was as if the universe was listening in. I tell her, "Yes of course!" And gave her the new head count.
Our circle begins with an hour of silence. At the end of the hour as we open our eyes, the room is filled with the many unfamiliar (yet familiar) faces of the people who have silently tip toed in throughout the evening. We read the passage, Enlightenment is Intimacy with All Things, in English and Hindi and our sharing starts. As the talking stick passes, each one shares for a little bit. Until the stick arrives at the hands of first-time guest, who seems to be about 25 years old.
He slowly takes a deep breath and looks at each one of us intensely and starts his sharing, "I am new here, and I don’t really know how I reached here. But today, after sitting in silence for an hour, I feel like I've entered a safe space. I want to share some things that have been bottled up inside me for many years. I'd never shared this with anybody before."
With a lot of sincerity, he continued. "I lost my mother when I was 4 hours old, right after I was born. I don't have a father either. He's alive but he was an assassin, so I've erased him from my memory. I dropped out of school, became a womanizer, and a drug addict. You name a drug and I've done it. Sometimes I've even eaten food out of trash cans that a dog would eat from. When I look at my life, I see that I have done all kinds of unwholesome and terrible things."
After sharing some more details, he adds, "I wonder what makes you all trust a person like me at this gathering, how can you trust and open doors for someone who is carrying the burden of his past garbage?"
The room listened to him in stunned silence. As the host, I felt like I had to do something, but wasn't sure what. I quietly prayed to my inspirations, asking to be guided to do the right thing. Suddenly, I heard myself saying, "Let's hold a minute of silence while holding each other’s hands."
It felt like a very long minute. I could hear a silent chorus emanating from every heart in the circle, "Loka samastha sukhino bhavantu." (May all creation abide in deep peace.)
Unstoppable tears flowed from this young man's eyes for the rest of the session.
As soon as the sharing ended and just before the circle broke for dinner, everyone lined up to give him an individual hug. For the rest of the evening, his cup overflowing with gratitude for each one.
I'm reminded of a quote Sheetal, (one of our community lights) often shares, "We're all just walking each other home."
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In my own way I practice this awakin daily wherever and with whomever. It requires the risk of vulnerability and availability in humility. It has become easier as I've gotten older and into my "second half", but the struggle to be "whole" remains for all of us.
Thank you for opening your home and heart. Indeed so many are carrying stories like this silent inside. Here's to always walking each other home.
PS> I had a similar experience while facilitating a workshop on we become the stories we tell and a homeless man wandered into the session as the front doors of our space were open to a courtyard. He wove his way to the front of the room, his Vietnam Vet baseball cap in his hands, his head down as he spoke, "I heard you sharing stories, I have a story. I'm sorry to interrupt you all. I'm homeless. I'm a Vietnam Vet. Im sorry to say I am drunk on alcohol right now. I just wanted to tell you a bit of my story. I'm sorry for interrupting. Our stories are important to tell." Then he shared part of a Rob McKuen poem and though I do not remember the words, I do remember it was heartfelt and deep.
I walked up to him and put my hand on his arm and thanked him for sharing his story and invited him to sit with us to join us in the workshop (what was left of it by that time) He thanked me for listening, he thanked the group and he apologized again for interrupting. I told him, no apologies necessary and he really could stay. He asked if anyone had a cigarette, my friend Dan got up and gently put his arm on this man's arm and pulled out a cigarette and walked him out the door.
About 30 minutes later we were sharing a pot of pasta and the homeless man came back in again apologizing. Again, I asked him to join us and he said yes. I made a plate of pasta for him and got him some tea. He sat and shared more of his life as a Vietnam Vet. He spoke to Dan who had offered him the cigarette. I asked if I could hug him, he said yes. Dan hugged him too and they went outside again to chat.
Here's to seeing each other and walking each other home. <3
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