I believe the paths of pain are taken by those who will masterfully teach others, on the other side of the pain, how to bear it as you have shown here dear Desmond and Mpho Tutu. It comforts me to think we chose those paths and the people on them before we came here to this sweet old world. Once here, we get to decide if we run from the lesson or learn it, and so predestination and free-will beautifully intertwine. My paths of pain began when I was only small. They included every form of cruelty and abuse that can be inflicted on a helpless child. Those who should have protected me didn't hear or believe my attempts to explain the horror. Instead of breaking free, I chose as an adult partners who re-created the chaos of my childhood. It took decades to get free mentally too. On the other side, I began to experience with profound gratitude the healing power of forgiveness. At least a dozen times a year, I set aside a few hours to open the drawers and take out something new to let go. (Beautiful metaphor, thank you for that!) Every single day I sit in meditation and in my mind (as I was "asked" to do ^) I send healing to those who hurt me. I used to see them all sitting in a circle, apart from me. But after a lifetime of self-inflicted pain and self-loathing, I one day walked into that circle too. Thank you for writing this beautiful essay on forgiveness. It affirms everything I have learned in this second half of my life. ♥
ORIGINAL COMMENT
I believe the paths of pain are taken by those who will masterfully teach others, on the other side of the pain, how to bear it as you have shown here dear Desmond and Mpho Tutu. It comforts me to think we chose those paths and the people on them before we came here to this sweet old world. Once here, we get to decide if we run from the lesson or learn it, and so predestination and free-will beautifully intertwine. My paths of pain began when I was only small. They included every form of cruelty and abuse that can be inflicted on a helpless child. Those who should have protected me didn't hear or believe my attempts to explain the horror. Instead of breaking free, I chose as an adult partners who re-created the chaos of my childhood. It took decades to get free mentally too. On the other side, I began to experience with profound gratitude the healing power of forgiveness. At least a dozen times a year, I set aside a few hours to open the drawers and take out something new to let go. (Beautiful metaphor, thank you for that!) Every single day I sit in meditation and in my mind (as I was "asked" to do ^) I send healing to those who hurt me. I used to see them all sitting in a circle, apart from me. But after a lifetime of self-inflicted pain and self-loathing, I one day walked into that circle too. Thank you for writing this beautiful essay on forgiveness. It affirms everything I have learned in this second half of my life. ♥