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The Hidden Joy of Waiting in Line

Americans spend an estimated 37 billion hours waiting in line each year, much to our individual and collective distaste. Few things inspire as much universal frustration and ire as long queues and lengthy wait times -- many of us even struggle to wait for a sluggish web browser to load.

In fact, according to computer scientist Ramesh Sitaraman, Internet users may be a particularly impatient bunch. His research has found that we're willing to be patient, on average, for two seconds while waiting for an online video to load.

“After five seconds, the abandonment rate is 25 percent," Sitaraman told the Boston Globe. "When you get to 10 seconds, half are gone.”

We want it all, and we want it now -- which is why we've created apps to zap as much wait-time as humanly possible from mundane daily tasks like food delivery, transportation and paying bills (and even arenas of greater import, like dating). We devour articles with time-saving "life hacks" to shave 30 seconds here and five minutes there off of the day's drudgery.

So why do we hate waiting so much? According to M.I.T. operations researcher and line expert Richard Larson, occupied time feels shorter than unoccupied time, so when we're standing in a long line or in a doctor's office waiting room, the time does feel as if it's dragging on. Waiting can provoke impatience, stress and anxiety, and in turn, anxiety also makes waits seem longer.

"The dominant cost of waiting is an emotional one: stress, boredom, that nagging sensation that one’s life is slipping away," Alex Stone wrote in the New York Times in 2012.

But while waiting in line may be, to some extent, innately annoying, there's no question that our lifestyles of constant busyness, multitasking, and information overload have made it even more difficult for us to tolerate idle time. And of course, mobile devices and wifi have made it possible to avoid idle time almost altogether. We've become accustomed to instant gratification, and any less-than-stimulating situation invites us to immediately whip out our phones in order to keep our brains occupied. This need for instant gratification and loss of patience is indeed a negative side effect of hyperconnectivity, according to Pew Center research.

Most of us would like to have more peace and stillness in our lives, and yet we don't make use of life's many daily opportunities to just be still and practice patience. No opportunity is better than when we're waiting -- when we so often whip out our phones and busy ourselves with texts, emails, Candy Crush, Spotify or Twitter. But what if we welcomed these idle, luxuriously long in-between moments as opportunities to simply wait?

In Japanese, there is a concept known as ma, which refers to a gap, pause or negative space between things. The term is generally used in the context of the zen aesthetic, but it's also a useful construct when it comes to how we think of spending our time. We can use life's inevitable waiting periods as moments of ma -- ways to create still points in our constantly turning worlds.

Next time you find yourself waiting in line, try making your wait a little more mindful, and see how it makes you feel. Once the twitch of your hand reaching down for your phone has stopped, you might actually enjoy a moment of relaxation.

Here are nine things to do while you're waiting that don't involve mindlessly checking your phone:

- Smile at a stranger

- Practice a "sights and sounds" meditation, clearing your thoughts and simply directing your full awareness the visual and auditory stimuli in your present environment.

- Let someone who's in a rush cut in front of you.

- Make a mental list of things you're grateful for.

- Take some deep breaths.

- Silently repeat a mantra for inner piece.

Daydream.

- Send a kind thought to someone you love.

- Read a book

This article is reprinted here with permission. More from the Huffington Post Good News Channel:

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13 PAST RESPONSES

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Dianne Jun 6, 2023
IN the past I noticed that if I closed my eyes I would almost immediately go to a peaceful place. I would listen to white noise or nature depending on where I was. I had learned transcendental meditation years ago and the idea is to let thoughts come and go and after a while there was just a kind of void and then peace
User avatar
Sister Marilyn May 31, 2023
I love this! So many chances to send silent blessings or verbal affirmation to others while waiting. My favorite opportunities are the post office line, the grocery line, and the traffic "long red light" line. My most challenging opportunities are the dreaded "on hold" lines; am still working on my attitude there....
User avatar
Paula Schneider May 31, 2023
My sweet husband, a Unity minister and observer of all things beautiful, crossed over in January. As I go back through his lessons, I am reminded often of how many times he used the example of standing in line in his lessons. He would say, "We always have a choice," and would advise students to use the time to remember that everyone in the store is a child of God and reflect on that and smile. When it was just the two of us standing in line, he would whisper in my ear, "This is a great opportunity for the two of us to be together." He also said the same thing when we waited in the car, either in heavy traffic, or while waiting for the light to change. These thoughts would usually bring me back to center. His wisdom was deep and profound, so now I listen for it in my quiet time, and when I have ears to hear, I hear. Now he is teaching and learning in the realms of higher consciousness. Remember, he says, you are a child of God, precious and whole at all times.
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Gabriela May 31, 2023
I find waiting in line a great time to practice saying my mantram. Time just disappears.
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Kristin Pedemonti May 31, 2023
PS. In the Before Times I sometimes would get out small bottles of bubbles and start blowing them while waiting in line at grocery store or doctors office waiting rooms and I would share lil bottles with people around me♡
Here's to the Japanese concept of Ma♡
User avatar
Kristin Pedemonti May 31, 2023
So much Yes to the value of idle time waiting and being present to the surroundings rather than glued to a screen in one's hand.
So many Human face to face moments can then unfold and ripple♡
User avatar
Robert Peruzzi May 31, 2023
Having a longer than usual wait this morning I whipped out my phone and read this nice article, as a start, planning to move on to reading some other posts. I'll go for ma instead for now.
Reply 1 reply: Joe
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Joe Hughes May 31, 2023
How is Detroit today, Rob?
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Love Happy Notes Jun 9, 2014

I've had some great conversations with 'strangers' while standing in line; wonderful stories of about their life, family, holidays...

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lwwarfel Jun 6, 2014

While waiting in line for the bathroom, my granddaughter organized a reading group for her preschool friends who were waiting with her. Now, she reads them a story while they're waiting!

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Kathleen Jun 6, 2014

I spend a lot of time at home, alone, so waiting in line gives me an opportunity to interact with others -- whether they want to or not :o) I end up talking to friendly people and have a good time "in line" (not the point of the article) but I remember one particularly long wait (10 mins?) and some people were getting testy. I remember saying to the woman I was speaking to, but I said it loudly, "In the grand scheme of things, if this is the worst thing that happens to us today, we are doing pretty well . . . Think about it. Some people have babies with cancer." And many people smiled at me and nodded, yes.

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Kristin Pedemonti Jun 6, 2014

Bravo! Here's to BEING! Enjoyed the tips, thank you. A bit of perspective too, though we feel like we wait a lot in the US, if one has traveled to anywhere in the developing world or even to other cultures where time is viewed differently, we hardly wait at all here. :)

Reply 1 reply: Dianne
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Dianne Jun 6, 2023
Also, it is suggested that the waiting moments can be spent in prayer or relections to god