This past November as I was driving home, I came to a familiar intersection where a homeless woman stood with a sign asking for help. I’d seen her numerous times before, but had always stopped short of giving. On this instance, I reached into my wallet and gave her my spare change, mostly pennies, amounting to no more than 15 cents.
As I handed it to her and double checked my car’s various compartments, I apologized that I didn’t have more to give. Instead of disappointment or agitation, she expressed deepfelt gratitude, and thanked me profusely. It didn’t matter whether it was a few pennies or a few dollars, she said. Every little bit helped.
During our brief exchange, she shared that her feet were hurting. It was evident that she wasn’t asking for anything more from me – she simply wanted someone to listen. And so I did.
As I drove away, the thought of our few minutes together warmed me to the core. She shook her head, in awe of this simple act, and I shook mine, in awe of her humble gratitude. I immediately wanted to gift her a new pair of shoes, but realizing this wasn’t feasible, I thought about giving her a warm pair of socks.
Upon further reflection, I quickly surmised that she wouldn’t be the only one struggling to keep warm this winter, and she certainly couldn’t be the only person whose feet were hurting.
A few days later, I emailed friends and family to share that I’d be leading a winter sock drive. I hung up a sign at work and reached out to neighbors. I set up donation bags and waited for pairs of two to trickle in, and gradually, they did.
Over the course of 8 weeks, I had collected 84 pairs of new winter socks and 8 pairs of gloves. I beamed at the two full shopping bags that had taken up residence in my closet and let my eager pup down gently that sadly, no, they weren’t for her.
Most of those who donated didn’t even know about the encounter that had prompted my 2-month-long collection. Some donated as many as 20 pairs. Many were patterned, others were plain. Two pairs were fuzzy, tied with a bow.
I stopped seeing the homeless woman at her usual intersection as the days grew colder. I hope she’s safe and warm and has a place to rest her feet occasionally. I’ve kept a spare pair of socks in my trunk for when I see her again, and hope to be able to tell her about the gift she helped give to so many others facing similar difficulties.
Even when we don’t realize it, our small acts add up. To those most in need, a kind smile and open ears can go a long way. To those who have everything, the same holds true.
No matter our circumstances, we each have the capacity to give and to receive: a thoughtful card, a homecooked meal, a deep belly laugh, a morning sunrise. Whether we have 15 cents or 15 dollars, our wealth needn’t define our impact or our potential.
Instead of just trying to “be more” this year, try to be more with less. How can you give more of your genuine, energized self and less of your overcommitted, exhausted self? How can you invest more in what you already own and less in what society tells you will make you complete? How can you share more of your talents and less of your self-perceived shortcomings?
Maybe it will take one conversation or maybe a few dozen. We don’t know where a simple “Thank you” will lead or the impact a thoughtful “How are you?” will have. Stop. Engage. Start where you are.
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Thank you for the thoughtful comments! It's a joy to be a part of such an engaging and open-hearted community.
Warm feet make such a difference and your choice to help others is commendable and easily copied. Thanks for the reminder that little actions can grow into something larger..
Thank you for seeing, listening and doing what you could in that moment and then beyond. And Yes to what Vicky Smith also states, we need to look at the bigger systems and ask how we can change those so that there aren't homeless in the first place. Ah, yes, to also do what we can, even if it seems small, it does make a difference... <3 Hugs from my heart to yours.
I love that Francis of Assisi is quoted here. When I volunteered at a local homeless center here in Sacramento called Francis House, we helped our outdoor neighbors get all sorts of practical help, but one of the greatest gifts we always gave was good, warm socks! }:- ❤️ anonemoose monk
I am on the board of a non-profit that gives out free stuff, including socks. As givers, we all feel good about giving but we're wondering if this is the best way to help others. So I've been doing some research. I just finished reading, Anand Giridharadas, Winners Take All: The Elite Charade of Changing the World. I'm pondering a few quotes that seem pertinent to this issue:
When help is moved into the private sphere, no matter how efficient we are told it is, the context of the helping is a relationship on inequality: the giver and taker, the helper and the helped, the donor and the recipient. When a society solves a problem politically and systematically, it is expressing the sense of the whole; it is speaking on behalf of every citizen. p262
“Why are there in the world so many people that you need to help in the first place? You should ask yourself: Have your actions contributed at all to that? Have you caused, through your actions, any harm? If yes, the fact that now you are helping some people, however effectively, doesn’t seem to be enough to compensate.” Chiara Cordelli, an Italian political philosopher at the University of Chicago.
[Hide Full Comment]Think of the person who seeks to “change the world” by doing what can be done within a bad system, but who is relatively silent about that system. Such a person, for Cordelli, is putting himself in the difficult moral position of the kindhearted slave master. p259