My word of the year is listen.
It’s one of those words whose meaning is in its music. Listen is a quiet word, that half swallowed L and diffident I and softly hissing S. It defies the clamorous words it absorbs, the words that have defined this year, the shouts and roars, the bray and bluster. Listening is hard when the sounds around us grow mean and ugly.
And listening takes particular courage in divisive times.
“Courage is not just about standing up for what you believe,” Doug Elmendorf tells his students at Harvard. “Sometimes courage is about sitting down and listening to what you may not initially believe.”
Which is not to say that if we all just listened more, our wounds would heal and our conflicts end. Nor does it mean abandoning our values; it’s a strategic reminder of the value of humility. “It’s always wise to seek the truth in our opponents’ error, and the error in our own truth,” theologian Reinhold Niebuhr said. Listening, closely and bravely, to an opposing view deepens our insight and sharpens our arguments—especially in our public life.
It’s long past time that we quiet our animal spirits. Our fierce public battles, political fights that have infected our friendships and family, have degraded our discourse, defaced institutions, disturbed our peace. I grew up in Quaker schools, which included regular silent meetings. This did not come naturally to nine-year-olds. But I found then, and need to be reminded now, that we can’t hear the soft, sane voice inside us if we’re talking all the time, and certainly not if we’re shouting.
Instead, let’s listen. Invite surprise. Invest in subtlety. And surrender to silence once in a while.
Excerpt above from here.
It’s one of those words whose meaning is in its music. Listen is a quiet word, that half swallowed L and diffident I and softly hissing S. It defies the clamorous words it absorbs, the words that have defined this year, the shouts and roars, the bray and bluster. Listening is hard when the sounds around us grow mean and ugly.
And listening takes particular courage in divisive times.
“Courage is not just about standing up for what you believe,” Doug Elmendorf tells his students at Harvard. “Sometimes courage is about sitting down and listening to what you may not initially believe.”
Which is not to say that if we all just listened more, our wounds would heal and our conflicts end. Nor does it mean abandoning our values; it’s a strategic reminder of the value of humility. “It’s always wise to seek the truth in our opponents’ error, and the error in our own truth,” theologian Reinhold Niebuhr said. Listening, closely and bravely, to an opposing view deepens our insight and sharpens our arguments—especially in our public life.
It’s long past time that we quiet our animal spirits. Our fierce public battles, political fights that have infected our friendships and family, have degraded our discourse, defaced institutions, disturbed our peace. I grew up in Quaker schools, which included regular silent meetings. This did not come naturally to nine-year-olds. But I found then, and need to be reminded now, that we can’t hear the soft, sane voice inside us if we’re talking all the time, and certainly not if we’re shouting.
Instead, let’s listen. Invite surprise. Invest in subtlety. And surrender to silence once in a while.
Excerpt above from here.
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Very many years past Dalai Lama advised, ‘Learn from your enemy/adversary’. What he meant was to listen to your enemy carefully, i.e. analyse and study his problem and know why he is saying or doing certain things. In another occasion he went a step further to say that we should to talk to Al-Kaida & Co., again meaning listening to them, which no security man on Globe in his proper senses would ever approve.
Listening is of two kinds: a) Aggressive Listening and b) Peaceful and peace-oriented & - intentioned Active Listening (contrasted with passive listening of a sermon or a talk). In the former, analytical intelligence is heavily employed to see what the enemy is like, with the sole intention to overcome/conquer/ruin him later. This type of listening is standard practice in politics and is no alternative to wisdom. It helps to escalate conflicts. In the latter, we use more intuitive intelligence to arrive at salutary solutions to real-time problems. Ultimately, the problem lies deeply-knotted in our Mind, which needs be cleansed of all negativities and substituted by positive thinking and that’s probably what the author has in mind. Regular Yoga & Meditation can help immensely to swing the Mind to the positive side through constant practice. That's my experience.
George Chakko, former U.N. correspondent, now retiree in Vienna, Austria.
[Hide Full Comment]Vienna, 06/01/2019 20:41 hrs CET
This post was lyrical throughout, evoking the power of the word listen. Nicely stated Nancy and a good reminder every day of how we need to examine our own 'truths' and beliefs as well as considering other people's viewpoints. Listening is empowering for each person, it's at the heart of learning, compassion, and kindness.
Yes. So much this. Timely, just yesterday a friend and I were speaking about the need to listen more. Thank you for eloquently stating why listening more is so needed in these divisive times. Hugs from my heart to yours, Kristin