«Прямо сейчас, и в каждый настоящий момент, вы либо закрываетесь, либо открываетесь. Вы либо напряженно ждете чего-то — больше денег, безопасности, любви — либо живете, руководствуясь глубиной своего сердца, открываясь всему моменту и отдавая то, что вам больше всего хочется дать, не дожидаясь».
~Дэвид Дейда
Давайте хотя бы на минутку перестанем отчаянно пытаться контролировать, планировать и обманывать себя, думая, что знаем то, чего не знаем? Вы тратите время на подготовку ко всем возможным сценариям и беспокойство обо всех негативных последствиях, которые могут вас постигнуть?
Мы так боимся отпустить ситуацию, просто быть, позволить этой чудесной жизни разворачиваться, не мешая ей. Этот страх парализует нас и держит в ловушке. И мы тоскуем по возможному покою – если бы только мы отказались от всех усилий, которые прилагаем для его познания.
Нет большего подарка, который вы можете сделать себе, чем приглашение войти в мир неведения.
Почему? Если вы всегда будете знать то, что знаете сейчас, всё всегда останется по-прежнему. Как это может измениться? И, думая, что знаете, что произойдёт, вы закрываете себя от невообразимого – бесконечного покоя, неописуемой радости, благоговения и удивления.
Если вы будете цепляться за то, что вам знакомо и комфортно, вы будете жить именно там. Пока не решитесь на смелый шаг и не позволите себе узнать, что вас ждет.
И вот что еще: вас устраивает привычная и комфортная обстановка? Если вы счастливы, ничего не поделаешь. Ура! Но если вам трудно общаться с людьми и справляться с эмоциями, если вас расстраивает, когда мир идет не по вашим планам, забудьте о том, что вам знакомо, и сделайте смелый, дерзкий шаг в неизвестность.
Как выбраться из тупика
Вот как выглядит незнание:
Вы просыпаетесь утром в выходной день без каких-либо планов и позволяете своему дню развиваться своим чередом.
Прекратите повторять своему партнеру одну и ту же непродуктивную фразу и забудьте о том, что произойдет дальше.
Вместо того чтобы устремиться к следующему занятию, вы садитесь и делаете глубокий вдох.
Вы ставите привычку на паузу, не зная, что сделаете или скажете дальше.
Вы отбрасываете свою рутину, чтобы следовать естественному ходу вещей.
Вы отпускаете фразу «Я должен…» и позволяете себе немного отдохнуть.
Вы говорите себе правду о мотивах, стоящих за вашими поступками, и смиряетесь с незнанием.
Вы забываете, кем себя считаете. Вместо того чтобы оставаться прежним, вы появляетесь свежим, новым и свободным от обременений.
Одна только мысль о любом из примеров в этом списке может заставить вас затаить дыхание. Как можно не иметь планов на целый день или отказаться от привычных дел?
Как забыть то, что знаешь
Сосредоточьтесь на мудрости незнания:
Вы созвучны истине о вещах такими, какие они есть.
Вы открываете для себя возможность освободиться от ограничивающих и болезненных привычек.
Вы живете в реальности, а не в созданной вашим разумом версии ложной реальности.
Вы здесь, живы, воплощены, доступны.
Затем, находясь в этом пространстве ваших самых сокровенных желаний, просто остановитесь. Наберитесь смелости позволить жизни разворачиваться. Отложите мысли в сторону и будьте восприимчивы к тому, что произойдет дальше. Это священный переход от действия к бытию.
Возможно, вы боитесь, что не сможете встать с постели весь день или в итоге превратитесь в слизняка на диване. Возможно, вы опасаетесь, что не сможете сдержать радость или любовь. Возможно, вы задаетесь вопросом, кардинально ли изменятся ваши жизненные обстоятельства.
Вполне естественно бояться отпустить то, что уже известно. Помните, что жизнь хочет, чтобы вы жили полной жизнью и выражали себя прекрасными и удивительными способами. Но вы не можете знать, какими именно.
Будьте готовы забыть всё, что вы знаете – о себе, о других и о том, как, по вашему мнению, устроен мир. Остановитесь, помолчите и подумайте, что вы не знаете. Возможно, вы обнаружите именно то, что искали всю свою жизнь.
Какой у вас опыт столкновения с неизвестностью? Страх мешает вам двигаться вперед? Мне бы очень хотелось это услышать…
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appreciate this read and see her perspective but largely disagree . Yes, there are moments, and a day here when one needs to take these considerations. Yet, isn’t this our natural state? I feel we’re natural inactive, and need goals, to-do lists, etc. when I assess a day s work at bedtime, I don’t feel good about doing nothing . I find value in looking for it and in trying to be valuable. I feel this advice is for those who enjoy examining / inspecting because it’s quite easy to live in the now, but I feel we should keep in mind the greater reality that ‘now’ creates memories and now weighs heavy because it’ll be remembered.
While an older article re-posted, it remains essential to our lives, especially in light of global pandemic and unrest. I love the banner quote from Feynman too, a commentary on fundamentalist religion? Perennial Truth and Wisdom instructs us to “surrender” to Divine LOVE rather than strive to know everything (impossible).
}:- a.m.
Wondering how this post lands for others given current context as we continue to navigate the global pandemic & layers of unknowns unlike many of us have ever experienced?
Contrast:
Pre-pandemic, as a Freelance Professional Storyteller who in 2005 had sold her home & possessions to create and facilitate a voluntary Literacy, I welcomed unknowns and lived and embraced them every single day.
Whether that was, upon invitations, traveling village to village on the back of pick-up trucks so I could share a workshop, or it was choosing to couchsurf in Ghana in 2013 or it was saying yes to an invitation from a woman I'd just met on a train to attend a food festival in a village in Italy... or it was simply not knowing when or where my next paid gig would be or where I would live (I've been mostly nomadic for 12 of the last 16 years).
Current:
Now we've had a global pandemic filled with unknowns like many of us have never experienced. It's a different world and not so simple. We've been through a global collective trauma. Daily Unknowns about what is safe or unsafe can feel more triggering to past trauma.
This is all to say, in our current world, what if we allow ourselves to be more gentle with ourselves and others about navigating the unknowns?
And what if it's also about honoring context? Each of us have different experiences with the unknown that influence how we view and respond to how we navigate.
Narrative Therapy practices have taught me so much about the value of acknowledging, honoring the many layers and always taking context into consideration.
As some of us are now slowly emerging may we be kind and compassionate with ourselves and each other.
With kindness,
[Hide Full Comment]Kristin
Great stuff. I have been experiencing this process recently. Especially with boredom and fear. In a myriad of ways, I have opportunities to practice this, but I have to pay attention.
Hi Gail. Thanks for this article. I have felt a lot of boredom this last year. I never felt boredom to this extent before. I am finding that when I drop any agenda or sense of knowing that the boredom dissappears. I am not judging as much whatever it is that I want to do or experience at any given moment even if it is something as mundane as cleaning the fridge. If that is truly what brings me alive in the moment, then that is what I do. This listening and following brings me more energy and flow. Sometimes I hear the internal and even external judgements about all the "exciting things" I should be doing at this moment or the "good things for me" I should be doing everyday. I am letting those voices just pass through me more and more. I long for more freedom, aliveness and authenticity. Thank you Gail!
Thanks for this wonderful article, Gail. I have recently reached a crossroads in my own life concerning my job, and a few matters of the heart concerning someone I'm deeply attracted to. Some of it I have been able to deal with, but it has been a process as opposed to being an instantaneous "there, I'm done" kind of thing. I have aspirations to further my education and move my life in a new direction, but I'm not sure how I'm going to make it all happen. I admit, when I look at the price tag, I wonder how I'm going to finance this new direction. I'm also really beginning to wonder if love has truly passed me by. I've realized I don't know any of these things for sure or what's going to happen, and I'm starting to become more and more okay with not knowing. The best I can do is keep my intentions front and centre and know they will happen somehow, and move forward with love and hope in my heart. I feel good about this new direction I've chosen, and maybe that's all I need for right now. Your article came along at just the right time ... truly a beautiful piece of writing. Thank you!
[Hide Full Comment]It is quite funny, this summer I was walking from my mountain cabin to the valley for my grocery shopping. On the path I was thinking too much, not enjoying the nice sunshine. So, I decided to 'drop everything i know, pretend I do not know anything!', then 'see what happens.' Well, I 'did', and it was nice, I felt like trying to eat some bark of a tree, which was not very edible.. but nonethless I found that out myself. The next was I walked and saw a spot with a view over the valley, that I never saw before. So I took off from my familiar road, and went out there, it felt so nice to just do some break from the routine.
Then, I looked down on the ground, and what do I see, but a plethora of strawberries, all around me
dozens and dozens of wild strawberries. I got excited and started to enjoy them, got down on my haunches to eat
, feeling the warm sun and hearing a whisper like the wind through the trees.
It felt so wonderful, tasting fresh strawberries from the wild! Then I wondered, whether the villagers from the valley underneath
me could possibly know about this spot? Well, I started to ponder that... when suddenly the whisper of the wind
got strong, and louder, and the hiss behind me made me turn, to see.
A bitersnake ! Shocked and scared, I jumped up, and ran down the track faster than in years, haha.
I have never been so close to a snakebite in my life, when I turrned to look, the first thing I saw, was it's
head being pulled back slowly for a stronger attack... just seconds later.
Well, that was that story, it was scary when it happened, but for sure something I told about in the village cafe when I arrived..brr
[Hide Full Comment]If your writing this article then you too must be desiring change in the world or the people around you, rather than going with the flow and being with how it and they are now ? And what is my desire when writing this comment ? To question the question just creates more and more questions , two mirrors opposite each other.
Embracing uncertainty has given me a sense of freedom in some areas of my life. But, in others, such as life purpose I find it hard to let go of the habit of trying to figure it all out before I take action. We have been taught to plan and prepare for the future. But, when I started comparing what I had planned with what actually happened; I realized most of the time things did not occur as I had planned or imagined. So, I decided to release myself, because the reality is no amount of planning is going change what happens next. I just have to live in a state of acceptance and move on from there.
Thank you this was a wonderful article. Accepting the "not-knowing" is something that I struggle with a lot. I've always been a control freak. And the slightest hint of not-knowing sends me into panic attacks. I find that I live in a constant state of distress and fear most of the time, and it's something that I'm working hard to overcome.
Quote: Right now, and in every now-moment, you are either closing or opening. You are either stressfully waiting for something – more money, security, affection – or you are living from your deep heart, opening as the entire moment, and giving what you most deeply desire to give, without waiting. (David Deida)
Gail: Just for a minute, can we please stop frantically trying to control, plan, and delude ourselves into thinking we know what we don’t know? Do you spend your time preparing for every possible outcome and worrying about all the negative consequences that could befall you?
BeiYin: I must be an advanced being, because I don't wait for something and I'm not frantically trying to control and I'm not trying to pretend to know what I don't know. I do not spend my time in worrying about what might happen, etc.
Gail: We are so afraid to let go, to just be, to allow the unfolding of this marvelous life without getting in the way. This fear keeps us paralyzed and stuck. And longing for the peace that is possible – if only we would put down all the efforts we make to know.
BeiYin: People are not just afraid to 'let go'. Indeed all are 'stuck', but it is not fear in the first place. People and probably whole humanity is 'stuck' because that is the state of evolution on this planet. It is the condition of a 'cocoon' that serves as a protection and in this state the individual can grow, even though stuck and limited within this 'cage' that does not yet allow to go beyond this form.
Gail: There is no greater gift you can give yourself than the invitation to enter the world of not knowing. Why? If you are always going to know what you know now, things will always stay the same. How could they change? And by thinking you know what will happen, you are closing yourself off to the unimaginable – endless peace, unspeakable joy, awe and wonder.
BeiYin: Yes, within this stuck form, what is the straitjacket of ones mindset, there is the urge to get out, the longing to be free, to experience of *flying*. So what happens and one can observe this lately more and more: There are showing up all kind of spiritual concepts, that give all kind of beautiful images. So then one can include these into ones self image and when dreaming within ones 'cocoon', that's the limited state of ones being in this moment, being trapped within the big scam of this society and so at the same time being trapped within ones own scam, then one can survive. Of course this is supporting ones fake reality, keeping one in the scam, but for the moment it helps to survive and one can feel a kind of 'endless peace, unspeakable joy and wonder. It perfectly completes ones fake reality...
Gail: If you cling to what is familiar and comfortable, that is where you will live. Until you decide to take the plunge and let yourself not know. And consider this: Is the familiar and comfortable working for you? If you are happy, there is nothing to be done. Yay! But if you struggle with people and emotions, if you are frustrated when the world doesn't go according to your plan, forget what you know and take a bold, brazen step into the unknown.
BeiYin: Gail, your intention is touching me. You are trying to wake people up with your advice, to bring them nearer to their *real being*, but I'm afraid this will not work. Yes, people are all frustrated, disappointed and accumulating constantly stress, - because their expectations how conditions and situations should be, are not fulfilled. But instead of giving them new beautiful concepts, that only can contribute to their fake reality, one should start there, where they are at this moment and giving them information, why they are in this desperate condition. Then, when they are ready, they will be able to see and understand their condition and what holds them in this limited state - and then they will ask the questions to bring them out of this. Before this, they will not be able to 'step into the unknown'.
Gail: Getting Unstuck. - Here is what 'not knowing' looks like:
You wake up on a weekend morning without any plans, and you let your day unfold.
You stop saying the same unproductive statement to your partner and let yourself not know what will happen next.
You sit and take a breath rather than propelling yourself forward into the next activity.
You press pause on a habit without knowing what you will do or say next.
You let your routine fall away so you can be guided by the natural flow of things.
You let go of, “I have to…” and let yourself rest for a moment.
You tell yourself the truth about the motivation behind the things you do, and surrender to not knowing.
You forget who you think you are. Instead of same old, same old, you show up fresh, new, and unencumbered.
Just contemplating any of the examples on this list may make you gasp for air. How could you have no plans for a whole day or stop carrying out familiar routines?
How to Forget What You Know:
Center yourself in the wisdom of not knowing:
You are aligned with the truth of things as they are.
You open to the possibility of freedom from habits that are limiting and painful.
You live in reality and not in your mind constructed version of a false reality.
You are here, alive, embodied, available.
Then, from this space of your truest desire, simply stop. Have the courage to let life unfold. Put the mind aside and be receptive to what happens next. This is the sacred shift from doing to being.
BeiYin: Gail, I like your intention to get people out of their established behavior and mindset, but I would be surprised if you tell me that this works! It seems to be impossible, that people can use your advice to go beyond their identifications with their self image, their established knowledge, their unconscious conditioning and so on. Even though people are suffering extremely, this still is not enough to make them question themselves. They use whatever they feel or think, even this is painful, for their need to be confirmed in their existence, even though this is fake.
Gail: Maybe you're afraid you won't get out of bed all day or you'll end up like a slug on the couch. Maybe you fear not being able to contain joy or love. Maybe you wonder if your life circumstances will change dramatically. It is natural to be afraid to let go of the known. Remember that life wants you to live fully and to express yourself in beautiful and amazing ways. But you can't know what they are.
Be willing to forget everything you know – about yourself, others, and the way you think the world works. Stop, be quiet, and don't know. You just might discover exactly what you have been looking for your whole life.
What is your experience with the unknown? Does fear keep you stuck? I'd love to hear…
BeiYin: Yes, I would like to hear about your experience with people when you gave these advises. Did it happen that there was some one who followed your suggestion and then could realize ones *real being*?
[Hide Full Comment]From my experience with people over more than fifty years, I can say that I haven't met not even one single person who went through the transformation of being stuck in a 'cocoon' and then was able to *fly*. I mean *really* and not just in dreams and ones fantasies.
Since nearly forty years I have created a space, where people can experience a different level of being... But it showed up, that they all just want to be confirmed in their spiritual concepts and their state of fake being, so beautiful these pictures might be! Nobody wants to hear about ways to get out of ones fake reality and scam.
I have been writing about this subject since more than twenty years and there have been hardly any response or questions showing up.
So I'm really interested to hear about your experiences... and of people here!
Excellent advice. The first step in cognition is 'Unconscious Incompetence' - not knowing what we don't know. In order to get to step 2, 'Conscious Incompetence' - knowing what we don't know, we must give ourselves the time and space to learn to become aware. Only then can we progress to steps 3 & 4. :)
There is much truth to that, but there is also the reality that when you enter the unknown, it's unimaginably worse. I have had enough of the unknown for 5 yrs...I'd like less chaos, more calm.