“此时此刻,在每一个当下,你都在要么封闭,要么敞开。你要么在焦虑地等待着什么——更多的金钱、安全感、爱——要么你在用心生活,敞开自己,拥抱当下,毫不犹豫地给予你内心最渴望给予的一切。”
大卫·戴达
我们能不能暂时停止这种疯狂的控制、计划和自欺欺人地认为自己知道我们不知道的事情?你是不是把时间都花在为每一种可能的结果做准备,并担心所有可能降临到你身上的负面后果上?
我们如此害怕放手,害怕顺其自然,害怕不去干预这美妙的人生。这种恐惧让我们动弹不得,停滞不前。我们渴望着那份本可获得的平静——只要我们放下所有追求认知的努力。
你能送给自己最好的礼物莫过于邀请自己进入未知的世界。
为什么?如果你总是知道你现在所知道的,那么事情就永远不会改变。它们怎么可能改变呢?而当你认为自己知道未来会发生什么时,你就把自己封闭起来,无法体验到那些难以想象的事物——无尽的平静、难以言喻的喜悦、敬畏和惊奇。
如果你执着于熟悉和舒适,你就会一直待在那里。直到你决定勇敢尝试,让自己体验未知。
再想想:熟悉和舒适的生活适合你吗?如果你感到快乐,那就没什么好做的了。太好了!但如果你难以应对人际关系和情绪,如果当世界不按你的计划发展时你感到沮丧,那就忘掉你所知道的一切,勇敢地迈出未知的一步吧。
摆脱困境
这就是无知的样子:
周末的早晨,你醒来没有任何计划,任由一天自然而然地展开。
你不再对伴侣说那些无益的话,也让自己不要去预知接下来会发生什么。
你坐下来深呼吸,而不是急于投入到下一个活动中。
你按下暂停键,停止某种习惯,却不知道接下来你会做什么或说什么。
你放下日常的习惯,顺其自然。
你放下“我必须……”的想法,让自己休息一会儿。
你要对自己所做事情背后的动机坦诚相告,并接受自己可能并不完全了解真相。
你会忘记你以为的自己是谁。你不再是老样子,而是焕然一新,轻装上阵。
光是想想这份清单上的任何一个例子,就足以让你倒吸一口凉气。你怎么能一整天都没有计划,或者停止进行熟悉的日常活动呢?
如何忘记你所知道的
让自己沉浸于未知的智慧之中:
你认同事物的真相。
你敞开心扉,迎接摆脱那些限制性和痛苦的习惯的可能性。
你生活在现实世界中,而不是你头脑中构建的虚假现实中。
你在这里,活着,有血有肉,随时可以联系到你。
然后,从你内心最真切的渴望出发,停下来。鼓起勇气,让生命自然展开。放下思绪,敞开心扉,接纳接下来发生的一切。这就是从“做”到“存在”的神圣转变。
或许你害怕自己一整天都起不了床,或者像条懒虫一样瘫在沙发上。或许你害怕自己无法抑制内心的喜悦或爱意。或许你担心自己的生活境遇会发生翻天覆地的变化。
害怕放弃已知事物是很自然的。记住,生命希望你活得淋漓尽致,以美好而奇妙的方式展现自我。但你无法预知这些方式究竟是什么。
愿意忘记你所知道的一切——关于你自己、关于他人,以及你对世界运行方式的固有认知。停下来,保持安静,放下成见。你或许会发现,你一生都在寻找的答案。
你对未知事物有何体验?恐惧是否让你裹足不前?我很想听听你的故事……
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appreciate this read and see her perspective but largely disagree . Yes, there are moments, and a day here when one needs to take these considerations. Yet, isn’t this our natural state? I feel we’re natural inactive, and need goals, to-do lists, etc. when I assess a day s work at bedtime, I don’t feel good about doing nothing . I find value in looking for it and in trying to be valuable. I feel this advice is for those who enjoy examining / inspecting because it’s quite easy to live in the now, but I feel we should keep in mind the greater reality that ‘now’ creates memories and now weighs heavy because it’ll be remembered.
While an older article re-posted, it remains essential to our lives, especially in light of global pandemic and unrest. I love the banner quote from Feynman too, a commentary on fundamentalist religion? Perennial Truth and Wisdom instructs us to “surrender” to Divine LOVE rather than strive to know everything (impossible).
}:- a.m.
Wondering how this post lands for others given current context as we continue to navigate the global pandemic & layers of unknowns unlike many of us have ever experienced?
Contrast:
Pre-pandemic, as a Freelance Professional Storyteller who in 2005 had sold her home & possessions to create and facilitate a voluntary Literacy, I welcomed unknowns and lived and embraced them every single day.
Whether that was, upon invitations, traveling village to village on the back of pick-up trucks so I could share a workshop, or it was choosing to couchsurf in Ghana in 2013 or it was saying yes to an invitation from a woman I'd just met on a train to attend a food festival in a village in Italy... or it was simply not knowing when or where my next paid gig would be or where I would live (I've been mostly nomadic for 12 of the last 16 years).
Current:
Now we've had a global pandemic filled with unknowns like many of us have never experienced. It's a different world and not so simple. We've been through a global collective trauma. Daily Unknowns about what is safe or unsafe can feel more triggering to past trauma.
This is all to say, in our current world, what if we allow ourselves to be more gentle with ourselves and others about navigating the unknowns?
And what if it's also about honoring context? Each of us have different experiences with the unknown that influence how we view and respond to how we navigate.
Narrative Therapy practices have taught me so much about the value of acknowledging, honoring the many layers and always taking context into consideration.
As some of us are now slowly emerging may we be kind and compassionate with ourselves and each other.
With kindness,
[Hide Full Comment]Kristin
Great stuff. I have been experiencing this process recently. Especially with boredom and fear. In a myriad of ways, I have opportunities to practice this, but I have to pay attention.
Hi Gail. Thanks for this article. I have felt a lot of boredom this last year. I never felt boredom to this extent before. I am finding that when I drop any agenda or sense of knowing that the boredom dissappears. I am not judging as much whatever it is that I want to do or experience at any given moment even if it is something as mundane as cleaning the fridge. If that is truly what brings me alive in the moment, then that is what I do. This listening and following brings me more energy and flow. Sometimes I hear the internal and even external judgements about all the "exciting things" I should be doing at this moment or the "good things for me" I should be doing everyday. I am letting those voices just pass through me more and more. I long for more freedom, aliveness and authenticity. Thank you Gail!
Thanks for this wonderful article, Gail. I have recently reached a crossroads in my own life concerning my job, and a few matters of the heart concerning someone I'm deeply attracted to. Some of it I have been able to deal with, but it has been a process as opposed to being an instantaneous "there, I'm done" kind of thing. I have aspirations to further my education and move my life in a new direction, but I'm not sure how I'm going to make it all happen. I admit, when I look at the price tag, I wonder how I'm going to finance this new direction. I'm also really beginning to wonder if love has truly passed me by. I've realized I don't know any of these things for sure or what's going to happen, and I'm starting to become more and more okay with not knowing. The best I can do is keep my intentions front and centre and know they will happen somehow, and move forward with love and hope in my heart. I feel good about this new direction I've chosen, and maybe that's all I need for right now. Your article came along at just the right time ... truly a beautiful piece of writing. Thank you!
[Hide Full Comment]It is quite funny, this summer I was walking from my mountain cabin to the valley for my grocery shopping. On the path I was thinking too much, not enjoying the nice sunshine. So, I decided to 'drop everything i know, pretend I do not know anything!', then 'see what happens.' Well, I 'did', and it was nice, I felt like trying to eat some bark of a tree, which was not very edible.. but nonethless I found that out myself. The next was I walked and saw a spot with a view over the valley, that I never saw before. So I took off from my familiar road, and went out there, it felt so nice to just do some break from the routine.
Then, I looked down on the ground, and what do I see, but a plethora of strawberries, all around me
dozens and dozens of wild strawberries. I got excited and started to enjoy them, got down on my haunches to eat
, feeling the warm sun and hearing a whisper like the wind through the trees.
It felt so wonderful, tasting fresh strawberries from the wild! Then I wondered, whether the villagers from the valley underneath
me could possibly know about this spot? Well, I started to ponder that... when suddenly the whisper of the wind
got strong, and louder, and the hiss behind me made me turn, to see.
A bitersnake ! Shocked and scared, I jumped up, and ran down the track faster than in years, haha.
I have never been so close to a snakebite in my life, when I turrned to look, the first thing I saw, was it's
head being pulled back slowly for a stronger attack... just seconds later.
Well, that was that story, it was scary when it happened, but for sure something I told about in the village cafe when I arrived..brr
[Hide Full Comment]If your writing this article then you too must be desiring change in the world or the people around you, rather than going with the flow and being with how it and they are now ? And what is my desire when writing this comment ? To question the question just creates more and more questions , two mirrors opposite each other.
Embracing uncertainty has given me a sense of freedom in some areas of my life. But, in others, such as life purpose I find it hard to let go of the habit of trying to figure it all out before I take action. We have been taught to plan and prepare for the future. But, when I started comparing what I had planned with what actually happened; I realized most of the time things did not occur as I had planned or imagined. So, I decided to release myself, because the reality is no amount of planning is going change what happens next. I just have to live in a state of acceptance and move on from there.
Thank you this was a wonderful article. Accepting the "not-knowing" is something that I struggle with a lot. I've always been a control freak. And the slightest hint of not-knowing sends me into panic attacks. I find that I live in a constant state of distress and fear most of the time, and it's something that I'm working hard to overcome.
Quote: Right now, and in every now-moment, you are either closing or opening. You are either stressfully waiting for something – more money, security, affection – or you are living from your deep heart, opening as the entire moment, and giving what you most deeply desire to give, without waiting. (David Deida)
Gail: Just for a minute, can we please stop frantically trying to control, plan, and delude ourselves into thinking we know what we don’t know? Do you spend your time preparing for every possible outcome and worrying about all the negative consequences that could befall you?
BeiYin: I must be an advanced being, because I don't wait for something and I'm not frantically trying to control and I'm not trying to pretend to know what I don't know. I do not spend my time in worrying about what might happen, etc.
Gail: We are so afraid to let go, to just be, to allow the unfolding of this marvelous life without getting in the way. This fear keeps us paralyzed and stuck. And longing for the peace that is possible – if only we would put down all the efforts we make to know.
BeiYin: People are not just afraid to 'let go'. Indeed all are 'stuck', but it is not fear in the first place. People and probably whole humanity is 'stuck' because that is the state of evolution on this planet. It is the condition of a 'cocoon' that serves as a protection and in this state the individual can grow, even though stuck and limited within this 'cage' that does not yet allow to go beyond this form.
Gail: There is no greater gift you can give yourself than the invitation to enter the world of not knowing. Why? If you are always going to know what you know now, things will always stay the same. How could they change? And by thinking you know what will happen, you are closing yourself off to the unimaginable – endless peace, unspeakable joy, awe and wonder.
BeiYin: Yes, within this stuck form, what is the straitjacket of ones mindset, there is the urge to get out, the longing to be free, to experience of *flying*. So what happens and one can observe this lately more and more: There are showing up all kind of spiritual concepts, that give all kind of beautiful images. So then one can include these into ones self image and when dreaming within ones 'cocoon', that's the limited state of ones being in this moment, being trapped within the big scam of this society and so at the same time being trapped within ones own scam, then one can survive. Of course this is supporting ones fake reality, keeping one in the scam, but for the moment it helps to survive and one can feel a kind of 'endless peace, unspeakable joy and wonder. It perfectly completes ones fake reality...
Gail: If you cling to what is familiar and comfortable, that is where you will live. Until you decide to take the plunge and let yourself not know. And consider this: Is the familiar and comfortable working for you? If you are happy, there is nothing to be done. Yay! But if you struggle with people and emotions, if you are frustrated when the world doesn't go according to your plan, forget what you know and take a bold, brazen step into the unknown.
BeiYin: Gail, your intention is touching me. You are trying to wake people up with your advice, to bring them nearer to their *real being*, but I'm afraid this will not work. Yes, people are all frustrated, disappointed and accumulating constantly stress, - because their expectations how conditions and situations should be, are not fulfilled. But instead of giving them new beautiful concepts, that only can contribute to their fake reality, one should start there, where they are at this moment and giving them information, why they are in this desperate condition. Then, when they are ready, they will be able to see and understand their condition and what holds them in this limited state - and then they will ask the questions to bring them out of this. Before this, they will not be able to 'step into the unknown'.
Gail: Getting Unstuck. - Here is what 'not knowing' looks like:
You wake up on a weekend morning without any plans, and you let your day unfold.
You stop saying the same unproductive statement to your partner and let yourself not know what will happen next.
You sit and take a breath rather than propelling yourself forward into the next activity.
You press pause on a habit without knowing what you will do or say next.
You let your routine fall away so you can be guided by the natural flow of things.
You let go of, “I have to…” and let yourself rest for a moment.
You tell yourself the truth about the motivation behind the things you do, and surrender to not knowing.
You forget who you think you are. Instead of same old, same old, you show up fresh, new, and unencumbered.
Just contemplating any of the examples on this list may make you gasp for air. How could you have no plans for a whole day or stop carrying out familiar routines?
How to Forget What You Know:
Center yourself in the wisdom of not knowing:
You are aligned with the truth of things as they are.
You open to the possibility of freedom from habits that are limiting and painful.
You live in reality and not in your mind constructed version of a false reality.
You are here, alive, embodied, available.
Then, from this space of your truest desire, simply stop. Have the courage to let life unfold. Put the mind aside and be receptive to what happens next. This is the sacred shift from doing to being.
BeiYin: Gail, I like your intention to get people out of their established behavior and mindset, but I would be surprised if you tell me that this works! It seems to be impossible, that people can use your advice to go beyond their identifications with their self image, their established knowledge, their unconscious conditioning and so on. Even though people are suffering extremely, this still is not enough to make them question themselves. They use whatever they feel or think, even this is painful, for their need to be confirmed in their existence, even though this is fake.
Gail: Maybe you're afraid you won't get out of bed all day or you'll end up like a slug on the couch. Maybe you fear not being able to contain joy or love. Maybe you wonder if your life circumstances will change dramatically. It is natural to be afraid to let go of the known. Remember that life wants you to live fully and to express yourself in beautiful and amazing ways. But you can't know what they are.
Be willing to forget everything you know – about yourself, others, and the way you think the world works. Stop, be quiet, and don't know. You just might discover exactly what you have been looking for your whole life.
What is your experience with the unknown? Does fear keep you stuck? I'd love to hear…
BeiYin: Yes, I would like to hear about your experience with people when you gave these advises. Did it happen that there was some one who followed your suggestion and then could realize ones *real being*?
[Hide Full Comment]From my experience with people over more than fifty years, I can say that I haven't met not even one single person who went through the transformation of being stuck in a 'cocoon' and then was able to *fly*. I mean *really* and not just in dreams and ones fantasies.
Since nearly forty years I have created a space, where people can experience a different level of being... But it showed up, that they all just want to be confirmed in their spiritual concepts and their state of fake being, so beautiful these pictures might be! Nobody wants to hear about ways to get out of ones fake reality and scam.
I have been writing about this subject since more than twenty years and there have been hardly any response or questions showing up.
So I'm really interested to hear about your experiences... and of people here!
Excellent advice. The first step in cognition is 'Unconscious Incompetence' - not knowing what we don't know. In order to get to step 2, 'Conscious Incompetence' - knowing what we don't know, we must give ourselves the time and space to learn to become aware. Only then can we progress to steps 3 & 4. :)
There is much truth to that, but there is also the reality that when you enter the unknown, it's unimaginably worse. I have had enough of the unknown for 5 yrs...I'd like less chaos, more calm.