הנה רשימה של 15 דברים שאם תוותרו עליהם, יהפכו את החיים שלכם ל-a
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הרבה יותר קל והרבה הרבה יותר שמח. אנחנו נאחזים בכל כך הרבה דברים שגורמים לנו להרבה מאוד כאב, מתח וסבל - ובמקום לשחרר את כולם, במקום לאפשר לעצמנו להיות חופשיים ומאושרים - אנחנו נאחזים בהם. לא עוד. החל מהיום נוותר על כל אותם דברים שכבר לא משרתים אותנו, ונאמץ את השינוי. מוּכָן? הנה אנחנו הולכים:
1. וותר על הצורך שלך להיות תמיד צודק. יש כל כך הרבה מאיתנו שלא יכולים לסבול את הרעיון לטעות – לרצות תמיד להיות צודקים – אפילו בסיכון לסיים מערכות יחסים נהדרות או לגרום למתח וכאב רב, עבורנו ועבור אחרים. זה פשוט לא שווה את זה. בכל פעם שאתה מרגיש צורך 'דחוף' לקפוץ לריב על מי צודק ומי טועה, שאל את עצמך את השאלה הזו: "האם אני מעדיף להיות צודק, או שהייתי מעדיף להיות אדיב?" וויין דייר. איזה הבדל זה יעשה? האגו שלך באמת כל כך גדול?
2. וותר על הצורך שלך בשליטה. היו מוכנים לוותר על הצורך שלכם לשלוט תמיד בכל מה שקורה לכם וסביבכם - מצבים, אירועים, אנשים וכו'. בין אם הם אהובים, עמיתים לעבודה או סתם זרים שאתם פוגשים ברחוב - פשוט תאפשרו להם להיות. אפשרו לכל דבר ולכולם להיות בדיוק כפי שהם ותראו עד כמה זה יגרום לכם להרגיש טוב יותר.
"על ידי לשחרר את זה הכל נעשה. העולם מנצח על ידי אלה ששחררו את זה. אבל כשאתה מנסה ומנסה. העולם הוא מעבר לניצחון." לאו דזה
3. לוותר על האשמה. וותר על הצורך שלך להאשים אחרים במה שיש לך או אין, במה שאתה מרגיש או לא מרגיש. תפסיק לתת את הכוחות שלך והתחיל לקחת אחריות על החיים שלך.
4. לוותר על הדיבור העצמי שלך שמביס את עצמו. אוי לי. כמה אנשים פוגעים בעצמם בגלל הלך הרוח השלילי, המזוהם וחוזר על עצמו שמביס את עצמו? אל תאמין לכל מה שהמוח שלך אומר לך - במיוחד אם זה שלילי ומביס את עצמו. אתה יותר טוב מזה.
"המוח הוא מכשיר מעולה אם משתמשים בו נכון. בשימוש לא נכון, עם זאת, הוא הופך להרסני מאוד." אקהרט טול
5. וותר על האמונות המגבילות שלך לגבי מה שאתה יכול או לא יכול לעשות, לגבי מה אפשרי או בלתי אפשרי. מעתה ואילך, אתה כבר לא מתכוון לאפשר לאמונות המגבילות שלך להשאיר אותך תקוע במקום הלא נכון. פרשו כנפיים ועפו!
"אמונה היא לא רעיון שמוחזק על ידי המוח, זה רעיון שמחזיק את המוח" אלי רוסל
6. לוותר על התלוננות. וותרו על הצורך הקבוע שלכם להתלונן על אותם דברים רבים, רבים, מזעזעים - אנשים, מצבים, אירועים שעושים אתכם אומללים, עצובים ומדוכאים. אף אחד לא יכול לגרום לך אומלל, שום מצב לא יכול לגרום לך להיות עצוב או אומלל אלא אם כן אתה מאפשר זאת. זה לא המצב שמעורר בך את הרגשות האלה, אלא איך אתה בוחר להסתכל על זה. לעולם אל תזלזל בכוחה של חשיבה חיובית.
7. לוותר על מותרות הביקורת. וותר על הצורך שלך לבקר דברים, אירועים או אנשים שונים ממך. כולנו שונים, ובכל זאת כולנו אותו דבר. כולנו רוצים להיות מאושרים, כולנו רוצים לאהוב ולהיות נאהבים וכולנו רוצים שיבינו אותנו. כולנו רוצים משהו, וכולנו מאחלים משהו.
8. וותר על הצורך שלך להרשים אחרים. תפסיק להתאמץ כל כך להיות משהו שאתה לא רק כדי לגרום לאחרים לחבב אותך. זה לא עובד ככה. ברגע שתפסיק להתאמץ כל כך להיות משהו שאתה לא, ברגע שאתה מוריד את כל המסכות שלך, ברגע שאתה מקבל ומחבק את עצמך האמיתי, תגלה שאנשים יימשכו אליך, ללא מאמץ.
9. וותר על ההתנגדות שלך לשינוי. שינוי זה טוב. שינוי יעזור לך לעבור מא' ל-B. שינוי יעזור לך לעשות שיפורים בחייך וגם בחיי הסובבים אותך. עקוב אחר האושר שלך, אמצו את השינוי - אל תתנגד לו.
"עקבו אחרי האושר שלכם והיקום יפתח לכם דלתות היכן שהיו רק חומות" ג'וזף קמפבל
10. לוותר על תוויות. תפסיקו לתייג את הדברים, האנשים או האירועים שאתם לא מבינים כמוזרים או שונים ונסו לפתוח את הראש, לאט לאט. מוחות עובדים רק כשהם פתוחים. "הצורה הגבוהה ביותר של בורות היא כשאתה דוחה משהו שאתה לא יודע עליו כלום." וויין דייר
11. לוותר על הפחדים שלך. פחד הוא רק אשליה, הוא לא קיים - אתה יצרת אותו. הכל בראש שלך. תקן את הפנים והחוץ ייפול למקומו.
"הדבר היחיד שאנחנו צריכים לפחד הוא הפחד עצמו." פרנקלין ד' רוזוולט
12. וותר על התירוצים שלך. שלח להם אריזה ותגיד להם שהם מפוטרים. אתה כבר לא צריך אותם. הרבה פעמים אנחנו מגבילים את עצמנו בגלל התירוצים הרבים שאנו משתמשים בהם. במקום לגדול ולעבוד על שיפור עצמנו ואת חיינו, אנחנו נתקעים, משקרים לעצמנו, משתמשים בכל מיני תירוצים - תירוצים ש-99.9% מהמקרים הם אפילו לא אמיתיים.
13. לוותר על העבר. אני יודע, אני יודע. זה קשה. במיוחד כשהעבר נראה הרבה יותר טוב מההווה והעתיד נראה כל כך מפחיד, אבל אתה צריך לקחת בחשבון את העובדה שהרגע הנוכחי הוא כל מה שיש לך וכל מה שיהיה לך אי פעם. העבר שאתה מייחל לו כעת - העבר שאתה חולם עליו כעת - התעלם ממך כשהוא היה נוכח. תפסיק להשלות את עצמך. היו נוכחים בכל מה שאתם עושים ותהנו מהחיים. אחרי הכל החיים הם מסע לא יעד. יש חזון ברור לעתיד, הכינו את עצמכם, אבל תמיד היו נוכחים בהווה.
14. לוותר על היקשרות. זה מושג שעבור רובנו כל כך קשה לתפוס ואני חייב להגיד לך שזה היה גם בשבילי (זה עדיין) אבל זה לא משהו בלתי אפשרי. אתה משתפר יותר ויותר עם הזמן והתרגול. ברגע שאתה מתנתק מכל הדברים, (וזה לא אומר שאתה מוותר על אהבתך אליהם - כי לאהבה ולהיקשרות אין שום קשר זה עם זה, ההתקשרות מגיעה ממקום של פחד, בעוד אהבה... ובכן, אהבה אמיתית היא טהורה, אדיבה ופחות עצמית, במקום שיש אהבה לא יכול להיות פחד, ובגלל זה, היקשרות ואהבה לא יכולים להתקיים יחדיו), כדי להיות כל כך שליו, נדיב כל כך. אתה תגיע למקום שבו תוכל להבין את כל הדברים אפילו בלי לנסות. מצב מעבר למילים.
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15. וותר על לחיות את חייך לציפיות של אנשים אחרים. יותר מדי אנשים חיים חיים שהם לא שלהם לחיות. הם חיים את חייהם לפי מה שאחרים חושבים שהוא הכי טוב עבורם, הם חיים את חייהם לפי מה שההורים שלהם חושבים שהכי מתאים להם, לפי מה שחבריהם, אויביהם והמורים שלהם, הממשלה שלהם והתקשורת חושבים שהוא הכי טוב עבורם. הם מתעלמים מהקול הפנימי שלהם, מהקריאה הפנימית הזו. הם כל כך עסוקים בריצות את כולם, בעמידה בציפיות של אנשים אחרים, שהם מאבדים שליטה על חייהם. הם שוכחים מה משמח אותם, מה הם רוצים, מה הם צריכים... ובסופו של דבר הם שוכחים מעצמם. יש לך חיים אחד - זה כרגע - אתה חייב לחיות אותם, להחזיק בהם, ובמיוחד אל תיתן לדעות של אחרים להסיח את דעתך מהדרך שלך.
COMMUNITY REFLECTIONS
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53 PAST RESPONSES
How can I live my own life if somebody else depends on me 100%. I cannot feel fine giving upy life to live my mother's. I'm sorry
I'm ok with that.
Bullshit,
very effective.
This is working a 12 Step Program. Yes! It works. :)
thank you so much! Yes, life is full of conflicts. How much of the conflict is a product of one's own re-construction and how much of it is actual?
When we study it deeply, we realize that conflicts are products of our reaction to a situation. Quite like the way we don't see gulping down a chicken nugget or plucking an apple as a conflict zone although we don't see the pain or harm caused to them as a result of our cautions, similarly let's look at social or political violence as witnessed by the media from a certain distance. In short, happiness comes from our ability to provide help and ways to live one's lives with dignity and self-sustenance. Since we have seen traditional state-driven ways of welfare as autocratic and demeaning, we have strangely chosen to call these basic but fundamentally 'human' ways as 'alternative'.
An all round excellent article ...! We can do it; pick one and start!
Its not that complicated people . Take bits and pieces you agree with and put the rest on a shelf . Those critizing thats your mind moving beautiful now enjoy life.....if you want to.
thankyou so much for this wonderful article,but it is some hard to follow it oterwise it is excellent ways to find happiness.
great writing and really inspiring :)
Excellent article. These items are subtle and when you connect with them, you know. Although rational, they don't operate on a rational level, but on something very subtle, precious, powerful, and intuitive. I'm now looking at the doggie and the monkey picture, thinking, "Oh, no, it's that monkey again. Think positive thoughts. Yes, that's my nose. Think positive thoughts."
If this article doesn't make sense, you have taken the depth out of it.. it's perfectly written for those who are wiling to let go and let God.. being young and suffering death, trauma, and despair gives you the strength to pick up the pieces, put them back together, and live life everyday like it is your last... if you know when your last day is, good luck making it awesome.
I agree with all of these, but from my experience it has taken a lot of "work" with the help of a 12-step program and professional counseling to be able to not only mentally agree, but to have the resources to actually know "how" to give up these things. Without resources, no matter how much I might "want" to give these things up, I had no clue "how" to do it. So if you have an opportunity to work a 12-step program, I highly recommend it.
There are a lot of comments as to whether this advice is realistic and whether all or some of the advice is in fact good advice ... How about this - just pick ONE thing that you agree with, and where you kinda know you need to make a change in your life - and do that ... and see what happens.
This is excellent!
Great list.
This is a great article. It's a perfect reminder of being mindful.
Brilliant
Lol. I'm pretty sure the author doesn't care about these comments anyways....cause she is not looking for agreement or trying to impress the readers. :)
Wow ... just what I needed today. When someone close to you passed away, you know how true these words really are. Ask me. I know. Thank you for sharing it with us.
Agree with Jk - I do think that the basic ideas are sound, however presenting them from the perspective of what a person "Should Give Up" is certainly coming from an omniscient viewpoint and is not an especially effective sales technique for the process. Other items like "Giving up the past" might be more useful as "learn from the past", and "Giving up living your life to other people's expectations" - well perhaps there are some people in our lives whose expectations are legitimate. Sometimes I'd much RATHER go on a cruise with a 25 year old, muscular, wealthy stud than cook, clean, organize, work and listen to my family's problems, but that's part of the deal - GIVE and take. I think Jk said it better though - thanks JK!
I believe there are a lot of nay-sayers out there, just waiting to shoot down someone's ideas on how to find happiness!! There are a lot people in the world who go around depressed and sad, that's all they see, that' s all they live. If this article can help just one of those people find happiness then it is a success!!
That is true. It is that God words can bring some good. Please send me some links of text I have one but didn't open. Time is just running very fast already it is a morning.
I didn't complete some grass I was having and I didn't sleep well yesterday.
every problem has some solutions I believe but sometimes problems pile up. That is why am in this slum..just doing what I feel like and sclerosis is disturbing.
Thank you for the advice
You know life is simple but we all complicate it. Yes, God is watching us make some messes in our lives and He is watching us do some good. That is why we are gifted among His creations with a brain that has an ego living in it. When we listen too hard to our ego and not enough to our God, that is when we mess up.
He is always there, to hear, and to watch our lives unfolding. He gave us the control button to find His Wisdom and use it for better. Gosh, let us all hope we can be humble enough to read God's words, hear God's words, and act out God's message. It is all He can hope for. He hopes we at least try, but sometimes
we won't try. There is that ego, telling you you aren't good enough. Yes you are. God said so. I once went through a depressed era in my life and I was searching to hear God's words of Wisdom. My boss, handed me a small flyer that said "God Does Not Make Junk". God spoke to me that day and lifted me out of the dark place I thought I was in. We put ourselves in places just like little children and then get scared trying to find our way out.
15 Ways (what to give up to be happy, or the 10 Commandments of God. Either way, He set the rules for making our lives moving toward perfection. If only we would read them carefully and live that way. The moral of His story for us, is to always look into yourself and see who you are, and do not spend one moment of your lifetime, judging others. That is God's job. Unless you want to fire Him.
[Hide Full Comment]Doing 15 things is not a must. and the dailymistrust you wrote today that goes as far as 2009 is taker more than serious. I really can't even remember what was written. I tell you take those things less than they may look. because I may not man and I should not get hurt what I didn't mean. also am finding very hard to live happy life naturally so please and please don't send me something aimed to cause fear.
I respect people and if you think I didn't respect you, you can ask where such thing happened and I explain or I apologize. There is nothing in 2009 that can bring me death. What you need to read are the two letters of the two groups. But if you don't get all and you just come for my damned pleasure it can be bad.
That is that and I don't like what causes me fear and unpleasant stories.
Thank you.
I'm unable to NOT do something (think about it), so I've written this response, point-by-point: Do 15 Things to Make Your Life Better. (please go to DeborahMagid at Wordpress dot com to see "Do 15 Things to Make Your Life Better")
# 16: using the word "should". It's proven to meet resistance...lol
Joanne, they everyday admit craps because they too are craps. that is why they regret after sometime is like driving left.
@8424532e564f7c2520f82062fc9a9380:disqus
life is finding happiness and happiness is in common places e.g. workplace, schools, libraries and even in stores. it is how one enjoys environs.
Yes, pleasure like me pleasure comes after helping people and sometimes hurting if they ask me and tell me they want to be hurt. In other words I get pleasure when I do what people want. 89% are my innate abilities and only technology is only 8% overall. And my customers come to beat me when I sleep. There is no week, I am left unbeaten.
I remember when a family accused me of burying two humans. I denied.
Because my father lost 4 of his sons to graves and another son to mentality.
Only me he's got now and am sane because of dr's sperms and tools.
My father requested compensation of only one son and promised to forgive the rest.
No one paid him as little as one camel and he forgave but I can't till I meet my brothers in the graves or I fully revenge. So far, an amount equivalent 10 camels was collected. Leave alone average boss to solve this internal even 150 Countries around the world completely failed to understand the easiest fuck of how terrorists are getting funds.
anyone who thinks will be thanked for disabling the store is boneheaded because debtors don't thank average bosses. Contributors drag and humiliate sons who are my be brothers of other peoples'. It is better to accept the respect of the creditor and leave traumas and conflict cultures alone. The average boss was may be a teen when these problems took off. Britishian writer said "consult the wise and honor the old"
[Hide Full Comment]BEST ADVICE I'VE EVER READ
This is so American. Load of utter 'positive people makes positive lives' fake christian bullshit.
Put it this way, take 2 for example:Give up complaining. This to me just reads like 'become a walk over'. If we all gave up complaining, nothing great would get done or crap would be accepted. Go into a hairdressers, get a shit haircut for $100. Don't complain because you are a happy, pissed-off with your shit haircut, person who's just been taken for a ride. Give up the luxury of criticism. For a start it's not a luxury. You can be critical if you want. I believe it is a trait that I enjoy. Why? Many people are idiots. It's the truth. If you are in a job and you don't criticise people who do crap work then you'll have an office/workplace full of people who can't do their job.These are basic personality traits of intelligent people. But I guess retards are happier than all of us.
Okay..but is life all about finding happiness? You say life is a route not a destination..seems to me the aim here is to be stuck in a "happy here and now" realm and let the time pass without your participation in its flow...of course some things are true, but no-one can claim all is truth and wisdom. Also, some tips include a certain level of egoism..what about happiness from making others happy - ignored here..giving up the past ok..but shouldn't we learn from past also? Giving up living life to other people expectations - sound ok to a degree..but what is you live your life in a way that hurt and harm others? Very few of us are intrinsically conflict-less with others..shouldn't we also look for compromise between expectations? There is no way we can live in a sterile one-person-bubble-world... everything we do influences others. Maybe finding the right way to co-exist instead of looking for your very own world of your own life would be better?
I didn't sleep yesterday night and yesterday itself. 30minutes before I closed my eyes a woman called me with strange number and told me same thing a man told me 3 days ago. Two of them came and beat me asleep I dreamed that. Today I took anti-tension and fear tablets so am ok.
So when David wrote short answers I thought there was problem with daily good. It is now am getting his message. Well, here it is not $100 it is cheaper and it is very interesting. I have seen it some places but I prefer formal because those say that are not healthy.
Thanks for the social Entertainments
@david, what we know is that what I write here is not sarcastic and if it seems is not meant to be. So Davis, What does it mean breathe in/out with 100$/
15things are not useless. When we come to changing entire life, it doesn't change one day or one week perhaps it is a process and it depends how one commits and what causes from Z to A or A to Z. I understand these 15 are very encouraging and real that one needs to live a good and meaningful life. Number 6, Dana, put it easy way where my stupid experience contradicts as it says "give attention to problems."
For attachments as basic human, it is right though I had been to that I only saw contentments, coolness, calmness and feelings that were never true or there. So should I stay contented while I am not. Your places may be is that but here things are very different and I have to do what I can and leave what I can't. Yes, the 15 are very great. it is self-awareness. thank you all
Q: are we there yet? A: There is no there- only here.
Q: What time is it? A; Now?
Q: Why do you give cryptic answers? A: Why do you ask questions? Breathe in, breathe out.
That will be $100 please.
Wow what a great Tips for Happiness.
These suggestions, while coming from a place of sincerity, I'm sure, are so glib as to be almost useless. Any person for whom these are true impediments to happiness is asked to do nothing short of change their entire personality. Maybe this is right, but 1300 words and 15 vague aphorisms that all say generally the same thing (If you want to be more happy, just be happy!) are not a serious tool for positive life changes.
@2b7bdc96f65d5ef2f5eaa7b4b78afb14:disqus It is a feeling that is there but it has got no good. Sometimes people stuck in it and can't get out of it. I hate it most. Like when last night a caller took my pleasure, I was in a different feeling 5 hours. trying to know what he talked and how real he could be and how long it can take. 5 hours I didn't know I was thinking one caller's plan. We have to be happy and effective and efficient in life
Thank you for sharing - I had a wow moment reading this - asked Father God about worshipping Him in unity - He gave me the answer as I was reading your writing. God bless you.
woooooooooooow...u just made my day..my life...u made a change in perception..thank you is not enough :))
Good Article.. Yes, we have to stop living to other people expectation. And giving up on attachment i shard for me to understand too..
Thanks for sharing...
After reading it twice, i feel like to read once more, it is so simple to be happy and if practices well happiness will be forever.excellent articles for those who are pain, just like me. thanks a lot.
15 wonderful points, all pointing in a really healthful direction! It seems like a lot of overwhelming, hard work but just having the willingness to give these up, to let go, is all that's needed :)
Self-awareness brings you back to the present moment - when I'm convinced I should be somewhere else or shouldn't be feeling how I'm feeling, it helps me to remember that I am exactly where I am meant to be...http://iaminthismoment.com/
Articulate oneself. It is very good. I lived this way 8 years ago. What I understood is that when one lives this way is when one has everything but when you need some people's help or support you can't. It can't be enough good to attend workstation with short trouser and a vest. I don't control people or I don't care who is that way or this way. Sometimes in towns I impress people by surprising them and I don't wait to see their judgments because they don't know me but neighbors I do a lot so that they respect me. People who know me call me a very moral person but am not very good because I sometimes tell someones 'I have scar in my ass.' They then feel am very rude not knowing am just playing with their feelings. I do a lot of things for fun but really am very polite. I feel myself when am alone or am with people I trust. This is because a number of people are harmful and if you trust they can hurt you badly.My mood changes every 4 hours depending on who am dealing. One caller can tell me he knows my accounts then knowing how hard I had been saving, can I remain cool? I have to think a way out because the account is may be very secret. So really, Life is how we live and it is better to please those that we love or care. if your daughter tells you to accompany to swimming pool as a request, and you are reading a novel. would you ignore? I try all I can to please people but I also take my time in my store and look a doorman.
Anyway, It is great to have these tips
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Much easier said than done:) It is okay to feel sad and not be happy too. This sometimes is part of the process of getting beyond your situation you just can not get stuck there.
Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. I am forwarding this to as many people as possible. These are truly the keys to happiness.!
Thank you so much for this beautiful article. It sounds so simple and yet we fail to practice it. Yes we all are in charge of our own happiness. I read the quote below long time ago during my teen years which has sat with me all these years and I often remind myself at times when I am frustrated or angry or whenever negative emotions take me over
"Happiest of the people don't have best of everything; they just make most of everything they have."
Really wonderful and useful message, but so hard to practice..... We know life is a journey, but what to do if past moves on leaving unforgettable memories into us......
sandhya.m.s.
Very true and it is very very difficult to practice. Anyways, it is better to try and take the 1st step forward. Thanks for opening up. V