다음은 당신이 포기한다면 당신의 삶을 더 나은 곳으로 만들어 줄 15가지 일들의 목록입니다.
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훨씬 더 쉽고 훨씬 더 행복해졌습니다. 우리는 우리에게 엄청난 고통, 스트레스, 괴로움을 안겨주는 수많은 것들에 매달리고 있습니다. 그리고 그것들을 모두 놓아주고, 스트레스 없이 행복해지기는커녕, 그것들에 매달리고 있습니다. 하지만 더 이상은 아닙니다. 오늘부터 우리는 더 이상 우리에게 도움이 되지 않는 모든 것을 포기하고 변화를 받아들일 것입니다. 준비되셨나요? 자, 시작합니다.
1. 항상 옳아야 한다는 생각을 버리세요. 우리 중 많은 사람들이 틀렸다는 생각, 즉 항상 옳고자 한다는 생각을 참을 수 없습니다. 좋은 관계를 끝내거나 자신과 타인에게 큰 스트레스와 고통을 안겨줄 위험을 감수하더라도 말입니다. 그럴 가치가 없습니다. 누가 옳고 그른지 놓고 다투고 싶은 '긴박한' 욕구가 느껴질 때마다 스스로에게 이렇게 질문해 보세요. "나는 옳을 것인가, 아니면 친절할 것인가?" - 웨인 다이어. 그런다고 무슨 차이가 생기겠습니까? 당신의 자존심이 정말 그렇게 큰가요?
2. 통제하려는 욕구를 버리세요. 자신과 주변에서 일어나는 모든 일, 상황, 사건, 사람 등 모든 것을 항상 통제하려는 욕구를 기꺼이 버리세요. 사랑하는 사람이든, 직장 동료든, 아니면 길에서 만난 낯선 사람이든, 그냥 있는 그대로를 허용하세요. 모든 것과 모든 사람을 있는 그대로 받아들이면 기분이 얼마나 좋아지는지 알게 될 것입니다.
"내버려 두면 모든 게 이루어진다. 세상은 내버려 두는 자에게 승리한다. 하지만 계속 노력하면 세상은 승리할 수 없다." 노자
3. 탓하기를 포기하세요. 자신이 가진 것, 가지지 못한 것, 자신이 느끼는 것, 느끼지 못하는 것에 대해 남을 탓하려는 욕구를 버리세요. 자신의 힘을 내어주는 것을 멈추고, 자신의 삶에 대한 책임을 지기 시작하세요.
4. 자기파괴적인 자기말을 버리세요. 세상에. 얼마나 많은 사람들이 부정적이고 오염되고 반복적인 자기파괴적 사고방식 때문에 스스로에게 해를 끼치고 있을까요? 마음이 말하는 모든 것을 믿지 마세요. 특히 부정적이고 자기파괴적인 말이라면 더욱 그렇습니다. 당신은 그런 것보다 훨씬 낫습니다.
"마음은 올바르게 사용하면 훌륭한 도구입니다. 그러나 잘못 사용하면 매우 파괴적입니다." - 에크하르트 톨레
5. 무엇을 할 수 있고 할 수 없는지, 무엇이 가능하고 불가능한지에 대한 제한적인 믿음을 버리세요 . 이제부터는 제한적인 믿음 때문에 잘못된 곳에 갇혀 있지 않을 것입니다. 날개를 펼치고 날아오르세요!
"믿음은 마음에 담긴 생각이 아니라 마음을 담고 있는 생각입니다." 엘리 로젤
6. 불평을 포기하세요. 당신을 불행하고 슬프고 우울하게 만드는 사람, 상황, 사건 등 수많은 것들에 대해 끊임없이 불평하고 싶은 마음을 버리세요. 당신이 허락하지 않는 한, 아무도 당신을 불행하게 만들 수 없고, 어떤 상황도 당신을 슬프거나 비참하게 만들 수 없습니다. 당신 안의 그런 감정을 촉발하는 것은 상황이 아니라, 당신이 그 상황을 어떻게 바라보느냐입니다. 긍정적인 사고의 힘을 절대 과소평가하지 마세요.
7. 비판이라는 사치를 버리세요. 자신과 다른 사물, 사건, 사람을 비판하려는 욕구를 버리세요. 우리는 모두 다르지만, 모두 똑같습니다. 우리 모두 행복하고 싶어 하고, 사랑하고 사랑받고 싶어 하며, 이해받고 싶어 합니다. 우리 모두는 무언가를 원하고, 우리 모두는 무언가를 바라고 있습니다.
8. 다른 사람들에게 좋은 인상을 남기려는 욕구를 버리세요. 단지 다른 사람들이 당신을 좋아하게 하려고 애쓰지 마세요. 그렇게 되지 않습니다. 당신이 아닌 다른 사람이 되려고 애쓰는 것을 멈추는 순간, 모든 가면을 벗는 순간, 진정한 당신을 받아들이고 포용하는 순간, 사람들이 당신에게 쉽게 이끌리는 것을 알게 될 것입니다.
9. 변화에 대한 저항을 버리세요. 변화는 좋은 것입니다. 변화는 당신이 A에서 B로 나아가는 데 도움이 될 것입니다. 변화는 당신의 삶과 주변 사람들의 삶을 개선하는 데 도움이 될 것입니다. 당신의 행복을 따르고, 변화를 받아들이세요. 저항하지 마세요.
"당신의 행복을 따르세요. 그러면 우주가 벽만 있던 곳에 문을 열어줄 것입니다." 조셉 캠벨
10. 꼬리표를 붙이지 마세요. 이해하지 못하는 사물, 사람, 사건에 이상하거나 다르다고 꼬리표를 붙이는 것을 멈추고, 조금씩 마음을 열어 보세요. 마음은 열려 있을 때만 작동합니다. "가장 극한의 무지는 아무것도 모르는 것을 거부하는 것입니다." 웨인 다이어
11. 두려움을 포기하세요. 두려움은 환상일 뿐, 존재하지 않습니다. 당신이 만들어낸 것입니다. 모두 당신의 마음 속에 있습니다. 내면을 바로잡으면 외면도 제자리를 찾을 것입니다.
"우리가 두려워해야 할 것은 두려움 그 자체뿐입니다." 프랭클린 D. 루즈벨트
12. 핑계를 버리세요. 그들을 쫓아내고 해고했다고 말하세요. 더 이상 핑계가 필요 없습니다. 우리는 핑계가 너무 많아서 스스로를 제한하는 경우가 많습니다. 성장하고 자신과 삶을 개선하기 위해 노력하는 대신, 우리는 스스로에게 거짓말을 하고 온갖 핑계를 대며 꼼짝 못하게 됩니다. 99.9%는 진짜가 아닌 핑계입니다.
13. 과거를 포기하세요. 알아요, 알아요. 정말 어렵죠. 특히 과거가 현재보다 훨씬 더 좋아 보이고 미래가 두려울 때는 더욱 그렇습니다. 하지만 지금 이 순간이 당신이 가진 전부이며 앞으로도 영원히 가질 수 있는 전부라는 사실을 명심해야 합니다. 지금 당신이 갈망하는 과거, 지금 꿈꾸는 과거는, 그것이 존재했을 때 당신은 무시했던 것입니다. 자신을 속이지 마세요. 당신이 하는 모든 일에 현재를 충실히 지키고 삶을 즐기세요. 결국 인생은 목적지가 아니라 여정입니다. 미래에 대한 명확한 비전을 갖고, 스스로를 준비하되, 항상 지금 이 순간에 충실하세요.
14. 집착을 버리세요. 이 개념은 우리 대부분에게 너무나 이해하기 어렵고, 저도 그랬다고 말씀드리고 싶습니다(지금도 그렇습니다). 하지만 불가능한 것은 아닙니다. 시간과 연습을 통해 점점 더 나아질 것입니다. 모든 것에서 자신을 분리하는 순간 (그리고 그것이 사랑을 포기한다는 뜻은 아닙니다. 사랑과 집착은 서로 아무런 상관이 없기 때문입니다. 집착은 두려움에서 비롯되지만, 사랑은… 음, 진정한 사랑은 순수하고 친절하며 사심이 없습니다. 사랑이 있는 곳에 두려움은 있을 수 없고, 그렇기 때문에 집착과 사랑은 공존할 수 없습니다) 당신은 매우 평화롭고, 관대하고, 친절하고, 고요해집니다. 노력하지 않고도 모든 것을 이해할 수 있는 경지에 도달할 것입니다. 말로 표현할 수 없는 경지입니다.
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15. 다른 사람들의 기대에 맞춰 사는 것을 포기하세요. 너무나 많은 사람들이 자신에게 맞지 않는 삶을 살고 있습니다. 다른 사람들이 자신에게 최선이라고 생각하는 것에 따라, 부모님이 자신에게 최선이라고 생각하는 것에 따라, 친구, 적, 선생님, 정부, 언론이 자신에게 최선이라고 생각하는 것에 따라 살아갑니다. 그들은 내면의 목소리, 내면의 부름을 무시합니다. 모든 사람을 기쁘게 하고 다른 사람들의 기대에 부응하는 데 너무 바빠서 자신의 삶에 대한 통제력을 잃어버립니다. 무엇이 자신을 행복하게 하는지, 무엇을 원하는지, 무엇이 필요한지 잊어버리고 결국에는 자신에 대해서도 잊어버립니다. 당신에게는 단 하나의 삶, 바로 지금 이 삶이 있습니다. 당신은 이 삶을 살아가고, 스스로의 삶을 살아가야 합니다. 특히 다른 사람들의 의견이 당신의 길을 방해하지 않도록 해야 합니다.
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53 PAST RESPONSES
How can I live my own life if somebody else depends on me 100%. I cannot feel fine giving upy life to live my mother's. I'm sorry
I'm ok with that.
Bullshit,
very effective.
This is working a 12 Step Program. Yes! It works. :)
thank you so much! Yes, life is full of conflicts. How much of the conflict is a product of one's own re-construction and how much of it is actual?
When we study it deeply, we realize that conflicts are products of our reaction to a situation. Quite like the way we don't see gulping down a chicken nugget or plucking an apple as a conflict zone although we don't see the pain or harm caused to them as a result of our cautions, similarly let's look at social or political violence as witnessed by the media from a certain distance. In short, happiness comes from our ability to provide help and ways to live one's lives with dignity and self-sustenance. Since we have seen traditional state-driven ways of welfare as autocratic and demeaning, we have strangely chosen to call these basic but fundamentally 'human' ways as 'alternative'.
An all round excellent article ...! We can do it; pick one and start!
Its not that complicated people . Take bits and pieces you agree with and put the rest on a shelf . Those critizing thats your mind moving beautiful now enjoy life.....if you want to.
thankyou so much for this wonderful article,but it is some hard to follow it oterwise it is excellent ways to find happiness.
great writing and really inspiring :)
Excellent article. These items are subtle and when you connect with them, you know. Although rational, they don't operate on a rational level, but on something very subtle, precious, powerful, and intuitive. I'm now looking at the doggie and the monkey picture, thinking, "Oh, no, it's that monkey again. Think positive thoughts. Yes, that's my nose. Think positive thoughts."
If this article doesn't make sense, you have taken the depth out of it.. it's perfectly written for those who are wiling to let go and let God.. being young and suffering death, trauma, and despair gives you the strength to pick up the pieces, put them back together, and live life everyday like it is your last... if you know when your last day is, good luck making it awesome.
I agree with all of these, but from my experience it has taken a lot of "work" with the help of a 12-step program and professional counseling to be able to not only mentally agree, but to have the resources to actually know "how" to give up these things. Without resources, no matter how much I might "want" to give these things up, I had no clue "how" to do it. So if you have an opportunity to work a 12-step program, I highly recommend it.
There are a lot of comments as to whether this advice is realistic and whether all or some of the advice is in fact good advice ... How about this - just pick ONE thing that you agree with, and where you kinda know you need to make a change in your life - and do that ... and see what happens.
This is excellent!
Great list.
This is a great article. It's a perfect reminder of being mindful.
Brilliant
Lol. I'm pretty sure the author doesn't care about these comments anyways....cause she is not looking for agreement or trying to impress the readers. :)
Wow ... just what I needed today. When someone close to you passed away, you know how true these words really are. Ask me. I know. Thank you for sharing it with us.
Agree with Jk - I do think that the basic ideas are sound, however presenting them from the perspective of what a person "Should Give Up" is certainly coming from an omniscient viewpoint and is not an especially effective sales technique for the process. Other items like "Giving up the past" might be more useful as "learn from the past", and "Giving up living your life to other people's expectations" - well perhaps there are some people in our lives whose expectations are legitimate. Sometimes I'd much RATHER go on a cruise with a 25 year old, muscular, wealthy stud than cook, clean, organize, work and listen to my family's problems, but that's part of the deal - GIVE and take. I think Jk said it better though - thanks JK!
I believe there are a lot of nay-sayers out there, just waiting to shoot down someone's ideas on how to find happiness!! There are a lot people in the world who go around depressed and sad, that's all they see, that' s all they live. If this article can help just one of those people find happiness then it is a success!!
That is true. It is that God words can bring some good. Please send me some links of text I have one but didn't open. Time is just running very fast already it is a morning.
I didn't complete some grass I was having and I didn't sleep well yesterday.
every problem has some solutions I believe but sometimes problems pile up. That is why am in this slum..just doing what I feel like and sclerosis is disturbing.
Thank you for the advice
You know life is simple but we all complicate it. Yes, God is watching us make some messes in our lives and He is watching us do some good. That is why we are gifted among His creations with a brain that has an ego living in it. When we listen too hard to our ego and not enough to our God, that is when we mess up.
He is always there, to hear, and to watch our lives unfolding. He gave us the control button to find His Wisdom and use it for better. Gosh, let us all hope we can be humble enough to read God's words, hear God's words, and act out God's message. It is all He can hope for. He hopes we at least try, but sometimes
we won't try. There is that ego, telling you you aren't good enough. Yes you are. God said so. I once went through a depressed era in my life and I was searching to hear God's words of Wisdom. My boss, handed me a small flyer that said "God Does Not Make Junk". God spoke to me that day and lifted me out of the dark place I thought I was in. We put ourselves in places just like little children and then get scared trying to find our way out.
15 Ways (what to give up to be happy, or the 10 Commandments of God. Either way, He set the rules for making our lives moving toward perfection. If only we would read them carefully and live that way. The moral of His story for us, is to always look into yourself and see who you are, and do not spend one moment of your lifetime, judging others. That is God's job. Unless you want to fire Him.
[Hide Full Comment]Doing 15 things is not a must. and the dailymistrust you wrote today that goes as far as 2009 is taker more than serious. I really can't even remember what was written. I tell you take those things less than they may look. because I may not man and I should not get hurt what I didn't mean. also am finding very hard to live happy life naturally so please and please don't send me something aimed to cause fear.
I respect people and if you think I didn't respect you, you can ask where such thing happened and I explain or I apologize. There is nothing in 2009 that can bring me death. What you need to read are the two letters of the two groups. But if you don't get all and you just come for my damned pleasure it can be bad.
That is that and I don't like what causes me fear and unpleasant stories.
Thank you.
I'm unable to NOT do something (think about it), so I've written this response, point-by-point: Do 15 Things to Make Your Life Better. (please go to DeborahMagid at Wordpress dot com to see "Do 15 Things to Make Your Life Better")
# 16: using the word "should". It's proven to meet resistance...lol
Joanne, they everyday admit craps because they too are craps. that is why they regret after sometime is like driving left.
@8424532e564f7c2520f82062fc9a9380:disqus
life is finding happiness and happiness is in common places e.g. workplace, schools, libraries and even in stores. it is how one enjoys environs.
Yes, pleasure like me pleasure comes after helping people and sometimes hurting if they ask me and tell me they want to be hurt. In other words I get pleasure when I do what people want. 89% are my innate abilities and only technology is only 8% overall. And my customers come to beat me when I sleep. There is no week, I am left unbeaten.
I remember when a family accused me of burying two humans. I denied.
Because my father lost 4 of his sons to graves and another son to mentality.
Only me he's got now and am sane because of dr's sperms and tools.
My father requested compensation of only one son and promised to forgive the rest.
No one paid him as little as one camel and he forgave but I can't till I meet my brothers in the graves or I fully revenge. So far, an amount equivalent 10 camels was collected. Leave alone average boss to solve this internal even 150 Countries around the world completely failed to understand the easiest fuck of how terrorists are getting funds.
anyone who thinks will be thanked for disabling the store is boneheaded because debtors don't thank average bosses. Contributors drag and humiliate sons who are my be brothers of other peoples'. It is better to accept the respect of the creditor and leave traumas and conflict cultures alone. The average boss was may be a teen when these problems took off. Britishian writer said "consult the wise and honor the old"
[Hide Full Comment]BEST ADVICE I'VE EVER READ
This is so American. Load of utter 'positive people makes positive lives' fake christian bullshit.
Put it this way, take 2 for example:Give up complaining. This to me just reads like 'become a walk over'. If we all gave up complaining, nothing great would get done or crap would be accepted. Go into a hairdressers, get a shit haircut for $100. Don't complain because you are a happy, pissed-off with your shit haircut, person who's just been taken for a ride. Give up the luxury of criticism. For a start it's not a luxury. You can be critical if you want. I believe it is a trait that I enjoy. Why? Many people are idiots. It's the truth. If you are in a job and you don't criticise people who do crap work then you'll have an office/workplace full of people who can't do their job.These are basic personality traits of intelligent people. But I guess retards are happier than all of us.
Okay..but is life all about finding happiness? You say life is a route not a destination..seems to me the aim here is to be stuck in a "happy here and now" realm and let the time pass without your participation in its flow...of course some things are true, but no-one can claim all is truth and wisdom. Also, some tips include a certain level of egoism..what about happiness from making others happy - ignored here..giving up the past ok..but shouldn't we learn from past also? Giving up living life to other people expectations - sound ok to a degree..but what is you live your life in a way that hurt and harm others? Very few of us are intrinsically conflict-less with others..shouldn't we also look for compromise between expectations? There is no way we can live in a sterile one-person-bubble-world... everything we do influences others. Maybe finding the right way to co-exist instead of looking for your very own world of your own life would be better?
I didn't sleep yesterday night and yesterday itself. 30minutes before I closed my eyes a woman called me with strange number and told me same thing a man told me 3 days ago. Two of them came and beat me asleep I dreamed that. Today I took anti-tension and fear tablets so am ok.
So when David wrote short answers I thought there was problem with daily good. It is now am getting his message. Well, here it is not $100 it is cheaper and it is very interesting. I have seen it some places but I prefer formal because those say that are not healthy.
Thanks for the social Entertainments
@david, what we know is that what I write here is not sarcastic and if it seems is not meant to be. So Davis, What does it mean breathe in/out with 100$/
15things are not useless. When we come to changing entire life, it doesn't change one day or one week perhaps it is a process and it depends how one commits and what causes from Z to A or A to Z. I understand these 15 are very encouraging and real that one needs to live a good and meaningful life. Number 6, Dana, put it easy way where my stupid experience contradicts as it says "give attention to problems."
For attachments as basic human, it is right though I had been to that I only saw contentments, coolness, calmness and feelings that were never true or there. So should I stay contented while I am not. Your places may be is that but here things are very different and I have to do what I can and leave what I can't. Yes, the 15 are very great. it is self-awareness. thank you all
Q: are we there yet? A: There is no there- only here.
Q: What time is it? A; Now?
Q: Why do you give cryptic answers? A: Why do you ask questions? Breathe in, breathe out.
That will be $100 please.
Wow what a great Tips for Happiness.
These suggestions, while coming from a place of sincerity, I'm sure, are so glib as to be almost useless. Any person for whom these are true impediments to happiness is asked to do nothing short of change their entire personality. Maybe this is right, but 1300 words and 15 vague aphorisms that all say generally the same thing (If you want to be more happy, just be happy!) are not a serious tool for positive life changes.
@2b7bdc96f65d5ef2f5eaa7b4b78afb14:disqus It is a feeling that is there but it has got no good. Sometimes people stuck in it and can't get out of it. I hate it most. Like when last night a caller took my pleasure, I was in a different feeling 5 hours. trying to know what he talked and how real he could be and how long it can take. 5 hours I didn't know I was thinking one caller's plan. We have to be happy and effective and efficient in life
Thank you for sharing - I had a wow moment reading this - asked Father God about worshipping Him in unity - He gave me the answer as I was reading your writing. God bless you.
woooooooooooow...u just made my day..my life...u made a change in perception..thank you is not enough :))
Good Article.. Yes, we have to stop living to other people expectation. And giving up on attachment i shard for me to understand too..
Thanks for sharing...
After reading it twice, i feel like to read once more, it is so simple to be happy and if practices well happiness will be forever.excellent articles for those who are pain, just like me. thanks a lot.
15 wonderful points, all pointing in a really healthful direction! It seems like a lot of overwhelming, hard work but just having the willingness to give these up, to let go, is all that's needed :)
Self-awareness brings you back to the present moment - when I'm convinced I should be somewhere else or shouldn't be feeling how I'm feeling, it helps me to remember that I am exactly where I am meant to be...http://iaminthismoment.com/
Articulate oneself. It is very good. I lived this way 8 years ago. What I understood is that when one lives this way is when one has everything but when you need some people's help or support you can't. It can't be enough good to attend workstation with short trouser and a vest. I don't control people or I don't care who is that way or this way. Sometimes in towns I impress people by surprising them and I don't wait to see their judgments because they don't know me but neighbors I do a lot so that they respect me. People who know me call me a very moral person but am not very good because I sometimes tell someones 'I have scar in my ass.' They then feel am very rude not knowing am just playing with their feelings. I do a lot of things for fun but really am very polite. I feel myself when am alone or am with people I trust. This is because a number of people are harmful and if you trust they can hurt you badly.My mood changes every 4 hours depending on who am dealing. One caller can tell me he knows my accounts then knowing how hard I had been saving, can I remain cool? I have to think a way out because the account is may be very secret. So really, Life is how we live and it is better to please those that we love or care. if your daughter tells you to accompany to swimming pool as a request, and you are reading a novel. would you ignore? I try all I can to please people but I also take my time in my store and look a doorman.
Anyway, It is great to have these tips
[Hide Full Comment]SZ
Much easier said than done:) It is okay to feel sad and not be happy too. This sometimes is part of the process of getting beyond your situation you just can not get stuck there.
Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. I am forwarding this to as many people as possible. These are truly the keys to happiness.!
Thank you so much for this beautiful article. It sounds so simple and yet we fail to practice it. Yes we all are in charge of our own happiness. I read the quote below long time ago during my teen years which has sat with me all these years and I often remind myself at times when I am frustrated or angry or whenever negative emotions take me over
"Happiest of the people don't have best of everything; they just make most of everything they have."
Really wonderful and useful message, but so hard to practice..... We know life is a journey, but what to do if past moves on leaving unforgettable memories into us......
sandhya.m.s.
Very true and it is very very difficult to practice. Anyways, it is better to try and take the 1st step forward. Thanks for opening up. V