以下列出了15件如果你放弃的事情，你的生活将会变得糟糕透顶。
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轻松得多，也快乐得多。我们执着于许多给我们带来巨大痛苦、压力和折磨的事物——我们非但没有放手，没有让自己摆脱压力，获得快乐，反而紧紧抓住不放。但这一切即将改变。从今天开始，我们将放弃所有不再对我们有益的事物，拥抱改变。准备好了吗？开始吧！
1. 放弃你总是想证明自己正确的执念。我们当中有太多人无法忍受犯错——总想永远正确——即使冒着破坏美好关系、给自己和他人带来巨大压力和痛苦的风险。这真的不值得。每当你感到“迫切”想要加入争论谁对谁错的行列时，问问自己这个问题： “我宁愿正确，还是宁愿善良？”——韦恩·戴尔。这又有什么区别呢？你的自尊心真的那么强吗？
2. 放下控制欲。要学会放下总是想要控制发生在你身上和周围的一切——包括各种情况、事件、人物等等。无论是你爱的人、同事，还是街上遇到的陌生人——都顺其自然。允许一切人和事保持原样，你会发现这会让你感觉好很多。
“顺其自然，方能成就一切。懂得顺其自然的人才能赢得世界。但若执着于一再执着，世界便无法征服。”——老子
3. 放弃责备。放弃将你拥有或不拥有的东西、你的感受或没有感受归咎于他人的想法。停止放弃你的力量，开始为你的人生负责。
4. 放弃自我否定式的内心对话。天哪！有多少人因为消极、消极、反复出现的自我否定式思维而伤害自己？不要相信你脑海中浮现的一切——尤其是那些消极的、自我否定式的想法。你值得拥有更好的自己。
“如果运用得当，心灵是一件绝妙的工具。但如果运用不当，它就会变得极具破坏性。” ——埃克哈特·托利
5. 放弃那些限制你能力的信念，放弃那些关于你能做什么或不能做什么、什么是可能什么是不可能的事情的信念。从现在开始，你不再允许这些限制性信念把你困在错误的地方。展开你的翅膀，自由翱翔吧！
“信念并非头脑中持有的想法，而是持有头脑的想法。” ——艾莉·罗塞尔
6. 停止抱怨。放弃你总是抱怨那些让你不快乐、难过、沮丧的种种事情——人、事、物。没有人能让你不快乐，也没有什么事能让你难过或痛苦，除非你允许它发生。引发你这些感受的不是事情本身，而是你如何看待它。永远不要低估积极思考的力量。
7. 放弃批评的奢侈。放弃批评与你不同的人、事、物的需求。我们各不相同，但我们又都一样。我们都渴望幸福，我们都渴望爱与被爱，我们都渴望被理解。我们都有所求，我们都渴望拥有某些东西。
8. 放弃取悦他人的需要。别再费尽心思伪装自己，只为博得他人的喜欢。这样做行不通。当你不再伪装自己，卸下所有面具，接受并拥抱真实的自己时，你会发现人们会不由自主地被你吸引。
9. 放弃对改变的抗拒。改变是好事。改变能帮助你从A点到达B点。改变能帮助你改善自己的生活，也能改善你周围人的生活。追随你的内心，拥抱改变——不要抗拒它。
“追随你的幸福，宇宙会为你打开原本只有墙壁的大门。” ——约瑟夫·坎贝尔
10. 放弃贴标签。不要再给那些你不理解的事物、人或事贴上“怪异”或“与众不同”的标签，试着一点一点地敞开心扉。只有开放的心态才能真正发挥作用。 “最严重的无知莫过于拒绝你一无所知的事物。”——韦恩·戴尔
11. 放下你的恐惧。恐惧只是一种错觉，它并不存在——它是你创造出来的。一切都源于你的内心。纠正你的内心，外在的一切自然水到渠成。
“我们唯一需要恐惧的，就是恐惧本身。”——富兰克林·D·罗斯福
12. 别再找借口了。把它们统统扔掉，告诉它们你不再需要它们了。很多时候，我们因为找了太多借口而限制了自己。我们不去成长，不去努力提升自己和生活，反而停滞不前，自欺欺人，找各种各样的借口——而这些借口99.9%都是无稽之谈。
13. 放下过去。我知道，我知道，这很难。尤其当过去看起来比现在美好得多，而未来又如此令人恐惧时，更是如此。但你必须明白，当下才是你拥有的一切，也是你唯一拥有的。你现在所怀念的过去——你现在梦寐以求的过去——在你身处其中时却被你忽略了。别再自欺欺人了。活在当下，享受生活。毕竟，人生是一段旅程，而非终点。对未来要有清晰的愿景，做好准备，但永远要活在当下。
14. 放下执着。对我们大多数人来说，这是一个很难理解的概念，我必须告诉你，我以前也觉得很难（现在依然如此），但这并非不可能。随着时间和练习的积累，你会越来越擅长。当你放下对一切事物的执着（这并不意味着你放弃了对它们的爱——因为爱和执着是两回事，执着源于恐惧，而爱……真正的爱是纯粹的、善良的、无私的，有爱的地方就没有恐惧，正因如此，执着和爱无法共存），你会变得无比平和、无比宽容、无比善良、无比宁静。你会达到一种境界，无需刻意去理解一切。那是一种无法用语言形容的境界。
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15. 别再活在别人的期望里。太多人过着不属于自己的生活。他们按照别人认为对他们最好的方式生活，按照父母认为对他们最好的方式生活，按照朋友、敌人、老师、政府和媒体认为对他们最好的方式生活。他们忽略了内心的声音，忽略了内心的召唤。他们忙于取悦所有人，忙于满足别人的期望，以至于失去了对生活的掌控。他们忘记了什么能让他们快乐，他们想要什么，他们需要什么……最终，他们忘记了自己。你只有一次生命——就是现在这一刻——你必须好好活，掌控它，尤其不要让别人的意见分散你的注意力，偏离你的人生道路。
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How can I live my own life if somebody else depends on me 100%. I cannot feel fine giving upy life to live my mother's. I'm sorry
I'm ok with that.
Bullshit,
very effective.
This is working a 12 Step Program. Yes! It works. :)
thank you so much! Yes, life is full of conflicts. How much of the conflict is a product of one's own re-construction and how much of it is actual?
When we study it deeply, we realize that conflicts are products of our reaction to a situation. Quite like the way we don't see gulping down a chicken nugget or plucking an apple as a conflict zone although we don't see the pain or harm caused to them as a result of our cautions, similarly let's look at social or political violence as witnessed by the media from a certain distance. In short, happiness comes from our ability to provide help and ways to live one's lives with dignity and self-sustenance. Since we have seen traditional state-driven ways of welfare as autocratic and demeaning, we have strangely chosen to call these basic but fundamentally 'human' ways as 'alternative'.
An all round excellent article ...! We can do it; pick one and start!
Its not that complicated people . Take bits and pieces you agree with and put the rest on a shelf . Those critizing thats your mind moving beautiful now enjoy life.....if you want to.
thankyou so much for this wonderful article,but it is some hard to follow it oterwise it is excellent ways to find happiness.
great writing and really inspiring :)
Excellent article. These items are subtle and when you connect with them, you know. Although rational, they don't operate on a rational level, but on something very subtle, precious, powerful, and intuitive. I'm now looking at the doggie and the monkey picture, thinking, "Oh, no, it's that monkey again. Think positive thoughts. Yes, that's my nose. Think positive thoughts."
If this article doesn't make sense, you have taken the depth out of it.. it's perfectly written for those who are wiling to let go and let God.. being young and suffering death, trauma, and despair gives you the strength to pick up the pieces, put them back together, and live life everyday like it is your last... if you know when your last day is, good luck making it awesome.
I agree with all of these, but from my experience it has taken a lot of "work" with the help of a 12-step program and professional counseling to be able to not only mentally agree, but to have the resources to actually know "how" to give up these things. Without resources, no matter how much I might "want" to give these things up, I had no clue "how" to do it. So if you have an opportunity to work a 12-step program, I highly recommend it.
There are a lot of comments as to whether this advice is realistic and whether all or some of the advice is in fact good advice ... How about this - just pick ONE thing that you agree with, and where you kinda know you need to make a change in your life - and do that ... and see what happens.
This is excellent!
Great list.
This is a great article. It's a perfect reminder of being mindful.
Brilliant
Lol. I'm pretty sure the author doesn't care about these comments anyways....cause she is not looking for agreement or trying to impress the readers. :)
Wow ... just what I needed today. When someone close to you passed away, you know how true these words really are. Ask me. I know. Thank you for sharing it with us.
Agree with Jk - I do think that the basic ideas are sound, however presenting them from the perspective of what a person "Should Give Up" is certainly coming from an omniscient viewpoint and is not an especially effective sales technique for the process. Other items like "Giving up the past" might be more useful as "learn from the past", and "Giving up living your life to other people's expectations" - well perhaps there are some people in our lives whose expectations are legitimate. Sometimes I'd much RATHER go on a cruise with a 25 year old, muscular, wealthy stud than cook, clean, organize, work and listen to my family's problems, but that's part of the deal - GIVE and take. I think Jk said it better though - thanks JK!
I believe there are a lot of nay-sayers out there, just waiting to shoot down someone's ideas on how to find happiness!! There are a lot people in the world who go around depressed and sad, that's all they see, that' s all they live. If this article can help just one of those people find happiness then it is a success!!
That is true. It is that God words can bring some good. Please send me some links of text I have one but didn't open. Time is just running very fast already it is a morning.
I didn't complete some grass I was having and I didn't sleep well yesterday.
every problem has some solutions I believe but sometimes problems pile up. That is why am in this slum..just doing what I feel like and sclerosis is disturbing.
Thank you for the advice
You know life is simple but we all complicate it. Yes, God is watching us make some messes in our lives and He is watching us do some good. That is why we are gifted among His creations with a brain that has an ego living in it. When we listen too hard to our ego and not enough to our God, that is when we mess up.
He is always there, to hear, and to watch our lives unfolding. He gave us the control button to find His Wisdom and use it for better. Gosh, let us all hope we can be humble enough to read God's words, hear God's words, and act out God's message. It is all He can hope for. He hopes we at least try, but sometimes
we won't try. There is that ego, telling you you aren't good enough. Yes you are. God said so. I once went through a depressed era in my life and I was searching to hear God's words of Wisdom. My boss, handed me a small flyer that said "God Does Not Make Junk". God spoke to me that day and lifted me out of the dark place I thought I was in. We put ourselves in places just like little children and then get scared trying to find our way out.
15 Ways (what to give up to be happy, or the 10 Commandments of God. Either way, He set the rules for making our lives moving toward perfection. If only we would read them carefully and live that way. The moral of His story for us, is to always look into yourself and see who you are, and do not spend one moment of your lifetime, judging others. That is God's job. Unless you want to fire Him.
[Hide Full Comment]Doing 15 things is not a must. and the dailymistrust you wrote today that goes as far as 2009 is taker more than serious. I really can't even remember what was written. I tell you take those things less than they may look. because I may not man and I should not get hurt what I didn't mean. also am finding very hard to live happy life naturally so please and please don't send me something aimed to cause fear.
I respect people and if you think I didn't respect you, you can ask where such thing happened and I explain or I apologize. There is nothing in 2009 that can bring me death. What you need to read are the two letters of the two groups. But if you don't get all and you just come for my damned pleasure it can be bad.
That is that and I don't like what causes me fear and unpleasant stories.
Thank you.
I'm unable to NOT do something (think about it), so I've written this response, point-by-point: Do 15 Things to Make Your Life Better. (please go to DeborahMagid at Wordpress dot com to see "Do 15 Things to Make Your Life Better")
# 16: using the word "should". It's proven to meet resistance...lol
Joanne, they everyday admit craps because they too are craps. that is why they regret after sometime is like driving left.
@8424532e564f7c2520f82062fc9a9380:disqus
life is finding happiness and happiness is in common places e.g. workplace, schools, libraries and even in stores. it is how one enjoys environs.
Yes, pleasure like me pleasure comes after helping people and sometimes hurting if they ask me and tell me they want to be hurt. In other words I get pleasure when I do what people want. 89% are my innate abilities and only technology is only 8% overall. And my customers come to beat me when I sleep. There is no week, I am left unbeaten.
I remember when a family accused me of burying two humans. I denied.
Because my father lost 4 of his sons to graves and another son to mentality.
Only me he's got now and am sane because of dr's sperms and tools.
My father requested compensation of only one son and promised to forgive the rest.
No one paid him as little as one camel and he forgave but I can't till I meet my brothers in the graves or I fully revenge. So far, an amount equivalent 10 camels was collected. Leave alone average boss to solve this internal even 150 Countries around the world completely failed to understand the easiest fuck of how terrorists are getting funds.
anyone who thinks will be thanked for disabling the store is boneheaded because debtors don't thank average bosses. Contributors drag and humiliate sons who are my be brothers of other peoples'. It is better to accept the respect of the creditor and leave traumas and conflict cultures alone. The average boss was may be a teen when these problems took off. Britishian writer said "consult the wise and honor the old"
[Hide Full Comment]BEST ADVICE I'VE EVER READ
This is so American. Load of utter 'positive people makes positive lives' fake christian bullshit.
Put it this way, take 2 for example:Give up complaining. This to me just reads like 'become a walk over'. If we all gave up complaining, nothing great would get done or crap would be accepted. Go into a hairdressers, get a shit haircut for $100. Don't complain because you are a happy, pissed-off with your shit haircut, person who's just been taken for a ride. Give up the luxury of criticism. For a start it's not a luxury. You can be critical if you want. I believe it is a trait that I enjoy. Why? Many people are idiots. It's the truth. If you are in a job and you don't criticise people who do crap work then you'll have an office/workplace full of people who can't do their job.These are basic personality traits of intelligent people. But I guess retards are happier than all of us.
Okay..but is life all about finding happiness? You say life is a route not a destination..seems to me the aim here is to be stuck in a "happy here and now" realm and let the time pass without your participation in its flow...of course some things are true, but no-one can claim all is truth and wisdom. Also, some tips include a certain level of egoism..what about happiness from making others happy - ignored here..giving up the past ok..but shouldn't we learn from past also? Giving up living life to other people expectations - sound ok to a degree..but what is you live your life in a way that hurt and harm others? Very few of us are intrinsically conflict-less with others..shouldn't we also look for compromise between expectations? There is no way we can live in a sterile one-person-bubble-world... everything we do influences others. Maybe finding the right way to co-exist instead of looking for your very own world of your own life would be better?
I didn't sleep yesterday night and yesterday itself. 30minutes before I closed my eyes a woman called me with strange number and told me same thing a man told me 3 days ago. Two of them came and beat me asleep I dreamed that. Today I took anti-tension and fear tablets so am ok.
So when David wrote short answers I thought there was problem with daily good. It is now am getting his message. Well, here it is not $100 it is cheaper and it is very interesting. I have seen it some places but I prefer formal because those say that are not healthy.
Thanks for the social Entertainments
@david, what we know is that what I write here is not sarcastic and if it seems is not meant to be. So Davis, What does it mean breathe in/out with 100$/
15things are not useless. When we come to changing entire life, it doesn't change one day or one week perhaps it is a process and it depends how one commits and what causes from Z to A or A to Z. I understand these 15 are very encouraging and real that one needs to live a good and meaningful life. Number 6, Dana, put it easy way where my stupid experience contradicts as it says "give attention to problems."
For attachments as basic human, it is right though I had been to that I only saw contentments, coolness, calmness and feelings that were never true or there. So should I stay contented while I am not. Your places may be is that but here things are very different and I have to do what I can and leave what I can't. Yes, the 15 are very great. it is self-awareness. thank you all
Q: are we there yet? A: There is no there- only here.
Q: What time is it? A; Now?
Q: Why do you give cryptic answers? A: Why do you ask questions? Breathe in, breathe out.
That will be $100 please.
Wow what a great Tips for Happiness.
These suggestions, while coming from a place of sincerity, I'm sure, are so glib as to be almost useless. Any person for whom these are true impediments to happiness is asked to do nothing short of change their entire personality. Maybe this is right, but 1300 words and 15 vague aphorisms that all say generally the same thing (If you want to be more happy, just be happy!) are not a serious tool for positive life changes.
@2b7bdc96f65d5ef2f5eaa7b4b78afb14:disqus It is a feeling that is there but it has got no good. Sometimes people stuck in it and can't get out of it. I hate it most. Like when last night a caller took my pleasure, I was in a different feeling 5 hours. trying to know what he talked and how real he could be and how long it can take. 5 hours I didn't know I was thinking one caller's plan. We have to be happy and effective and efficient in life
Thank you for sharing - I had a wow moment reading this - asked Father God about worshipping Him in unity - He gave me the answer as I was reading your writing. God bless you.
woooooooooooow...u just made my day..my life...u made a change in perception..thank you is not enough :))
Good Article.. Yes, we have to stop living to other people expectation. And giving up on attachment i shard for me to understand too..
Thanks for sharing...
After reading it twice, i feel like to read once more, it is so simple to be happy and if practices well happiness will be forever.excellent articles for those who are pain, just like me. thanks a lot.
15 wonderful points, all pointing in a really healthful direction! It seems like a lot of overwhelming, hard work but just having the willingness to give these up, to let go, is all that's needed :)
Self-awareness brings you back to the present moment - when I'm convinced I should be somewhere else or shouldn't be feeling how I'm feeling, it helps me to remember that I am exactly where I am meant to be...http://iaminthismoment.com/
Articulate oneself. It is very good. I lived this way 8 years ago. What I understood is that when one lives this way is when one has everything but when you need some people's help or support you can't. It can't be enough good to attend workstation with short trouser and a vest. I don't control people or I don't care who is that way or this way. Sometimes in towns I impress people by surprising them and I don't wait to see their judgments because they don't know me but neighbors I do a lot so that they respect me. People who know me call me a very moral person but am not very good because I sometimes tell someones 'I have scar in my ass.' They then feel am very rude not knowing am just playing with their feelings. I do a lot of things for fun but really am very polite. I feel myself when am alone or am with people I trust. This is because a number of people are harmful and if you trust they can hurt you badly.My mood changes every 4 hours depending on who am dealing. One caller can tell me he knows my accounts then knowing how hard I had been saving, can I remain cool? I have to think a way out because the account is may be very secret. So really, Life is how we live and it is better to please those that we love or care. if your daughter tells you to accompany to swimming pool as a request, and you are reading a novel. would you ignore? I try all I can to please people but I also take my time in my store and look a doorman.
Anyway, It is great to have these tips
[Hide Full Comment]SZ
Much easier said than done:) It is okay to feel sad and not be happy too. This sometimes is part of the process of getting beyond your situation you just can not get stuck there.
Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. I am forwarding this to as many people as possible. These are truly the keys to happiness.!
Thank you so much for this beautiful article. It sounds so simple and yet we fail to practice it. Yes we all are in charge of our own happiness. I read the quote below long time ago during my teen years which has sat with me all these years and I often remind myself at times when I am frustrated or angry or whenever negative emotions take me over
"Happiest of the people don't have best of everything; they just make most of everything they have."
Really wonderful and useful message, but so hard to practice..... We know life is a journey, but what to do if past moves on leaving unforgettable memories into us......
sandhya.m.s.
Very true and it is very very difficult to practice. Anyways, it is better to try and take the 1st step forward. Thanks for opening up. V