Una forma de medir la autenticidad de nuestro amor es examinar hasta dónde hemos extendido los límites que determinan con quién estamos dispuestos a relacionarnos. Cuando estos límites se abran por completo, nadie quedará fuera, nadie será excluido. Ya no habrá extraños. Todos serán bienvenidos.
Reflexiona un momento sobre lo que se siente al ser bienvenido. La palabra significa, simplemente, «ven y siéntete bien» en mi presencia. Es una experiencia humana fundamental y crucial. Cuando me reciben con los brazos abiertos, me siento bien. Puedo ser yo mismo. Me relajo y me siento libre de complejos, lleno de energía y feliz. Por otro lado, cuando no me reciben con los brazos abiertos, dudo de mí mismo, me aíslo, me marchito. Me siento excluido, no aceptado y no me siento aceptable. Esto es doloroso. Si sucede con frecuencia, llegaré a cuestionar mi propia valía.
La hospitalidad implica crear un espacio acogedor para el otro. Henri J. Nouwen señala que la palabra holandesa para hospitalidad, gastvrijheid, significa «la libertad del huésped». Implica crear no solo un espacio físico, sino también un espacio emocional donde el extraño pueda entrar y ser él mismo, donde pueda convertirse en aliado en lugar de amenaza, en amigo en lugar de enemigo.
[...] Esa valiosa experiencia —cuando se contempla, se valora y se celebra— me permite, a su vez, acoger a los demás: empiezo a temer menos al otro; comienzo a ver al extraño como un regalo. Me dispongo a crear un espacio en mi interior para invitar al otro a entrar, y me abro a la posibilidad de ser transformado por su presencia.
Invito al lector a reflexionar sobre las maravillosas historias de hospitalidad presentes en las tradiciones de todas las grandes religiones. Reflexiona sobre ellas; pide a Dios que te dé claridad. Luego, pide valor para dar pequeños pasos y ampliar tu propio círculo de hospitalidad. Estos pasos pueden ser tan sencillos como sonreírle a un desconocido en la fila del supermercado, tan importantes como organizar una reunión para todos los vecinos de tu edificio, o tan trascendentales como ofrecerte como voluntario para acoger a un niño refugiado no acompañado en tu hogar. Puede que no te cueste mucho, o puede que implique arriesgarte: ¿Te imaginas durante la cena de Acción de Gracias hablando con tu cuñado en defensa de los indocumentados, señalando que, en realidad, todos somos parientes y que todos tenemos el derecho humano a vivir donde podamos mantener a nuestra familia?
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We all want to belong, to matter and to be understood. Here's to opening those spaces
I recently felt this deep hospitality in Iran when I performed in their Storytelling festival. I was the 1st American ever invited and it was a most wonderful experience, mostly because of the kindness, caring and generous hospitality extended. I immediately felt welcome and as though our hearts were connected. I am grateful! I always extend kindness whether that is a smile, a hug, a heartfelt compliment, conversation; always welcoming in the people I encounter and remembering we all want to belong, matter & be understood. Hugs from my heart to yours!
Princess,
Remember, at times like that, the difference between fact and opinion. Fact: You are a very desirable person to a huge body of people, and you know that. Yet, like all of us, you're not desirable to a much smaller group. Too bad some of them were someone else's "family" that I gather you would like to be a part of. But it is their opinion that you aren't desirable. Simply get a realistic and accurate self image of yourself and seek out people compatible with that image.
With 6.5 billion people out there you can certainly do without many of them. Your happiness isn't dependent on everyone's opinion of you. When you pray, perhaps you should pray that those who selfishly didn't accept you should learn understanding and kindness. YOU will be just fine without them.
Chip
Awesome article. Very true. I recently had an experience where I wasn't welcomed by someone's family, and it took me back to the first time where I was not accepted via family relations. I did question who I was, and never felt good enough. It hurts, but I don't want to be that way to others. I pray for courage.
I get Stan's point. Especially when my comfort level is breached. Why can’t “they” learn our
language so I can describe the simple task I need done?
However, like osmosis, capillary action, and the rise and fall of tides, people have moved for a variety of reasons since time immemorial. Fleeing marauding bands, war, famine, climate change (dead were the ones who stayed PUT during the last ice age). You, I’m sure, have
experienced love. Consider, please, that “love” is a basic human emotion, and a person’s love of family (and of “self,” therefore self-preservation), combined with changing circumstances, will drive people, EVEN YOU to different places for simple survival, or for love.
Rather than bemoan the fact you have been made uncomfortable by the hoards of illegals, consider that you can’t do a damn thing about it, and nobody can. Governments and laws are weak instruments to stem the tide, whether of the ocean tides, or a mass of humans migrating for survival, or love. Instead of complaining, or trying to change it, accept reality and “deal with it.” “Man up~!” You have no choice.
I do a lot of open ocean sailing. I may complain about the weather, and feel sorry for myself in a storm, but I KNOW I can’t do a damn thing about the surrounding circumstances, but I better open my eyes, measure what is going on around me, and DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT to ensure my OWN survival for the situation I’m in. In short, “deal with it.”
And I write this knowing you and I share the same feelings about the hoards of illegals, but I’m calmed by the above realization. So I take a deep breath, and talk with these people. And I have learned that they’re just like you and me. Just in far different circumstances, and I realize that I am VERY THANKFUL THAT I DON’T HAVE THE SAME PROBLEMS.
I’m 71 years old, and have learned a few things. Most important, I have helped raise five kids
who are very productive in society. We all complain about circumstances, and move through them every time. We are happy.
Chip
[Hide Full Comment]How many of your "kin" do you invite to Thanksgiving.... the undocumented ones? Even one? If one, then why didn't you invite 10? 100? How would you feel if 100 came uninvited?
Do you really propose that 100 or 200 million people around the would who would like to move here "where they can support their own family" have the human right to do so? Does anyone who wants to come have the "right" to invite themselves to your Thanksgiving celebration? If so, do you invite them? And not just for one meal at Thanksgiving, do you invite anyone who wants to come to live in your home as long as they want?
Imagine yourself inviting everyone who wants to come to attend your family Thanksgiving celebration, and then to stay as long as they like. Imagine that.
Thank You . Beautiful .