然而，衡量我们爱是否真挚的一种方法是，审视我们拓展了与谁建立关系的界限。当这些界限延伸到极致时，就不会有人被拒之门外，不会有人被诅咒。不会再有陌生人。每个人都将受到欢迎。
请花一分钟时间想想被欢迎是什么感觉。这个词的意思很简单，就是“欢迎你来，愿你在我身边一切安好”。这是人类最基本的体验，也是至关重要的体验。当我被欢迎时，我会感觉很好。我可以做我自己。我会放松下来，不再感到拘束，充满活力，心情愉悦。反之，当我不被欢迎时，我会怀疑自己，变得封闭，萎靡不振。我会感到被排斥，不被接纳，不被认可。这很痛苦。如果这种情况经常发生，我会开始质疑自己的价值。
待客之道在于为他人创造一个温馨舒适的空间。亨利·J·努文指出，荷兰语中表示“待客之道”的词语 gastvrijheid 意为“客人的自由”。它不仅意味着创造一个物理空间，更意味着创造一种情感上的宽广，让陌生人能够自在地进入，做真实的自己；让陌生人成为盟友而非威胁，成为朋友而非敌人。
[...] 这种珍贵的经历——当被思考、珍惜和颂扬时——反过来也使我能够接纳他人：我开始减少对他人的恐惧；我开始将陌生人视为一份礼物。我愿意在内心创造空间，邀请他人进入我的世界，并敞开心扉，接受他人的存在所带来的改变。
我邀请读者细细品读各大宗教传统中那些关于热情好客的美好故事。反复思考，祈求上帝赐予洞见。然后祈求勇气，迈出小小的一步，拓展你自身的待客之道。这些小小举动可以像在超市排队时对陌生人微笑那样试探性，也可以像为公寓楼里的所有陌生人举办一次聚会那样用心，或者像自愿在家中照顾一名无人陪伴的难民儿童那样意义重大。这或许不需要花费太多，也可能需要你冒很大的风险：你能想象自己在感恩节晚餐上，挺身而出，为那些没有合法身份的人辩护，指出其实每个人都是我们的亲人，每个人都拥有在能够养家糊口的地方生活的权利吗？
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We all want to belong, to matter and to be understood. Here's to opening those spaces
I recently felt this deep hospitality in Iran when I performed in their Storytelling festival. I was the 1st American ever invited and it was a most wonderful experience, mostly because of the kindness, caring and generous hospitality extended. I immediately felt welcome and as though our hearts were connected. I am grateful! I always extend kindness whether that is a smile, a hug, a heartfelt compliment, conversation; always welcoming in the people I encounter and remembering we all want to belong, matter & be understood. Hugs from my heart to yours!
Princess,
Remember, at times like that, the difference between fact and opinion. Fact: You are a very desirable person to a huge body of people, and you know that. Yet, like all of us, you're not desirable to a much smaller group. Too bad some of them were someone else's "family" that I gather you would like to be a part of. But it is their opinion that you aren't desirable. Simply get a realistic and accurate self image of yourself and seek out people compatible with that image.
With 6.5 billion people out there you can certainly do without many of them. Your happiness isn't dependent on everyone's opinion of you. When you pray, perhaps you should pray that those who selfishly didn't accept you should learn understanding and kindness. YOU will be just fine without them.
Chip
Awesome article. Very true. I recently had an experience where I wasn't welcomed by someone's family, and it took me back to the first time where I was not accepted via family relations. I did question who I was, and never felt good enough. It hurts, but I don't want to be that way to others. I pray for courage.
I get Stan's point. Especially when my comfort level is breached. Why can’t “they” learn our
language so I can describe the simple task I need done?
However, like osmosis, capillary action, and the rise and fall of tides, people have moved for a variety of reasons since time immemorial. Fleeing marauding bands, war, famine, climate change (dead were the ones who stayed PUT during the last ice age). You, I’m sure, have
experienced love. Consider, please, that “love” is a basic human emotion, and a person’s love of family (and of “self,” therefore self-preservation), combined with changing circumstances, will drive people, EVEN YOU to different places for simple survival, or for love.
Rather than bemoan the fact you have been made uncomfortable by the hoards of illegals, consider that you can’t do a damn thing about it, and nobody can. Governments and laws are weak instruments to stem the tide, whether of the ocean tides, or a mass of humans migrating for survival, or love. Instead of complaining, or trying to change it, accept reality and “deal with it.” “Man up~!” You have no choice.
I do a lot of open ocean sailing. I may complain about the weather, and feel sorry for myself in a storm, but I KNOW I can’t do a damn thing about the surrounding circumstances, but I better open my eyes, measure what is going on around me, and DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT to ensure my OWN survival for the situation I’m in. In short, “deal with it.”
And I write this knowing you and I share the same feelings about the hoards of illegals, but I’m calmed by the above realization. So I take a deep breath, and talk with these people. And I have learned that they’re just like you and me. Just in far different circumstances, and I realize that I am VERY THANKFUL THAT I DON’T HAVE THE SAME PROBLEMS.
I’m 71 years old, and have learned a few things. Most important, I have helped raise five kids
who are very productive in society. We all complain about circumstances, and move through them every time. We are happy.
Chip
[Hide Full Comment]How many of your "kin" do you invite to Thanksgiving.... the undocumented ones? Even one? If one, then why didn't you invite 10? 100? How would you feel if 100 came uninvited?
Do you really propose that 100 or 200 million people around the would who would like to move here "where they can support their own family" have the human right to do so? Does anyone who wants to come have the "right" to invite themselves to your Thanksgiving celebration? If so, do you invite them? And not just for one meal at Thanksgiving, do you invite anyone who wants to come to live in your home as long as they want?
Imagine yourself inviting everyone who wants to come to attend your family Thanksgiving celebration, and then to stay as long as they like. Imagine that.
Thank You . Beautiful .