最近在普林斯顿新泽西州举办的Awakin一日静修营中,我们被要求反思“富足”和“匮乏”的概念,特别是这些概念如何在我们的生活中体现。这一主题贯穿始终,体现在各种阅读、分享以及写作练习中。在写作练习中,我们被要求思考一份曾被给予的礼物,以及这份礼物如何影响了我们的生活。我个人的反思让我回想起大约七年前,那时我正经历着接踵而至的种种磨难。
当时,我刚到一座陌生的城市开始工作,作为一名上夜班的新手护士,每天三个小时的通勤让我睡眠严重不足。入职不到一个月,我就失去了第一位病人。之后,我的挚爱也奔赴阿富汗战场,我们失去了联系。紧接着,我瘦了10磅(我原本就很瘦,身高5英尺9英寸),也失去了照顾自己的动力。我变得抑郁,感觉自己渴望的新生活正在从指缝间溜走。我惊讶于自己竟然还能继续工作。然而,一个转折点出现了,我收到了一份礼物(这份礼物至今仍让我受益匪浅),随之而来的是一种不仅令人精神振奋,而且彻底改变人生的感觉。不知怎的,这份礼物给了我重新振作的力量,也让我有了回馈身边每个人的动力。而这,又让我不断地感受到幸福的源泉。
我收到了礼物——一只名叫阿里(Ali)的白橘色小猫,它是我迄今为止收到的最珍贵的礼物。七年前,我的两个挚友发现我原本就瘦骨嶙峋,体重更是急剧下降,几乎危及生命。她们试图劝我好好照顾自己,但毫无效果。她们坚持不懈,最终找到了一个改变我的方法:让我照顾一只小猫。说实话,这招真的奏效了。在遇到阿里之前,我每天还能勉强去上班,照顾别人,却唯独忽略了自己。但阿里的到来改变了一切。如果我不吃饭,她也对食物不感兴趣;而当我吃东西的时候,她也跟着吃。这让我感到困惑,但更让我害怕的是,我注意到她有时竟然不吃东西。于是,我开始自己吃饭,也看着她和我一起吃。果然,随着我的体重开始增加,她也很快长胖了。她真的给我的生活带来了很多快乐(现在依然如此),有她在身边,我不再感到孤独和被孤立。我当时意识到,这种快乐也开始蔓延到我生活的其他方面。
随着心情逐渐好转,我又开始和人交谈,并认识了街区里的两位老邻居。我先认识了桑尼,他总是风雨无阻地坐在人行道上,留意着那些“不属于”社区的人。后来我又认识了沃尔特,他经常在半夜坐在自家门廊上守夜。这让我很惊讶,因为他们俩其实完全没必要这么做,但他们觉得这是他们作为社区守望者的责任。
我经常会路过他们家,因为桑尼上白班,沃尔特上夜班。很快,他们也注意到我,因为我经常在奇怪的时间进出,他们就问我这是什么情况。我告诉他们我是个护士,上夜班。我们成了朋友,我经常早上回家的时候给桑尼递水或者给他带早餐。一天晚上,凌晨三四点左右,我从医院加班回家,发现沃尔特正坐在门廊上睡觉。这引起了我的注意,不仅是因为时间太晚,还因为门廊没有扶手,沃尔特的背没法靠着。他坐的地方离地面大概有五六英尺高,我感觉很担心他会摔下去。我慢慢地走到他身边,生怕吓到他,在他旁边坐下,把胳膊搭在他的背后,轻轻拍了拍他的肩膀。“沃尔特,醒醒吧。”我说道。他醒了过来,不出所料,吓了一跳,身体开始往后仰。我的手臂仍然搭在他身后,扶住了他,把他拉了过来。我告诉他:“沃尔特,你总是照顾我们,这很好,但是,如果你像这样打瞌睡,谁来照顾你呢?你可能会摔下去,受重伤!”他笑了笑,低头看了看自己的脚,然后抬起下巴,转向我说:“亲爱的,是你。”他感谢我关心他,把他叫醒,并保证以后不会再那样坐在门廊的边缘上了。谢天谢地,他没有再那样做。
接下来的几个月里,我开始意识到自己正融入某种奇妙的氛围中。随着我的幸福感日益增强,周围的人也似乎更加快乐,或许这只是我的错觉,但我对此表示怀疑。我发现自己通过一些小小的善举,让别人的生活更加美好,反之亦然。我逐渐熟悉了镇上的居民:邮局的女士、五金店的先生、咖啡馆里的孩子们——顺便一提,他们总是拒绝让我付钱,因为他们知道我总会在下班前光顾咖啡馆——当然还有桑妮和沃尔特,他们现在很高兴知道,需要的时候可以随时联系到一位护士。我也一样,因为我的邻里之间有了这些“守护者”,他们时刻都在关心着我。
我很庆幸能回忆起生命中那段时光,那时我能感受到周围充盈的幸福。那种感觉就像,当你付出真心,真诚地关爱他人时,宇宙也会将爱、关怀和幸福回馈给你。我发现,尤其是在面对困境时,牢记这一点至关重要。服务他人,最终也会惠及你自己。
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Cats-the greatest therapist.
I truly believe that some animals are angels in a worldly form. I even believe they are sent specially to that certain person who needs something.
[Hide Full Comment]Just look....you needed to eat and Ali made you eat, and with that you slowly got back on track. In my case, I went down a very similar pathway though in a different direction and my mishaps were different. I lost my husband of 19 yrs very suddenly, at the age of 39, in a brand new country and life , where we had landed up with two fresh teen boys who were already not happy at leaving their life as they had known it. To top it off, I could not work till I got permission to work. And there was more., so much that any one with normal lives just cannot imagine...and it took many many years for my life to get onto any kind of track. Two siamese twins somehow ended up with me. They healed me. They gave me paws when I needed a hand, but somehow those paws worked. These two even healed my physical pains. Literally. My work was labour intense and when I got hurt or ached, that's exactly where they would press and massage and the pain would be gone as if by magic.
If I missed my husband, and my back felt lonely, somehow they would come cuddle up against my back and put me to sleep. If I cried , they would purr and cuddle up against me and play with me and make me laugh and smile.
Those two were the greatest gift ever, sent at just the right time.
Thanks for sharing such a honest and heart-warming reflection!
very well written story and grateful that Ali came into your life!
Beautiful! Indeed when we reach out to help others whether human or animals, we are in fact also helping ourselves to heal, to love and to understand. Thank you for always making my day just a little bit brighter! HUG!
random act of kindness :)