小时候，我最没耐心的就是这个。五年级的时候，加德纳老师提问，我总是兴奋地举手。他给了我几次机会后，会试着让其他同学也有机会。但我的手却一直举在空中，过了一会儿，我就开始不耐烦地挥舞；后来，这个动作被戏称为“病毒式传播”。还有一次，我报了个架子鼓班。我兴致勃勃地想和大家一起玩架子鼓，结果第一节课我们只能一遍又一遍地练习一个节奏。之后我就再也没去过。
如果我在斯坦福棉花糖实验中表现糟糕，那肯定不行。在这项经典的实验中，研究人员让孩子们选择是立即吃一颗棉花糖，还是稍后吃两颗。结果显示，那些能够等待15分钟的孩子，SAT考试成绩比其他人高出210分。耐心（patience）一词源于拉丁语“pati”，意为“承受痛苦，忍受”。这是一种流行的解释，也让我们对一些故事肃然起敬，比如那位体弱多病、没有土地的印度农民，他费尽心力地移山。这位农民独自一人凿了22年，最终建成了一条长1公里、宽16英尺的通道，将他的村庄与医院等重要资源连接起来。由此可见，延迟满足或忍受痛苦确实有其益处。但对耐心的更深入探索远不止于风险与回报。培养耐心能让我们摆脱先入为主的观念，帮助我们放下对结果的执着。我们逐渐接受这样一个事实：我们并非总能或立即知道什么是最好的，并学会认识到我们所处的现实处于不断变化之中。耐心能提升我们对更深层次真理的理解，帮助我们超越自身局限的视野。而这正是耐心的价值所在。
想想老子这句意味深长的名言：“你能耐心等到泥水沉淀，水面清澈吗？你能静静等待，直到正确的行动自然而然地出现吗？”我们或许会认为“等待”意味着花费时间，但它实际上并非指时钟上的时间，而是指内心的空间。当然，有些时候，我们对某种情况的第一反应是灵光一闪的直觉，值得信赖；有些时候，我们能清晰地知道该做什么。但有时，某种经历会搅动我们内心的泥沼，这时，耐心就引导我们进入平静的过程。头脑不清，正确的行动并不显而易见，这并非坏事。毕竟，智慧正是在我们理解的边缘孕育而生。我们那些根本性的疑问可能会让我们感到沮丧，也可能激发我们积极的好奇心和无限的可能。关键在于培养足够的平静，让这些问题自然而然地出现，而不加评判。耐心在此就显得尤为重要。关键不在于寻求答案——耐心在于发现问题本身的价值。毕竟，“问题”一词的词根是“探索”，因此，这种冒险精神就蕴含在真正的提问之中。
这并非说答案不重要。答案终会到来，但往往并非我们所预期的，而且常常会引出更深层次的问题。如此一来，那些迷茫的时刻，若能耐心面对，便能化作契机，将我们的局限转化为探索的边界。当我们自以为知晓时，便期望在我们所探寻的方向上找到答案；当我们不知该何去何从时，则应保持开放的心态，关注所有方向。然而，正如老子所言，保持开放和“不动”并非意味着消极被动或缺乏信念。在表象之下，蕴藏着许多积极的行动——保持对内在变化的觉察需要付出巨大的努力和自律。这种敏锐的觉察力唤醒了我们对微妙力量的感知：我们播下的心灵种子，会成为我们言行举止的根基。而正是耐心，创造了这片内在空间。起初，淤泥——我们未经审视的反应和习以为常的解读模式——会浮出水面，但最终会沉淀下来。我们的视野也会随之清晰。我们发现，最初那些僵化的解读会逐渐放松，多种视角会随之涌现。我们开始以一种更真实、更完整、更准确的方式看待事物，也因此能够更自由地、更自觉地选择自己的行动。
一路走来，耐心之旅的根基在于明白我们当下的现实终将让位于变化。但变化并非总能如我们所愿发生，而对自己保持耐心则源于接受有些事我们可以掌控，有些事我们则无法掌控。尽管我们必须孜孜不倦地努力拓展认知边界，并加深安于当下的能力，但我们成长的速度并非由我们掌控。那个曾经急于脱口而出答案的五年级学生，如今已懂得以耐心之心面对问题的价值。因此，耐心是一种克制评判和结论的方式，一种勇敢的邀请，邀请我们的进化按照它应有的方式展开。
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An interesting sharing to learn more by sprei anti air
I realized long ago, impatience gets me nothing but frustrated, (more frustrated), sometimes we all slip up, (I did yesterday), I realized it soon after and re-adjusted myself and the reason I was impatient. My daughter is the most impatient person, she's a lot like I was back at her age (31) with 3 children, understandable of course. But trying to help her realize it only makes her blood pressure go up, her body reacts by getting headaches, and there is absolutely nothing to gain by being impatient. This article came along just in time for me, and her!
just in time for what I need!
Patience and boy do i need it ! But I also think some amount of impatience is required to stir things up sometimes, maybe i have to go a long way still to master this art but hopeful meanwhile impatience can help me be the go-getter & risk taker.
So well written.
Being patient is not about being unaffected or passive, it's about that inner peace that drives you to have faith in 'time' to clear things up for you.
This teaches some good lessons. Patience is something that is lacking in the world today. We all could be more mindful by exercising it.
the topics you cover are very interesting,sometimes left unnoticed.
daily...... gives a clear insight about small ,petty things.
"take action"section z very very good,impactful.
its the great thought and great thing to beg in with "Patience". as for example; when anybody becomes rude to us , if all of a sudden we speak and after some time we speak , there will be difference. We are blind in speaking without any patience. Thanyou for this viral...
With patience comes distance, and with distance comes a deeper perception!
Man is made in the image of God.(Genesis1:26). 'Be still,and Know that I am God (Ps.46:10).
When we realize that God is in us, there is no need to worry about the world's passing shadows.Easier said than done :)
"Patience, then, is a kind withholding of judgment and of conclusion, a valiant invitation for our evolution to unfold just as it needs to." Thank you for this, Viral! I have struggled with muddy waters and how to tell the difference between intuitive facing-fear in-the-moment and not-enough-info moments. I appreciate the reference to patience as connected to judgement and an invitation - i.e. an expression, that one is open to life's unfolding. Much more active and something I could rally behind. Yes!!
You have offered a fresh new perspective on patience. I appreciate your thoughtful and insightful reflections. This way of approaching life is so lovely and I am inspired to cultivate more patience in my life.Thank you, Viral!
~liz
nice thoughts Viral.. They came in just when i needed it the most.... Thanks a tons those wise words!
Great Article...
It's not how long one waits, it's how he behaves while waiting that makes all the difference.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SHARING...