智能手机如何扼杀对话

Recently, my wife's brother and sister-in-law visited us for a few days. Along with them came their smart-phones (my wife and I have one antiquated "dumb-phone" that we use for traveling or for certain occasions only). Of course, wherever my in-laws were, their smart-phones came along, with the requisite browsing and texting. One day we went to a beautiful botanical garden for a stroll and some picture-taking. And of course, along came the smart-phones. Well, my brother-in-law decided to separate himself from the rest of us and proceeded to text his every move to his wife, who was with the rest of us. Every few minutes of peaceful silence and enjoyment of the wonderful sights was interrupted by a barrage of texts, with their accompanying screams for attention. A wonderful outdoor moment in nature ruined. And oh, they are in their late 60s!

What we are now experiencing has been aptly termed, "Persistent Interruption Technology," and from what I can see, quite addicted to it.

I'm 61 and glad I'm on the far side of the PITs.

One general rule I make an effort to enforce with loved ones, friends. When we set down to a meal, we set down to a meal. My rule states no discussion of the following:

politics

religion

economics

money

business

sex

Further, all phones & gadgets are either off, on silent, not given interaction. If pressed I excuse the rule to help aid with digestive troubles from stress. Generally, people then, understand and comply. "Oh, yeah I guess that makes sense. If it helps us digest our food better, alright."

You might think eliminating all the above from conversation will not leave much to discuss. You're thought would err. I will tolerate discussion of spirituality, this is not religion but how a person relates to our world. I'll handle it that as long as it remains topical and doesn't get too in depth or begin to sound like proselytizing.

I'll even give a little wiggle room to politics, so long as it again stays highly topical. If someone goes to far I will kindly remind us all. "Hey, that's all good for corporations to set policies. We're having a meal. How about the quality of this food?"

Business & money talk? No, I do not want it when we eat. That kind of stuff is peddling death usually. When we eat, we're celebrating life. Even if I'm supposed to be doing some business, or having to deal with money issues. "This can wait until we've eaten. I'll bring it back up when the time is right. Thanks,"

We can also talk about gardening, household tips, health concerns. There is plenty to chit chat about. I simply prefer to not have all the normally crappy, well, crap invade a nice meal with those I love. That crap has no place in our circle. I find once others come to "break bread" with me and they get a "feel" of my rule/s of eating, they seem to appreciate and respect that. If they do not, I slide them out into outfield. I'll not waste valued time on them. They get a cold shoulder, if i even let them see the shoulder.

I do not have a cell phone, "smart" or otherwise. My wife has her phone. I just don't "get" that kind of stuff. I also do not get too enthused about gaming. I like very few puzzle types of games, a few rpg. But I'm moderate in playing even these. Don't do a lot of Facebook either. I'm on there merely to give my wife a pointer. "Oh, look, my husband!"

No, I'm not exactly a Luddite either. I'm just not "getting" a lot of stuff any more. Might be I need a college degree. Although, I'm sure it would do no good for me. There's already a lot I'm overqualified to do work wise, and I'm only a high school graduate. And there's a lot I seemingly need a college degree to do.

Well, I can grow beans & peas. :) People like eating those. People will offer help for beans & peas, they'll offer the money stuff too for my wife. She can then pay that darned Bill guy who comes monthly to collect his share.

Maybe it's because I am 63, but I've been in the computer field since I left college (tho retired now), so it's not like I've been a Luddite all my life. But I, too, have begun to abhor the fascination with cellphones. I look around public spaces, like my gym, and it's almost comical how all eyes are glued to their devices. I'm not a big socializer, either, but I don't use a cell phone as the mask others do to avoid even meeting the eyes of a person across a room.

But my biggest disappointment involves being called by people on their cell phones, when they are obviously driving, or walking, or shopping, etc. At first I tried to rationalize my disturbed feelings away, knowing how much "it makes sense" to use time like that to make calls or handle things. They were still talking completely to me, just getting something else done.

But the feelings persisted. Finally, I pinpointed the problem. It was ME that was the "something else to get done". Can check off the "keeping in touch with friends/family" box, without it actually taking up any of one's time.

One particular friend, who I've known for about 30 years and was very, very close to, seems puzzled by my seeming to distance him, not always answering his calls, or calling him back. But I remember when we used to sit for hours together, sharing deep conversations, including our feelings about important issues in our lives. (We happened to be going thru marital breakups at the same time, so naturally found it nice to have someone to share deep feelings with.)

What he doesn't seem to get, is that every time he calls me while he's food shopping, or driving, pausing while he looks for a street, or a brand of cereal, or whatever, our conversations never get past the "rained hard today, didn't it?" or "yeah, work is a pain" stuff. I especially noticed it because he remarried in those years, and happens to be divorcing again, and I thought maybe he could use someone to talk to, so I was trying to be there and not ignore his calls. But I finally gave up, and have gone back to checking off my own box, something like "have I gone too many calls in a row without answering?" so give him the chunk of time ... until his shopping trip is over, or he's found the location he was driving to.

I find it very sad. But I've accepted it. It's an introspective time for me, so it's fine that many of my friends are so "busy". Maybe if they seemed happier I'd be convinced it was a good thing, but too many of them seem to recognize there's a lack, but have no clue the connection to how they've reduced their conversations to something they can check off while they do something else.

Sad.