我们为何将他人拒之门外，以及我们应该如何应对

I cannot help but think the first step might be our vocabulary:
I have been listening to the words we use in politics and in our everyday conversations and media. Military, sports, or just plain violent words dominate: Win, Lose, Battle, Fight, Killed it, Attack, Target, Warrior, Take a Stab at It, Plan of Attack… As we speak, so we think. Words are company, of course. They accompany us everywhere we go, invade us hundreds of times a day through various media, frame our thoughts, empower our feelings. With violent, aggressive words constantly on the tips of our tongues and in the headlines, it is little wonder we are where we are. These words originated in a time of scarcity, individual and tribal safety, and survival. It is quite a journey to become aware of them and change them as I have noticed in adjusting my own vocabulary. They are so engrained that, even when aware, it is difficult. As a start, I would love to see us try to refrain from using military, sports or violent words for one day just to become aware of the ubiquity. As long as our purpose is fighting and winning battles whether in politics, religion, business, and so many other endeavors, a higher purpose of service will evade us and we will continue to build walls. A recent quote from Daily Good: "Words are but the vague shadows of the volumes we mean. Little audible links, they are, chaining together great inaudible feelings and purposes." Theodore Dreiser

It's everywhere: If you truly enjoy solitude, actually crave solitude and live it, you will be unhealthy and unhappy in your very short life. Oh my! yes that is some people and I don't question the research, but it's too small a group to cover all types, and those other types need to be known as possibly well and thriving. From my own experience and others I have read about, having solitude, silence, time to create, to live an interior life is what brings beauty, meaning, fulfillment. and good health. And I do question the idea that the purpose of a human life is happiness. Isn't happiness a by-product of living a meaningful life?

I am over 80 years old, and I have had close to 20 years of the most fulfilling part of my life, by seeking out solitude after a very active life heading social organizations and very much part of a community--and rearing a large family. Through that time I always craved for solitude. I'd hide in closets to get it. To have time for creative work and solitude was a dream. I have that dream now and I am very healthy--take no medicines, and deeply value every day alone. I do teach prisoners by mail through College Guild, but that is still part of my solitude. In a week I may not see a human being. In my woods I have connection to all kinds of beings, none human.

So I'm speaking up for those of us who are not going to die from lack of human relationship. ((I do know of those who die because of it!) who are not lonely, and who live meaningful lives with times of great joy. It would be so good not to hear these kinds of suggestive assumptions coming from the medical or sociological disciplines. History and the present have abundant examples of people who preferred solitude and lived long, healthful and giving years. May we recognize the benefits of that kind of lifestyle for some, and help to stop the idea that is out there--that loners are usually psychological misfits and maybe even dangerous.