或许最能体现积极思考的格言就是“生活给了你柠檬，那就把它做成柠檬汁”。这句谚语的道理显而易见，我们从未质疑过它的智慧。但只要稍加探究，就能发现这种论证中的缺陷。
首先，命运真的给了你一颗柠檬吗？还是这仅仅是你最初的、不假思索的反应？其次，柠檬真的是一件坏事吗？你宁愿没有它，但既然已经得到了，你就能想办法把它变成柠檬水吗？最后，在学会如何把柠檬变成柠檬水之前，被递上一颗柠檬确实会让人感到压力很大。你真的需要经历这个阶段吗？
无论生活中发生什么，我们往往都会将其归类为“好”或“坏”。而且，我们大多数人使用“坏”这个标签的频率是“好”的三到十倍。当我们认定某件事是坏事时，它最终变成坏事的可能性就大大增加。这时，我们就需要积极思考。我们遇到了一件糟糕的事情，就像拿到了一颗柠檬，我们最好努力把它榨成柠檬汁，从这种“糟糕”的处境中挽救一些东西。
真是太累太麻烦了！
现在回想一下你的人生。你是否记得一些起初觉得很糟糕，但最终却发现其实并没有那么糟，甚至是一件非常棒的事情？比如，你错过了一班火车，不得不等整整一个小时才能等到下一班，这感觉糟透了，但幸运的是，你的邻居也错过了火车，你们因此第一次交谈，并发展出一段美好的友谊。你会发现人生中有很多这样的例子，其中一些意义非凡，例如你梦寐以求的工作却没能得到，但后来却发现一个更好的机会出现了，如果不是因为之前的拒绝，你可能不会接受这个更好的机会。
现在，让我们提出一个激进且革命性的观点。我们建议，无论你遭遇什么，都不要给它贴上“坏事”的标签。无论是什么事。你被解雇了……你的抵押贷款机构寄来了止赎通知……你的配偶提出了离婚……或者其他任何事。这听起来似乎有些荒谬可笑。当然，这些都是可怕的悲剧，是令人痛心的事。真的是这样吗？有没有可能，仅仅是可能，你已经被潜移默化地灌输了将这些事件视为难以言喻的悲剧的观念，因此才以这种态度去体验它们？
维克多·弗兰克尔在他的著作《活出生命的意义》中讲述了一个出身优渥的美丽女孩的故事。她对身处集中营感到感激，因为在那里她得以接触到自己从未发现的精神层面。诸如此类的观察促使弗兰克尔投身于他毕生的研究，试图探究为何有些人面对极端逆境时能够蓬勃发展，而有些人却会走向崩溃。
许多最终凯旋而归的人，从不把他们所经历的苦难视为坏事，也从不为此哀叹。他们只是将其视为理所当然，就像土木工程师勘测道路建设的地形一样。在他们看来，沼泽并非坏事，而仅仅是施工计划中必须考虑的因素。
如果你从不把某件事贴上“坏”的标签，那么你就不需要积极思考，所有与遇到坏事并经历坏事带来的压力，以及直到你找到从中变出好结果的方法之前所感受到的压力，都会消失。
这就是积极思考的最大障碍。“这太糟糕了，真的太糟糕了，简直就是个柠檬。但我总能想办法把它榨成柠檬汁，也许就不会那么糟糕了。”一开始你觉得很糟糕，然后你又觉得总能想办法让它好一些，但内心深处却有一种强烈的错觉，那就是你在自欺欺人。有些人成功了，但很多人失败了。那些失败的人会感到无比沮丧，因为他们苦心构建的模式最终崩塌了。这就是为什么积极思考有时反而有害。
你真的可以不把发生在你身上的事情贴上“好”或“坏”的标签吗？当然可以。你需要训练自己做到这一点。你已经习惯于把事情看作是好或坏。你可以打破这种习惯。这既不容易也不快捷，但并非不可能。
假设你摔断了腿。你必须做一些事情，比如去看骨科医生，把骨头复位，拆掉石膏后还要做康复治疗。但除此之外，你还会背负很多负面情绪，比如“为什么这种事会发生在我身上？坏事总是找上门来。我好痛啊。现在我残疾了，谁来支撑这个世界？”等等。这些都只是你的负担。你其实不必背负这些重担，你之所以背负着它们，只是因为从来没有人告诉你，你不必如此。
我现在就告诉你，别给自己找麻烦。别把发生在你身上的事都贴上“坏事”的标签。这样你就不需要刻意去想好事，生活中很多压力也会迎刃而解。砰！就这么简单。
© 2010 Srikumar Rao， 《职场幸福：无论发生什么，都要保持韧性、积极性和成功》一书的作者。本文经Srikumar Rao （亦在Twitter上）许可转载，他是广受欢迎的“创造力与个人精进计划”的创始人。
COMMUNITY REFLECTIONS
SHARE YOUR REFLECTION
16 PAST RESPONSES
I want to show gratitude for writing such a good feature
article, really will support me out in frequent ways…
Sometimes when life hands you a lemon, you can say, "No, thank you. I think I'll have a big juicy strawberry this time, please.
The same goes for "good" things that happen to us which may turn out to be so good in retrospect.
It presents a foothold for me, however, for hope, which has dwindled in my life as of late as the "bad" appears to have accumulated. Someday, some of this might appear lucky.
Its not easy when one is passing through a hard time and even if they tell you you are not alone you still feeel alone......
This brings to mind why I have never seen a book titled
"Why Good Things Happen to Bad People." It’s as arbitrary as its counterpart. I agree with many of the comments, but growing up in America I really haven't experienced a bad life--a few bad experiences definitely. I often wonder how people view what has happened to them, their cutural, or their country when disaster or war hits.
Yes, some people believe they have been handed a lemon and except what is, is. Others choose to find another path by leaving the situation behind them and finding another spot in the world that makes himor her happier.
I embrace and practice positive thinking every chance I get, it does make difference.
We're not homeless; we're camping. With really crappy gear and no hope of a warm bed and shower ever again. Those police officers aren't chasing us; it's all an elaborate game of tag where we're always it.
That foreclosed house isn't vacant; it's resting from all it's years of faithful service.
Articles like this make me feel wonder if the author really responds with a perky little aphorism when their dog dies, their partner runs off with a bar girl and their car throws a transmission. I'm betting they don't.
All of this is just a means of shaming those suffering into shutting up so that the rest of us can get on with our hedonism.
Facts are realities on ground whatever are the circumstances hence we must try to accept them as they are but not as they look like, only. DailGood Team deserves appreciation
I've always been able to see this in hindsight, but it's harder to buy into when I'm in the midst of of a challenging time!
But now, with enough life experience behind me, and enough retrospect in my pocket, I really can see that the "negative" situations in my life turned out to be a gift. I am trusting more and more that this really is a universal truth, and it's getting easier to remember even in the midst of a "crisis".
There is no "bad" or "good", only our perception of the situation at the time.
I fully go with the spirit of this article. This is how I live and it works fine.
Viktor Frankl mentions the story of a beautiful girl
in the concentration camp grateful for the chance to connect with her spirituality
which was not possible in a hedonistic world. “The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a
heaven of hell, a hell of heaven.”
― John Milton, Paradise Lost
Absolutely true.. a beautiful article.. I am hooked and shall start practising..
Well, after having been through a lot of "bad" throughout my life, and some "good", I still think it is what it is. Losing your family, your home, everything you loved is still BAD. All of the salient points of this article have traveled through this brain, and have to say, just take each day as it comes and try your best. It's really all you can do.
I love the thinking. Finally a philosophy of looking at a situation without needing to put it on the good/bad balance.
"whatever happens to me, happens for my good"
This is very inspiring at the right time for me.
Lately I have been feeling bad about myself and the critics I get. But your message has help me. thank you