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当一切都行不通的时候

By Peter Bregman
May 27, 2012
Source: hbr.org

我的肘部肌腱炎已经持续一年多了。就连转动门把手这样轻微的动作都会让我疼得龇牙咧嘴。我去看了我的哥哥伯蒂，他碰巧也是我的医生。

伯蒂检查我的肘部时，我跟他细数了我为了解决问题所做的一切尝试。疼痛开始时，我服用布洛芬。布洛芬无效后，我们尝试了两次皮质类固醇注射，间隔六个月。与此同时，我做了物理治疗，尝试了超声波治疗，戴了护肘，每天坚持锻炼，冰敷，还去做了针灸和按摩。走投无路之下，我甚至尝试了一种实验性疗法——富血小板血浆注射。这种疗法曾因一些知名运动员使用而引起媒体关注。注射过程极其痛苦，而且只会让我的病情加重。

“什么方法都不管用！”我抱怨道。

“我有个主意，”伯蒂说，“是我们还没试过的。”

“什么？”我希望这不会太费时费钱。

“你自己刚才也说了，”他回答说，“没什么。”

他建议我停止所有治疗六个月。“你所有试图治疗肘部的尝试可能只会加重病情，”他告诉我，“我敢打赌，几个月什么都不做，疼痛就会消失。”

我当时半信半疑，但还是决定试一试。果然，几个月后，我的疼痛就消失了。

在我上一篇博文《 将自己恢复到出厂默认设置》中，我建议什么都不做一分钟可能会有所帮助。

不过，有时候，走极端反而是值得的。在某些情况下，什么都不做——永远什么都不做——才是正确的做法。我的肌腱炎就是如此，什么都不做反而帮了我。有时候，不去试图解决问题，反而能解决问题。

这种策略很难执行，因为我们倾向于主动出击。如果出现问题，我们更喜欢积极主动地去解决它。

但请考虑这样一种想法：我们可能会花费大量的时间、精力和金钱去解决一些实际上无法用时间、精力和金钱解决的问题。

据《纽约时报》报道，2009年美国人在非处方感冒、咳嗽和咽喉药上花费了约36亿美元。然而，文章总结道，几乎没有证据表明这些药物能够治愈感冒，甚至缩短感冒病程。而且，有些药物，例如服用抗生素，还会带来副作用，甚至可能使某些人的病情加重。

换句话说，应对普通感冒的最佳策略就是什么都不做。

这种策略是否适用于医疗行业以外？如今，人们都在谈论如何通过激励措施来创建新企业。投入到激励措施中的资金和精力真的有用吗？ 考夫曼基金会发布的一项研究表明，答案是否定的。

美国人口普查局的数据显示，1977年至2005年间，每年新成立的企业数量仅波动3%至6%。该研究指出，“可能影响潜在创业者创办新公司决策的任何因素——经济衰退、扩张、税收变化、人口增长、资本稀缺或充裕、技术进步或其他因素——对美国初创企业的增长速度影响甚微。”

换句话说，刺激新企业创立的最佳策略就是什么都不做。

人际关系呢？不久前，我和一位亲近的人闹翻了。我尝试了好几次来解决问题——发邮件、打电话，甚至还送了礼物——但无论我做什么，我们俩的心情都没有好转。最终我放弃了，彻底和这个人断绝了关系。很长一段时间，我什么也没做。

最近我又见到了这个人，不知怎的，感觉我们之间的争吵好像已经过去了。嗯，大部分是这样。虽然不如争吵前那么融洽，但比我们之前努力修复关系的时候好多了。

我并不是说我们应该什么都不做来解决问题。很多时候，直面问题恰恰是解决问题的关键。把那些一直潜藏在暗处、暗流涌动的问题摆到台面上来公开讨论，往往能起到意想不到的成效。我非常支持讨论那些原本不该讨论的话题，而且我也亲眼见证过这种做法带来的奇效。

但是，如果我们忽略一些无关紧要的小事，就能避免多少不必要的争吵呢？或许我们可以对别人的弱点视而不见。或许我们可以选择原谅，而无需对方做出任何忏悔。

换句话说，有时候，解决棘手的人际关系问题的最佳策略就是什么都不做。

那么我们如何知道该做还是不做呢？

契诃夫写道：“如果一种疾病有很多种治疗方法，那就意味着这种疾病无法治愈。”如果过去的经验或数据表明多种解决方案都可行，但没有一种能够可靠地取得成功，那么或许最好的策略就是什么都不做。

此外，如果你已经尝试了两三种方法，但都没有效果，也许是时候什么都不尝试了。

我的肘部疼痛已经消失了大约两年。但我有点迷信，坦白说，我有点担心写这篇文章——如此武断地宣称我什么都没做就战胜了肌腱炎——会不会让疼痛再次袭来。

我希望这种情况不会发生。但如果真的发生了，至少现在我知道该怎么做了：什么都不做。

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JuiannaB Nov 20, 2013

Lets remember dreams don't just fall into our laps we must open our hearts and reach for the stars. It's good to be lonely as we then appreciate good company. And last but least we are never
alone as God is "always" right beside us. Never allow anyone to break your heart though we are all to fractures of the heart. Defuse those angry or insulting comments by simply saying nothing.
Lend your smile to a stranger ... he may only need it for a brief moment. And remember to say something nice, or by doing a kind gesture for someone everyday and then we know we are doing our bit, in making this world in a better place than we found. Treat yourself well all the drop the bar for no-one ... as God will deliver you exactly what you deserve and need when He see;s it the perfect time to do so .. listen carefully prior to falling asleep, after your chat or prayers as this is when God's messengers (the Angels) deliver HIS message of LOVE HOPE & FAITH in the quietist hour ...

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idBeiYin Jun 30, 2013
Well, I'm not the type of person, who easily gives up, but lately I'm coming to the point where all my responses to deal with all the appearing difficulties doesn't work and every thing is becoming just too much. For example: Trying to get a team together to live an alternative life style with people who are willing and ready to question themselves and their surrounding. Well, I tried now for 38 years and it didn't work, there is still no one who is ready to go beyond ones established mindset and do something in 'togetherness'. Now I am left nearly alone with a big mess, that has accumulated. Three broken vans, three broken fork trucks, a lot of material that needs to be sorted out - pretty overwhelming, but I do my best every day. Then the daily things: Computer doesn't work and does crazy things, Internet only works some times, the same with the telephone and so on... I have been working working every day for 12 hours for years, without any vacation... Now when I read this article a... [View Full Comment]
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Sujit Jul 15, 2012

ITS NICE AND MOTIVATING.
SUJIT

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Sundisilver May 27, 2012

 It sort of goes along with "first do no harm" (after all, even ibuprofen has its drawbacks).  Good post.  Thank you.
And I'd like to thank Daily Good for changing the way it does the quotes... no longer do I have to strain through the bright yellow enlarged quotes that used to serve as background for some of the most wonderful bits of wisdom.   This new method is MUCH better for my tired old eyes. Thank you.

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Noor a.f May 27, 2012
Well, It is great you shared your story. Sometimes if one tires, it is better to stop sometime and think other methods. But I think it is always prestige to know if the ways used were best depending how much knowledge one has about who they intended. I would say best way for conflicts is direct approach. It worked for because my face is read when it is face to face. I have another stupid behavior that when one wrongs me and I want to tell they are wrong I tell epic stories and I don't make concise statements about realm. But that doesn't work and it is not good as the person can have a lot of feelings/ideas. E.G dailygood did my example I thought of very different things I couldn't know which one is a joke or which one is true. You know, people like to get attention like me I say a lot of things esp socializing is to be somehow meaningful. That is why dailygood had been delivering messages. I tell you dad, am not against. am supportive, intelligent,caring and respectful even when peopl... [View Full Comment]
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