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Fjórar leiðir Sem Hamingja Getur skaðað þig

Á undanförnum árum höfum við séð sprengingu í vísindarannsóknum sem sýna nákvæmlega hversu jákvæðar tilfinningar eins og hamingja eru góðar fyrir okkur. Við vitum að þeir hvetja okkur til að sækjast eftir mikilvægum markmiðum og yfirstíga hindranir, vernda okkur fyrir einhverjum áhrifum streitu, tengja okkur náið við annað fólk og jafnvel koma í veg fyrir líkamlega og andlega kvilla.

Þetta hefur gert hamingjuna frekar töff. Hamingjuvísindin urðu forsíður Time , Oprah og jafnvel The Economist , og þær hafa af sér lítinn iðnað hvatningarfyrirlesara, sálfræðinga og rannsóknarfyrirtækja. Þessi vefsíða, Greater Good , inniheldur um það bil 400 greinar um hamingju og uppeldisblogg hennar fjallar sérstaklega um að ala upp hamingjusöm börn .

Augljóslega er hamingjan vinsæl. En er hamingjan alltaf góð? Getur líðan of góð einhvern tíma verið slæm? Vísindamenn eru rétt að byrja að kanna þessar spurningar af fullri ástæðu: Með því að viðurkenna hugsanlegar gildrur hamingjunnar, gerum við okkur kleift að skilja hana dýpra og við lærum að stuðla að heilbrigðara og meira jafnvægi í lífinu.

Ásamt samstarfsfélögum mínum Iris Mauss og Maya Tamir hef ég farið yfir nýjar vísindarannsóknir á myrku hliðum hamingjunnar og við höfum framkvæmt okkar eigin rannsóknir á efnið. Þessar rannsóknir hafa leitt í ljós fjórar leiðir til að hamingja gæti verið slæm fyrir okkur.

1. Of mikil hamingja getur gert þig minna skapandi – og minna öruggur.

Það kemur í ljós að hamingjan hefur kostnað í för með sér þegar hún er upplifað of mikið.

Til dæmis er okkur oft sagt að hamingja geti opnað huga okkar til að efla skapandi hugsun og hjálpað okkur að takast á við vandamál eða þrautir. Þetta er raunin þegar við upplifum hóflega hamingju. En samkvæmt frumgreiningu Mark Alan Davis frá 2008 á sambandi skaps og sköpunar, þegar fólk upplifir mikla og kannski yfirþyrmandi magn af hamingju, upplifir það ekki lengur sömu sköpunaruppörvunina. Og í öfgakenndum tilfellum eins og oflæti, missir fólk hæfileikann til að nýta og beina innri skapandi auðlindum sínum. Það sem meira er, sálfræðingurinn Barbara Fredrickson hefur komist að því að of miklar jákvæðar tilfinningar – og of litlar neikvæðar tilfinningar – gera fólk ósveigjanlegt þegar kemur að nýjum áskorunum.

Óhófleg hamingja eyðir ekki aðeins ávinningi hennar fyrir okkur – hún getur í raun leitt til sálræns skaða. Hvers vegna? Svarið kann að liggja í tilgangi og hlutverki hamingjunnar. Þegar við upplifum hamingju, beinist athygli okkar að spennandi og jákvæðum hlutum í lífi okkar til að hjálpa til við að viðhalda góðu tilfinningunni. Þegar við erum hamingjusöm höfum við líka tilhneigingu til að finnast minna hömluð og líklegri til að kanna nýja möguleika og taka áhættu.

Taktu þessa virkni hamingju til hins ýtrasta. Ímyndaðu þér einhvern sem hefur yfirþyrmandi drifkraft til að sinna aðeins jákvæðu hlutunum í kringum sig og taka áhættu af gríðarlegum hlutföllum. Þeir gætu haft tilhneigingu til að líta framhjá eða vanrækja viðvörunarmerki í umhverfi sínu, eða taka djörf stökk og áhættusöm skref jafnvel þegar ytri merki gefa til kynna að hagnaður sé ólíklegur.

Fólk í þessari auknu „hamingjuofdrifnu“-ham tekur þátt í áhættusamari hegðun og hefur tilhneigingu til að hunsa ógnir, þar á meðal óhóflega áfengisneyslu, ofát, kynferðislegt lauslæti og fíkniefnaneyslu. Í rannsókn árið 1993 komust sálfræðingurinn Howard S. Friedman og félagar að því að börn á skólaaldri sem foreldrar og kennarar telja „mjög kát“ voru í meiri hættu á að deyja þegar þeim var fylgt eftir til fullorðinsára, ef til vill vegna þess að þau tóku þátt í áhættuhegðun.

Allar þessar niðurstöður benda til einnar niðurstöðu: Hamingjan getur verið best þegar hún er upplifuð í hófi — ekki of lítil, heldur ekki of mikil.

2. Hamingja hentar ekki öllum aðstæðum.

Tilfinningar okkar hjálpa okkur að aðlagast nýjum aðstæðum, áskorunum og tækifærum. Reiðin virkjar okkur til að yfirstíga hindranir; ótti gerir okkur viðvart um ógnir og tekur þátt í undirbúningskerfi okkar fyrir bardaga eða flug; sorg gefur til kynna tap. Þessar tilfinningar gera okkur kleift að mæta sérstökum þörfum í sérstöku samhengi.

Sama gildir um hamingjuna – hún hjálpar okkur að sækjast eftir og ná mikilvægum markmiðum og hvetur okkur til samstarfs við aðra. En rétt eins og við myndum ekki vilja vera reið eða sorgmædd í hverju samhengi, ættum við ekki að vilja upplifa hamingju í hverju samhengi.

Eins og sálfræðingurinn Charles Carver hefur haldið fram, gefa jákvæðar tilfinningar eins og hamingja okkur merki um að markmið okkar séu að nást, sem gerir okkur kleift að hægja á okkur, stíga til baka og hlaupa andlega. Þess vegna getur hamingjan í raun skaðað okkur í samkeppni. Lýsandi rannsóknir sem Maya Tamir gerði komust að því að fólk í hamingjusömu skapi stóð sig verr en fólk í reiðu skapi þegar þeir spila samkeppnishæfan tölvuleik.

Á minni eigin rannsóknarstofu höfum við komist að því að einstaklingar sem upplifa hamingju í óviðeigandi samhengi – eins og að horfa á kvikmynd af ungu barni grátandi eða þá senu úr Trainspotting þegar Ewan McGregor grefur í gegnum ógeðslegt saurhjúpt klósett – voru í meiri hættu á að þróa með sér tilfinningalega röskun oflætis.

Josh Gosfield/Corbis

Hamingjan hefur sinn tíma og stað — hún hentar ekki öllum aðstæðum!

3. Ekki eru allar tegundir af hamingju góðar fyrir þig.

„Hamingja“ er eitt hugtak, en það vísar til regnboga af mismunandi tilfinningabragði: Sumt gerir okkur orkumeiri, önnur hægja á okkur; sumt lætur okkur líða nær öðru fólki, annað gerir okkur gjafmildari.

En stuðlar allar tegundir af hamingju þessum ávinningi? Svo virðist ekki. Meira að segja blæbrigðaríkari greining á mismunandi tegundum hamingju bendir til þess að sum form geti í raun verið uppspretta truflunar.

Eitt dæmi er stolt, skemmtileg tilfinning sem tengist árangri og hækkaðri félagslegri stöðu eða stöðu. Sem slík er oft litið á það sem tegund jákvæðrar tilfinningar sem fær okkur til að einblína meira á okkur sjálf. Stolt getur verið gott í ákveðnum samhengi og formum, eins og að vinna erfið verðlaun eða fá stöðuhækkun.

Hins vegar, rannsóknir mínar með Sheri Johnson og Dacher Keltner komast að því að þegar við upplifum of mikið stolt eða stolt án raunverulegs verðleika, getur það leitt til neikvæðra félagslegra afleiðinga, svo sem árásargirni í garð annarra, andfélagslegrar hegðunar og jafnvel aukinnar hættu á geðraskanir eins og oflæti. Vinna í gangi á rannsóknarstofunni minni, undir forystu útskriftarnemandans Hillary Devlin, styður þá pirrandi hugmynd að sjálfsmiðaðar jákvæðar tilfinningar eins og stolt geti í raun hindrað getu okkar til að sýna samkennd, eða taka sjónarhorn annarrar manneskju á erfiðum tilfinningalegum tímum.

Niðurstaðan: Ákveðin hamingja getur stundum hindrað getu okkar til að tengjast þeim sem eru í kringum okkur.

4. Að sækjast eftir hamingju getur í raun gert þig óhamingjusaman.

Það kemur ekki á óvart að flestir vilja vera hamingjusamir. Við virðumst harðsnúin til að sækjast eftir hamingju, og þetta á sérstaklega við um Bandaríkjamenn - það er meira að segja rótgróið í sjálfstæðisyfirlýsingu okkar.

Samt er það heilbrigt að sækjast eftir hamingju? Byltingarkennd verk eftir Iris Mauss hefur nýlega stutt þá gagnsæju hugmynd að leit að hamingju geti í raun valdið meiri skaða en gagni. Reyndar, stundum, því meira sem fólk sækist eftir hamingju, því minna virðist það geta öðlast hana. Mauss sýnir að því meira sem fólk sækist eftir hamingju, því líklegra er að það setji háan viðmið fyrir hamingju - og verða síðan fyrir vonbrigðum þegar það viðmið er ekki uppfyllt. Þetta á sérstaklega við þegar fólk var í jákvæðu samhengi, eins og að hlusta á hressandi lag eða horfa á jákvæðan kvikmynd. Það er eins og því erfiðara sem maður reynir að upplifa hamingju, því erfiðara sé að finna til hamingju, jafnvel við annars skemmtilegar aðstæður.

Ég og félagar mínir erum að byggja á þessari rannsókn sem bendir til þess að leit að hamingju sé einnig tengd alvarlegum geðrænum vandamálum, svo sem þunglyndi og geðhvarfasýki. Það getur verið að leitin að hamingju sé í raun að gera sum okkar brjáluð.

Hvernig á að finna heilbrigða hamingju?

En hvernig nákvæmlega getum við náð heilbrigðum skammti af hamingju? Þetta er milljón dollara spurningin.

Í fyrsta lagi er mikilvægt að upplifa hamingjuna í réttu magni. Of lítil hamingja er álíka erfið og of mikil. Í öðru lagi hefur hamingja sinn tíma og stað og maður verður að hafa í huga samhengið eða aðstæðurnar sem maður upplifir hamingjuna í. Í þriðja lagi er mikilvægt að ná tilfinningalegu jafnvægi. Maður getur ekki upplifað hamingju á kostnað eða kostnað neikvæðra tilfinninga, eins og sorg eða reiði eða sektarkennd. Þetta eru allt hluti af flókinni uppskrift að tilfinningalegri heilsu og hjálpa okkur að öðlast meira grunnað sjónarhorn. Tilfinningalegt jafnvægi skiptir sköpum.

Að lokum er mikilvægt að sækjast eftir og upplifa hamingju af réttum ástæðum. Of mikil áhersla á að leita að hamingju sem markmið í sjálfu sér getur í raun verið sjálfsigur. Frekar en að reyna að finna hamingjuna af kostgæfni ættum við að vinna að því að byggja upp viðurkenningu á núverandi tilfinningalegu ástandi okkar, hvað sem það kann að vera. Sönn hamingja, að því er virðist, stafar af því að hlúa að góðvild í garð annarra – og sjálfum þér.

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27 PAST RESPONSES

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me123 Jun 13, 2012

This is an interesting and controversial article. I love stuff like this. First of all I do believe that too much happiness can be unhealthy, in a sence that too much water is unhealthy. you can die from too much water but it has to be gallons at one time. I think that just like a relationship if you don't argue every once in a while then how are you going to know you truly love the person and care for them.  As human beings we need different emotions, happy, sad, frustrated, infuriating; Without these emotions we can not love because we dont know what is good and what is bad. With the persuite of happeness i think the article pined the nail on the donkey with that one, as for everything else, i think they did not word it properly.  

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MegGuest Jun 5, 2012
As I read comments that criticize the article, I generally agree: problems with definition of happiness, over-emphasis on mania, surprising and I think challengable link to excessive risk choices because "happiness" might block mindful self-care.  At least one comment mentions a general feeling of "contentment" as a description of what might be meant by "happiness", and this resonates with me.   Others might add "feeling in harmony with oneself and relationship to larger world".  Still others might add "feeling a general personal confidence about oneself in relationship to larger world."One negative aspect of "happiness" I was surprised to *not* find is mentioned, but not developed. This is a link between an individual "happiness" and reduced ability to empathize.  The possibility of such a link is worthy of thought.  The culture has been through a few decades of individuals pursuing personal development, with emphasis on "individual" and "personal" .   In general, to my obse... [View Full Comment]
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Noor a.f May 29, 2012

mr Stanford of today's daily was annoyed. ms Tippett, doesn't know even smallest provocation that made Standford behave such uncontrolled behavior. you know, I didn't do anything bad. So why frightening again. The saddest thing is that Ms can't guess why you write that but she can understand you are annoyed. Review the causes please instead using force or strangling an innocent miss. She doesn't know car accidents or anything bad happened to you but she understands that you felt pain which she didn't cause. if it is that small statements "woman spoke up"which she apologized, accept apologies.  If you would like Ms completely truss in you, you have to talk where you believe she doesn't. It is simple and if you continue spinal things, you are forcing a Ms to become Mr. Ms really feels that you have some type of pain but she didn't cause-trust her.

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Noor a.f May 29, 2012

@Jeanine, am listening please. thank you

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Happiness 1st May 29, 2012

Pursuing happiness is not "BEing happy".

You are doing a disservice to people by this article.

Emotions are a sense, like taste, touch, smell, hearing and seeing.

Emotions come in response to thoughts.

They also provide guidance from your "Higher Self".

Your Higher Self sends you a message that says "that is the right direction" when you think a thought that feels better than the last thought you thought.

When your new thought feels worse the message is "You're going the wrong way now.  Turn around."

It is as simple as this and not listening to the guidance is never the right choice.

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Noor a.f May 28, 2012

@travelmmn:disqus pursuing happiness doesn't cause the two. I posit there can be relations like my case where happiness is pursued in dread. What do you think, they need to pursue? Some are said need marriage, some doctors, some divine. What do you think, Travelmmn?  

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travelernnn May 28, 2012

The assertion that research suggests that pursuit of happiness is associated with serious mental health problems, such as depression and bipolar disorder implies that pursuing happiness causes these disorders, but I would hope researchers would look into causality. I would posit that people with depression or bipolar disorder are more likely to pursue happiness, as they feel this is what they lack, which would lead to this association, not the other way around.  

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Noor a.f May 27, 2012

@3f80abfeff1e02b26cdef8954007e98c:disqus it was not wasted time. It was to knowledge and others might benefited it.
Thank you  

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Sundisilver May 27, 2012

As I was reading this, all I could think about was how wasteful is to spend so much time THINKING about why happiness is not good instead of just going out and living your life and stumbling onto little happy moments betwixt and between the others.   And then remembering to appreciate them instead of stopping to ask yourself if this is a happy moment or is this a moment that's not really good for me.   I think too much thinking about it sorta ruins the whole experience. 

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Noor a.f May 26, 2012

today's dailygood got me right. I remember operating a store of scientific research age 17. Mine wasn't nuclear but animals esp insects. My big problem was how I could keep people away from the store of the study. I was exactly like Taylor because the word "can't" I don't believe. Hazmat team and arrest isn't known and  never liked. It is always good to make understandable because one might cleaned family's contaminated for may be another family.what is the other please?catastrophic result? that is scaring and is not known. well, Taylor is with you and feels sorry for your time. Well, Washington can't say 'get this very small to die or to live with it for being honesty and stupid awesome."
 The story interested me I had forehead and eyes pain I thought Computer caused but didn't feel while I was reading today's daily.
Thank you

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Noor a.f May 25, 2012
@Kayee, well, I give my definition to the website of last night. Didn't it publish? I wrote a lot of explanations. And happy people connect people around them. but if happy people are busy on things they don't. it is a meaningful question. @be276523f26ecbd80bf429fabaafa852:disqus  , I followed the link but mbs ended anyway it was interesting how the guy talked. I will update unlimited internet. West striving materials, they are right because I one time tried a woman near her car. she was standing and I was practicing accent I just copied from a movie. So I wanted to greet her yet she saw me before. She just looked very innocent and changed the direction. I was really embarrassed because my intention wasn't to cause inconvenience. I then thought of how such issue could be addressed. I started a work. The work then threatened my well-being and sucked my savings. I then asked myself, do I deserve? I then continued not knowing realities because money lost in good is good. This story is no... [View Full Comment]
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Pat Armitstead May 25, 2012

My belief is that joy is all of it ...the very fact that we can experience all the emotions and can be at choice as to how we respond is joyful empowerment.  I like the whole notion of leading a happy, engaged and meaningful life...irrespective of current circumstances.  My radio program presents a holistic and integrated approach to wellbing, tapping into the sugnature strengths, multiple intelligences and using the art of improv ( acting) to be in the moment.  www.planetaudio.org.nz/radi...

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Rickaung May 25, 2012

The article completely misses the point about happiness. Happiness is never achieved by pursuing it. Achieving goals and material wealth gives a temporary feeling of well being but true happiness comes from within. The West seems obsessed with material gains and success believing when they have been achieved one will be happy but when one reaches the goal we change The goal Suggest listen to TED talk by Shawn Achor VERY FUNNY AND INFORMATIVE Check out this amazing TED Talk:

Shawn Achor: The happy secret to better work
http://www.ted.com/talks/sh...

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Kayce May 24, 2012

I have never met a person who is constantly in a happiness mode.  Most people that I had ever, met seem to have a range of emotions.  This sounds like an article one had to write to get their name on something just to say they have something in print.  What is the writer's definition of happiness?  I would think contentment would be a very nice goal in life and would create a balanced life as well.  This could also be described as happiness.  Can a happy person really be hindered to connect with those around them, Really? 

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Noor a.f May 24, 2012

@facebook-100002669703787:disqus  we always do many things but we have to balance them. No one can be 100% good. but what I know is that the more we try to be good the more we are.

I posted a comment to http://smartliving365.com/?...
about happiness am not sure if it waits published.

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Alex Mart May 24, 2012
This article caught my eye because it follows the kind of "too much good is bad" scare tactic of a lot of healthy living articles.I really relate with the part about the pursuit of happiness. I've always been the ambitious type, people-pleaser, cheerful host. Almost my whole life, I've poured my energy into APPEARING happy to make other people around me feel good, to make other people around me feel like I had everything under control and the world on my side.Especially once I began Health Coaching as a career, I wanted people to see that I'd figured it all out and was living the dream life. Behind closed doors, though, I was super stressed, I was binge eating sweets at night, I was feeling like a failure and a fraud, and was deeply UNhappy.It took a lot of work and opening to see how I needed to take time and energy to nourish myself, relax and feed my own soul. I was giving and working way too much - trying to be a happy success - and starving myself of the stuff a happy life is made... [View Full Comment]
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Favik May 24, 2012

what else can i say. it is all a bulk of good writig and composite combination of intellectual make-up. just really likes it.

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fhet May 24, 2012

I believe it is better to BE happy than to PURSUIT happiness. Being happy means for me, being content with my life, appreciating what is around me and experience life every second as a great gift and chance. This also includes changing things that make me angry. Enjoy your lifes, everyone! It is the only one we've got.

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Kathy @ SMART LIving 365.com May 24, 2012

I agree that the blind pursuit of happiness can be problematic--that's because we often have opposing definitions of what it really means.  That's why I wrote a blog post that defines happiness in a way that makes it more sense of well-being than just a giddy emotion...if interested, here is a link to the article....  http://smartliving365.com/?...  

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Noor a.f May 24, 2012
great science. I was one of the people who were know excited all the times. I was and I like to be happy always. Well, I agree to be more happy can make one loose creativity and loose the idea of making development. As I said I overdrive happiness but if am to employ a worker I would prefer one who doesn't overdrive happiness. I understood mine 2005 I then decided to remain middle at schools and workplaces and when free or a lone I like to look what interests me or pleases me. I had 5 face books where I followed events different names. Most of my friends I meet personally and some of them I follow facebook and they don't know am following them. Because they comment and expect me to socialize with them and I can't. So I understood I might open facebook once in a month , they would think am not respecting them. I try what I want to do and if I fail I feel like I need to be nowhere. That is why I decided to live earth as a famous person or a rich. Without the two I I can't say life is wo... [View Full Comment]
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Doreen Platt (Stumblinn) May 24, 2012
This is the first time I have ever seen an absolutely ridiculous article on one of my favorite sites (Daily Good).   Just one of the many things in it that made no sense was "People in this heightened ‘happiness overdrive’ mode engage in riskier behaviors and tend to disregard threats, including excessive alcohol consumption, binge eating, sexual promiscuity, and drug use."People who are happy do not engage in " excessive alcohol consumption, binge eating, sexual promiscuity, and drug use."   That type of behavior is what people who are seeking a way to hide from their unhappiness engage in. I drink no alcoholic beverages, eat a healthy vegetarian diet of 1200 - 1400 calories a day (I'm 4'8"), am celibate and use no recreational drugs.  When I have a day that I am feeling down, I simply examine what I am feeling and what is going on in my life and use a variety of spiritual practices to rebalance myself,  supplemented with a healthy dose of laughter yoga as needed.   No, I ... [View Full Comment]
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Rev Nagi Mato May 24, 2012

I found this article confusing and focusing more on 'mania' then anything else. Happiness is a personal thing and most times cannot be 'measured'. I find studies like this (in my personal opinion) to be a waste of time. Any study can be made to say whatever you wish it to say, depending on the outcome you are looking for.
I do agree that to feel 'too much' happiness takes one out of balance. I am more interested in balance, not just 'happiness'.

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wbblinn May 24, 2012

This is interesting...there is a Russian writer named Vadim Zeland who wrote the "Reality Transurfing" books in which he describes the downside of creating what he calls "excessive potentials"  The book is eaoteric in every way, but so much of what he says makes sense and reading this article made me think of his books.  At Manifesting Greatness we are always walking that fine line of wanting something but always from a place of knowing it is already there (otherwise we are putting out the vibration of lack, which then is matched by the outer factual world).  It is so fascinating how this external outer world is constantly reflecting back to us our inner state of being, the question is are you working to manipulate the outer world by seeking happiness outside yourself, or is the quest one that starts from, and unfolds from, within.  The only way "happiness" could possibly be bad for us is because we've forgotten its ultimate source

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Rosie May 24, 2012

Thanks for the article, I found it really encouraging! It is good to be reminded that the acceptance of the whole of life is where we find balance.  Also, I am reminded of a church seminar I attended a few years ago which was titled 'The Pursuit of Happiness?'  The main lesson I got from that seminar was that happiness is not so much a goal, but more a side effect of a balanced and holistically healthy life, of which conciously treating other people as you would like to be treated (aka kindness!), is an integral part.  I remember thinking as a child that if everybody looked out for everybody else then everybody would be looked after - I find it hard to argue with my ten year old logic, now I just have to remember to keep my end up in the grown up world, where not everyone plays by that rule!

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deborah j barnes May 24, 2012
instead "of pursuing happinessitself"..i find that acknowledging that i am part of the greater whole oflife and at once and the same a unique being (i am) gives  me the courage to believe in my self and myreason to be “here.” This opens the path of seeking  the "genie" the gift we are all bornwith that we are wired to share with the world. This whole vision thinkingcreates a happy that thrives on the risks taken in “true direction” and opensour minds to new possibilities as we grow into our “beingness”   As this resonates with "knowing" - a thoughtemotion convergence zone nestled physically in the core - you know it when youfeel it!! Getting past our cultural boundaries is the hardest part; the oldbeliefs are always ready to pull one under. Acknowledge and look for solutions that are beyond the "down" As you bring your gift forward, your strength and happiness expand, it is so worth it!  Then be grateful…thank the universe for the dance!Just experiment, see what un... [View Full Comment]
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Sharon May 24, 2012

Maybe I'm not seeing what the definition of happiness is in this article?  I consider myself happy, most of the time.  And I equate that with being content with my life.  I trust people until I am proven wrong, I try to see good in everyone, and sometimes that is difficult.  I also try not to judge and criticize, and sometimes that's pretty difficult too!  But all in all, I like my life, and I think I'm pretty happy with it.

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Michael West May 24, 2012

This article is poorly thought out and a real disappointment. If there are different kinds of happiness, why save that for point 3? It would make more sense to identify them at the outset and discuss how they may differ and create different challenges. Really, this reads like an off-the-cuff meandering across the topic, not something to be taken seriously.