حالیہ برسوں میں، ہم نے سائنسی تحقیق کا ایک دھماکہ دیکھا ہے جس میں یہ واضح طور پر ظاہر کیا گیا ہے کہ خوشی جیسے مثبت احساسات ہمارے لیے کتنے اچھے ہیں۔ ہم جانتے ہیں کہ وہ ہمیں اہم اہداف حاصل کرنے اور رکاوٹوں پر قابو پانے، تناؤ کے کچھ اثرات سے بچانے، ہمیں دوسرے لوگوں کے ساتھ قریبی رابطہ قائم کرنے، اور یہاں تک کہ جسمانی اور ذہنی بیماریوں سے بچنے کی ترغیب دیتے ہیں۔
اس نے خوشی کو کافی جدید بنا دیا ہے۔ خوشی کی سائنس نے ٹائم ، اوپرا ، اور یہاں تک کہ دی اکانومسٹ کے سرورق بنائے ہیں، اور اس نے حوصلہ افزا مقررین، سائیکو تھراپسٹ، اور تحقیقی اداروں کی ایک چھوٹی صنعت کو جنم دیا ہے۔ یہ ویب سائٹ، گریٹر گڈ ، خوشی کے بارے میں تقریباً 400 مضامین پیش کرتی ہے، اور اس کا والدین کا بلاگ خاص طور پر خوش بچوں کی پرورش کے بارے میں ہے۔
واضح طور پر، خوشی مقبول ہے. لیکن کیا خوشی ہمیشہ اچھی ہوتی ہے؟ کیا بہت اچھا محسوس کرنا کبھی برا ہو سکتا ہے؟ محققین اچھی وجہ کے ساتھ ان سوالات کو سنجیدگی سے دریافت کرنا شروع کر رہے ہیں: خوشی کے ممکنہ نقصانات کو پہچان کر، ہم خود کو اس قابل بناتے ہیں کہ وہ اسے مزید گہرائی سے سمجھ سکیں اور ہم صحت مند اور زیادہ متوازن زندگی کو بہتر طور پر فروغ دینا سیکھیں۔
اپنے ساتھیوں ایرس ماس اور مایا تمیر کے ساتھ، میں نے خوشی کے تاریک پہلو پر ابھرتی ہوئی سائنسی تحقیق کا جائزہ لیا ہے، اور ہم نے اس موضوع پر اپنی تحقیق کی ہے۔ ان مطالعات نے چار طریقے بتائے ہیں کہ خوشی ہمارے لیے بری ہو سکتی ہے۔
1. بہت زیادہ خوشی آپ کو کم تخلیقی اور کم محفوظ بنا سکتی ہے۔
جب بہت شدت سے تجربہ کیا جائے تو خوشی کی قیمت ہوتی ہے۔
مثال کے طور پر، ہمیں اکثر بتایا جاتا ہے کہ خوشی ہمارے ذہنوں کو مزید تخلیقی سوچ کو فروغ دینے اور مسائل یا پہیلیوں سے نمٹنے میں مدد دے سکتی ہے۔ یہ معاملہ ہے جب ہم اعتدال پسند خوشی کا تجربہ کرتے ہیں۔ لیکن مارک ایلن ڈیوس کے مزاج اور تخلیقی صلاحیتوں کے درمیان تعلق کے 2008 کے میٹا تجزیہ کے مطابق، جب لوگ شدید اور شاید حد سے زیادہ خوشی کا تجربہ کرتے ہیں، تو وہ تخلیقی صلاحیتوں کو مزید فروغ نہیں دیتے۔ اور انماد جیسے انتہائی معاملات میں، لوگ اپنے اندرونی تخلیقی وسائل کو ٹیپ کرنے اور چینل کرنے کی صلاحیت کھو دیتے ہیں۔ مزید کیا ہے، ماہر نفسیات باربرا فریڈرکسن نے پایا ہے کہ بہت زیادہ مثبت جذبات — اور بہت کم منفی جذبات — لوگوں کو نئے چیلنجوں کا سامنا کرنے کے لیے بے لچک بنا دیتے ہیں۔
نہ صرف ضرورت سے زیادہ خوشی بعض اوقات ہمارے لیے اس کے فوائد کو ختم کر دیتی ہے بلکہ یہ درحقیقت نفسیاتی نقصان کا باعث بھی بن سکتی ہے۔ کیوں؟ اس کا جواب خوشی کے مقصد اور کام میں مضمر ہو سکتا ہے۔ جب ہم خوشی کا تجربہ کرتے ہیں، تو ہماری توجہ ہماری زندگی میں دلچسپ اور مثبت چیزوں کی طرف موڑ دیتی ہے تاکہ اچھے احساس کو برقرار رکھنے میں مدد ملے۔ جب خوشی محسوس کرتے ہیں، تو ہم بھی کم روکے ہوئے محسوس کرتے ہیں اور نئے امکانات کو تلاش کرنے اور خطرات مول لینے کا زیادہ امکان رکھتے ہیں۔
خوشی کے اس فعل کو انتہا تک لے جائیں۔ کسی ایسے شخص کا تصور کریں جس کے پاس صرف اپنے آس پاس کی مثبت چیزوں میں شرکت کرنے اور بہت زیادہ تناسب کا خطرہ مول لینے کے لئے زبردست ڈرائیو ہے۔ وہ اپنے ماحول میں انتباہی علامات کو نظر انداز یا نظر انداز کر سکتے ہیں، یا جب ظاہری نشانیاں بتاتی ہیں کہ فائدہ کا امکان نہیں ہے، اس وقت بھی جرات مندانہ چھلانگیں اور خطرناک قدم اٹھا سکتے ہیں۔
اس بلند ترین 'خوشی اوور ڈرائیو' موڈ میں لوگ خطرناک رویوں میں مشغول ہوتے ہیں اور خطرات کو نظر انداز کرتے ہیں، بشمول زیادہ الکحل کا استعمال، بہت زیادہ کھانا، جنسی بے راہ روی، اور منشیات کا استعمال۔ 1993 کی ایک تحقیق میں، ماہر نفسیات ہاورڈ ایس فریڈمین اور ساتھیوں نے پایا کہ اسکول جانے والے بچوں کو والدین اور اساتذہ کی جانب سے "انتہائی خوش مزاج" قرار دیا جاتا ہے، جوانی کے بعد موت کا خطرہ زیادہ ہوتا ہے، شاید اس لیے کہ وہ زیادہ خطرہ مول لینے والے رویوں میں مصروف تھے۔
یہ تمام نتائج ایک نتیجے کی طرف اشارہ کرتے ہیں: اعتدال میں تجربہ کرنے پر خوشی بہترین ہو سکتی ہے—بہت کم نہیں، بلکہ بہت زیادہ بھی نہیں۔
2. خوشی ہر حال کے لیے موزوں نہیں ہوتی۔
ہمارے جذبات ہمیں نئے حالات، چیلنجوں اور مواقع کے مطابق ڈھالنے میں مدد کرتے ہیں۔ غصہ ہمیں رکاوٹوں پر قابو پانے کے لیے متحرک کرتا ہے۔ خوف ہمیں خطرات سے آگاہ کرتا ہے اور ہمارے لڑنے یا پرواز کی تیاری کے نظام کو مشغول کرتا ہے۔ اداسی نقصان کا اشارہ دیتی ہے۔ یہ جذبات ہمیں مخصوص سیاق و سباق میں مخصوص ضروریات کو پورا کرنے کے قابل بناتے ہیں۔
خوشی کے لیے بھی ایسا ہی ہوتا ہے — یہ ہمیں اہم مقاصد کو حاصل کرنے اور حاصل کرنے میں مدد کرتا ہے، اور ہمیں دوسروں کے ساتھ تعاون کرنے کی ترغیب دیتا ہے۔ لیکن جس طرح ہم ہر سیاق و سباق میں ناراض یا غمگین محسوس نہیں کرنا چاہیں گے، ہمیں ہر سیاق و سباق میں خوشی کا تجربہ نہیں کرنا چاہیے۔
جیسا کہ ماہر نفسیات چارلس کارور نے استدلال کیا ہے، خوشی جیسے مثبت جذبات ہمیں اس بات کا اشارہ دیتے ہیں کہ ہمارے اہداف پورے ہو رہے ہیں، جو ہمیں سست ہونے، پیچھے ہٹنے اور ذہنی طور پر ساحل کرنے کے قابل بناتا ہے۔ اسی لیے خوشی دراصل مقابلہ میں ہمیں نقصان پہنچا سکتی ہے۔ مایا تمیر کی طرف سے کیے گئے روشن مطالعے سے پتا چلا ہے کہ مسابقتی کمپیوٹر گیم کھیلنے کے دوران خوش مزاج افراد غصے کے موڈ میں لوگوں سے زیادہ خراب کارکردگی کا مظاہرہ کرتے ہیں۔
میری اپنی لیبارٹری میں، ہم نے پایا ہے کہ وہ افراد جو نامناسب سیاق و سباق میں خوشی کا تجربہ کرتے ہیں — جیسے کہ ایک چھوٹے بچے کے روتے ہوئے فلم دیکھنا یا ٹرین اسپاٹنگ کا وہ منظر جب ایون میک گریگر ایک مکروہ پاخانے سے ڈھکے بیت الخلا میں کھودتے ہیں — انماد کے جذباتی عارضے کی نشوونما کے لیے زیادہ خطرہ تھے۔
جوش گوسفیلڈ/کوربیس خوشی کا ایک وقت اور ایک مقام ہوتا ہے — یہ ہر صورتحال کے لیے موزوں نہیں ہے!
3. ہر قسم کی خوشی آپ کے لیے اچھی نہیں ہے۔
"خوشی" ایک واحد اصطلاح ہے، لیکن اس سے مراد جذبات کے مختلف ذائقوں کی قوس قزح ہے: کچھ ہمیں زیادہ توانائی بخشتے ہیں، کچھ ہمیں سست کر دیتے ہیں۔ کچھ ہمیں دوسرے لوگوں کے قریب محسوس کرتے ہیں، کچھ ہمیں زیادہ سخی بناتے ہیں۔
لیکن کیا ہر قسم کی خوشی ان فوائد کو فروغ دیتی ہے؟ ایسا نہیں لگتا۔ درحقیقت، خوشی کی مختلف اقسام کا ایک زیادہ باریک تجزیہ یہ بتاتا ہے کہ کچھ شکلیں درحقیقت ناکارہ ہونے کا سبب بن سکتی ہیں۔
ایک مثال فخر ہے، کامیابی سے منسلک ایک خوشگوار احساس اور اعلیٰ سماجی درجہ یا حیثیت۔ اس طرح، یہ اکثر مثبت جذبات کی ایک قسم کے طور پر دیکھا جاتا ہے جو ہمیں خود پر زیادہ توجہ مرکوز کرتا ہے۔ فخر کچھ سیاق و سباق اور شکلوں میں اچھا ہو سکتا ہے، جیسے کہ مشکل انعام جیتنا یا نوکری پر ترقی حاصل کرنا۔
تاہم، شیری جانسن اور ڈیچر کیلٹنر کے ساتھ میری تحقیق سے پتا چلا ہے کہ جب ہم حقیقی قابلیت کے بغیر بہت زیادہ فخر یا فخر محسوس کرتے ہیں، تو یہ منفی سماجی نتائج کا باعث بن سکتا ہے، جیسے کہ دوسروں کے لیے جارحیت، غیر سماجی رویہ، اور یہاں تک کہ انماد جیسے موڈ کی خرابی کا خطرہ بڑھ جاتا ہے۔ میری لیبارٹری میں کام جاری ہے، جس کی قیادت گریجویٹ طالب علم ہلیری ڈیولن کر رہی ہے، اس طنزیہ تصور کی تائید کرتا ہے کہ فخر جیسے خود پر مرکوز مثبت جذبات درحقیقت مشکل جذباتی اوقات میں ہمدردی کرنے یا کسی دوسرے شخص کے نقطہ نظر کو اپنانے کی ہماری صلاحیت کو روک سکتے ہیں۔
بنیادی بات: بعض قسم کی خوشیاں بعض اوقات اپنے آس پاس کے لوگوں سے رابطہ قائم کرنے کی ہماری صلاحیت کو روک سکتی ہیں۔
4. خوشی کا حصول درحقیقت آپ کو ناخوش کر سکتا ہے۔
حیرت کی بات نہیں، زیادہ تر لوگ خوش رہنا چاہتے ہیں۔ ہم خوشی کے حصول کے لیے سخت محنتی لگتے ہیں، اور یہ خاص طور پر امریکیوں کے لیے سچ ہے — یہ ہمارے اعلانِ آزادی میں بھی شامل ہے۔
ابھی تک خوشی کا تعاقب صحت مند ہے؟ Iris Mauss کی طرف سے گراؤنڈ بریکنگ کام نے حال ہی میں متضاد خیال کی حمایت کی ہے کہ خوشی کے لئے کوشش کرنا اصل میں اچھے سے زیادہ نقصان پہنچا سکتا ہے. درحقیقت، بعض اوقات، جتنے زیادہ لوگ خوشی کا پیچھا کرتے ہیں، اتنا ہی کم وہ اسے حاصل کرنے میں کامیاب دکھائی دیتے ہیں۔ Mauss ظاہر کرتا ہے کہ لوگ خوشی کے لیے جتنے زیادہ کوشش کریں گے، اتنا ہی زیادہ امکان ہے کہ وہ خوشی کے لیے ایک اعلیٰ معیار قائم کریں گے — پھر جب وہ معیار پورا نہیں ہوتا ہے تو مایوس ہو جاتے ہیں۔ یہ خاص طور پر سچ ہے جب لوگ مثبت سیاق و سباق میں تھے، جیسے کہ ایک پرجوش گانا سننا یا کوئی مثبت فلمی کلپ دیکھنا۔ یہ ایسا ہی ہے جیسے خوشی کا تجربہ کرنے کی جتنی مشکل کوشش کرتا ہے، حقیقت میں خوشی محسوس کرنا اتنا ہی مشکل ہوتا ہے، یہاں تک کہ خوشگوار حالات میں بھی۔
میں اور میرے ساتھی اس تحقیق پر کام کر رہے ہیں، جس سے پتہ چلتا ہے کہ خوشی کی تلاش کا تعلق ذہنی صحت کے سنگین مسائل، جیسے ڈپریشن اور بائی پولر ڈس آرڈر سے بھی ہے۔ یہ ہو سکتا ہے کہ خوشی کے لیے کوشش کرنا دراصل ہم میں سے کچھ کو دیوانہ بنا رہا ہے۔
صحت مند خوشی کیسے تلاش کی جائے؟
لیکن ہم خوشی کی صحت مند خوراک کیسے حاصل کر سکتے ہیں؟ یہ ملین ڈالر کا سوال ہے۔
سب سے پہلے، صحیح مقدار میں خوشی کا تجربہ کرنا ضروری ہے۔ بہت کم خوشی اتنی ہی پریشانی کا باعث ہے جتنا کہ بہت زیادہ۔ دوسرا، خوشی کا ایک وقت اور ایک مقام ہوتا ہے، اور کسی کو اس سیاق و سباق یا صورت حال کے بارے میں ذہن نشین ہونا چاہیے جس میں خوشی کا تجربہ ہوتا ہے۔ تیسرا، جذباتی توازن برقرار رکھنا ضروری ہے۔ منفی جذبات، جیسے اداسی یا غصہ یا جرم کی قیمت یا قیمت پر کوئی خوشی کا تجربہ نہیں کر سکتا۔ یہ سب جذباتی صحت کے لیے ایک پیچیدہ نسخے کا حصہ ہیں اور ہمیں ایک زیادہ زمینی نقطہ نظر حاصل کرنے میں مدد کرتے ہیں۔ جذباتی توازن بہت ضروری ہے۔
آخر میں، صحیح وجوہات کی بنا پر خوشی کا پیچھا کرنا اور اس کا تجربہ کرنا ضروری ہے۔ خوشی کے لیے کوشش کرنے پر بہت زیادہ توجہ خود کو ختم کرنے کے لیے درحقیقت خود کو شکست دے سکتی ہے۔ خوشی تلاش کرنے کی کوشش کرنے کے بجائے، ہمیں اپنی موجودہ جذباتی حالت کو قبول کرنے کے لیے کام کرنا چاہیے، چاہے وہ کچھ بھی ہو۔ ایسا لگتا ہے کہ حقیقی خوشی دوسروں کے ساتھ اور اپنے تئیں مہربانی کو فروغ دینے سے حاصل ہوتی ہے۔
COMMUNITY REFLECTIONS
SHARE YOUR REFLECTION
27 PAST RESPONSES
This is an interesting and controversial article. I love stuff like this. First of all I do believe that too much happiness can be unhealthy, in a sence that too much water is unhealthy. you can die from too much water but it has to be gallons at one time. I think that just like a relationship if you don't argue every once in a while then how are you going to know you truly love the person and care for them. As human beings we need different emotions, happy, sad, frustrated, infuriating; Without these emotions we can not love because we dont know what is good and what is bad. With the persuite of happeness i think the article pined the nail on the donkey with that one, as for everything else, i think they did not word it properly.
As I read comments that criticize the article, I generally agree: problems with definition of happiness, over-emphasis on mania, surprising and I think challengable link to excessive risk choices because "happiness" might block mindful self-care.
At least one comment mentions a general feeling of "contentment" as a description of what might be meant by "happiness", and this resonates with me. Others might add "feeling in harmony with oneself and relationship to larger world". Still others might add "feeling a general personal confidence about oneself in relationship to larger world."
One negative aspect of "happiness" I was surprised to *not* find is mentioned, but not developed. This is a link between an individual "happiness" and reduced ability to empathize. The possibility of such a link is worthy of thought.
The culture has been through a few decades of individuals pursuing personal development, with emphasis on "individual" and "personal" . In general, to my observation, this has been an excellent development. People have come to better understand themselves, have identified 'blocks', have repaired and healed with much good outcome.
As part of this self-discovery, self-help, movement, concepts of "happiness" and "positive thinking" have been emphasized and linked. "Happiness requires the practice of positive thinking." Both happiness and positive thinking have, to my observation, been treated without clear definition. Definitions are *assumed*, but unexamined. I'm going to focus on positive thinking as it may relate to reduced empathy.
To my observation - a *segment* of self-development enthusiasts practice "cultish devotion" to positive thinking. "Cult-type" emphasis includes advice such as "avoid exposure to negative thinkers or negative ideas" .
Those attached to what I characterize as cultish devotion, commonly believe that *any* life difficulty that has no immediate practical solution can be overcome by re-framing. Talk of possible causes of suffering that might be related to society's paradigms, institutions and policies lacks "bliss appeal".
Anyone offering socioeconomic political analysis may be "judged" as a negative thinker offering negative ideas. Descriptions of historical and current dynamics of power, wealth, racism, etc. are seen as unpleasant and toxic to personal well-being.
In relationship at a more personal level, cultish positive thinkers may claim they cannot "connect to" what they hear when an individual describes suffering and need. They may genuinely want to be helpful - but they can't imagine addressing human misery beyond a "make lemonade from lemons" solution.
My description of cultish devotion to positive thinking in pursuit of personal well-being (therefore a state of happiness), is incomplete. I've tried to briefly introduce "issues". The cultishness has been examined by social analysts - Barbara Ehrenreich's "Bright Sided - How Positive Thinking is Undermining America" grew from her experiences coping with cancer. She connects the dots - cancer is the experience from which she examines a wider trend. As an analyst and critic, of course, Ehrenreich can be dismissed as a "negative" thinker! http://www.barbaraehrenreic...
It seems I've "used" this article to sound off on an aside theme that I find important. The title of the article, after all, is "Four Ways Happiness Can Hurt You", not "How Pursuit of Happiness Can Reduce Empathic Capacity Within a Society". Hampered empathy is only briefly mentioned, but it caught my attention, and my study of human behavior has led me to believe lack of empathy from "happy" folk may be linked to cultish practice of "positive thinking".
I've been involved in "people watching and social criticism" for much of my life. My criticism springs from a powerful optimism about human potential! In fact, I believe conditions as we enter the 21stC "demand" that we apply valid ideas on personal happiness to community wellness, that we expand changes on behalf of personal well-being to include changes in dysfunctional institutions and policy. We learn of institutional and policy dysfunction through empathy (belief of another's struggle) and critical, analytical, examination of issues and power dynamics. Research and intuitive common sense both confirm that "felt" individual well-being depends on community context. Small personal communities always exist within larger socioeconomic political communities - of more complex dynamics. More on this can be found in the work of Richard Wilkinson and Kate Pickett, found at http://www.equalitytrust.or....
[Hide Full Comment]mr Stanford of today's daily was annoyed. ms Tippett, doesn't know even smallest provocation that made Standford behave such uncontrolled behavior. you know, I didn't do anything bad. So why frightening again. The saddest thing is that Ms can't guess why you write that but she can understand you are annoyed. Review the causes please instead using force or strangling an innocent miss. She doesn't know car accidents or anything bad happened to you but she understands that you felt pain which she didn't cause. if it is that small statements "woman spoke up"which she apologized, accept apologies. If you would like Ms completely truss in you, you have to talk where you believe she doesn't. It is simple and if you continue spinal things, you are forcing a Ms to become Mr. Ms really feels that you have some type of pain but she didn't cause-trust her.
@Jeanine, am listening please. thank you
Pursuing happiness is not "BEing happy".
You are doing a disservice to people by this article.
Emotions are a sense, like taste, touch, smell, hearing and seeing.
Emotions come in response to thoughts.
They also provide guidance from your "Higher Self".
Your Higher Self sends you a message that says "that is the right direction" when you think a thought that feels better than the last thought you thought.
When your new thought feels worse the message is "You're going the wrong way now. Turn around."
It is as simple as this and not listening to the guidance is never the right choice.
@travelmmn:disqus pursuing happiness doesn't cause the two. I posit there can be relations like my case where happiness is pursued in dread. What do you think, they need to pursue? Some are said need marriage, some doctors, some divine. What do you think, Travelmmn?
The assertion that research suggests that pursuit of happiness is associated with serious mental health problems, such as depression and bipolar disorder implies that pursuing happiness causes these disorders, but I would hope researchers would look into causality. I would posit that people with depression or bipolar disorder are more likely to pursue happiness, as they feel this is what they lack, which would lead to this association, not the other way around.
@3f80abfeff1e02b26cdef8954007e98c:disqus it was not wasted time. It was to knowledge and others might benefited it.
Thank you
As I was reading this, all I could think about was how wasteful is to spend so much time THINKING about why happiness is not good instead of just going out and living your life and stumbling onto little happy moments betwixt and between the others. And then remembering to appreciate them instead of stopping to ask yourself if this is a happy moment or is this a moment that's not really good for me. I think too much thinking about it sorta ruins the whole experience.
today's dailygood got me right. I remember operating a store of scientific research age 17. Mine wasn't nuclear but animals esp insects. My big problem was how I could keep people away from the store of the study. I was exactly like Taylor because the word "can't" I don't believe. Hazmat team and arrest isn't known and never liked. It is always good to make understandable because one might cleaned family's contaminated for may be another family.what is the other please?catastrophic result? that is scaring and is not known. well, Taylor is with you and feels sorry for your time. Well, Washington can't say 'get this very small to die or to live with it for being honesty and stupid awesome."
The story interested me I had forehead and eyes pain I thought Computer caused but didn't feel while I was reading today's daily.
Thank you
@Kayee, well, I give my definition to the website of last night. Didn't it publish? I wrote a lot of explanations. And happy people connect people around them. but if happy people are busy on things they don't. it is a meaningful question. @be276523f26ecbd80bf429fabaafa852:disqus , I followed the link but mbs ended anyway it was interesting how the guy talked. I will update unlimited internet. West striving materials, they are right because I one time tried a woman near her car. she was standing and I was practicing accent I just copied from a movie. So I wanted to greet her yet she saw me before. She just looked very innocent and changed the direction. I was really embarrassed because my intention wasn't to cause inconvenience. I then thought of how such issue could be addressed. I started a work. The work then threatened my well-being and sucked my savings. I then asked myself, do I deserve? I then continued not knowing realities because money lost in good is good. This story is not meant to provoke anyone because the story of the woman happened 2010 there was also another woman in swimming pool and another woman who worked in embassy they all seemed to not feel comfortable.
[Hide Full Comment]Thougha man who I met in consul was not displeased. He even joked. So the NGO work started this way- it is real.
My belief is that joy is all of it ...the very fact that we can experience all the emotions and can be at choice as to how we respond is joyful empowerment. I like the whole notion of leading a happy, engaged and meaningful life...irrespective of current circumstances. My radio program presents a holistic and integrated approach to wellbing, tapping into the sugnature strengths, multiple intelligences and using the art of improv ( acting) to be in the moment. www.planetaudio.org.nz/radi...
The article completely misses the point about happiness. Happiness is never achieved by pursuing it. Achieving goals and material wealth gives a temporary feeling of well being but true happiness comes from within. The West seems obsessed with material gains and success believing when they have been achieved one will be happy but when one reaches the goal we change The goal Suggest listen to TED talk by Shawn Achor VERY FUNNY AND INFORMATIVE Check out this amazing TED Talk:
Shawn Achor: The happy secret to better work
http://www.ted.com/talks/sh...
I have never met a person who is constantly in a happiness mode. Most people that I had ever, met seem to have a range of emotions. This sounds like an article one had to write to get their name on something just to say they have something in print. What is the writer's definition of happiness? I would think contentment would be a very nice goal in life and would create a balanced life as well. This could also be described as happiness. Can a happy person really be hindered to connect with those around them, Really?
@facebook-100002669703787:disqus we always do many things but we have to balance them. No one can be 100% good. but what I know is that the more we try to be good the more we are.
I posted a comment to http://smartliving365.com/?...
about happiness am not sure if it waits published.
This article caught my eye because it follows the kind of "too much good is bad" scare tactic of a lot of healthy living articles.
I really relate with the part about the pursuit of happiness. I've always been the ambitious type, people-pleaser, cheerful host. Almost my whole life, I've poured my energy into APPEARING happy to make other people around me feel good, to make other people around me feel like I had everything under control and the world on my side.
Especially once I began Health Coaching as a career, I wanted people to see that I'd figured it all out and was living the dream life. Behind closed doors, though, I was super stressed, I was binge eating sweets at night, I was feeling like a failure and a fraud, and was deeply UNhappy.
It took a lot of work and opening to see how I needed to take time and energy to nourish myself, relax and feed my own soul. I was giving and working way too much - trying to be a happy success - and starving myself of the stuff a happy life is made out of in the process. I didn't need all the sugar I was craving - I needed more sweetness in my life! Ahhhh...
[Hide Full Comment]what else can i say. it is all a bulk of good writig and composite combination of intellectual make-up. just really likes it.
I believe it is better to BE happy than to PURSUIT happiness. Being happy means for me, being content with my life, appreciating what is around me and experience life every second as a great gift and chance. This also includes changing things that make me angry. Enjoy your lifes, everyone! It is the only one we've got.
I agree that the blind pursuit of happiness can be problematic--that's because we often have opposing definitions of what it really means. That's why I wrote a blog post that defines happiness in a way that makes it more sense of well-being than just a giddy emotion...if interested, here is a link to the article.... http://smartliving365.com/?...
great science. I was one of the people who were know excited all the times. I was and I like to be happy always. Well, I agree to be more happy can make one loose creativity and loose the idea of making development. As I said I overdrive happiness but if am to employ a worker I would prefer one who doesn't overdrive happiness. I understood mine 2005 I then decided to remain middle at schools and workplaces and when free or a lone I like to look what interests me or pleases me. I had 5 face books where I followed events different names. Most of my friends I meet personally and some of them I follow facebook and they don't know am following them. Because they comment and expect me to socialize with them and I can't. So I understood I might open facebook once in a month , they would think am not respecting them.
I try what I want to do and if I fail I feel like I need to be nowhere. That is why I decided to live earth as a famous person or a rich. Without the two I I can't say life is worth. If someone I had been saying good many years broke me one minute I finalized that people harm.
The person I blogged first than any other thing. I was helpless more than anyone else my tears told me. I also seen sadness and I can tell when people are sad esp anger caused is very bad. So happiness is best only few people can take my pleasure but no one can return because advice only helps me to be to know something. My feelings are only solved by me. this is why I can be very happy while I should not. I have some skills to remain happy but some people can take it easily because I don't have defensive enzymes if people know me.
I am very kind. And sometimes some woman cry but really you can learn it is a kind of advertisements and achievements affects people life.
Thank you
[Hide Full Comment]This is the first time I have ever seen an absolutely ridiculous article on one of my favorite sites (Daily Good). Just one of the many things in it that made no sense was "People in this heightened ‘happiness overdrive’ mode engage in riskier behaviors and tend to disregard threats, including excessive alcohol consumption, binge eating, sexual promiscuity, and drug use."
People who are happy do not engage in " excessive alcohol consumption, binge eating, sexual promiscuity, and drug use." That type of behavior is what people who are seeking a way to hide from their unhappiness engage in.
I drink no alcoholic beverages, eat a healthy vegetarian diet of 1200 - 1400 calories a day (I'm 4'8"), am celibate and use no recreational drugs. When I have a day that I am feeling down, I simply examine what I am feeling and what is going on in my life and use a variety of spiritual practices to rebalance myself, supplemented with a healthy dose of laughter yoga as needed. No, I am not running around giggling hysterically all day but my normal emotional state ranges between calm contentment to a sense of quiet joyfulness.
My impression of this article is that the studies were done on (if not by) very emotionally unhealthy people and are not at all representative of the type of happiness that is a normal part of the daily life of someone who lives a healthy lifestyle and engages in daily spiritual practices.
Please Daily Good, think twice before posting an article like this again. I think it does a disservice to your readers.
[Hide Full Comment]I found this article confusing and focusing more on 'mania' then anything else. Happiness is a personal thing and most times cannot be 'measured'. I find studies like this (in my personal opinion) to be a waste of time. Any study can be made to say whatever you wish it to say, depending on the outcome you are looking for.
I do agree that to feel 'too much' happiness takes one out of balance. I am more interested in balance, not just 'happiness'.
This is interesting...there is a Russian writer named Vadim Zeland who wrote the "Reality Transurfing" books in which he describes the downside of creating what he calls "excessive potentials" The book is eaoteric in every way, but so much of what he says makes sense and reading this article made me think of his books. At Manifesting Greatness we are always walking that fine line of wanting something but always from a place of knowing it is already there (otherwise we are putting out the vibration of lack, which then is matched by the outer factual world). It is so fascinating how this external outer world is constantly reflecting back to us our inner state of being, the question is are you working to manipulate the outer world by seeking happiness outside yourself, or is the quest one that starts from, and unfolds from, within. The only way "happiness" could possibly be bad for us is because we've forgotten its ultimate source
Thanks for the article, I found it really encouraging! It is good to be reminded that the acceptance of the whole of life is where we find balance. Also, I am reminded of a church seminar I attended a few years ago which was titled 'The Pursuit of Happiness?' The main lesson I got from that seminar was that happiness is not so much a goal, but more a side effect of a balanced and holistically healthy life, of which conciously treating other people as you would like to be treated (aka kindness!), is an integral part. I remember thinking as a child that if everybody looked out for everybody else then everybody would be looked after - I find it hard to argue with my ten year old logic, now I just have to remember to keep my end up in the grown up world, where not everyone plays by that rule!
instead "of pursuing happiness
itself"..i find that acknowledging that i am part of the greater whole of
life and at once and the same a unique being (i am) gives me the courage to believe in my self and my
reason to be “here.” This opens the path of seeking the "genie" the gift we are all born
with that we are wired to share with the world. This whole vision thinking
creates a happy that thrives on the risks taken in “true direction” and opens
our minds to new possibilities as we grow into our “beingness” As this
resonates with "knowing" - a thought
emotion convergence zone nestled physically in the core - you know it when you
feel it!! Getting past our cultural boundaries is the hardest part; the old
beliefs are always ready to pull one under. Acknowledge and look for solutions that are beyond the "down"
As you bring your gift forward, your strength and happiness expand, it is so worth it! Then be grateful…thank the universe for the dance!
Just experiment, see what unfolds.
[Hide Full Comment]Maybe I'm not seeing what the definition of happiness is in this article? I consider myself happy, most of the time. And I equate that with being content with my life. I trust people until I am proven wrong, I try to see good in everyone, and sometimes that is difficult. I also try not to judge and criticize, and sometimes that's pretty difficult too! But all in all, I like my life, and I think I'm pretty happy with it.
This article is poorly thought out and a real disappointment. If there are different kinds of happiness, why save that for point 3? It would make more sense to identify them at the outset and discuss how they may differ and create different challenges. Really, this reads like an off-the-cuff meandering across the topic, not something to be taken seriously.