幸福的四种伤害方式

As I read comments that criticize the article, I generally agree: problems with definition of happiness, over-emphasis on mania, surprising and I think challengable link to excessive risk choices because "happiness" might block mindful self-care.  

At least one comment mentions a general feeling of "contentment" as a description of what might be meant by "happiness", and this resonates with me.   Others might add "feeling in harmony with oneself and relationship to larger world".  Still others might add "feeling a general personal confidence about oneself in relationship to larger world."

One negative aspect of "happiness" I was surprised to *not* find is mentioned, but not developed. This is a link between an individual "happiness" and reduced ability to empathize.  The possibility of such a link is worthy of thought.  

The culture has been through a few decades of individuals pursuing personal development, with emphasis on "individual" and "personal" .   In general, to my observation, this has been an excellent development.  People have come to better understand themselves, have identified 'blocks', have repaired and healed with much good outcome.  

As part of this self-discovery, self-help, movement, concepts of "happiness" and "positive thinking" have been emphasized and linked.   "Happiness requires the practice of positive thinking."  Both happiness and positive thinking have, to my observation, been treated without clear definition.  Definitions are *assumed*, but unexamined.  I'm going to focus on positive thinking as it may relate to reduced empathy.

To my observation - a *segment* of self-development enthusiasts practice "cultish devotion" to positive thinking.  "Cult-type" emphasis includes advice such as "avoid exposure to negative thinkers or negative ideas" .  

Those attached to what I characterize as cultish devotion, commonly believe that *any* life difficulty that has no immediate practical solution can be overcome by re-framing.  Talk of possible causes of suffering that might be related to society's paradigms, institutions and policies lacks "bliss appeal". 

Anyone offering socioeconomic political analysis may be "judged" as a negative thinker offering negative ideas.  Descriptions of historical and current dynamics of power, wealth, racism, etc.  are seen as unpleasant and toxic to personal well-being.  

In relationship at a more personal level, cultish positive thinkers may claim they cannot "connect to" what they  hear when an individual describes suffering and need.  They may genuinely want to be helpful - but they can't imagine addressing human misery beyond a "make lemonade from lemons" solution.

My description of cultish devotion to positive thinking in pursuit of personal well-being (therefore a state of happiness), is incomplete.   I've tried to briefly introduce "issues".  The cultishness has been examined by social analysts - Barbara Ehrenreich's  "Bright Sided - How Positive Thinking is Undermining America" grew from her experiences coping with cancer.  She connects the dots - cancer is the experience from which she examines a wider trend.  As an analyst and critic, of course, Ehrenreich can be dismissed as a  "negative" thinker! http://www.barbaraehrenreic...

It seems I've "used" this article to sound off on an aside theme that I find important.  The title of the article, after all, is "Four Ways Happiness Can Hurt You", not "How Pursuit of Happiness Can Reduce Empathic Capacity Within a Society".   Hampered empathy is only briefly mentioned, but it caught my attention, and my study of human behavior has led me to believe lack of empathy from "happy" folk may be linked to cultish practice of "positive thinking". 

I've been involved in "people watching and social criticism" for much of my life.  My criticism springs from a powerful optimism about human potential!  In fact, I believe conditions as we enter the 21stC "demand" that we apply valid ideas on personal happiness to community wellness, that we expand changes on behalf of personal well-being to include changes in dysfunctional institutions and policy. We learn of institutional and policy dysfunction through empathy (belief of another's struggle) and critical, analytical, examination of issues and power dynamics. Research and intuitive common sense both confirm that "felt" individual well-being depends on community context. Small personal communities always exist within larger socioeconomic political communities - of more complex dynamics.   More on this can be found in the work of Richard Wilkinson and Kate Pickett, found at http://www.equalitytrust.or....

@Kayee, well, I give my definition to the website of last night. Didn't it publish? I wrote a lot of explanations. And happy people connect people around them. but if happy people are busy on things they don't. it is a meaningful question. @be276523f26ecbd80bf429fabaafa852:disqus  , I followed the link but mbs ended anyway it was interesting how the guy talked. I will update unlimited internet. West striving materials, they are right because I one time tried a woman near her car. she was standing and I was practicing accent I just copied from a movie. So I wanted to greet her yet she saw me before. She just looked very innocent and changed the direction. I was really embarrassed because my intention wasn't to cause inconvenience. I then thought of how such issue could be addressed. I started a work. The work then threatened my well-being and sucked my savings. I then asked myself, do I deserve? I then continued not knowing realities because money lost in good is good. This story is not meant to provoke anyone because the story of the woman happened 2010 there was also another woman in swimming pool and another woman who worked in embassy they all seemed to not feel comfortable.
Thougha man who I met in consul was not displeased. He even joked. So the NGO work started this way- it is real.

This article caught my eye because it follows the kind of "too much good is bad" scare tactic of a lot of healthy living articles.

I really relate with the part about the pursuit of happiness. I've always been the ambitious type, people-pleaser, cheerful host. Almost my whole life, I've poured my energy into APPEARING happy to make other people around me feel good, to make other people around me feel like I had everything under control and the world on my side.

Especially once I began Health Coaching as a career, I wanted people to see that I'd figured it all out and was living the dream life. Behind closed doors, though, I was super stressed, I was binge eating sweets at night, I was feeling like a failure and a fraud, and was deeply UNhappy.

It took a lot of work and opening to see how I needed to take time and energy to nourish myself, relax and feed my own soul. I was giving and working way too much - trying to be a happy success - and starving myself of the stuff a happy life is made out of in the process. I didn't need all the sugar I was craving - I needed more sweetness in my life! Ahhhh...

great science. I was one of the people who were know excited all the times. I was and I like to be happy always. Well, I agree to be more happy can make one loose creativity and loose the idea of making development. As I said I overdrive happiness but if am to employ a worker I would prefer one who doesn't overdrive happiness. I understood mine 2005 I then decided to remain middle at schools and workplaces and when free or a lone I like to look what interests me or pleases me. I had 5 face books where I followed events different names. Most of my friends I meet personally and some of them I follow facebook and they don't know am following them. Because they comment and expect me to socialize with them and I can't. So I understood I might open facebook once in a month , they would think am not respecting them.

 I try what I want to do and if I fail I feel like I need to be nowhere. That is why I decided to live earth as a famous person or a rich. Without the two I I can't say life is worth. If someone I had been saying good many years broke me one minute I finalized that people harm.

The person I blogged first than any other thing. I was helpless more than anyone else my tears told me. I also seen sadness and I can tell when people are sad esp anger caused is very bad. So happiness is best only few people can take my pleasure but no one can return because advice only helps me to be to know something. My feelings are only solved by me. this is why I can be very happy while I should not. I have some skills to remain happy but some people can take it easily because I don't have defensive enzymes if people know me.

I am very kind. And sometimes some woman cry but really you can learn it is a kind of advertisements and achievements affects people life.

Thank you

This is the first time I have ever seen an absolutely ridiculous article on one of my favorite sites (Daily Good).   Just one of the many things in it that made no sense was "People in this heightened ‘happiness overdrive’ mode engage in riskier behaviors and tend to disregard threats, including excessive alcohol consumption, binge eating, sexual promiscuity, and drug use."

People who are happy do not engage in " excessive alcohol consumption, binge eating, sexual promiscuity, and drug use."   That type of behavior is what people who are seeking a way to hide from their unhappiness engage in. 

I drink no alcoholic beverages, eat a healthy vegetarian diet of 1200 - 1400 calories a day (I'm 4'8"), am celibate and use no recreational drugs.  When I have a day that I am feeling down, I simply examine what I am feeling and what is going on in my life and use a variety of spiritual practices to rebalance myself,  supplemented with a healthy dose of laughter yoga as needed.   No, I am not running around giggling hysterically all day but my normal emotional state ranges between calm contentment to a sense of quiet joyfulness.

My impression of this article is that the studies were done on (if not by) very emotionally unhealthy people and are not at all representative of the type of happiness that is a normal part of the daily life of someone who lives a healthy lifestyle and engages in daily spiritual practices.

Please Daily Good, think twice before posting an article like this again.  I think it does a disservice to your readers.

instead "of pursuing happiness
itself"..i find that acknowledging that i am part of the greater whole of
life and at once and the same a unique being (i am) gives  me the courage to believe in my self and my
reason to be “here.” This opens the path of seeking  the "genie" the gift we are all born
with that we are wired to share with the world. This whole vision thinking
creates a happy that thrives on the risks taken in “true direction” and opens
our minds to new possibilities as we grow into our “beingness”   As this
 resonates with "knowing" - a thought
emotion convergence zone nestled physically in the core - you know it when you
feel it!! Getting past our cultural boundaries is the hardest part; the old
beliefs are always ready to pull one under. Acknowledge and look for solutions that are beyond the "down"
As you bring your gift forward, your strength and happiness expand, it is so worth it!  Then be grateful…thank the universe for the dance!

Just experiment, see what unfolds.