（见《Parade》杂志2012年1月1日刊）
我收到了不少看过我在《Parade》杂志上发表的文章的人发来的好评和来信。由于篇幅限制，那篇文章不得不大幅缩减，所以我想和那些抽出时间浏览此页面的人分享一下之前的草稿。以下是草稿内容。
“我知道你感恩节这天还要上班，所以我想表达我的感激之情，感谢你抽出时间，每天都用这样真诚的方式记住我的名字，并热情地跟我打招呼，让我感觉自己被当成一个人，而不是一个数字。这虽是件小事，但在任何一天，它都意义非凡。谢谢你！”
我给星巴克的一位咖啡师寄了这封感谢信。她每天早上都能面带微笑地记住我的名字，这让我每天都心情愉悦，而且这种愉悦感在她之前和之后的许多天里都持续存在。2008年感恩节，我曾立誓要每天都写一封感谢信，而这封信就是其中一件让我格外感激的事情。她读完后几乎热泪盈眶。
说来也怪，这个为期一年的感恩计划的想法，竟然是在我苦苦寻找任何值得感恩的事情——2008年元旦那天——突然冒出来的。那天，我去加州帕萨迪纳的回声山步道散步，我当时就住在那里。52岁的我拥有一家律师事务所，但辛勤工作了一整年之后，却发现自己一分钱也没赚到。实际上，因为亏损，我甚至比没有收入还少。结果，我连给员工发圣诞奖金都付不起，这让我非常难堪。我的事务所即将失去租约，而我又无力支付新的租约。离婚后，我只能住在廉价公寓里，而不是自己的房子里。就连生活中那些充满希望的方面，也因为突如其来的变故而黯然失色：和我交往的女友在圣诞节前突然结束了我们的关系，而原本可以让我摆脱困境的百万美元陪审团裁决，也被法官推翻了。
在山里，我听到一个陌生的声音。无论它从哪里来，似乎都不是我的声音。它告诉我，我需要学会感恩我所拥有的一切，而不是执着于我想要的东西，或者我感觉自己失去的那些东西。
虽然只用了一年多一点的时间，但当我完成预定的365封感谢信时，我的生活发生了翻天覆地的变化，这完全出乎我的意料。我的孩子、朋友、同事、熟人，甚至咖啡师都曾给予我莫大的帮助，而当我通过写信表达对他们的感激之情时，我的福气似乎也随之倍增。当我感谢客户按时付款时，他们付款的速度也更快了。当我感谢律师们推荐客户时，他们推荐的客户也更多了。
好处不仅仅体现在经济方面。正如我的咖啡师后来告诉一位前来询问我写给她的便条的记者那样：“当我看到这张便条时，我意识到我所做的一切真的意义非凡。”通过向他人展示他们的生活对我而言有何意义，我发现他们也反过来告诉我，我的生活对他们而言同样意义非凡。我获得了内心的平静，并坚信我的生活过去是、现在也是美好的。这种改变并非一蹴而就。我写给咖啡师的便条是第260张感谢卡。
几乎是无意间，我开始改变自己的生活，让自己更值得收到感谢信。例如，我感谢办公室经理在我们公司遭遇危机时始终如一的付出，后来我才想起她曾因白血病失去了儿子。于是，我开始参加马拉松比赛，为白血病和淋巴瘤协会筹款，这让我有机会给那些为我的跑步活动捐款的人写感谢信。这些感谢信帮助我完成了365封感谢信的写作目标。（我已经完成了三场马拉松。）
受这些经历的启发，我决定写一本书，书名是《365个感谢》，这本书在圣诞节后不久以平装本的形式出版，名为《简单的感恩之举》。因为这本书内容私人，坦诚地讲述了我的一些问题，我开始担心以这种方式“公开”，甚至考虑过放弃出版。幸亏一位值得信赖的朋友鼓励我，我才决定继续下去。“你必须出版这本书，”他说，“这意义重大，它不再仅仅关乎你个人。”
读者来信：
“在听了你的‘365封感谢信’实验后，我深受启发，决定效仿你，开展一个类似的项目，给那些对我人生有积极影响的人写感谢信。我尤其感兴趣的是，想象一下人们打开邮箱，发现一个神秘的信封，心里想着这到底是什么……然后打开一看，发现原来是过去某个他们可能已经忘记的人，至今仍然惦记着他们，并感激彼此的人生曾有过交集。”
书出版几天后，我在邮箱里的垃圾邮件和账单中发现了一份新东西——读者亲笔写的感谢信。接下来的一周，我又收到了更多。之后，出版社寄来了一整箱感谢信。
我收到的第一封信就告诉我，我发出的感激之情会像涟漪一样扩散开来。她告诉我，她选择把365封感谢信的第一封写给我。“我先写你，是想让你知道，在我看来，你推倒了一块多米诺骨牌，由此会衍生出更多骨牌，向四面八方蔓延，最终让我们所有人都能在这场人生游戏中获胜。” 这些信让我深受感动，我再次意识到，这传递的信息，就像我在山上听到的声音一样，并非来自我自身，而是来自更宏大的力量。
我的很多读者都给了我很大的启发。一位因中风导致右侧瘫痪而住在养老院的女士告诉我，她感谢上帝让她“天生是左撇子，所以我主动为所有工作人员写生日卡和感谢卡……”另一位女士的丈夫在车祸中瘫痪了20年，她写道，她“很庆幸他没有丧命”。她的孩子们“成长为非常有同理心的人，对每个人的能力都有着非常深刻的理解”。虽然她从未想过自己能说出这样的话，但她写信告诉我：“我现在很感激我们的经历，以及它为我们的生活带来的深度和意义。”
我的读者们跟我讲述了许多在为时已晚之前，人们如何向重要的人表达感谢的故事。奥马哈的一位女士感谢了一位22年前改变她人生的牧师，她的感谢信在他去世前几天寄到，给了他莫大的安慰。当她回去感谢一位老师时，“老师看到我们和鲜花，激动得趴在桌子上哭了起来。她说她当了23年的老师，从来没有人感谢过她。” 听到这样的故事，我感到很欣慰，尽管我知道这些故事并非我亲手创造的。
现在我写信给读者时，总是希望能表达我的愿望：他们也能像我一样，发现他们给予他人的爱与感激终有一天会回到自己身上。刚刚写完第860封信，我意识到自己一直在以新的方式领悟到，感恩是通往我们一生都在追寻的平静之路，那是一种超越我们理解的平静。即使在黑暗或压力重重的时刻，我依然会通过耐心而工整地写下“谢谢”来抚慰那些帮助过我、安慰过我的人，从而获得内心的平静。
我的书出版后，我父亲也加入了众多开始写365天笔记的人的行列。他今年87岁，做了五十多年的外科医生。他的自律和专注远胜于我，很快就要完成他的第一份365天笔记了。他的笔记比我的更精美，这段经历让他与一生的朋友、同事、高中同学以及那些听从他的建议而和他一样长寿的病人重新建立了联系。既然我已经写了一本书，我想我现在也算是“365天笔记”的作者了，但他的笔记有一种简洁优雅的气质，这是任何训练都无法模仿的。例如，他在笔记中感谢那些陪伴他走过“长达八十年珍贵友谊”的人。在给一位新朋友（是的，他正在结交新朋友）的信中，这位朋友邀请他和我母亲共进晚餐，他形容那晚的体验“堪比总统”。读这些笔记，我发现一个有趣的短语反复出现，比如我父亲感谢我的侄女梅根送花时说：“它们给我们带来了难以置信的喜悦。”我目前最喜欢的是我父亲写给最近为他做白内障手术的医生的感谢信：
“感谢上帝赐予我新的双眼。星星更亮了，海浪更白了。我能清晰地看到海岸线上绵延数英里的景色，还能看到地平线上进出河流的货轮。”
即使到了八十七岁，或许尤其是在那时，心怀感恩能给你带来“难以置信的快乐”。
如今我的生活总体上是幸福的。我的境遇和前景都比以前好多了。但我们都知道，绝望的时刻总是难以避免。就在上周，那位鼓励我出版书籍的朋友突然离世，没有丝毫预兆，也没有道别。我的桌上放着他去年写给我的感谢信，信中他称赞我是“最慷慨的人”，还有一封信，信中他向我保证，我在2008年元旦那天在山里听到的声音“证实了人可以彻底改变人生的可能性”。我祈祷，我写给他的那封信——信中说他对我的写作的支持是我永远“无法完全衡量或回报”的礼物——没有被他遗忘。
每当此时，我都会重拾四年前带我走出黑暗的那套方法。坐在书桌前，我看到一堆读者来信等着回复，还有一张便笺纸上潦草地记着一份我尚未感谢的善意和馈赠清单。我想到那些我亏欠已久的人们，意识到他们的困境往往比我艰难得多。我拿出笔和剩下的旧信纸，开始书写。每一张便条上都写着“谢谢”。
如何写感谢信。
1. 一颗感恩的心。
当然，在我这段旅程的开始，也就是2008年1月，我并没有一颗感恩的心。当时诸事不顺，我觉得自己没有什么值得感恩的。然而，从几周前收到的圣诞礼物开始，我写了一张张感谢卡，就这样，我渐渐能够看到身边人身上的美好。
试着真诚地表达你对这份礼物的感激之情。如果简短的感谢卡还有空间，可以真诚地谈谈送礼物的人，以及这个人对你的意义。别忘了说声“谢谢”。
2. 回顾转折点。
在感谢了艾米莉·波斯特推荐的所有人之后，我开始跳出日常琐事的局限，寻找那些我需要写感谢信的人。例如，我开始回想过去，给那些在我年轻时将我从自毁倾向中拯救出来的朋友们写信，给那位通过手术让我摆脱痛苦人生的医生写信，给那位劝我戒酒的医生写信。
人生难免会经历一些艰难时刻。通过回望过去并感谢这些人，我得以重温美好的时光，并重新建立起当时的友谊。这使我能够以更长远、更平衡的视角看待眼前的困难。即使到了八十七岁，或许正像我父亲那样，尤其是在八十七岁的时候，你也会惊讶于那些同样心怀感激地记得你的人。
3. 基础知识：笔和纸
用钢笔手写笔记。字迹要工整，以便他人能够辨认。或许是因为手写笔记正逐渐成为一种失传的技艺，所以它显得格外珍贵，仿佛写信的人就在你身边。许多收到我笔记的人都珍藏着它们，如同珍宝一般。而机器打字的内容，人们总会怀疑究竟是你写的，还是机器写的。
我的大部分便条都写在非常简单的米白色卡片上，卡片封面只印着我的名字。这有两个好处。首先，因为封面印着我的名字，即使看不懂我签名的人也能知道这张便条不是疯子写的。其次，因为这不是预先印好的感谢卡，所以“谢谢”这几个字必须由我一遍又一遍地亲笔写下，这样对方才能确信这是我发自内心的感激，而不是贺卡公司的代言。我在书写这些字的时候，能真切地感受到它们，这有助于我改变看待事物的方式。
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We need to practice writing Thank You notes to all those who have helped us and probably all those who put us in difficult situation that taught us precious life lessons.
This beautiful Thank you article deserve gratitude from the bottom of my heart, John. Thanks you. I think you deserve something more than thank you. I will try my best to forward this article to 20 of my contacts and post it on FaceBook to inspire others to follow suit.
Writing Thank You note is definitely a good karma that will strength our divine power as well. Thanks.
Thank you, Thank you, Thank you, John! I had been thinking of doing this as part of my Lenten Journey to focus on the special people who are touching my life or who have in the past. Somehow it hadn't gotten off the ground. Reading your article, I have renewed impetus. It pulled at my heart strings and I cried and cried knowing that your voice was reminding me of my resolve. Lately, I have only been focusing on the trying, stressful things of my life. It's only been 9 months since my husband died and life is not the same without his presence. This will give me new life and greater joy I am sure. Blessings to you always!
Wow! What an awesome idea, I am inspired to show those in my life how grateful I am for them!
I must admit that I've been down in the dumps for the last two years. Because of an impending move and job change, I finally feel like there is light at the end of the tunnel. This story reminds me that I haven't had a grateful heart lately, and need an attitude adjustment. Before I leave my workplace, I plan to write to each person I work with. Thank you for reminding me that life isn't always about me.
I am so inspired by this. What an amazing idea and what a wonderful way to spread exponential joy into the world. Thank you for setting this example so that we can follow in your footsteps!
Just wrote my first (hand written) gratitude note to my uncle in India, who about 9 years ago showed me a way to a particular spiritual path. I have stuck with the path all these years as I found it immensely beneficial. I am so grateful to him for that. I also plan to write more notes to folks who have touched my life in one way or the other. One thank you to John for this article and the other to DailyGood for spreading the goodness, and to all who shared their voices here. Thank you all!
Thank you for this beautiful essay. I love my life and am very grateful for it and this made me realize that there are many in my life that I have not expressed my thanks to and motivates me to write (not email) to them. I love the prospect of doing so. Thank you for this inspiration.
As I was reading this note, people and stories popped up in my mind and moved me. I simply can't imagine what will happen after I send my first notes!
Doing it by hand is deeply moving for the one who does it, it helps you connect deeper with your heart.
Thank you for sharing this inspiration and taking the ripple further
Thank you for a beautiful idea and for sharing Gratitude. Indeed sharing how others have positively impacted us creates a wonderful ripple effect that reaches farther than we may ever realize. Perhaps also make it a point to try and share Verbal Thank yous as often as possible. if you feel it in your heart, say it with your mouth! Hug from my heart to yours!
I have taken up the challenge, posted it on my FB page and three friends have taken it up and re-posted. One thank you at a time, we will turn the world...
Thank you for sharing your life which has been a inspiration and lots of learning for me .
Awesome, John. This lifts me up. I like the hand written card idea too. Don’t know yet that I can afford to try it, but surely in the future I will. I too have learned to be grateful despite being once homeless and losing everything I had lovingly accumulated over 50 years because I couldn’t pay my storage unit bill. I am beyond grateful to still have my two beloved dogs, my only children, who slept with me in a vacant lot and an inoperable car. I was so blessed to be given a vacant apartment that was in short sale, just a ‘roof‘, until it sold. maybe only 30 days. That was 22 months ago, I could not be more grateful and my life improves a bit more everyday. I don’t have a stove, or a Christmas ornament or more than one pair of shoes. But I have a place to stay, now with a bed, electricity, water and internet, and my sweet old dogs are with me. I also have tons of hope and gratitude. I remember once reading that ‘rock-bottom is an excellent foundation on which to build.’ :o)
http://InspireResonate.word...
[Hide Full Comment]Dear John: Thank you. Your inspiring story not only moved me, I recognized myself in it. Recently divorced and 18 months into recovery, I found myself unable to stop crying. It went on day after day in spite of therapy and the 12 steps. One day, in desperation, I knelt on the floor and prayed to a god I didn't believe in to tell me what I was doing wrong: "Why am I so miserable if I am trying my best?" When I stopped crying, I got up and sat at the dressing table to fix my make up and that was when I heard the voice that was not mine. It said: "Brianda, life doesn't owe you anything."
[Hide Full Comment]I understood: all I had done all my life was complain about what I didn't have; never had I said thank you for all I did have. My life changed in that moment as I ran madly through my house thanking the Universe for the walls, floors, ceilings, furniture... even for the dust that had gathered on the tables. Little by little, as I became thankful for more and more things, my heart opened and I fell in love with life, with my life.
Today I have two prayers: "I'm willing" and "Thank you". So Thank You John for hearing the voice too: it is a gift to know I am not special, just one more.
Brianda
I am sitting here crying with joy, thank you for this gift to the world, our karma can only improve with your wonderful idea to restore the soul.
I'm so grateful for your inspiration. This is awesome.
THANK YOU!
In 2010, I lost a partner and friend to suicide. In October of 2010, a friend started a bulletin board expressing thirty days of gratitude as a way of celebrating Thanksgiving.
The group was so popular, it was rolled over for another thirty days. It then became a permanent daily group where we express our gratitude daily.
It has made all the difference in my recovery.
At a time when things are not going to well for me you have lifted me. For that John "Thank you"
It's said that you can not be grateful and unhappy at the same time. (Sort of like you can't pat the top of your head at the same time you rub your belly in a circle.) I think it's true, we just aren't wired to be grateful and unhappy at the same time. So, searching for and expressing gratitude is a way to avoid unhappiness. If I could only remember this when I need it.