我大约每个月都会遇到一个由内而外散发光芒的人。这些人可能来自各行各业。他们看起来心地善良，善于倾听，让人感到轻松愉快，觉得自己很重要。你经常会看到他们在照顾别人，他们的笑声悦耳动听，举手投足间都洋溢着感恩之情。他们不会去想自己做了多么了不起的事，也不会去想自己。
每当我遇到这样的人，我的一整天都会变得明亮起来。但我必须承认，我常常会冒出一个更令人伤感的想法：我意识到自己虽然在事业上取得了一定的成功，但我却没有达到那种境界。我没有拥有那种慷慨的精神，也没有拥有那种深厚的品格。
几年前，我意识到自己想变得更像那些人。我意识到，如果想做到这一点，就必须更加努力地拯救自己的灵魂。我必须经历那些能造就那种美德的道德之旅。我必须更好地平衡自己的生活。
我突然意识到，美德可以分为两类：简历上的美德和悼词上的美德。简历上的美德是你带给求职者的技能，而悼词上的美德则是人们在你葬礼上谈论的——你是否善良、勇敢、诚实或忠诚。你是否拥有深沉的爱？
我们都知道，悼词中的美德比简历上的光环更重要。然而，我们的文化和教育体系却花费更多时间教授职业成功所需的技能和策略，而非培养散发内在光芒所需的品质。许多人更清楚如何打造外部职业生涯，却不清楚如何塑造内在品格。
但如果你只追求外在的成就，岁月流逝，你内心深处的自我却无人探索，也无人构建。你缺乏道德词汇，很容易陷入自满的道德平庸。你用宽容的眼光审视自己，认为只要没有明显伤害他人，只要别人喜欢你，就万事大吉。然而，你却生活在一种无意识的厌倦之中，与生命的真谛和至高的道德喜悦渐行渐远。渐渐地，你真实的自我与你渴望的自我之间，与你偶尔遇到的那些光芒四射的灵魂之间，出现了一道令人羞辱的鸿沟。
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David Brooks ought to forgive himself. The kind of radiant people he justifiably admires are exceptional people, like Einstein, Gretzky, Mozart, or Shakespeare, in their respective fields.
The quality he wishes he had, like every human quality, is governed by the normal curve. Some people will be very deficient, some people will be greatly gifted, and most will be, plus or minus, clustered around the average.
The fact that he (and I) can see the pinnacles of radiant goodness, and appreciate it, means he is already above average in this quality. But very few people will ever achieve that, like very few can score 90 goals in an NHL season or write the next Hamlet.
Normal people, those close to the average on the normal curve, can only do the best they can. We ought to also admire those who, through effort, do a little better than their natural limitation.
Thank you!
This concept should be the starting point for where we change our educational system. The old "It's nice to be important but more important to be nice" If children learn that first, they will be important and they will be successful.