የተዘናጋ ህይወት ስትኖር፣ እያንዳንዱ ደቂቃ መቆጠር አለበት። ከዝርዝሩ ውስጥ የሆነ ነገር እየፈተሽክ፣ ስክሪን ላይ እያየህ ወይም ወደሚቀጥለው መድረሻ እየጣደፍክ መሆን ያለብህ ሆኖ ይሰማሃል። እና ጊዜዎን እና ትኩረትዎን የቱንም ያህል መንገድ ቢያካፍሉ፣ ምንም ያህል ተግባራት ቢሞክሩ እና ብዙ ስራ ቢሰሩ፣ በቀን ውስጥ ለመጨረስ በቂ ጊዜ የለም።
ለሁለት አመታት ህይወቴ ያ ነበር። ሀሳቦቼ እና ድርጊቶቼ የተቆጣጠሩት በኤሌክትሮኒክ ማሳወቂያዎች፣ የደወል ቅላጼዎች እና በተጨናነቁ አጀንዳዎች ነበር። እና ምንም እንኳን እያንዳንዱ የውስጤ መሰርሰሪያ ሳጅን ፋይበር በተሞላው የጊዜ ሰሌዳዬ ላይ ለእያንዳንዱ እንቅስቃሴ በሰዓቱ መሆን ቢፈልግም፣ እኔ ግን አልነበርኩም።
አየህ፣ ከስድስት አመት በፊት የተባረክኩኝ፣ ኋላቀር፣ በግዴለሽነት፣ በማቆም እና በመሽተት - የፅጌረዳ አይነት ልጅ።
ከበሩ መውጣት ሲያስፈልገኝ ቦርሳ እና የሚያብረቀርቅ ዘውድ በማውጣት ጣፋጭ ጊዜዋን እየወሰደች ነበር።
ከአምስት ደቂቃ በፊት የሆነ ቦታ መሆን ሲያስፈልገኝ፣ የታሸገውን እንስሳዋን በመኪና መቀመጫ ላይ እንድትጭን ጠየቀችኝ።
በሜትሮ ውስጥ ፈጣን ምሳ መብላት ሲያስፈልገኝ፣ አያቷን የምትመስሉ አረጋዊትን ለማናገር ቆመች።
ለመሮጥ ሠላሳ ደቂቃ ሲኖረኝ፣ ጋሪውን እንዳቆም እና የምናልፈውን ውሻ ሁሉ እንድበላ ፈለገች።
ከጠዋቱ 6 ሰዓት ላይ የጀመረው ሙሉ አጀንዳ ሲኖረኝ፣ እንቁላሎቹን እንድትሰነጠቅ እና በእርጋታ እንዲቀሰቅስኝ ጠየቀችኝ።
ግድየለሽ ልጄ ለአይነት A ፣በተግባር ለሚመራ ተፈጥሮዬ ስጦታ ነበር - ግን አላየሁም። ኦ አይ፣ ህይወት ተዘናግተህ ስትኖር፣ የመሿለኪያ እይታ አለህ - በአጀንዳው ላይ ያለውን የሚቀጥለውን ብቻ ተመልከት። እና ከዝርዝሩ ውስጥ የማይፈተሽ ማንኛውም ነገር ጊዜ ማባከን ነው.
ልጄ ከማስተር ፕሮግራሜ እንድወጣ ባደረገኝ ቁጥር፣ “ለዚህ ጊዜ የለንም” ብዬ ለራሴ አስብ ነበር። ስለሆነም፣ ለትንሿ ህይወት ፍቅረኛዬ በብዛት የተናገርኳቸው ሁለቱ ቃላት “ቶሎ በይ” ነበሩ።
አረፍተ ነገሮቼን የጀመርኩት በእሱ ነው።
ፍጠን እንረፍዳለን።
አረፍተ ነገሮችን በሱ ጨረስኩ።
ካልቸኮላችሁ ሁሉንም ነገር እናጣለን።
ቀኔን የጀመርኩት በእሱ ነው።
ፍጠን እና ቁርስህን ብላ።
ፈጥነህ ልበስ።
ቀኔን በዚሁ ጨረስኩ።
ቶሎ ቶሎ ጥርሶችዎን ይቦርሹ.
ፈጥነህ ተኝተህ ተኛ።
እና ምንም እንኳን “ፍጠኑ” የሚሉት ቃላት የልጄን ፍጥነት የሚጨምሩት ምንም ባይሆንም እኔ ግን አልኳቸው። ምናልባት “እወድሻለሁ” ከሚሉት ቃላት የበለጠ ሊሆን ይችላል።
እውነት ያማል፣ እውነት ግን ይፈውሳል… እና መሆን ከምፈልገው ወላጅ ጋር ያቀርበኛል።
ያኔ አንድ አሳዛኝ ቀን ነገሮች ተቀየሩ። ትልቋን ልጄን ከመዋዕለ ሕፃናት ወስደን ከመኪናው እየወረድን ነበር። ለፍላጎቷ ቶሎ ቶሎ አለመሄድ፣ ታላቅ ልጄ ታናሽ እህቷን “በጣም ቀርፋፋ ነሽ” አለቻት። እና እጆቿን አቆራርጣ በቁጣ ስታፍስ፣ እኔ ራሴን አየሁ - እና አንጀትን የሚሰብር እይታ ነበር።
በቃ ህይወትን መደሰት የሚፈልግ ትንሽ ልጅን የገፋሁ እና የሚያስጨንቀኝ ጉልበተኛ ነበርኩ።
ዓይኖቼ ተከፈቱ; የችኮላ ኑሮዬ በሁለቱም ልጆቼ ላይ እያደረሰ ያለውን ጉዳት በግልፅ አየሁ።
ድምፄ ቢንቀጠቀጥም የትንሿን ልጄን አይን ተመለከትኩና “አስቸኩልህ ስላደረግኩህ በጣም አዝኛለው፣ ጊዜህን እንድትወስድ እወዳለሁ፣ እናም እንዳንተ የበለጠ መሆን እፈልጋለሁ።” አልኩት።
ሁለቱም ሴት ልጆቼ በአሰቃቂ ሁኔታዬ የተገረሙ ይመስላሉ፣ ነገር ግን የታናሽ ሴት ልጄ ፊት የማያሻማውን የማረጋገጫ እና ተቀባይነት ብርሃን ያዘ።
“ከዚህ በኋላ የበለጠ ለመታገስ ቃል ገብቻለሁ” አልኩት የተጠመጠመ ፀጉር ያለው ልጄን አቅፌ አሁን የእናቷ አዲስ የገባችውን ቃል እየጠበቀች ነው።
ከመዝገበ-ቃላቶቼ "ፈጠን ይበሉ" ማባረር በጣም ቀላል ነበር። ያን ያህል ቀላል ያልነበረው በእረፍት ጊዜ ልጄን ለመጠበቅ ትዕግስት ማግኘቴ ነው። ሁለታችንንም ለመርዳት፣ የሆነ ቦታ መሄድ ካለብን ለመዘጋጀት ትንሽ ተጨማሪ ጊዜ መስጠት ጀመርኩ። እና አንዳንድ ጊዜ፣ ያኔ እንኳን፣ አሁንም ዘግይተናል። እነዚያ በወጣትነቷ ጊዜ እንደምዘገይ ለራሴ ያረጋገጥኩባቸው ጊዜያት ነበሩ።
እኔና ሴት ልጄ በእግር ስንጓዝ ወይም ወደ ሱቅ ስንሄድ ፍጥነቱን እንድታስተካክል ፈቀድኩላት። እና የሆነ ነገር ለማድነቅ ስትቆም አጀንዳዬን ከጭንቅላቴ አውጥቼ ዝም ብዬ እከታተላታለሁ። ፊቷ ላይ አይቼ የማላውቃቸውን አባባሎች አይቻለሁ። በእጆቿ ላይ ዲምፖችን እና ፈገግ ስትል አይኖቿ የሚጨማለቁበትን መንገድ አጥንቻለሁ። እሷን ለማናገር ጊዜ ወስዳ ሌሎች ሰዎች ምላሽ የሰጡበት መንገድ አየሁ። ደስ የሚሉ ትኋኖችን እና ቆንጆ አበቦችን ባየችበት መንገድ አየሁ። እሷ አስተዋዋቂ ነበረች፣ እና የአለም ማስታወሻዎች ብርቅዬ እና የሚያምሩ ስጦታዎች መሆናቸውን በፍጥነት ተማርኩ። ያኔ ነው በመጨረሻ ለፈረሰችው ነፍሴ ስጦታ መሆኗን የተረዳሁት።
ለማዘግየት የገባሁት ቃል ከዛሬ ሶስት አመት በፊት ነበር፣ በተመሳሳይ ጊዜ የዕለት ተዕለት መዘናጋትን ለመተው እና በህይወቴ ውስጥ አስፈላጊ የሆኑትን ነገሮች ለመረዳት ጉዞዬን ጀመርኩ። በዝቅተኛ ፍጥነት መኖር አሁንም የተቀናጀ ጥረት ይጠይቃል። ታናሽ ሴት ልጄ ግን ለምን መሞከሩን መቀጠል እንዳለብኝ ሕያው ማስታወሻዬ ነች። እንደውም በሌላ ቀን እንደገና አስታወሰችኝ።
ሁለታችንም በእረፍት ላይ ሳለን በብስክሌት ግልቢያ ወደ sno-cone shack ሄድን። ለልጄ ጥሩ ምግብ ከገዛች በኋላ፣ በእጇ የያዘችውን የበረዷማ ግንብ እያደነቀች ለሽርሽር ጠረጴዛ ተቀመጠች።
በድንገት የጭንቀት መልክ ፊቷ ላይ መጣ። "እናቴ መቸኮል አለብኝ?"
ማልቀስ እችል ነበር። ምናልባት የችኮላ ህይወት ጠባሳ ሙሉ በሙሉ አይጠፋም ብዬ አዝኜ ነበር።
ልጄ ጊዜዋን መውሰድ ትችል እንደሆነ ለማወቅ ቀና ብላ እያየኝ፣ ምርጫ እንዳለኝ አውቅ ነበር። ልጄን በህይወቴ የቸኮልኩበትን ጊዜ እያሰብኩ በሀዘን ተቀምጬ መቀመጥ እችል ነበር… ወይም ዛሬ ሌላ ነገር ለማድረግ እየሞከርኩ መሆኔን ማክበር እችል ነበር።
ዛሬ መኖርን መርጫለሁ።
"መቸኮል የለብህም ጊዜህን ብቻ ውሰድ" አልኩት በእርጋታ። ፊቷ ሁሉ በቅጽበት ደመቀ እና ትከሻዎቿ ዘና አሉ።
እና ጎን ለጎን ተቀምጠን የ ukulele-ተጫዋች-6-አመት ህጻናት ስለሚናገሩት ነገር እየተነጋገርን ነው። እርስ በርሳችን ፈገግ እያልን በዙሪያችን ያሉትን እይታዎች እና ድምፆች እያደነቅን በዝምታ የተቀመጥንባቸው ጊዜያትም ነበሩ።
ልጄ ሙሉውን ዳርን የምትበላ መስሎኝ ነበር - ነገር ግን በመጨረሻው ንክሻ ላይ ስትደርስ አንድ ማንኪያ የበረዶ ክሪስታሎች እና ጣፋጭ ጭማቂ ዘረጋችልኝ። "የመጨረሻውን ንክሻ አስቀምጬልሻለሁ እማማ" አለችኝ ልጄ በኩራት።
በረዷማው ጥሩነት ጥሜን እንዲያረካኝ ስፈቅድ፣ የህይወት ዘመን ስምምነት እንዳገኘሁ ተረዳሁ።
ለልጄ ትንሽ ጊዜ ሰጠሁት… እና በምላሹ፣ የመጨረሻ ንክሻዋን ሰጠችኝ እና ነገሮች የበለጠ ጣፋጭ እንደሆኑ እና በህይወት ውስጥ መሮጥ ስታቆም ፍቅር ቀላል እንደሚሆን አስታወሰችኝ።
ይሁን…
Sno-cone መብላት
የአበባ መልቀም
የመቀመጫ ቀበቶ መታጠፍ
እንቁላል መሰንጠቅ
የባህር ዛፍ ፍለጋ
Ladybug በመመልከት ላይ
የእግረኛ መንገድ መራመድ
“ለዚህ ጊዜ የለንም” አልልም። ምክንያቱም ይህ በመሠረቱ “ለመኖር ጊዜ የለንም” ማለቱ ነው።
በዕለት ተዕለት ሕይወት ውስጥ ባሉ ቀላል ደስታዎች ለመደሰት ቆም ብሎ ማቆም በእውነት ለመኖር ብቸኛው መንገድ ነው።
(እመኑኝ፣ ደስተኛ ኑሮን በተመለከተ ከአለም መሪ ባለሙያ ተምሬያለሁ።)
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Thanks for sharing 🙏
Why do we have to be so „grown-up“? The day we stop growing is the day we die.
Going back to our previous attitude as children. This inborn curiosity. Why? The most often used word. And the marvel at all things, living and inanimate.
Maybe a bit differently. For sure, in another manner. Because now, we can even appreciate the beauty of the unfathomable. Beyond my capacity to comprehend is leaves me totally in awe and reverence I simply have to bow down and trust this higher order. No more misguided arrogance and desire for complete control.
Beautiful and thought changing
Thanks for a great story. We hurry in life worrying that we may miss something if we don't. But I wonder how much have we missed by hurrying. Distance without quality is not a journey worth awhile. Thanks again.
This was so beautiful! I find myself in a hurry most of the day between school and work then homework and preparing for the next day. I too would like to commit some of my time to slow down and enjoy all the little things in life. There is such beauty in everything that is often looked over but for 2015 I would like to enjoy these beautiful things even more!
Beautiful! Thank you
This was so interesting to read. I have always been a "Noticer" because I just love knowing my surroundings. It really helps with understanding a lot more of the world around you. It's great that you learned such a powerful lesson.
Oh my -- I've been a "Noticer" all my life but had to ramp it down when I got older. Think I'll let go of the control and go back to being a "Noticer". Thank you for inspiring that!!
Simply a beautiful and inspiring piece. A lesson for all of us.
Thank you!!!!
Thanks for your post! Your story is very instructive and interesting. Many people need to stop and think: "Where do I hurry? And why?.."
Lovely post, and a good reminder. My only concern is that you seem to be rather hard on yourself, taking every worry and concern of your child so deeply to heart you feel like a "bully" every time you need to rush a bit. Believe me, I know this feeling! But the reality of life is that, sometimes, we really DO need to be somewhere on time. Living life like this on a daily basis is, indeed, very stressful on our kids and on ourselves. Once in awhile, however, it is OKAY to have to rush out the door, to have to miss a few extra minutes of playtime. It really is okay to not always be able to stop and smell the roses. What's truly important is to try and keep a balance. Get moving when you really need to, but make plenty of time for noticing, too. It's so easy, in this day and age of sky-scraper parenting standards, to always feel like we're damaging our children with every little decision we make. But none of us are perfect. As long as we don't expect perfection from our children, they won't come to expect it from us, either. If we constantly affirm for our kids that we think they are wonderful just as they are, if we embrace and nurture the things that make them unique, they will carry that with them much more than the times we had to rush them to get to work on time.
Best wishes,
[Hide Full Comment]A Noticer with a Noticer child
What a beautiful reminder to live in the moment. This story brought me to tears! I have a 3 year old who was born when I was about to turn 41. After a frantic 20 years of adult life, experiencing 'as much as possible' in my own life, I was blessed to have the most wonderful experience of all- being a parent. I remind myself constantly how these early years of my daughters life are so short and so precious, that I must stop and enjoy this time with her, at her pace. It is often difficult with the pressures of life and work but perhaps being an older parent gives me a heightened appreciation of these few short years. Life has slowed down immeasurable because of my daughter and what a gift that has been. There is SO much more to life than work!
a great opportunity for grandparents to make a difference in a child's life- especially if they are retired and not under time-stress. Both child and granddparent can appreciate the spacious present without fear of missing something else or being pushed or coaxed.
yeah, all kids are like this. ;)
Thank you, thank you, thank you! This nearly brought tears to my eyes. A friend of mine shared this with me as I am constantly conflicted over my Type A personality. It controls my parenting style that consequently has me up as front runner for mother of the year, annually. :-( Your entry was just perfect and reminds me just how unfair my demanding, hurried ways is to my beautiful daughter. I, too, have heard words stream from my older daughter's mouth that sound so harsh and demanding, only to realize it's me who has provided such repulsive modeling for such. I MUST slow down! Thank you again for sharing your story and inspiring me to be a better mom!
Beautiful. I had a 'hurry up' dad in my life and trust me even after 27 years if my life, I have never really be able to connect with him.
'Thank you so so much' for living in the moment. Bless Your children.
This is just beautiful - thank you for sharing.
This is absolutely beautiful!!
Boy can I relate to this! I was a moseying child like that. And now I'm the rushing parent of moseying children. Thanks for the reminder!!!
This is an awesome story. When I was in the Novitiate for my religious order, we spent a fair amount of time talking about "agendas". Some of it took, some of it didn't. Even today I often find myself rushing around, trying to get to my destination and not paying attention to my journey. The lady in this story apparently had the same tendency. Fortunately for her, she had a daughter who could teach her to slow down and smell the roses. How many gifts to the people and the world have we lost because the people who were supposed to show them to us never had the chance to be born?
Rachel: I'm an Emotional Freedom Coach for Women Entrepreneurs and I just shared your story with everyone I know, whether they have little ones or not. What a very powerful message! WHEW! My little ones are now 30, 31 & 32 and I have a big blended family with 9 grandchildren. Your words brought it home to me like a brick in the forehead! THANK YOU!!!
Make it a wonderful day!!
Gwen Orwiler
Beautiful! This is good advice for everyone in this "fast talking; fast moving" world we live in today.
LOVE THIS!!! As a working mom when my kids were little my motto was :When there BE there."
Wow! This was a lovely post. I'm glad to say that I have all the time in the world and am relishing the same.
Love and light, always :)
tears in my eyes right now
beeeuuuuuuuuuuuuutiful.
Thank you for the reminder.
And enjoy those precious children while you can. Mine are now 18 and 21 and they don't need me leisurely hanging around with them anymore. Treasure those times while you can.
Absolutely beautiful, thank you for helping me in my training.
Wow! This was a much needed read. It brought to me big smiles but also regretful tears. I can relate so easily to this. I also vow to stop and give presence to each and every valuable moment as much that I can. It's so deafening to realize I've so selfishly taken the beauty of life from my child's very own rainbow. I can relate to seeing myself as a bully. I clearly see the lack of respect I've shown my little one in so many ways. Today is a new day and what a blessing it is to have another chance to start over fresh with my sparkling little darling. I pray she forgives me and continues her patience with me.
a great reminder for us all to Stop, smell the roses, connect to one another and value living in the moment. Thank you so much for sharing the wisdom of a child. And indeed, we are all Tall children, some are simply taller than others.