Bizitza distraitu bat bizi zarenean, minutu bakoitza kontuan hartu behar da. Zerrendako zerbait egiaztatzen, pantaila bati begira edo hurrengo helmugara korrika joan behar duzula sentitzen duzu. Eta denbora eta arreta zenbat modutan banatzen dituzun ere, edozein eginkizun saiatu eta hainbat zeregin egiten dituzun ere, ez dago egun batean denbora nahikorik inoiz heltzeko.
Hori izan zen nire bizitza bi urte frenetikoetan. Nire pentsamenduak eta ekintzak jakinarazpen elektronikoak, dei-tonuak eta agenda bete-beteak kontrolatzen zituzten. Eta nire barruko zulatzaile sarjentuaren zuntz bakoitzak nire ordutegi gehiegizko jarduera guztietan garaiz iritsi nahi bazuen ere, ez nuen.
Ikusiko duzu, duela sei urte arros motako ume lasai, arduragabe, gelditu eta usaindu ninduten.
Atetik atera behar nuenean, bere denbora gozoa hartzen ari zen poltsa bat eta koroa distiratsu bat aukeratzen.
Duela bost minutu nonbait egon behar nuenean, bere peluxea autoko eserlekuan lotzen tematu zen.
Subway-n bazkari azkar bat hartu behar nuenean, bere amonaren antza zuen emakume adinekoarekin hitz egitera gelditzen zen.
Korrika egiteko hogeita hamar minutu nuenean, kotxetxoa geldiarazi eta pasatzen ginen txakur bakoitzari laztatzea nahi zuen.
Goizeko 6etan hasitako agenda bete nuenean, arrautzak apurtzeko eta astiro-astiro irabiatzeko eskatu zuen.
Nire ume arduragabea nire A motako opari bat izan zen, zereginetan oinarritutako izaerarentzat, baina ez nuen ikusi. Oh, ez, bizitza distraituta bizi zarenean, tunelaren ikuspegia duzu, agendan hurrengoari begira soilik. Eta zerrendatik kendu ezin dena denbora galtzea da.
Nire haurrak nire ordutegi nagusitik aldentzea eragiten zidan bakoitzean, nire artean pentsatzen nuen: "Ez dugu horretarako astirik". Ondorioz, nire bizitzaren maitale txikiari gehien esaten nizkion bi hitzak hauek izan ziren: "Bizkortu".
Horrekin hasi nituen nire esaldiak.
Azkar ibili, berandu iritsiko gara.
Horrekin amaitu nituen esaldiak.
Dena galduko dugu presarik ez baduzu.
Eguna horrekin hasi nuen.
Azkar ibili eta gosaldu.
Azkar ibili eta jantzi.
Eguna horrekin amaitu nuen.
Azkar ibili eta garbitu hortzak.
Azkar ibili eta ohean sartu.
Eta “bizkortu” hitzek nire haurraren abiadura handitzeko ezer gutxi izan arren, hala ere esan nituen. "Maite zaitut" hitzak baino gehiago agian.
Egiak min egiten du, baina egiak sendatzen du... eta izan nahi dudan gurasoarengana hurbiltzen nau.
Orduan, egun zoritxarreko batean, gauzak aldatu ziren. Nire alaba nagusia haurtzaindegitik atera eta autotik jaisten ginen. Bere gusturako nahikoa azkar ez joan, nire alaba zaharrak bere ahizpa txikiari esan zion: "Hain motela zara". Eta besoak gurutzatu eta hasperen larri bat atera zuenean, neure burua ikusi nuen, eta tripa-ikaragarria izan zen.
Bizitzaz gozatu nahi zuen haur txiki bat bultzatzen, presionatzen eta presatzen zuen jazarlea nintzen.
Begiak ireki zitzaizkidan; Argi ikusi nuen nire bizitza presatsuak nire seme- alabei egiten ari zitzaien kaltea.
Ahotsak dar-dar egin bazuen ere, nire haur txikiaren begietara begiratu eta esan nion: "Sentitzen dut presaka egin izana. Maite dut zure denbora hartzea, eta zure antzekoa izan nahi dut".
Nire alabak berdin harrituta zeuden nire onarpen minez, baina nire alaba gaztearen aurpegiak baliozkotze eta onarpenaren distira nahastezina zuen.
"Hemendik aurrera pazientzia handiagoa izango nuela agintzen dut", esan nion orain amaren promesa berriari begi-bistan ari zen nire ile kizkurdun haurra besarkatzen nuen bitartean.
Nahiko erraza zen "bizkor zaitez" nire hiztegitik kentzea. Hain erraza ez zena nire haur lasaiari itxaroteko pazientzia hartzea zen. Gu bioi laguntzeko, norabait joan behar bagenuen prestatzeko denbora pixka bat gehiago ematen hasi nintzen. Eta batzuetan, orduan ere, oraindik berandu ginela. Horiek izan ziren urte batzuk bakarrik berandu iritsiko nintzela ziurtatzen nion neure buruari, hori bada, bera gaztea den bitartean.
Nire alaba eta biok ibiltzen ginenean edo dendara joaten ginenean, erritmoa jartzen uzten nion. Eta zerbait miresteko gelditzen zenean, nire agendaren pentsamenduak burutik kendu eta besterik gabe behatzen nituen. Bere aurpegian inoiz ikusi ez nituen esamoldeak ikusi nituen. Bere eskuetako zikinak eta irribarre egiten zuenean begiak zimurtzen zitzaizkion modua aztertu nuen. Besteek nola erantzuten zioten ikusi nuen beraiekin hitz egiteko denbora hartzeko gelditzen zirela. Zomorro interesgarriak eta lore politak ikusten zituen modua ikusi nuen. Noticer bat zen, eta azkar jakin nuen The Noticers of the world opari arraro eta ederrak direla. Orduan konturatu nintzen azkenean nire arima amorratuarentzat opari bat zela .
Moteldutzeko konpromisoa duela ia hiru urte egin zen, aldi berean , eguneroko distrakzioa alde batera uzteko eta bizitzan garrantzitsua dena jabetzeko bidaia hasi nuen. Erritmo motelagoan bizitzeak esfortzu bat eskatzen du oraindik. Baina nire alaba gaztea da nire oroigarri bizia zergatik jarraitu behar dudan saiatzen. Izan ere, lehengo egunean, berriro ere gogorarazi zidan.
Biok bizikletaz ibilaldi bat egin genuen sno-cone txabola batera oporretan. Nire alabarentzat gozoki fresko bat erosi ondoren, piknik-mahai batean eseri zen, eskuan zuen izoztutako dorrea poz-pozik miretsiz.
Bat-batean kezka itxura bat agertu zitzaion aurpegian. "Laster egin behar al dut, ama?"
Negar egin nezakeen. Beharbada, bizitza presako baten orbainak ez dira inoiz guztiz desagertzen, pentsatu nuen triste.
Nire seme-alabak bere denbora hartu zezakeen jakiteko zain begiratzen zidan bitartean, banekien aukera nuela. Eser nezakeen atsekabetuta nire seme-alabak bizitzan zehar zenbat aldiz eraman nituen pentsatzen... edo ospa nezake gaur gauza ezberdina egiten saiatzen ari naizela.
Gaur bertan bizitzea aukeratu dut.
"Ez duzu presarik egin behar. Hartu zure denbora," esan nion astiro. Bere aurpegi osoa berehala argitu zen eta sorbaldak erlaxatu ziren.
Eta, beraz, elkarren ondoan eseri ginen ukelelean jotzen duten 6 urteko haurrek hitz egiten duten gauzei buruz hitz egiten. Isilik esertzen ginen uneak ere elkarri irribarre egiten eta gure inguruko ikusmenak eta soinuak miresten.
Uste nuen nire haurrak jateko gauza guztiak jango zituela, baina azken ziztadara iritsi zenean, izotz-kristal eta zuku gozo koilarakada bat eman zidan. "Azken mokadua gorde dizut, ama", esan zuen alabak harro.
Ontasun izoztuak nire egarria asetzen uzten nuenean, bizitza osoko akordioa lortu berri nuela konturatu nintzen.
Nire haurrari denbora pixka bat eman nion... eta trukean, bere azken mokadua eman zidan eta gogorarazi zidan gauzek zapore gozoagoa dutela eta maitasuna errazagoa dela bizitzan zehar korrika egiteari uzten diozunean.
Dela…
Sno-kono jatea
Lore bilketa
Segurtasun-uhala lotzea
Arrautza pitzatzea
Maskorraren aurkikuntza
Marigorringoa ikusten
Espaloietan paseatzen
Ez dut esango: "Ez dugu horretarako astirik". Hori funtsean, "ez dugu bizitzeko astirik" esatea delako.
Eguneroko bizitzako poz soilez gozatzeko pausatzea da benetan bizitzeko modu bakarra.
(Konfian iezadazu, munduko aditu nagusiarengandik ikasi nuen bizi alaietan.)
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Thanks for sharing 🙏
Why do we have to be so „grown-up“? The day we stop growing is the day we die.
Going back to our previous attitude as children. This inborn curiosity. Why? The most often used word. And the marvel at all things, living and inanimate.
Maybe a bit differently. For sure, in another manner. Because now, we can even appreciate the beauty of the unfathomable. Beyond my capacity to comprehend is leaves me totally in awe and reverence I simply have to bow down and trust this higher order. No more misguided arrogance and desire for complete control.
Beautiful and thought changing
Thanks for a great story. We hurry in life worrying that we may miss something if we don't. But I wonder how much have we missed by hurrying. Distance without quality is not a journey worth awhile. Thanks again.
This was so beautiful! I find myself in a hurry most of the day between school and work then homework and preparing for the next day. I too would like to commit some of my time to slow down and enjoy all the little things in life. There is such beauty in everything that is often looked over but for 2015 I would like to enjoy these beautiful things even more!
Beautiful! Thank you
This was so interesting to read. I have always been a "Noticer" because I just love knowing my surroundings. It really helps with understanding a lot more of the world around you. It's great that you learned such a powerful lesson.
Oh my -- I've been a "Noticer" all my life but had to ramp it down when I got older. Think I'll let go of the control and go back to being a "Noticer". Thank you for inspiring that!!
Simply a beautiful and inspiring piece. A lesson for all of us.
Thank you!!!!
Thanks for your post! Your story is very instructive and interesting. Many people need to stop and think: "Where do I hurry? And why?.."
Lovely post, and a good reminder. My only concern is that you seem to be rather hard on yourself, taking every worry and concern of your child so deeply to heart you feel like a "bully" every time you need to rush a bit. Believe me, I know this feeling! But the reality of life is that, sometimes, we really DO need to be somewhere on time. Living life like this on a daily basis is, indeed, very stressful on our kids and on ourselves. Once in awhile, however, it is OKAY to have to rush out the door, to have to miss a few extra minutes of playtime. It really is okay to not always be able to stop and smell the roses. What's truly important is to try and keep a balance. Get moving when you really need to, but make plenty of time for noticing, too. It's so easy, in this day and age of sky-scraper parenting standards, to always feel like we're damaging our children with every little decision we make. But none of us are perfect. As long as we don't expect perfection from our children, they won't come to expect it from us, either. If we constantly affirm for our kids that we think they are wonderful just as they are, if we embrace and nurture the things that make them unique, they will carry that with them much more than the times we had to rush them to get to work on time.
Best wishes,
[Hide Full Comment]A Noticer with a Noticer child
What a beautiful reminder to live in the moment. This story brought me to tears! I have a 3 year old who was born when I was about to turn 41. After a frantic 20 years of adult life, experiencing 'as much as possible' in my own life, I was blessed to have the most wonderful experience of all- being a parent. I remind myself constantly how these early years of my daughters life are so short and so precious, that I must stop and enjoy this time with her, at her pace. It is often difficult with the pressures of life and work but perhaps being an older parent gives me a heightened appreciation of these few short years. Life has slowed down immeasurable because of my daughter and what a gift that has been. There is SO much more to life than work!
a great opportunity for grandparents to make a difference in a child's life- especially if they are retired and not under time-stress. Both child and granddparent can appreciate the spacious present without fear of missing something else or being pushed or coaxed.
yeah, all kids are like this. ;)
Thank you, thank you, thank you! This nearly brought tears to my eyes. A friend of mine shared this with me as I am constantly conflicted over my Type A personality. It controls my parenting style that consequently has me up as front runner for mother of the year, annually. :-( Your entry was just perfect and reminds me just how unfair my demanding, hurried ways is to my beautiful daughter. I, too, have heard words stream from my older daughter's mouth that sound so harsh and demanding, only to realize it's me who has provided such repulsive modeling for such. I MUST slow down! Thank you again for sharing your story and inspiring me to be a better mom!
Beautiful. I had a 'hurry up' dad in my life and trust me even after 27 years if my life, I have never really be able to connect with him.
'Thank you so so much' for living in the moment. Bless Your children.
This is just beautiful - thank you for sharing.
This is absolutely beautiful!!
Boy can I relate to this! I was a moseying child like that. And now I'm the rushing parent of moseying children. Thanks for the reminder!!!
This is an awesome story. When I was in the Novitiate for my religious order, we spent a fair amount of time talking about "agendas". Some of it took, some of it didn't. Even today I often find myself rushing around, trying to get to my destination and not paying attention to my journey. The lady in this story apparently had the same tendency. Fortunately for her, she had a daughter who could teach her to slow down and smell the roses. How many gifts to the people and the world have we lost because the people who were supposed to show them to us never had the chance to be born?
Rachel: I'm an Emotional Freedom Coach for Women Entrepreneurs and I just shared your story with everyone I know, whether they have little ones or not. What a very powerful message! WHEW! My little ones are now 30, 31 & 32 and I have a big blended family with 9 grandchildren. Your words brought it home to me like a brick in the forehead! THANK YOU!!!
Make it a wonderful day!!
Gwen Orwiler
Beautiful! This is good advice for everyone in this "fast talking; fast moving" world we live in today.
LOVE THIS!!! As a working mom when my kids were little my motto was :When there BE there."
Wow! This was a lovely post. I'm glad to say that I have all the time in the world and am relishing the same.
Love and light, always :)
tears in my eyes right now
beeeuuuuuuuuuuuuutiful.
Thank you for the reminder.
And enjoy those precious children while you can. Mine are now 18 and 21 and they don't need me leisurely hanging around with them anymore. Treasure those times while you can.
Absolutely beautiful, thank you for helping me in my training.
Wow! This was a much needed read. It brought to me big smiles but also regretful tears. I can relate so easily to this. I also vow to stop and give presence to each and every valuable moment as much that I can. It's so deafening to realize I've so selfishly taken the beauty of life from my child's very own rainbow. I can relate to seeing myself as a bully. I clearly see the lack of respect I've shown my little one in so many ways. Today is a new day and what a blessing it is to have another chance to start over fresh with my sparkling little darling. I pray she forgives me and continues her patience with me.
a great reminder for us all to Stop, smell the roses, connect to one another and value living in the moment. Thank you so much for sharing the wisdom of a child. And indeed, we are all Tall children, some are simply taller than others.