当你的生活充满琐碎和分心时，每一分钟都必须被充分利用。你感觉自己必须完成待办事项清单上的某件事，盯着屏幕，或者匆匆赶往下一个目的地。无论你如何分配时间和精力，无论你尝试同时处理多少任务，一天的时间永远都不够用。
那两年，我的生活简直疯狂至极。我的思想和行动都被电子通知、铃声和塞得满满当当的日程表所控制。尽管我内心深处像个魔鬼教官一样渴望准时参加所有安排好的活动，但我却总是做不到。
你看，六年前我有幸拥有一个性格随和、无忧无虑、喜欢停下来欣赏生活美好事物的孩子。
当我需要出门的时候，她却慢悠悠地挑选钱包和闪闪发光的皇冠。
五分钟前我急着赶路的时候，她非要把她的毛绒玩具绑到汽车安全座椅上。
当我需要在赛百味快速吃午饭时，她会停下来和一位长得像她奶奶的老妇人聊天。
当我有三十分钟的跑步时间时，她却想让我停下婴儿车，抚摸我们路过的每一只狗。
当我早上 6 点就开始忙碌的时候，她却要求打鸡蛋，然后轻轻地搅拌。
我那无忧无虑的孩子简直是送给我这种A型人格、任务导向型性格的礼物——但我当时却没意识到。唉，当你生活心不在焉的时候，你的视野就会变得狭窄——眼里只有接下来要做的事情。任何无法从清单上划掉的事情，在你眼里都是浪费时间。
每当我的孩子让我偏离原定计划时，我都会想：“我们没时间做这些。” 因此，我最常对我的小宝贝说的两个字就是：“快点儿。”
我说话都以它开头。
快点，我们要迟到了。
我经常用它结尾。
如果你再不快点，我们就要错过一切了。
我今天早上就是从它开始的。
快点吃早饭。
快点穿好衣服。
我以它结束了一天的工作。
快点刷牙。
快点上床睡觉。
尽管“快点”这句话对加快孩子的速度几乎没有任何作用，但我还是说了。也许比说“我爱你”的效果还要好。
真相虽然伤人，但真相能治愈伤痛……并让我更接近我想成为的那种父母。
然后，在一个命运攸关的日子，一切都改变了。我们刚从幼儿园接了大女儿，正要下车。大女儿觉得车速不够快，便对妹妹说：“你太慢了。”当她抱起双臂，无奈地叹了口气时，我看到了自己——那景象令我心如刀绞。
我曾是一个欺凌弱小、逼迫、催促一个只想享受生活的小孩的恶霸。
我恍然大悟；我清楚地看到，我匆忙的生活方式对我的两个孩子造成了怎样的伤害。
虽然我的声音颤抖，但我看着孩子的眼睛说：“对不起，我一直让你着急。我喜欢你慢慢来，我也想向你学习。”
我的两个女儿对我的痛苦坦白都感到同样惊讶，但我小女儿的脸上却洋溢着认同和接纳的光芒。
“我保证以后会更有耐心，”我一边说着，一边拥抱我那卷发的孩子，她因为妈妈的新承诺而笑容满面。
把“快点”从我的词汇表里彻底删除很容易，难的是要有耐心等我那慢吞吞的孩子。为了我们俩，如果我们要出门，我会给她多一点准备时间。即便如此，有时我们还是会迟到。每当这时，我都会安慰自己，在她还小的时候，我迟到的情况最多只会持续几年，甚至更久。
当我和女儿散步或去商店时，我总是让她自己决定节奏。当她停下来欣赏什么东西时，我会把自己的计划抛到脑后，静静地观察她。我看到了她脸上从未出现过的表情。我仔细观察她手上的酒窝，以及她微笑时眼角的皱纹。我看到其他人对她停下来和他们交谈的反应。我看到她是如何发现有趣的昆虫和美丽的花朵的。她是一个善于观察的人，我很快意识到，像她这样善于观察的人是世间难得的珍贵礼物。那时我才真正明白，她是我那颗躁动不安的灵魂的礼物。
我大约三年前许下放慢脚步的承诺，同时也开始了摆脱日常琐事、探寻人生真谛的旅程。慢节奏的生活仍然需要付出持续的努力。但我的小女儿时刻提醒着我，我必须坚持下去。事实上，前几天她又一次提醒了我这一点。
度假期间，我们俩骑自行车去了一家刨冰店。给女儿买了一份冰凉的甜点后，她坐在野餐桌旁，兴高采烈地欣赏着手里那座冰塔。
她脸上突然浮现出担忧的神色。“妈妈，我必须赶时间吗？”
我差点哭了。我悲伤地想，或许匆忙生活留下的伤痕永远不会完全消失。
当我的孩子抬头看着我，等着我告诉她是否可以慢慢来时，我知道自己面临一个选择。我可以坐在那里，悲伤地回想自己有多少次催促孩子匆匆走过人生……或者，我可以庆祝今天我尝试用不同的方式教育她。
我选择活在当下。
“别着急，慢慢来。”我轻声说道。她顿时容光焕发，肩膀也放松了下来。
于是我们并肩坐着，聊着六岁小孩弹尤克里里时会聊的话题。有时我们甚至会沉默不语，只是彼此微笑，欣赏周围的景色和声音。
我原以为孩子会把那玩意儿全吃光——但当她吃到最后一口时，却递给我一勺冰晶和甜甜的汁液。“妈妈，我把最后一口留给你了，”女儿骄傲地说。
当我畅饮这冰爽美味解渴时，我意识到自己刚刚捡了个大便宜。
我给了孩子一点时间……作为回报，她把最后一口食物给了我，并提醒我，当你不再匆忙地生活时，事物会更美味，爱也会更容易到来。
无论是……
吃刨冰
采花
安全带扣合
鸡蛋破裂
贝壳发现
瓢虫在观察
人行道漫步
我不会说“我们没时间做这些事”，因为这实际上等于在说“我们没时间生活”。
停下来享受日常生活中的简单快乐，才是真正生活的唯一方式。
（相信我，我师从世界顶尖的快乐生活专家。）
COMMUNITY REFLECTIONS
SHARE YOUR REFLECTION
34 PAST RESPONSES
Thanks for sharing 🙏
Why do we have to be so „grown-up“? The day we stop growing is the day we die.
Going back to our previous attitude as children. This inborn curiosity. Why? The most often used word. And the marvel at all things, living and inanimate.
Maybe a bit differently. For sure, in another manner. Because now, we can even appreciate the beauty of the unfathomable. Beyond my capacity to comprehend is leaves me totally in awe and reverence I simply have to bow down and trust this higher order. No more misguided arrogance and desire for complete control.
Beautiful and thought changing
Thanks for a great story. We hurry in life worrying that we may miss something if we don't. But I wonder how much have we missed by hurrying. Distance without quality is not a journey worth awhile. Thanks again.
This was so beautiful! I find myself in a hurry most of the day between school and work then homework and preparing for the next day. I too would like to commit some of my time to slow down and enjoy all the little things in life. There is such beauty in everything that is often looked over but for 2015 I would like to enjoy these beautiful things even more!
Beautiful! Thank you
This was so interesting to read. I have always been a "Noticer" because I just love knowing my surroundings. It really helps with understanding a lot more of the world around you. It's great that you learned such a powerful lesson.
Oh my -- I've been a "Noticer" all my life but had to ramp it down when I got older. Think I'll let go of the control and go back to being a "Noticer". Thank you for inspiring that!!
Simply a beautiful and inspiring piece. A lesson for all of us.
Thank you!!!!
Thanks for your post! Your story is very instructive and interesting. Many people need to stop and think: "Where do I hurry? And why?.."
Lovely post, and a good reminder. My only concern is that you seem to be rather hard on yourself, taking every worry and concern of your child so deeply to heart you feel like a "bully" every time you need to rush a bit. Believe me, I know this feeling! But the reality of life is that, sometimes, we really DO need to be somewhere on time. Living life like this on a daily basis is, indeed, very stressful on our kids and on ourselves. Once in awhile, however, it is OKAY to have to rush out the door, to have to miss a few extra minutes of playtime. It really is okay to not always be able to stop and smell the roses. What's truly important is to try and keep a balance. Get moving when you really need to, but make plenty of time for noticing, too. It's so easy, in this day and age of sky-scraper parenting standards, to always feel like we're damaging our children with every little decision we make. But none of us are perfect. As long as we don't expect perfection from our children, they won't come to expect it from us, either. If we constantly affirm for our kids that we think they are wonderful just as they are, if we embrace and nurture the things that make them unique, they will carry that with them much more than the times we had to rush them to get to work on time.
Best wishes,
[Hide Full Comment]A Noticer with a Noticer child
What a beautiful reminder to live in the moment. This story brought me to tears! I have a 3 year old who was born when I was about to turn 41. After a frantic 20 years of adult life, experiencing 'as much as possible' in my own life, I was blessed to have the most wonderful experience of all- being a parent. I remind myself constantly how these early years of my daughters life are so short and so precious, that I must stop and enjoy this time with her, at her pace. It is often difficult with the pressures of life and work but perhaps being an older parent gives me a heightened appreciation of these few short years. Life has slowed down immeasurable because of my daughter and what a gift that has been. There is SO much more to life than work!
a great opportunity for grandparents to make a difference in a child's life- especially if they are retired and not under time-stress. Both child and granddparent can appreciate the spacious present without fear of missing something else or being pushed or coaxed.
yeah, all kids are like this. ;)
Thank you, thank you, thank you! This nearly brought tears to my eyes. A friend of mine shared this with me as I am constantly conflicted over my Type A personality. It controls my parenting style that consequently has me up as front runner for mother of the year, annually. :-( Your entry was just perfect and reminds me just how unfair my demanding, hurried ways is to my beautiful daughter. I, too, have heard words stream from my older daughter's mouth that sound so harsh and demanding, only to realize it's me who has provided such repulsive modeling for such. I MUST slow down! Thank you again for sharing your story and inspiring me to be a better mom!
Beautiful. I had a 'hurry up' dad in my life and trust me even after 27 years if my life, I have never really be able to connect with him.
'Thank you so so much' for living in the moment. Bless Your children.
This is just beautiful - thank you for sharing.
This is absolutely beautiful!!
Boy can I relate to this! I was a moseying child like that. And now I'm the rushing parent of moseying children. Thanks for the reminder!!!
This is an awesome story. When I was in the Novitiate for my religious order, we spent a fair amount of time talking about "agendas". Some of it took, some of it didn't. Even today I often find myself rushing around, trying to get to my destination and not paying attention to my journey. The lady in this story apparently had the same tendency. Fortunately for her, she had a daughter who could teach her to slow down and smell the roses. How many gifts to the people and the world have we lost because the people who were supposed to show them to us never had the chance to be born?
Rachel: I'm an Emotional Freedom Coach for Women Entrepreneurs and I just shared your story with everyone I know, whether they have little ones or not. What a very powerful message! WHEW! My little ones are now 30, 31 & 32 and I have a big blended family with 9 grandchildren. Your words brought it home to me like a brick in the forehead! THANK YOU!!!
Make it a wonderful day!!
Gwen Orwiler
Beautiful! This is good advice for everyone in this "fast talking; fast moving" world we live in today.
LOVE THIS!!! As a working mom when my kids were little my motto was :When there BE there."
Wow! This was a lovely post. I'm glad to say that I have all the time in the world and am relishing the same.
Love and light, always :)
tears in my eyes right now
beeeuuuuuuuuuuuuutiful.
Thank you for the reminder.
And enjoy those precious children while you can. Mine are now 18 and 21 and they don't need me leisurely hanging around with them anymore. Treasure those times while you can.
Absolutely beautiful, thank you for helping me in my training.
Wow! This was a much needed read. It brought to me big smiles but also regretful tears. I can relate so easily to this. I also vow to stop and give presence to each and every valuable moment as much that I can. It's so deafening to realize I've so selfishly taken the beauty of life from my child's very own rainbow. I can relate to seeing myself as a bully. I clearly see the lack of respect I've shown my little one in so many ways. Today is a new day and what a blessing it is to have another chance to start over fresh with my sparkling little darling. I pray she forgives me and continues her patience with me.
a great reminder for us all to Stop, smell the roses, connect to one another and value living in the moment. Thank you so much for sharing the wisdom of a child. And indeed, we are all Tall children, some are simply taller than others.