La idea de tenir objectius concrets i assolibles sembla estar molt arrelada a la nostra cultura. Sé que vaig viure amb objectius durant molts anys i, de fet, una gran part dels meus escrits aquí sobre els hàbits zen tracta sobre com establir i assolir objectius.
En aquests dies, però, visc sense objectius, la majoria. És absolutament alliberador, i contràriament al que t'han ensenyat, no vol dir que deixes d'aconseguir coses.
Vol dir que deixes de deixar-te limitar pels objectius.
Penseu en aquesta creença comuna: "Mai no arribaràs enlloc tret que sàpigues on vas". Això sembla molt sentit comú, i tanmateix, òbviament, no és cert si t'atures a pensar-hi. Feu un experiment senzill: sortiu al carrer i camineu en una direcció aleatòria i no dubteu a canviar de direcció aleatòriament. Després de 20 minuts, una hora... estaràs a algun lloc! És que no sabies que hi aniries a parar.
I hi ha el problema: has d'obrir la teva ment per anar a llocs on mai t'havies esperat. Si vius sense objectius, exploraràs nous territoris. Aprendràs coses inesperades. Acabaràs en llocs sorprenents. Aquesta és la bellesa d'aquesta filosofia, però també és una transició difícil.
Avui visc majoritàriament sense objectius. De tant en tant començo a plantejar un objectiu, però els deixo anar. Viure sense objectius no ha estat mai un objectiu meu... és una cosa que estic aprenent i que gaudeixo més, que és increïblement alliberador, que funciona amb l'estil de vida de seguir la meva passió que he desenvolupat.
El problema dels gols
En el passat, m'havia fixat un objectiu o tres per a l'any, i després subobjectius per a cada mes. Aleshores, esbrinaria quins passos he de fer cada setmana i cada dia, i intentaria centrar el meu dia en aquests passos.
Malauradament, mai, mai funciona tan bé. Això ho sabeu tots. Sabeu que heu de treballar en un pas d'acció i intenteu tenir en compte l'objectiu final per motivar-vos. Però aquest pas d'acció pot ser una cosa que temeu i, per tant, procrastineu. Feu altres treballs, o consulteu el correu electrònic o el Facebook, o us burles.
Per tant, els vostres objectius setmanals i mensuals es fan retrocedir o es desvien, i us desanimau perquè no teniu disciplina. I els objectius són massa difícils d'aconseguir. I ara què? Bé, reviseu els vostres objectius i els reinicieu. Creeu un nou conjunt de subobjectius i plans d'acció. Ja saps on vas, perquè tens objectius!
Per descomptat, en realitat no hi acabes arribant. De vegades aconsegueixes l'objectiu i després et sents increïble. Però la majoria de vegades no les aconsegueixes i te'n culpes a tu mateix.
Aquest és el secret: el problema no sou vosaltres, és el sistema! Els objectius com a sistema estan configurats per al fracàs.
Fins i tot quan fas les coses exactament bé, no és ideal. Heus aquí per què: sou extremadament limitat en les vostres accions. Quan no tens ganes de fer alguna cosa, t'has d'obligar a fer-ho. El vostre camí està escollit, de manera que no teniu espai per explorar nous territoris. Has de seguir el pla, fins i tot quan t'apassiona una altra cosa.
Alguns sistemes d'objectius són més flexibles, però res és tan flexible com no tenir objectius.
Com funciona
Aleshores, com és una vida sense objectius? A la pràctica, és molt diferent d'un amb objectius.
No et fixes un objectiu per a l'any, ni per al mes, ni per a la setmana o el dia. No us obsessioneu amb el seguiment ni amb els passos accionables. Ni tan sols necessiteu una llista de tasques pendents, tot i que no està de més escriure recordatoris si voleu.
Què fas, doncs? Estirar al sofà tot el dia, dormint i mirant la televisió i menjant Ho-Hos? No, simplement ho fas. Trobeu alguna cosa que us apassiona i feu-ho. Que no tinguis objectius no vol dir que no facis res: pots crear, produir, seguir la teva passió.
I a la pràctica, això és una cosa meravellosa: et despertes i fas allò que t'apassiona. Per a mi, això sol ser un bloc, però pot ser escriure una novel·la o un llibre electrònic o el meu proper llibre o crear un curs per ajudar els altres o connectar amb persones increïbles o passar temps amb la meva dona o jugar amb els meus fills. No hi ha límit, perquè sóc lliure.
Al final, normalment acabo aconseguint més que si tingués objectius, perquè sempre estic fent alguna cosa que em fa il·lusió. Però si ho aconsegueixo o no no és la qüestió en absolut: l'únic que importa és que estic fent el que m'agrada, sempre.
Acabo en llocs meravellosos, sorprenents, genials. Simplement no sabia que hi arribaria quan comencés.
Preguntes ràpides
Pregunta d'un lector: no és un objectiu no tenir objectius?
Resposta ràpida: pot ser un objectiu, o podeu aprendre a fer-ho al llarg del viatge, explorant nous mètodes. Sempre estic aprenent coses noves (com no tenir objectius) sense proposar-me aprendre-les en primer lloc.
Una altra pregunta d'un lector: Llavors, com et guanyes la vida?
Resposta: apassionadament! De nou, no tenir objectius no vol dir que deixis de fer coses. De fet, faig moltes coses, tot el temps, però les faig perquè m'encanta fer-les.
Consells per viure sense objectius
No us donaré un manual per viure sense objectius, això seria absurd. No et puc ensenyar què has de fer, has de trobar el teu propi camí.
Però puc compartir algunes coses que he après, amb l'esperança que us ajudi:
- Comença petit. No cal que revisis dràsticament la teva vida per aprendre a viure sense objectius. Només has de passar unes hores sense objectius ni accions predeterminades. Segueix la teva passió durant aquestes hores. Fins i tot una hora servirà.
- Créixer. A mesura que milloreu en això, comença a permetre't estar lliure durant períodes més llargs: mig dia o un dia sencer o diversos dies. Al final et sentiràs prou segur per renunciar a determinats objectius i fer el que t'agrada.
- No només feina. Renunciar als objectius funciona en qualsevol àrea de la teva vida. Prendre salut i condició física: solia tenir objectius de fitness específics, des de perdre pes o greix corporal fins a córrer una marató o augmentar la meva gatzoneta. Ja no: ara només ho faig perquè m'encanta, i no tinc ni idea d'on em portarà això. Funciona genial, perquè sempre em diverteixo.
- Deixa anar els plans. Els plans no són realment diferents dels objectius. Et posen en un camí predeterminat. Però és increïblement difícil deixar anar la vida amb plans, sobretot si sou un planificador meticulós com jo. Així que permeteu-vos planificar, quan sentiu que ho necessiteu, però a poc a poc no dubteu a deixar anar aquest hàbit.
- No et preocupis pels errors. Si comenceu a establir objectius, està bé. No hi ha errors en aquest viatge, només és una experiència d'aprenentatge. Si vius sense objectius i acabes fracassant, pregunta't si realment és un fracàs. Només fracasses si no arribes a on volies anar, però si no tens un destí en ment, no hi haurà fracàs.
- Tot està bé. No importa quin camí trobis, no importa on acabis, és bonic. No hi ha mal camí, no hi ha mal destí. Només és diferent, i diferent és meravellós. No jutgis, sinó experimenta.
I finalment
Recordeu sempre: el viatge és tot. La destinació està al costat del punt.
"Un bon viatger no té plans fixos i no té intenció d'arribar". ~ Lao Tse
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As John Lennon once said in a song, "Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans."
Set goals but do not let them abandon you. Approach one goal at a time then take some time off, start from the smallest goal then go to the next one and so on. Appreciate the time having goals and enjoy the time without goals.
We can't just let the goals all the time, in life there are some critical seconds which we need to plane and set goals. The thing is we need to have a balance between our focus and our vision. Focus on the goals you have set and have the broad vision of all aspects to make you feel happy and stay relaxed.
Interesting! And well written! Live purposefully and allow purpose to manifest and in giving free time to explore adds to this journey. This article raises great point that if we are boggged down by mindful presets then we can not truly acheive the path of our own successes. Do what you love and you'll love what you are doing! And at a point if this does seem unattainable.. ask why and how and when can it occur. Dont give up or in!
To me, goals and planning are a means to an end and that feels limiting , "in the box" so to speak. For me, that is contrary to being in the "NOW". My heaven is definitely in the journey!
Wonderfull article. I discovered few years ago this way of life, without knowing it, by visiting London alone. And this allows me to discover some superbe hidden area of the city and also to meet very intersting people. It was the best city treap of my life. And now after reading the article and what I know, I understand what makes the difference. I can understand that: letting go your goals, observing by feeling your sensations, make it easy to connect to the intelligence of the universe. And this allows you to be in the right place at the right time.
I have been at the receiving end of life from the last 3-4 years. I dont know what I like, what I want to do and where I want to reach. I have been working with myself. At one end I am okay with having no predetermined goals in life, but on the other end it becomes too much to handle psychologically. I feel I am lost. At 38 years of age, it feels that I have done or achieved anything.
But slowly I am also becoming clear that there can be life beyond goals, objectives and plans. And many a times I work and live without a goal. And I do "what I want to do" rather than "What I have to do" and even if it is only an hour it gives immense pleasure. It gives me pleasure as I feel I grew to the next maturity level in that one hour.
Thanks for writing on this and I would like to continue this dialogue with you.
Leo, you remind
me of Carl Whittaker who said his theory of how to do therapy is to have no
theory at all. Well, that's a theory. I do see your goal is to have no goals. I
think that's better than having goals in the way you describe. You give a great
description of goal setting can be so frustrating. The problem isn't goals,
it's attachment to goals. Attachment causes suffering. So make all the goals
you want, even a goal of having no goals, just don't attach any feelings of self-worth
or happiness to them. How's that for a goal?
Eddie Reece,
MS, LPC
Leo, you remind
me of Carl Whittaker who said his theory of how to do therapy is to have no
theory at all. Well, that's a theory. I do see your goal is to have no goals. I
think that's better than having goals in the way you describe. You give a great
description of goal setting can be so frustrating. The problem isn't goals,
it's attachment to goals. Attachment causes suffering. So make all the goals
you want, even a goal of having no goals, just don't attach any feelings of self-worth
or happiness to them. How's that for a goal?
Eddie Reece,
MS, LPC
People should not blame Daily Good for posting this article. That's life! Life is about discovery and invention of now things; life styles, methods of dealing with problems, etc.
They did good to present that for public consumption, giving a free platform for people like me to comprehend and either take or reject. To me, i have a multitude of lessons i have tapped from the article and it will go along way to informing my decisions and the way i do things.
Never make life a monotony, it will in the end bore you. You will hate yourself, the people around you and the things that you use.
Thanks Daily Good for always being good!
Thanks for the article, the tutorial- You have taught me a new and workable channel of life. Ahmed
I just left a relationship because the guy couldn't plan ahead - or make a best guess - about our relationship in the future. He wanted to keep coasting along (his words), not living together, not making any commitment to each other. We're in our mid-50s. He was enthusiastic about our relationship day-to-day, and enjoying our times together, as Babauta recommends doing.....but when it comes to making a life with another person, it isn't as if two houses are going to tiptoe during the night until they are united in commitment bliss. You can't move in together accidentally, or on one day when you both happen to realize - "Hey, yay, I suddenly find joy in planning a lifetime together with you! Oh really? Me too, so let's do that today. But tomorrow, well, maybe not. Depends on what I feel like doing." One has to make a decision, one has to make a plan. Planning on being with a special someone for the rest of your life is more of a lifetime guarantee than not making such plans.
[Hide Full Comment]I just left a relationship because the guy couldn't plan ahead - or make a best guess - about our relationship in the future. He wanted to keep coasting along (his words), not living together, not making any commitment to each other. We're in our mid-50s. He was enthusiastic about our relationship day-to-day, and enjoying our times together, as Babauta recommends doing.....but when it comes to making a life with another person, it isn't as if two houses are going to tiptoe during the night until they are united in commitment bliss. You can't move in together accidentally, or on one day when you both happen to realize - Hey, yay, I suddenly find joy in planning a lifetime together with you! Oh really? Me too, so let's do that today. But tomorrow, well, maybe not. Depends on what I feel like doing. One has to make a decision, one has to make a plan. Planning on being with a special someone for the rest of your life is more of a lifetime guarantee than not making such plans.
[Hide Full Comment]Pure rubbish. And yes, not wanting to have no goals is a goal, plain and simple. This reflects the life od an individual who has no ambition and will see success in anything to justify their behaviours. I'm surprised and even more disppointed this article was actually published by Daily Good.
Most of us are focused on the attainment of our goals, in a
vain attempt to fill our existential vacuum and our moods tend to be
determined by our apparent successes and failures. We strive for money to exist and end up doing
jobs we don’t like, for too long a time and end up losing our connection with
our spiritual nature. We worry too much and
spend a lot of our time thinking of ways to escape our monotony; we fill our
heads with thoughts and deny our feelings, especially the ones that inform us
of the emptiness within. We become human
doings and work harder and longer, to fill our emptiness, with all sorts of
palliatives, but at the same time our dissatisfaction grows and our anxiety
increases.
Goals demand that we stay focused on the future, which will
[Hide Full Comment]keep us from actually enjoying the fruits of our labours, and can become
missions of false hope, in difficult times.
The reality of goal planning is that it won’t go to plan and the harder
we try to force our ideas onto the world and control it, the more resistance we
will face, and the more unhappy we will become.
We need to recognise that most of our goals manifest from our Ego’s need
to be powerful, and the achievement of these goals, is not always dependent on
our planning, resourcefulness and management skills, but on our ability to
adapt to life changes. Goals are a
construction of the mind, which is of a dual nature, so to gain something we
have to lose something else; wholeness manifests when we are able to let go of
all goals and just be with what is, and this is spiritual mastery. - The art of Being Human - John Anderson
The idea of a goal is a desired destination... so is living passionately. They are mutual if indeed they are yours and not someone elses.
Quite wonderful. This could be a life changer. Thank you so much. Nick
I actually combine having goals with doing what I feel like. Many people consider the goal setting process to be tyrannical the way you describe. Perhaps it's better said this way, I have big visions of what I want to create, and what I want my life to be like. And as much as possible I only ever do what I feel like. There is a sense of alignment in that - I am aligned with the flow of life. I have lists, but if I don't feel like doing something I put it on the bottom and eventually it falls off the list.
Now I should say that it took me years to get my work life to a place where I can actually get away with doing that - but it's also the secret of my success. I have two people working for me, part time, doing stuff I don't like but they do. I work for myself at home - not even my husband knows how little I work some days. (When I'm not working, I'm usually dreaming about my vision).
And sometimes I just have to haul myself by the butt and do things I don't wanna do but are necessary for my dreams.
And I have a huge amount of focus and discipline because I'm working on my dream, that helps.
[Hide Full Comment]Very Nice. Great Article. But it is difficult in routine life when you have so much responsibility on yourself, that you do only what you are passionate about. Anyway Thanks for a thought provoking article. :-) Cheers.