Idea untuk mempunyai matlamat yang konkrit dan boleh dicapai nampaknya telah sebati dengan budaya kita. Saya tahu saya hidup dengan matlamat selama bertahun-tahun, dan sebenarnya sebahagian besar tulisan saya di sini mengenai Tabiat Zen adalah tentang cara menetapkan dan mencapai matlamat.
Hari ini, bagaimanapun, saya hidup tanpa matlamat, untuk sebahagian besar. Ia benar-benar membebaskan, dan bertentangan dengan apa yang anda mungkin telah diajar, ia sama sekali tidak bermakna anda berhenti mencapai sesuatu.
Ini bermakna anda berhenti membiarkan diri anda dihadkan oleh matlamat.
Pertimbangkan kepercayaan umum ini: "Anda tidak akan sampai ke mana-mana melainkan anda tahu ke mana anda pergi." Ini nampaknya sangat masuk akal, namun ia jelas tidak benar jika anda berhenti untuk memikirkannya. Jalankan percubaan mudah: pergi ke luar dan berjalan ke arah rawak, dan berasa bebas untuk menukar arah secara rawak. Selepas 20 minit, sejam … anda akan sampai ke suatu tempat! Cuma anda tidak tahu anda akan berakhir di sana.
Dan ada gosokannya: anda perlu membuka minda anda untuk pergi ke tempat yang anda tidak sangka untuk pergi. Jika anda hidup tanpa matlamat, anda akan meneroka wilayah baharu. Anda akan belajar beberapa perkara yang tidak dijangka. Anda akan berakhir di tempat yang mengejutkan. Itulah keindahan falsafah ini, tetapi ia juga merupakan peralihan yang sukar.
Hari ini, saya hidup kebanyakannya tanpa matlamat. Sekarang dan kemudian saya mula membuat matlamat, tetapi saya membiarkan mereka pergi. Hidup tanpa matlamat tidak pernah menjadi matlamat sebenar saya … ia hanya sesuatu yang saya pelajari yang lebih saya nikmati, yang sangat membebaskan, yang sesuai dengan gaya hidup mengikuti minat saya yang telah saya kembangkan.
Masalah dengan matlamat
Pada masa lalu, saya telah menetapkan satu atau tiga matlamat untuk tahun ini, dan kemudian submatlamat untuk setiap bulan. Kemudian saya akan memikirkan langkah tindakan yang perlu diambil setiap minggu dan setiap hari, dan cuba menumpukan hari saya pada langkah tersebut.
Malangnya, ia tidak pernah melakukannya dengan kemas. Anda semua tahu ini. Anda tahu anda perlu melakukan langkah tindakan dan anda cuba mengingati matlamat akhir untuk memotivasikan diri anda. Tetapi langkah tindakan ini mungkin sesuatu yang anda takuti, jadi anda berlengah-lengah. Anda melakukan kerja lain, atau anda menyemak e-mel atau Facebook, atau anda mengarut.
Oleh itu, matlamat mingguan dan matlamat bulanan anda ditolak atau diketepikan, dan anda menjadi tawar hati kerana anda tidak mempunyai disiplin. Dan matlamat terlalu sukar untuk dicapai. Jadi sekarang apa? Nah, anda menyemak matlamat anda dan menetapkan semula matlamat anda. Anda membuat satu set submatlamat dan pelan tindakan baharu. Anda tahu ke mana anda pergi, kerana anda mempunyai matlamat!
Sudah tentu, anda sebenarnya tidak akan sampai ke sana. Kadang-kadang anda mencapai matlamat dan kemudian anda berasa luar biasa. Tetapi kebanyakan masa anda tidak mencapainya dan anda menyalahkan diri sendiri.
Inilah rahsianya: masalahnya bukan anda, ia adalah sistem! Matlamat sebagai sistem disediakan untuk kegagalan.
Walaupun anda melakukan perkara dengan betul, ia tidak sesuai. Inilah sebabnya: anda sangat terhad dalam tindakan anda. Apabila anda tidak mahu melakukan sesuatu, anda perlu memaksa diri anda untuk melakukannya. Laluan anda dipilih, jadi anda tidak mempunyai ruang untuk meneroka wilayah baharu. Anda perlu mengikuti rancangan itu, walaupun anda berminat dengan sesuatu yang lain.
Sesetengah sistem matlamat lebih fleksibel, tetapi tiada yang fleksibel seperti tidak mempunyai matlamat.
Bagaimana ia berfungsi
Jadi bagaimana rupa kehidupan tanpa matlamat? Dalam amalan, ia sangat berbeza daripada yang mempunyai matlamat.
Anda tidak menetapkan matlamat untuk tahun, mahupun untuk bulan, mahupun untuk minggu atau hari. Anda tidak obses tentang penjejakan atau langkah yang boleh diambil tindakan. Anda tidak memerlukan senarai tugasan, walaupun tidak rugi untuk menulis peringatan jika anda suka.
Apa yang anda lakukan, kemudian? Berbaring di atas sofa sepanjang hari, tidur dan menonton TV dan makan Ho-Hos? Tidak, anda lakukan sahaja. Anda temui sesuatu yang anda minati, dan lakukannya. Hanya kerana anda tidak mempunyai matlamat tidak bermakna anda tidak melakukan apa-apa — anda boleh mencipta, anda boleh menghasilkan, anda boleh mengikut minat anda.
Dan dalam amalan, ini adalah perkara yang menarik: anda bangun dan melakukan perkara yang anda minati. Bagi saya, itu biasanya menulis blog, tetapi ia boleh menulis novel atau ebook atau buku saya yang seterusnya atau membuat kursus untuk membantu orang lain atau berhubung dengan orang yang luar biasa atau menghabiskan masa bersama isteri atau bermain dengan anak-anak saya. Tiada had, kerana saya bebas.
Pada akhirnya, saya biasanya mencapai lebih daripada jika saya mempunyai matlamat, kerana saya sentiasa melakukan sesuatu yang saya teruja. Tetapi sama ada saya mencapai atau tidak bukanlah perkara utama: yang penting ialah saya melakukan apa yang saya suka, sentiasa.
Saya berakhir di tempat yang indah, mengejutkan, hebat. Saya hanya tidak tahu saya akan sampai ke sana apabila saya mula.
Soalan cepat
Soalan daripada pembaca: Bukankah tiada matlamat adalah matlamat?
Jawapan pantas: Ia boleh menjadi matlamat, atau anda boleh belajar melakukannya sepanjang perjalanan, dengan meneroka kaedah baharu. Saya sentiasa belajar perkara baharu (seperti tidak mempunyai matlamat) tanpa menetapkan untuk mempelajarinya sejak awal.
Soalan lain dari pembaca: Jadi bagaimana anda mencari rezeki?
Jawapan: Bersemangat! Sekali lagi, tidak mempunyai matlamat tidak bermakna anda berhenti melakukan sesuatu. Sebenarnya, saya melakukan banyak perkara, sepanjang masa, tetapi saya melakukannya kerana saya suka melakukannya.
Petua untuk hidup tanpa matlamat
Saya tidak akan memberi anda manual cara untuk hidup tanpa matlamat - itu tidak masuk akal. Saya tidak boleh mengajar anda apa yang perlu dilakukan — anda perlu mencari jalan anda sendiri.
Tetapi saya boleh berkongsi beberapa perkara yang telah saya pelajari, dengan harapan ia akan membantu anda:
- Mulakan dari kecil. Anda tidak perlu merombak hidup anda secara drastik untuk belajar hidup tanpa matlamat. Hanya pergi beberapa jam tanpa matlamat atau tindakan yang telah ditetapkan. Ikuti keghairahan anda untuk masa itu. Sejam pun boleh.
- Tumbuh. Apabila anda semakin mahir dalam hal ini, mula membenarkan diri anda bebas untuk tempoh yang lebih lama — setengah hari atau sehari penuh atau beberapa hari. Akhirnya anda akan berasa cukup yakin untuk menyerah pada matlamat tertentu dan hanya melakukan apa yang anda suka.
- Bukan kerja sahaja. Melepaskan matlamat berfungsi dalam mana-mana bidang kehidupan anda. Ambil kesihatan dan kecergasan: Saya pernah mempunyai matlamat kecergasan tertentu, daripada menurunkan berat badan atau lemak badan kepada berlari maraton kepada meningkatkan jongkong saya. Tidak lagi: sekarang saya hanya melakukannya kerana saya menyukainya, dan saya tidak tahu ke mana ia akan membawa saya. Ia berfungsi dengan cemerlang, kerana saya sentiasa menikmati diri saya sendiri.
- Lepaskan rancangan. Rancangan tidak berbeza dengan matlamat. Mereka meletakkan anda pada jalan yang telah ditetapkan. Tetapi adalah sangat sukar untuk melepaskan hidup dengan rancangan, terutamanya jika anda seorang perancang yang teliti seperti saya. Jadi biarkan diri anda merancang, apabila anda rasa anda perlu, tetapi perlahan-lahan berasa bebas untuk melepaskan tabiat ini.
- Jangan risau tentang kesilapan. Jika anda mula menetapkan matlamat, itu OK. Tiada kesilapan dalam perjalanan ini — ia hanyalah pengalaman pembelajaran. Jika anda hidup tanpa matlamat dan akhirnya gagal, tanya diri anda sama ada ia benar-benar kegagalan. Anda hanya gagal jika anda tidak sampai ke tempat yang anda mahu pergi — tetapi jika anda tidak mempunyai destinasi dalam fikiran, tiada kegagalan.
- Semuanya bagus. Tidak kira apa jalan yang anda temui, tidak kira di mana anda berakhir, ia adalah indah. Tiada jalan yang buruk, tiada destinasi yang buruk. Ia hanya berbeza, dan berbeza itu indah. Jangan menilai, tetapi pengalaman.
Dan akhirnya
Sentiasa ingat: perjalanan adalah semua. Destinasi adalah di sebelah titik.
'Seorang pengembara yang baik tidak mempunyai rancangan tetap, dan tidak berniat untuk tiba.' ~Lao Tzu
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As John Lennon once said in a song, "Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans."
Set goals but do not let them abandon you. Approach one goal at a time then take some time off, start from the smallest goal then go to the next one and so on. Appreciate the time having goals and enjoy the time without goals.
We can't just let the goals all the time, in life there are some critical seconds which we need to plane and set goals. The thing is we need to have a balance between our focus and our vision. Focus on the goals you have set and have the broad vision of all aspects to make you feel happy and stay relaxed.
Interesting! And well written! Live purposefully and allow purpose to manifest and in giving free time to explore adds to this journey. This article raises great point that if we are boggged down by mindful presets then we can not truly acheive the path of our own successes. Do what you love and you'll love what you are doing! And at a point if this does seem unattainable.. ask why and how and when can it occur. Dont give up or in!
To me, goals and planning are a means to an end and that feels limiting , "in the box" so to speak. For me, that is contrary to being in the "NOW". My heaven is definitely in the journey!
Wonderfull article. I discovered few years ago this way of life, without knowing it, by visiting London alone. And this allows me to discover some superbe hidden area of the city and also to meet very intersting people. It was the best city treap of my life. And now after reading the article and what I know, I understand what makes the difference. I can understand that: letting go your goals, observing by feeling your sensations, make it easy to connect to the intelligence of the universe. And this allows you to be in the right place at the right time.
I have been at the receiving end of life from the last 3-4 years. I dont know what I like, what I want to do and where I want to reach. I have been working with myself. At one end I am okay with having no predetermined goals in life, but on the other end it becomes too much to handle psychologically. I feel I am lost. At 38 years of age, it feels that I have done or achieved anything.
But slowly I am also becoming clear that there can be life beyond goals, objectives and plans. And many a times I work and live without a goal. And I do "what I want to do" rather than "What I have to do" and even if it is only an hour it gives immense pleasure. It gives me pleasure as I feel I grew to the next maturity level in that one hour.
Thanks for writing on this and I would like to continue this dialogue with you.
Leo, you remind
me of Carl Whittaker who said his theory of how to do therapy is to have no
theory at all. Well, that's a theory. I do see your goal is to have no goals. I
think that's better than having goals in the way you describe. You give a great
description of goal setting can be so frustrating. The problem isn't goals,
it's attachment to goals. Attachment causes suffering. So make all the goals
you want, even a goal of having no goals, just don't attach any feelings of self-worth
or happiness to them. How's that for a goal?
Eddie Reece,
MS, LPC
Leo, you remind
me of Carl Whittaker who said his theory of how to do therapy is to have no
theory at all. Well, that's a theory. I do see your goal is to have no goals. I
think that's better than having goals in the way you describe. You give a great
description of goal setting can be so frustrating. The problem isn't goals,
it's attachment to goals. Attachment causes suffering. So make all the goals
you want, even a goal of having no goals, just don't attach any feelings of self-worth
or happiness to them. How's that for a goal?
Eddie Reece,
MS, LPC
People should not blame Daily Good for posting this article. That's life! Life is about discovery and invention of now things; life styles, methods of dealing with problems, etc.
They did good to present that for public consumption, giving a free platform for people like me to comprehend and either take or reject. To me, i have a multitude of lessons i have tapped from the article and it will go along way to informing my decisions and the way i do things.
Never make life a monotony, it will in the end bore you. You will hate yourself, the people around you and the things that you use.
Thanks Daily Good for always being good!
Thanks for the article, the tutorial- You have taught me a new and workable channel of life. Ahmed
I just left a relationship because the guy couldn't plan ahead - or make a best guess - about our relationship in the future. He wanted to keep coasting along (his words), not living together, not making any commitment to each other. We're in our mid-50s. He was enthusiastic about our relationship day-to-day, and enjoying our times together, as Babauta recommends doing.....but when it comes to making a life with another person, it isn't as if two houses are going to tiptoe during the night until they are united in commitment bliss. You can't move in together accidentally, or on one day when you both happen to realize - "Hey, yay, I suddenly find joy in planning a lifetime together with you! Oh really? Me too, so let's do that today. But tomorrow, well, maybe not. Depends on what I feel like doing." One has to make a decision, one has to make a plan. Planning on being with a special someone for the rest of your life is more of a lifetime guarantee than not making such plans.
[Hide Full Comment]I just left a relationship because the guy couldn't plan ahead - or make a best guess - about our relationship in the future. He wanted to keep coasting along (his words), not living together, not making any commitment to each other. We're in our mid-50s. He was enthusiastic about our relationship day-to-day, and enjoying our times together, as Babauta recommends doing.....but when it comes to making a life with another person, it isn't as if two houses are going to tiptoe during the night until they are united in commitment bliss. You can't move in together accidentally, or on one day when you both happen to realize - Hey, yay, I suddenly find joy in planning a lifetime together with you! Oh really? Me too, so let's do that today. But tomorrow, well, maybe not. Depends on what I feel like doing. One has to make a decision, one has to make a plan. Planning on being with a special someone for the rest of your life is more of a lifetime guarantee than not making such plans.
[Hide Full Comment]Pure rubbish. And yes, not wanting to have no goals is a goal, plain and simple. This reflects the life od an individual who has no ambition and will see success in anything to justify their behaviours. I'm surprised and even more disppointed this article was actually published by Daily Good.
Most of us are focused on the attainment of our goals, in a
vain attempt to fill our existential vacuum and our moods tend to be
determined by our apparent successes and failures. We strive for money to exist and end up doing
jobs we don’t like, for too long a time and end up losing our connection with
our spiritual nature. We worry too much and
spend a lot of our time thinking of ways to escape our monotony; we fill our
heads with thoughts and deny our feelings, especially the ones that inform us
of the emptiness within. We become human
doings and work harder and longer, to fill our emptiness, with all sorts of
palliatives, but at the same time our dissatisfaction grows and our anxiety
increases.
Goals demand that we stay focused on the future, which will
[Hide Full Comment]keep us from actually enjoying the fruits of our labours, and can become
missions of false hope, in difficult times.
The reality of goal planning is that it won’t go to plan and the harder
we try to force our ideas onto the world and control it, the more resistance we
will face, and the more unhappy we will become.
We need to recognise that most of our goals manifest from our Ego’s need
to be powerful, and the achievement of these goals, is not always dependent on
our planning, resourcefulness and management skills, but on our ability to
adapt to life changes. Goals are a
construction of the mind, which is of a dual nature, so to gain something we
have to lose something else; wholeness manifests when we are able to let go of
all goals and just be with what is, and this is spiritual mastery. - The art of Being Human - John Anderson
The idea of a goal is a desired destination... so is living passionately. They are mutual if indeed they are yours and not someone elses.
Quite wonderful. This could be a life changer. Thank you so much. Nick
I actually combine having goals with doing what I feel like. Many people consider the goal setting process to be tyrannical the way you describe. Perhaps it's better said this way, I have big visions of what I want to create, and what I want my life to be like. And as much as possible I only ever do what I feel like. There is a sense of alignment in that - I am aligned with the flow of life. I have lists, but if I don't feel like doing something I put it on the bottom and eventually it falls off the list.
Now I should say that it took me years to get my work life to a place where I can actually get away with doing that - but it's also the secret of my success. I have two people working for me, part time, doing stuff I don't like but they do. I work for myself at home - not even my husband knows how little I work some days. (When I'm not working, I'm usually dreaming about my vision).
And sometimes I just have to haul myself by the butt and do things I don't wanna do but are necessary for my dreams.
And I have a huge amount of focus and discipline because I'm working on my dream, that helps.
[Hide Full Comment]Very Nice. Great Article. But it is difficult in routine life when you have so much responsibility on yourself, that you do only what you are passionate about. Anyway Thanks for a thought provoking article. :-) Cheers.