Ang ideya ng pagkakaroon ng kongkreto, makakamit na mga layunin ay tila malalim na nakatanim sa ating kultura. Alam kong nabuhay ako nang may mga layunin sa loob ng maraming taon, at sa katunayan ang isang malaking bahagi ng aking mga isinulat dito sa Zen Habits ay tungkol sa kung paano magtakda at makamit ang mga layunin.
Sa mga araw na ito, gayunpaman, nabubuhay ako nang walang mga layunin, para sa karamihan. Ito ay ganap na nagpapalaya, at taliwas sa kung ano ang maaaring itinuro sa iyo, ito ay ganap na hindi nangangahulugan na huminto ka sa pagkamit ng mga bagay.
Nangangahulugan ito na itigil mo na ang iyong sarili na limitahan ng mga layunin.
Isaalang-alang ang karaniwang paniniwalang ito: "Hindi ka makakarating kahit saan maliban kung alam mo kung saan ka pupunta." Ito ay tila napaka sensical, ngunit ito ay malinaw na hindi totoo kung titigil ka upang isipin ito. Magsagawa ng simpleng eksperimento: lumabas at maglakad sa random na direksyon, at huwag mag-atubiling magpalit ng direksyon nang random. Pagkalipas ng 20 minuto, isang oras … may pupuntahan ka! Hindi mo lang alam na doon ka pala mapupunta.
At nariyan ang kuskusin: kailangan mong buksan ang iyong isip sa pagpunta sa mga lugar na hindi mo inaasahang pupuntahan. Kung nabubuhay ka nang walang mga layunin, maggalugad ka ng bagong teritoryo. Matututo ka ng ilang hindi inaasahang bagay. Mapupunta ka sa mga nakakagulat na lugar. Iyan ang kagandahan ng pilosopiyang ito, ngunit ito rin ay isang mahirap na paglipat.
Ngayon, nabubuhay ako halos walang mga layunin. Ngayon at pagkatapos ay nagsisimula akong magkaroon ng isang layunin, ngunit hinahayaan ko sila. Ang pamumuhay nang walang mga layunin ay hindi kailanman naging isang aktwal na layunin ng aking ... ito ay isang bagay lamang na natututuhan ko na mas natutuwa ako, na hindi kapani-paniwalang nakapagpapalaya, na gumagana sa pamumuhay ng pagsunod sa aking hilig na aking binuo.
Ang problema sa mga layunin
Noong nakaraan, magtatakda ako ng isang layunin o tatlo para sa taon, at pagkatapos ay mga sub-goal para sa bawat buwan. Pagkatapos ay aalamin ko kung anong mga hakbang sa pagkilos ang gagawin bawat linggo at bawat araw, at susubukan kong ituon ang aking araw sa mga hakbang na iyon.
Sa kasamaang palad, ito ay hindi kailanman, kailanman gumagana out ito nang maayos. Alam mo lahat ito. Alam mong kailangan mong gumawa ng isang hakbang sa pagkilos, at sinusubukan mong panatilihin sa isip ang pangwakas na layunin upang hikayatin ang iyong sarili. Ngunit ang hakbang ng pagkilos na ito ay maaaring isang bagay na kinatatakutan mo, kaya't ipinagpaliban mo. Gumawa ka ng ibang trabaho, o mag-check ka ng email o Facebook, o magloko ka.
Kaya't ang iyong mga lingguhang layunin at buwanang layunin ay nauurong o nababantayan, at nasisiraan ka ng loob dahil wala kang disiplina. At ang mga layunin ay napakahirap abutin. Kaya ngayon ano? Well, sinusuri mo ang iyong mga layunin at i-reset ang mga ito. Gumawa ka ng bagong hanay ng mga sub-goal at action plan. Alam mo kung saan ka pupunta, dahil mayroon kang mga layunin!
Siyempre, hindi ka talaga mapupunta doon. Minsan nakamit mo ang layunin at pagkatapos ay nakakaramdam ka ng kamangha-manghang. Ngunit kadalasan ay hindi mo nakakamit ang mga ito at sinisisi mo ito sa iyong sarili.
Narito ang sikreto: ang problema ay hindi ikaw, ito ang sistema! Ang mga layunin bilang isang sistema ay naka-set up para sa kabiguan.
Kahit na gawin mo ang mga bagay nang tama, hindi ito perpekto. Narito kung bakit: ikaw ay lubhang limitado sa iyong mga aksyon. Kapag ayaw mong gawin ang isang bagay, kailangan mong pilitin ang iyong sarili na gawin ito. Pinili ang iyong landas, kaya wala kang puwang upang galugarin ang bagong teritoryo. Kailangan mong sundin ang plano, kahit na mahilig ka sa ibang bagay.
Ang ilang mga sistema ng layunin ay mas nababaluktot, ngunit walang kasing flexible na walang mga layunin.
Paano ito gumagana
Kaya ano ang hitsura ng isang buhay na walang mga layunin? Sa pagsasagawa, ito ay ibang-iba kaysa sa isang may mga layunin.
Hindi ka nagtakda ng layunin para sa taon, o para sa buwan, o para sa linggo o araw. Hindi ka nahuhumaling sa pagsubaybay, o mga hakbang na naaaksyunan. Hindi mo na kailangan ng listahan ng dapat gawin, kahit na hindi masakit na isulat ang mga paalala kung gusto mo.
Ano ang gagawin mo, kung gayon? Maghapong nakahiga sa sopa, natutulog at nanonood ng TV at kumakain ng Ho-Hos? Hindi, ginagawa mo lang. Nakahanap ka ng isang bagay na gusto mo, at gawin ito. Dahil lang sa wala kang mga layunin ay hindi nangangahulugang wala kang gagawin — maaari kang lumikha, maaari kang gumawa, maaari mong sundin ang iyong hilig.
At sa pagsasanay, ito ay isang kahanga-hangang bagay: gumising ka at gawin kung ano ang gusto mo. Para sa akin, iyon ay karaniwang pag-blog, ngunit maaaring ito ay pagsulat ng isang nobela o isang ebook o ang aking susunod na libro o paglikha ng isang kurso upang makatulong sa iba o kumonekta sa hindi kapani-paniwalang mga tao o paggugol ng oras sa aking asawa o pakikipaglaro sa aking mga anak. Walang limitasyon, dahil libre ako.
Sa huli, kadalasan ay nakakamit ko ang higit pa kaysa sa kung mayroon akong mga layunin, dahil palagi akong gumagawa ng isang bagay na nasasabik ako. Ngunit kung makamit ko man o hindi ay hindi ang punto sa lahat: ang mahalaga ay ginagawa ko ang gusto ko, palagi.
Napupunta ako sa mga lugar na kahanga-hanga, nakakagulat, mahusay. Hindi ko lang alam na makakarating ako doon kapag nagsimula na ako.
Mabilis na mga tanong
Tanong mula sa isang mambabasa: Hindi ba isang layunin ang walang layunin?
Mabilis na sagot: Maaari itong maging isang layunin, o maaari mong matutunang gawin ito sa paglalakbay, sa pamamagitan ng pagtuklas ng mga bagong pamamaraan. Palagi akong nag-aaral ng mga bagong bagay (tulad ng walang mga layunin) nang hindi nagtatakda upang matutunan ang mga ito sa unang lugar.
Isa pang tanong mula sa isang mambabasa: Kaya paano ka kumikita?
Sagot: Masigasig! Muli, ang hindi pagkakaroon ng mga layunin ay hindi nangangahulugan na huminto ka sa paggawa ng mga bagay. Sa katunayan, ginagawa ko ang maraming bagay, sa lahat ng oras, ngunit ginagawa ko ang mga ito dahil gusto kong gawin ang mga ito.
Mga tip para mabuhay nang walang layunin
Hindi kita bibigyan ng manual kung paano mamuhay nang walang mga layunin — magiging walang katotohanan iyon. Hindi kita matuturuan kung ano ang gagawin — kailangan mong humanap ng sarili mong landas.
Ngunit maibabahagi ko ang ilang bagay na natutunan ko, sa pag-asang makakatulong ito sa iyo:
- Magsimula sa maliit. Hindi mo kailangang baguhin nang husto ang iyong buhay upang matutong mamuhay nang walang mga layunin. Pumunta lang ng ilang oras nang walang paunang natukoy na mga layunin o aksyon. Sundin ang iyong hilig para sa mga oras na iyon. Kahit isang oras ay gagawin.
- Lumaki. Habang nagiging mas mahusay ka dito, simulang payagan ang iyong sarili na maging libre sa mas mahabang panahon - kalahating araw o isang buong araw o ilang araw. Sa kalaunan ay magkakaroon ka ng sapat na kumpiyansa na sumuko sa ilang layunin at gawin lang ang gusto mo.
- Hindi lang trabaho. Ang pagsuko ng mga layunin ay gumagana sa anumang lugar ng iyong buhay. Kumuha ng kalusugan at fitness: Mayroon akong mga partikular na layunin sa fitness, mula sa pagbaba ng timbang o bodyfat hanggang sa pagtakbo ng marathon hanggang sa pagtaas ng aking squat. Hindi na: ngayon ko lang ginagawa ito dahil mahal ko ito, at wala akong ideya kung saan ako dadalhin nito. Gumagana ito nang mahusay, dahil lagi kong nasisiyahan ang aking sarili.
- Bitawan ang mga plano. Ang mga plano ay hindi talaga naiiba sa mga layunin. Itinakda ka nila sa isang paunang natukoy na landas. Ngunit napakahirap na bitawan ang pamumuhay nang may mga plano, lalo na kung ikaw ay isang maselang tagaplano tulad ko. Kaya hayaan ang iyong sarili na magplano, kapag sa tingin mo ay kailangan mo, ngunit dahan-dahang huwag mag-atubiling iwanan ang ugali na ito.
- Huwag mag-alala tungkol sa mga pagkakamali. Kung magsisimula kang magtakda ng mga layunin, OK lang. Walang mga pagkakamali sa paglalakbay na ito — isa lamang itong karanasan sa pag-aaral. Kung nabubuhay ka nang walang mga layunin at sa huli ay nabigo, tanungin ang iyong sarili kung ito ay talagang kabiguan. Mabibigo ka lamang kung hindi ka makakarating sa gusto mong puntahan — ngunit kung wala kang patutunguhan sa isip, walang kabiguan.
- Maganda lahat. Kahit anong landas ang hanapin mo, kahit saan ka man mapunta, maganda. Walang masamang landas, walang masamang patutunguhan. Ito ay naiiba lamang, at iba ay kahanga-hanga. Huwag manghusga, ngunit karanasan.
At sa wakas
Laging tandaan: ang paglalakbay ay lahat. Ang destinasyon ay nasa tabi ng punto.
'Ang isang mahusay na manlalakbay ay walang nakapirming plano, at walang intensyon sa pagdating.' ~Lao Tzu
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As John Lennon once said in a song, "Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans."
Set goals but do not let them abandon you. Approach one goal at a time then take some time off, start from the smallest goal then go to the next one and so on. Appreciate the time having goals and enjoy the time without goals.
We can't just let the goals all the time, in life there are some critical seconds which we need to plane and set goals. The thing is we need to have a balance between our focus and our vision. Focus on the goals you have set and have the broad vision of all aspects to make you feel happy and stay relaxed.
Interesting! And well written! Live purposefully and allow purpose to manifest and in giving free time to explore adds to this journey. This article raises great point that if we are boggged down by mindful presets then we can not truly acheive the path of our own successes. Do what you love and you'll love what you are doing! And at a point if this does seem unattainable.. ask why and how and when can it occur. Dont give up or in!
To me, goals and planning are a means to an end and that feels limiting , "in the box" so to speak. For me, that is contrary to being in the "NOW". My heaven is definitely in the journey!
Wonderfull article. I discovered few years ago this way of life, without knowing it, by visiting London alone. And this allows me to discover some superbe hidden area of the city and also to meet very intersting people. It was the best city treap of my life. And now after reading the article and what I know, I understand what makes the difference. I can understand that: letting go your goals, observing by feeling your sensations, make it easy to connect to the intelligence of the universe. And this allows you to be in the right place at the right time.
I have been at the receiving end of life from the last 3-4 years. I dont know what I like, what I want to do and where I want to reach. I have been working with myself. At one end I am okay with having no predetermined goals in life, but on the other end it becomes too much to handle psychologically. I feel I am lost. At 38 years of age, it feels that I have done or achieved anything.
But slowly I am also becoming clear that there can be life beyond goals, objectives and plans. And many a times I work and live without a goal. And I do "what I want to do" rather than "What I have to do" and even if it is only an hour it gives immense pleasure. It gives me pleasure as I feel I grew to the next maturity level in that one hour.
Thanks for writing on this and I would like to continue this dialogue with you.
Leo, you remind
me of Carl Whittaker who said his theory of how to do therapy is to have no
theory at all. Well, that's a theory. I do see your goal is to have no goals. I
think that's better than having goals in the way you describe. You give a great
description of goal setting can be so frustrating. The problem isn't goals,
it's attachment to goals. Attachment causes suffering. So make all the goals
you want, even a goal of having no goals, just don't attach any feelings of self-worth
or happiness to them. How's that for a goal?
Eddie Reece,
MS, LPC
Leo, you remind
me of Carl Whittaker who said his theory of how to do therapy is to have no
theory at all. Well, that's a theory. I do see your goal is to have no goals. I
think that's better than having goals in the way you describe. You give a great
description of goal setting can be so frustrating. The problem isn't goals,
it's attachment to goals. Attachment causes suffering. So make all the goals
you want, even a goal of having no goals, just don't attach any feelings of self-worth
or happiness to them. How's that for a goal?
Eddie Reece,
MS, LPC
People should not blame Daily Good for posting this article. That's life! Life is about discovery and invention of now things; life styles, methods of dealing with problems, etc.
They did good to present that for public consumption, giving a free platform for people like me to comprehend and either take or reject. To me, i have a multitude of lessons i have tapped from the article and it will go along way to informing my decisions and the way i do things.
Never make life a monotony, it will in the end bore you. You will hate yourself, the people around you and the things that you use.
Thanks Daily Good for always being good!
Thanks for the article, the tutorial- You have taught me a new and workable channel of life. Ahmed
I just left a relationship because the guy couldn't plan ahead - or make a best guess - about our relationship in the future. He wanted to keep coasting along (his words), not living together, not making any commitment to each other. We're in our mid-50s. He was enthusiastic about our relationship day-to-day, and enjoying our times together, as Babauta recommends doing.....but when it comes to making a life with another person, it isn't as if two houses are going to tiptoe during the night until they are united in commitment bliss. You can't move in together accidentally, or on one day when you both happen to realize - "Hey, yay, I suddenly find joy in planning a lifetime together with you! Oh really? Me too, so let's do that today. But tomorrow, well, maybe not. Depends on what I feel like doing." One has to make a decision, one has to make a plan. Planning on being with a special someone for the rest of your life is more of a lifetime guarantee than not making such plans.
[Hide Full Comment]I just left a relationship because the guy couldn't plan ahead - or make a best guess - about our relationship in the future. He wanted to keep coasting along (his words), not living together, not making any commitment to each other. We're in our mid-50s. He was enthusiastic about our relationship day-to-day, and enjoying our times together, as Babauta recommends doing.....but when it comes to making a life with another person, it isn't as if two houses are going to tiptoe during the night until they are united in commitment bliss. You can't move in together accidentally, or on one day when you both happen to realize - Hey, yay, I suddenly find joy in planning a lifetime together with you! Oh really? Me too, so let's do that today. But tomorrow, well, maybe not. Depends on what I feel like doing. One has to make a decision, one has to make a plan. Planning on being with a special someone for the rest of your life is more of a lifetime guarantee than not making such plans.
[Hide Full Comment]Pure rubbish. And yes, not wanting to have no goals is a goal, plain and simple. This reflects the life od an individual who has no ambition and will see success in anything to justify their behaviours. I'm surprised and even more disppointed this article was actually published by Daily Good.
Most of us are focused on the attainment of our goals, in a
vain attempt to fill our existential vacuum and our moods tend to be
determined by our apparent successes and failures. We strive for money to exist and end up doing
jobs we don’t like, for too long a time and end up losing our connection with
our spiritual nature. We worry too much and
spend a lot of our time thinking of ways to escape our monotony; we fill our
heads with thoughts and deny our feelings, especially the ones that inform us
of the emptiness within. We become human
doings and work harder and longer, to fill our emptiness, with all sorts of
palliatives, but at the same time our dissatisfaction grows and our anxiety
increases.
Goals demand that we stay focused on the future, which will
[Hide Full Comment]keep us from actually enjoying the fruits of our labours, and can become
missions of false hope, in difficult times.
The reality of goal planning is that it won’t go to plan and the harder
we try to force our ideas onto the world and control it, the more resistance we
will face, and the more unhappy we will become.
We need to recognise that most of our goals manifest from our Ego’s need
to be powerful, and the achievement of these goals, is not always dependent on
our planning, resourcefulness and management skills, but on our ability to
adapt to life changes. Goals are a
construction of the mind, which is of a dual nature, so to gain something we
have to lose something else; wholeness manifests when we are able to let go of
all goals and just be with what is, and this is spiritual mastery. - The art of Being Human - John Anderson
The idea of a goal is a desired destination... so is living passionately. They are mutual if indeed they are yours and not someone elses.
Quite wonderful. This could be a life changer. Thank you so much. Nick
I actually combine having goals with doing what I feel like. Many people consider the goal setting process to be tyrannical the way you describe. Perhaps it's better said this way, I have big visions of what I want to create, and what I want my life to be like. And as much as possible I only ever do what I feel like. There is a sense of alignment in that - I am aligned with the flow of life. I have lists, but if I don't feel like doing something I put it on the bottom and eventually it falls off the list.
Now I should say that it took me years to get my work life to a place where I can actually get away with doing that - but it's also the secret of my success. I have two people working for me, part time, doing stuff I don't like but they do. I work for myself at home - not even my husband knows how little I work some days. (When I'm not working, I'm usually dreaming about my vision).
And sometimes I just have to haul myself by the butt and do things I don't wanna do but are necessary for my dreams.
And I have a huge amount of focus and discipline because I'm working on my dream, that helps.
[Hide Full Comment]Very Nice. Great Article. But it is difficult in routine life when you have so much responsibility on yourself, that you do only what you are passionate about. Anyway Thanks for a thought provoking article. :-) Cheers.