Mae'n ymddangos bod y syniad o gael nodau pendant, cyraeddadwy wedi'i wreiddio'n ddwfn yn ein diwylliant. Rwy'n gwybod fy mod wedi byw gyda nodau ers blynyddoedd lawer, ac mewn gwirionedd mae rhan fawr o'm hysgrifau yma ar Zen Habits yn ymwneud â sut i osod a chyflawni nodau.
Y dyddiau hyn, fodd bynnag, rwy'n byw heb nodau, ar y cyfan. Mae'n gwbl ryddhadol, ac yn groes i'r hyn y gallech fod wedi'i ddysgu, nid yw'n golygu eich bod yn rhoi'r gorau i gyflawni pethau.
Mae'n golygu eich bod chi'n rhoi'r gorau i adael i chi'ch hun gael eich cyfyngu gan nodau.
Ystyriwch y gred gyffredin hon: “Ni fyddwch byth yn cyrraedd unrhyw le oni bai eich bod yn gwybod i ble rydych chi'n mynd.” Mae hyn yn ymddangos mor gyffredin synhwyrus, ac eto mae'n amlwg nad yw'n wir os byddwch yn stopio i feddwl am y peth. Cynhaliwch arbrawf syml: ewch allan a cherddwch ar hap, ac mae croeso i chi newid cyfeiriad ar hap. Ar ôl 20 munud, awr ... byddwch yn rhywle! Dim ond nad oeddech chi'n gwybod eich bod chi am ddod i ben yno.
Ac mae'r rhwyg: mae'n rhaid ichi agor eich meddwl i lefydd nad oeddech chi erioed wedi disgwyl mynd. Os ydych chi'n byw heb nodau, byddwch chi'n archwilio tiriogaeth newydd. Byddwch yn dysgu rhai pethau annisgwyl. Byddwch yn y pen draw mewn mannau syndod. Dyna harddwch yr athroniaeth hon, ond mae hefyd yn drawsnewidiad anodd.
Heddiw, rwy'n byw heb nodau yn bennaf. Yn awr ac yn y man rwy'n dechrau dod i fyny gyda gôl, ond rwy'n gadael iddynt fynd. Nid yw byw heb nodau erioed wedi bod yn nod gwirioneddol i mi ... mae'n rhywbeth rwy'n ei ddysgu yr wyf yn ei fwynhau'n fwy, sy'n hynod ryddhad, sy'n gweithio gyda'r ffordd o fyw o ddilyn fy angerdd yr wyf wedi'i ddatblygu.
Y broblem gyda nodau
Yn y gorffennol, roeddwn wedi gosod nod neu dri ar gyfer y flwyddyn, ac yna is-nodau ar gyfer pob mis. Yna byddwn yn darganfod pa gamau gweithredu i'w cymryd bob wythnos a phob dydd, a cheisio canolbwyntio fy niwrnod ar y camau hynny.
Yn anffodus, nid yw byth yn gweithio allan hyn yn daclus. Rydych chi i gyd yn gwybod hyn. Rydych chi'n gwybod bod angen i chi weithio ar gam gweithredu, ac rydych chi'n ceisio cadw'r nod terfynol mewn cof i ysgogi'ch hun. Ond efallai y bydd y cam gweithredu hwn yn rhywbeth yr ydych yn ei ofni, ac felly'n oedi. Rydych chi'n gwneud gwaith arall, neu'n gwirio e-bost neu Facebook, neu rydych chi'n goof off.
Ac felly mae eich nodau wythnosol a'ch goliau misol yn cael eu gwthio yn ôl neu eu hochr-dracio, a byddwch yn cael eich digalonni oherwydd nad oes gennych unrhyw ddisgyblaeth. Ac mae nodau'n rhy anodd i'w cyflawni. Felly beth nawr? Wel, rydych chi'n adolygu'ch nodau ac yn eu hailosod. Rydych chi'n creu set newydd o is-nodau a chynlluniau gweithredu. Rydych chi'n gwybod i ble rydych chi'n mynd, oherwydd mae gennych chi nodau!
Wrth gwrs, nid ydych chi mewn gwirionedd yn cyrraedd yno. Weithiau rydych chi'n cyrraedd y nod ac yna rydych chi'n teimlo'n anhygoel. Ond y rhan fwyaf o'r amser nid ydych chi'n eu cyflawni ac rydych chi'n rhoi'r bai arnoch chi'ch hun.
Dyma'r gyfrinach: nid chi yw'r broblem, y system yw hi! Mae nodau fel system yn cael eu gosod ar gyfer methiant.
Hyd yn oed pan fyddwch chi'n gwneud pethau'n union iawn, nid yw'n ddelfrydol. Dyma pam: rydych chi'n gyfyngedig iawn yn eich gweithredoedd. Pan nad ydych chi'n teimlo fel gwneud rhywbeth, mae'n rhaid i chi orfodi'ch hun i'w wneud. Dewisir eich llwybr, felly nid oes gennych le i archwilio tiriogaeth newydd. Mae'n rhaid i chi ddilyn y cynllun, hyd yn oed pan fyddwch chi'n angerddol am rywbeth arall.
Mae rhai systemau nod yn fwy hyblyg, ond nid oes dim mor hyblyg â heb nodau.
Sut mae'n gweithio
Felly sut olwg sydd ar fywyd heb nodau? Yn ymarferol, mae'n wahanol iawn nag un gyda nodau.
Nid ydych yn gosod nod ar gyfer y flwyddyn, nac ar gyfer y mis, nac ar gyfer yr wythnos na'r diwrnod. Nid ydych yn obsesiwn am olrhain, neu gamau gweithredu. Nid oes angen rhestr o bethau i'w gwneud hyd yn oed, er nad yw'n brifo ysgrifennu nodiadau atgoffa os dymunwch.
Beth ydych chi'n ei wneud, felly? Gorwedd o gwmpas ar y soffa drwy'r dydd, cysgu a gwylio'r teledu a bwyta Ho-Hos? Na, yn syml, rydych chi'n ei wneud. Rydych chi'n dod o hyd i rywbeth rydych chi'n angerddol amdano, ac yn ei wneud. Nid yw'r ffaith nad oes gennych nodau yn golygu nad ydych yn gwneud dim - gallwch greu, gallwch gynhyrchu, gallwch ddilyn eich angerdd.
Ac yn ymarferol, mae hyn yn beth gwych: rydych chi'n deffro ac yn gwneud yr hyn rydych chi'n angerddol amdano. I mi, blogio yw hynny fel arfer, ond gall fod yn ysgrifennu nofel neu e-lyfr neu fy llyfr nesaf neu greu cwrs i helpu eraill neu gysylltu â phobl anhygoel neu dreulio amser gyda fy ngwraig neu chwarae gyda fy mhlant. Does dim terfyn, oherwydd rydw i'n rhydd.
Yn y diwedd, rydw i fel arfer yn cyflawni mwy na phe bai gen i nodau, oherwydd rydw i bob amser yn gwneud rhywbeth rydw i'n gyffrous yn ei gylch. Ond nid p'un a ydw i'n cyflawni ai peidio yw'r pwynt o gwbl: y cyfan sy'n bwysig yw fy mod i'n gwneud yr hyn rydw i'n ei garu, bob amser.
Dwi'n diweddu mewn llefydd sy'n fendigedig, yn syndod, yn wych. Doeddwn i ddim yn gwybod y byddwn i'n cyrraedd yno pan ddechreuais.
Cwestiynau cyflym
Cwestiwn gan ddarllenydd: Onid nod yw bod heb nodau?
Ateb cyflym: Gall fod yn nod, neu gallwch ddysgu ei wneud ar hyd y daith, trwy archwilio dulliau newydd. Rwyf bob amser yn dysgu pethau newydd (fel dim nodau) heb fynd ati i'w dysgu yn y lle cyntaf.
Cwestiwn arall gan ddarllenydd: Felly sut mae gwneud bywoliaeth?
Ateb: Yn angerddol! Unwaith eto, nid yw peidio â chael nodau yn golygu eich bod yn rhoi'r gorau i wneud pethau. A dweud y gwir, rwy'n gwneud llawer o bethau, drwy'r amser, ond rwy'n eu gwneud oherwydd rwyf wrth fy modd yn eu gwneud.
Syniadau ar gyfer byw heb nodau
Nid wyf yn mynd i roi llawlyfr sut i fyw heb nodau ichi—byddai hynny’n hurt. Ni allaf ddysgu ichi beth i'w wneud - mae angen ichi ddod o hyd i'ch llwybr eich hun.
Ond gallaf rannu rhai pethau rydw i wedi'u dysgu, yn y gobaith y bydd yn eich helpu chi:
- Dechreuwch yn fach. Nid oes angen i chi ailwampio'ch bywyd yn sylweddol er mwyn dysgu byw heb nodau. Ewch ychydig oriau heb nodau neu gamau gweithredu a bennwyd ymlaen llaw. Dilynwch eich angerdd am yr oriau hynny. Bydd hyd yn oed awr yn ei wneud.
- Tyfu. Wrth i chi wella ar hyn, dechreuwch ganiatáu i chi'ch hun fod yn rhydd am gyfnodau hirach - hanner diwrnod neu ddiwrnod cyfan neu sawl diwrnod. Yn y pen draw byddwch chi'n teimlo'n ddigon hyderus i roi'r gorau i nodau penodol a gwneud yr hyn rydych chi'n ei garu.
- Nid dim ond gwaith. Mae rhoi'r gorau i nodau yn gweithio mewn unrhyw faes o'ch bywyd. Cymerwch iechyd a ffitrwydd: Roeddwn i'n arfer cael nodau ffitrwydd penodol, o golli pwysau neu fraster corff i redeg marathon i gynyddu fy sgwat. Ddim bellach: nawr dwi'n ei wneud oherwydd fy mod i'n ei garu, a does gen i ddim syniad i ble y bydd hynny'n mynd â mi. Mae'n gweithio'n wych, oherwydd rydw i bob amser yn mwynhau fy hun.
- Rhoi'r gorau i gynlluniau. Nid yw cynlluniau mewn gwirionedd yn wahanol i nodau. Maent yn eich gosod ar lwybr a bennwyd ymlaen llaw. Ond mae'n anhygoel o anodd gadael i fyw gyda chynlluniau, yn enwedig os ydych chi'n gynlluniwr manwl fel fi. Felly gadewch i chi'ch hun gynllunio, pan fyddwch chi'n teimlo bod angen i chi wneud hynny, ond yn araf bach mae croeso i chi roi'r gorau i'r arfer hwn.
- Peidiwch â phoeni am gamgymeriadau. Os byddwch chi'n dechrau gosod nodau, mae hynny'n iawn. Nid oes unrhyw gamgymeriadau ar y daith hon—dim ond profiad dysgu ydyw. Os ydych chi'n byw heb nodau ac yn methu yn y pen draw, gofynnwch i chi'ch hun a yw'n fethiant mewn gwirionedd. Dim ond os na fyddwch chi'n cyrraedd lle'r oeddech chi eisiau mynd y byddwch chi'n methu - ond os nad oes gennych chi gyrchfan mewn golwg, does dim methiant.
- Mae'r cyfan yn dda. Ni waeth pa lwybr y byddwch chi'n dod o hyd iddo, ni waeth ble rydych chi'n dod i ben, mae'n brydferth. Nid oes llwybr gwael, dim cyrchfan ddrwg. Dim ond yn wahanol, ac mae gwahanol yn fendigedig. Peidiwch â barnu, ond profiad.
Ac yn olaf
Cofiwch bob amser: y daith yw'r cyfan. Mae'r gyrchfan wrth ymyl y pwynt.
'Nid oes gan deithiwr da unrhyw gynlluniau sefydlog, ac nid yw'n bwriadu cyrraedd.' ~ Lao Tzu
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As John Lennon once said in a song, "Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans."
Set goals but do not let them abandon you. Approach one goal at a time then take some time off, start from the smallest goal then go to the next one and so on. Appreciate the time having goals and enjoy the time without goals.
We can't just let the goals all the time, in life there are some critical seconds which we need to plane and set goals. The thing is we need to have a balance between our focus and our vision. Focus on the goals you have set and have the broad vision of all aspects to make you feel happy and stay relaxed.
Interesting! And well written! Live purposefully and allow purpose to manifest and in giving free time to explore adds to this journey. This article raises great point that if we are boggged down by mindful presets then we can not truly acheive the path of our own successes. Do what you love and you'll love what you are doing! And at a point if this does seem unattainable.. ask why and how and when can it occur. Dont give up or in!
To me, goals and planning are a means to an end and that feels limiting , "in the box" so to speak. For me, that is contrary to being in the "NOW". My heaven is definitely in the journey!
Wonderfull article. I discovered few years ago this way of life, without knowing it, by visiting London alone. And this allows me to discover some superbe hidden area of the city and also to meet very intersting people. It was the best city treap of my life. And now after reading the article and what I know, I understand what makes the difference. I can understand that: letting go your goals, observing by feeling your sensations, make it easy to connect to the intelligence of the universe. And this allows you to be in the right place at the right time.
I have been at the receiving end of life from the last 3-4 years. I dont know what I like, what I want to do and where I want to reach. I have been working with myself. At one end I am okay with having no predetermined goals in life, but on the other end it becomes too much to handle psychologically. I feel I am lost. At 38 years of age, it feels that I have done or achieved anything.
But slowly I am also becoming clear that there can be life beyond goals, objectives and plans. And many a times I work and live without a goal. And I do "what I want to do" rather than "What I have to do" and even if it is only an hour it gives immense pleasure. It gives me pleasure as I feel I grew to the next maturity level in that one hour.
Thanks for writing on this and I would like to continue this dialogue with you.
Leo, you remind
me of Carl Whittaker who said his theory of how to do therapy is to have no
theory at all. Well, that's a theory. I do see your goal is to have no goals. I
think that's better than having goals in the way you describe. You give a great
description of goal setting can be so frustrating. The problem isn't goals,
it's attachment to goals. Attachment causes suffering. So make all the goals
you want, even a goal of having no goals, just don't attach any feelings of self-worth
or happiness to them. How's that for a goal?
Eddie Reece,
MS, LPC
Leo, you remind
me of Carl Whittaker who said his theory of how to do therapy is to have no
theory at all. Well, that's a theory. I do see your goal is to have no goals. I
think that's better than having goals in the way you describe. You give a great
description of goal setting can be so frustrating. The problem isn't goals,
it's attachment to goals. Attachment causes suffering. So make all the goals
you want, even a goal of having no goals, just don't attach any feelings of self-worth
or happiness to them. How's that for a goal?
Eddie Reece,
MS, LPC
People should not blame Daily Good for posting this article. That's life! Life is about discovery and invention of now things; life styles, methods of dealing with problems, etc.
They did good to present that for public consumption, giving a free platform for people like me to comprehend and either take or reject. To me, i have a multitude of lessons i have tapped from the article and it will go along way to informing my decisions and the way i do things.
Never make life a monotony, it will in the end bore you. You will hate yourself, the people around you and the things that you use.
Thanks Daily Good for always being good!
Thanks for the article, the tutorial- You have taught me a new and workable channel of life. Ahmed
I just left a relationship because the guy couldn't plan ahead - or make a best guess - about our relationship in the future. He wanted to keep coasting along (his words), not living together, not making any commitment to each other. We're in our mid-50s. He was enthusiastic about our relationship day-to-day, and enjoying our times together, as Babauta recommends doing.....but when it comes to making a life with another person, it isn't as if two houses are going to tiptoe during the night until they are united in commitment bliss. You can't move in together accidentally, or on one day when you both happen to realize - "Hey, yay, I suddenly find joy in planning a lifetime together with you! Oh really? Me too, so let's do that today. But tomorrow, well, maybe not. Depends on what I feel like doing." One has to make a decision, one has to make a plan. Planning on being with a special someone for the rest of your life is more of a lifetime guarantee than not making such plans.
[Hide Full Comment]I just left a relationship because the guy couldn't plan ahead - or make a best guess - about our relationship in the future. He wanted to keep coasting along (his words), not living together, not making any commitment to each other. We're in our mid-50s. He was enthusiastic about our relationship day-to-day, and enjoying our times together, as Babauta recommends doing.....but when it comes to making a life with another person, it isn't as if two houses are going to tiptoe during the night until they are united in commitment bliss. You can't move in together accidentally, or on one day when you both happen to realize - Hey, yay, I suddenly find joy in planning a lifetime together with you! Oh really? Me too, so let's do that today. But tomorrow, well, maybe not. Depends on what I feel like doing. One has to make a decision, one has to make a plan. Planning on being with a special someone for the rest of your life is more of a lifetime guarantee than not making such plans.
[Hide Full Comment]Pure rubbish. And yes, not wanting to have no goals is a goal, plain and simple. This reflects the life od an individual who has no ambition and will see success in anything to justify their behaviours. I'm surprised and even more disppointed this article was actually published by Daily Good.
Most of us are focused on the attainment of our goals, in a
vain attempt to fill our existential vacuum and our moods tend to be
determined by our apparent successes and failures. We strive for money to exist and end up doing
jobs we don’t like, for too long a time and end up losing our connection with
our spiritual nature. We worry too much and
spend a lot of our time thinking of ways to escape our monotony; we fill our
heads with thoughts and deny our feelings, especially the ones that inform us
of the emptiness within. We become human
doings and work harder and longer, to fill our emptiness, with all sorts of
palliatives, but at the same time our dissatisfaction grows and our anxiety
increases.
Goals demand that we stay focused on the future, which will
[Hide Full Comment]keep us from actually enjoying the fruits of our labours, and can become
missions of false hope, in difficult times.
The reality of goal planning is that it won’t go to plan and the harder
we try to force our ideas onto the world and control it, the more resistance we
will face, and the more unhappy we will become.
We need to recognise that most of our goals manifest from our Ego’s need
to be powerful, and the achievement of these goals, is not always dependent on
our planning, resourcefulness and management skills, but on our ability to
adapt to life changes. Goals are a
construction of the mind, which is of a dual nature, so to gain something we
have to lose something else; wholeness manifests when we are able to let go of
all goals and just be with what is, and this is spiritual mastery. - The art of Being Human - John Anderson
The idea of a goal is a desired destination... so is living passionately. They are mutual if indeed they are yours and not someone elses.
Quite wonderful. This could be a life changer. Thank you so much. Nick
I actually combine having goals with doing what I feel like. Many people consider the goal setting process to be tyrannical the way you describe. Perhaps it's better said this way, I have big visions of what I want to create, and what I want my life to be like. And as much as possible I only ever do what I feel like. There is a sense of alignment in that - I am aligned with the flow of life. I have lists, but if I don't feel like doing something I put it on the bottom and eventually it falls off the list.
Now I should say that it took me years to get my work life to a place where I can actually get away with doing that - but it's also the secret of my success. I have two people working for me, part time, doing stuff I don't like but they do. I work for myself at home - not even my husband knows how little I work some days. (When I'm not working, I'm usually dreaming about my vision).
And sometimes I just have to haul myself by the butt and do things I don't wanna do but are necessary for my dreams.
And I have a huge amount of focus and discipline because I'm working on my dream, that helps.
[Hide Full Comment]Very Nice. Great Article. But it is difficult in routine life when you have so much responsibility on yourself, that you do only what you are passionate about. Anyway Thanks for a thought provoking article. :-) Cheers.