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Najboljši Gol Je Brez Cilja

Zdi se, da je ideja o konkretnih, dosegljivih ciljih globoko zakoreninjena v naši kulturi. Vem, da sem dolga leta živel s cilji in pravzaprav je velik del mojih zapisov tukaj o Zen Habits o tem, kako postaviti in doseči cilje.

Te dni pa večinoma živim brez ciljev. To je popolnoma osvobajajoče in v nasprotju s tem, kar so vas morda učili, nikakor ne pomeni, da nehate dosegati stvari.

To pomeni, da se nehate pustiti omejevati s cilji.

Razmislite o tem splošnem prepričanju: "Nikoli ne boste prišli nikamor, če ne boste vedeli, kam greste." To se zdi tako običajno razumno, pa vendar očitno ni res, če o tem nehate razmišljati. Izvedite preprost poskus: pojdite ven in hodite v naključni smeri ter smeri lahko naključno spremenite. Po 20 minutah, eni uri … boste že nekje! Samo nisi vedel, da boš tam končal.

In tu je še težava: odpreti se moraš, da greš tja, kamor nisi pričakoval. Če živite brez ciljev, boste raziskovali novo ozemlje. Izvedeli boste nekaj nepričakovanih stvari. Končali boste na presenetljivih mestih. To je lepota te filozofije, vendar je tudi težak prehod.

Danes živim večinoma brez ciljev. Tu in tam si začnem postavljati cilje, a jih izpustim. Življenje brez ciljev nikoli ni bil moj dejanski cilj … to je le nekaj, v čemer se učim, v čemer bolj uživam, kar je neverjetno osvobajajoče, kar deluje z življenjskim slogom sledenja moji strasti, ki sem jo razvil.

Problem s cilji

V preteklosti sem si postavil cilj ali tri za leto in nato podcilje za vsak mesec. Nato bi ugotovil, katere korake ukrepati vsak teden in vsak dan, in poskušal svoj dan osredotočiti na te korake.

Na žalost nikoli, nikoli ne uspe tako dobro. Vsi to veste. Veste, da morate delati na akcijskem koraku, in poskušate imeti v mislih končni cilj, da se motivirate. Toda tega ukrepa se morda bojite in zato odlašate. Opravljaš drugo delo, ali preverjaš e-pošto ali Facebook, ali pa se zavajaš.

In tako so vaši tedenski cilji in mesečni cilji potisnjeni nazaj ali zanemarjeni in postanete malodušni, ker nimate discipline. In cilje je pretežko doseči. Kaj pa zdaj? No, pregledaš svoje cilje in jih ponastaviš. Ustvarite nov sklop podciljev in akcijskih načrtov. Veš kam greš, saj imaš cilje!

Seveda na koncu ne prideš tja. Včasih dosežeš cilj in takrat se počutiš čudovito. A največkrat jih ne dosežete in za to krivite sebe.

Tukaj je skrivnost: težava niste vi, temveč sistem! Cilji kot sistem so pripravljeni na neuspeh.

Tudi ko delaš stvari prav, ni idealno. Evo zakaj: v svojih dejanjih ste zelo omejeni. Ko se vam nekaj ne da narediti, se morate prisiliti, da to storite. Vaša pot je izbrana, zato nimate prostora za raziskovanje novega ozemlja. Načrtu moraš slediti, tudi ko te strastno zanima kaj drugega.

Nekateri sistemi ciljev so bolj prilagodljivi, vendar nič ni tako prilagodljivo kot brez ciljev.

Kako deluje

Kako je torej videti življenje brez ciljev? V praksi je zelo drugače kot pri ciljih.

Ne postavljate si cilja za leto, ne za mesec, ne za teden ali dan. Niste obsedeni s sledenjem ali dejanji. Ne potrebujete niti seznama opravkov, čeprav ne škodi, če si opomnike zapišete, če želite.

Kaj potem počneš? Ves dan preležati na kavču, spati, gledati televizijo in jesti Ho-Hos? Ne, preprosto narediš. Najdete nekaj, do česar ste strastni, in to naredite. Samo zato, ker nimate ciljev, ne pomeni, da ne počnete ničesar – lahko ustvarjate, lahko proizvajate, lahko sledite svoji strasti.

In v praksi je to čudovita stvar: zbudiš se in počneš tisto, kar te veseli. Zame je to običajno bloganje, vendar je to lahko pisanje romana ali e-knjige ali moje naslednje knjige ali ustvarjanje tečaja za pomoč drugim ali povezovanje z neverjetnimi ljudmi ali preživljanje časa z mojo ženo ali igranje z mojimi otroki. Ni omejitev, ker sem svoboden.

Na koncu običajno dosežem več, kot če bi imel cilje, saj vedno počnem nekaj, kar me veseli. Toda to, ali dosežem ali ne, sploh ni pomembno: pomembno je le, da delam to, kar imam rad, vedno.

Končam na mestih, ki so čudovita, presenetljiva, odlična. Preprosto nisem vedel, da bom prišel tja, ko sem začel.

Hitra vprašanja

Vprašanje bralca: Ali ni cilj brez ciljev?

Hiter odgovor: To je lahko cilj ali pa se tega naučite med potjo z raziskovanjem novih metod. Vedno se učim novih stvari (na primer, da nimam ciljev), ne da bi se jih sploh želel naučiti.

Še vprašanje bralke: Kako se torej preživljate?

Odgovor: Strastno! Še enkrat, če nimate ciljev, ne pomeni, da nehate delati stvari. Pravzaprav počnem veliko stvari, ves čas, a jih počnem, ker jih rad počnem.

Nasveti za življenje brez ciljev

Ne bom vam dal priročnika za življenje brez ciljev – to bi bilo absurdno. Ne morem te naučiti, kaj moraš storiti — najti moraš svojo pot.

Lahko pa delim nekaj stvari, ki sem se jih naučil, v upanju, da vam bodo pomagale:

  • Začni z majhnim. Ni vam treba drastično preoblikovati svojega življenja, da bi se naučili živeti brez ciljev. Preživite nekaj ur brez vnaprej določenih ciljev ali dejanj. Sledite svoji strasti za tiste ure. Tudi ena ura bo dovolj.
  • Rasti. Ko boste v tem boljši, si začnite dovoliti, da ste dlje časa prosti – pol dneva ali cel dan ali več dni. Sčasoma se boste počutili dovolj samozavestni, da boste opustili določene cilje in delali samo tisto, kar imate radi.
  • Ne samo delo. Opuščanje ciljev deluje na vseh področjih vašega življenja. Vzemite zdravje in kondicijo: Včasih sem imel posebne cilje glede telesne pripravljenosti, od izgube teže ali telesne maščobe do teka maratona do povečanja števila počepov. Ne več: zdaj to počnem samo zato, ker mi je všeč, in ne vem, kam me bo to pripeljalo. Deluje odlično, ker vedno uživam.
  • Opusti načrte. Načrti se pravzaprav ne razlikujejo od ciljev. Postavijo te na vnaprej določeno pot. Vendar je neverjetno težko opustiti življenje z načrti, še posebej, če ste natančen načrtovalec, kot sem jaz. Zato si dovolite načrtovati, ko čutite, da morate, vendar počasi opustite to navado.
  • Ne skrbite za napake. Če si začnete postavljati cilje, je to v redu. Na tej poti ni napak – je le učna izkušnja. Če živite brez ciljev in vam na koncu ne uspe, se vprašajte, ali je to res neuspeh. Ne uspeš samo, če ne prideš tja, kamor si želel — a če nimaš cilja v mislih, ni neuspeha.
  • Vse je v redu. Ne glede na to, kakšno pot najdeš, ne glede na to, kje končaš, lepo je. Ni slabe poti, ni slabega cilja. Samo drugačen je in drugačen je čudovit. Ne obsojajte, ampak izkusite.

In končno

Vedno si zapomnite: potovanje je vse. Cilj je zraven.

'Dober popotnik nima fiksnih načrtov in ne namerava priti.' ~Lao Ce

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COMMUNITY REFLECTIONS

18 PAST RESPONSES

User avatar
Tobesograteful Forever Dec 15, 2013

As John Lennon once said in a song, "Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans."

User avatar
Diva Turial May 21, 2012

Set goals but do not let them abandon you. Approach one goal at a time then take some time off, start from the smallest goal  then go to the next one and so on. Appreciate the time having goals and enjoy the time without goals.
We can't just let the goals all the time, in life there are some critical seconds which we need to plane and set goals. The thing is we need to have a balance between our focus and our vision. Focus on the goals you have set and have the broad vision of all aspects to make you feel happy and stay relaxed.

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RuthyVirella Apr 15, 2012

Interesting! And well written! Live purposefully and allow purpose to manifest and in giving free time to explore adds to this journey. This article raises great point that if we are boggged down by mindful presets then we can not truly acheive the path of our own successes. Do what you love and you'll love what you are doing! And at a point if this does seem unattainable.. ask why and how and when can it occur. Dont give up or in!

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1divinechild Apr 4, 2012

To me, goals and planning are a means to an end and that feels limiting , "in the box" so to speak. For me, that is contrary to being in the "NOW". My heaven is definitely in the journey!

User avatar
Roger Gogniat Sep 14, 2011

Wonderfull article. I discovered few years ago this way of life, without knowing it, by visiting London alone. And this allows me to discover some superbe hidden area of the city and also to meet very intersting people. It was the best city treap of my life. And now after reading the article and what I know, I understand what makes the difference. I can understand that: letting go your goals, observing by feeling your sensations, make it easy to connect to the intelligence of the universe. And this allows you to be in the right place at the right time.

User avatar
Sheshadri Ravi Sep 4, 2011

I have been at the receiving end of life from the last 3-4 years. I dont know what I like, what I want to do and where I want to reach. I have been working with myself. At one end I am okay with having no predetermined goals in life, but on the other end it becomes too much to handle psychologically. I feel I am lost. At 38 years of age, it feels that I have done or achieved anything.

But slowly I am also becoming clear that there can be life beyond goals, objectives and plans. And many a times I work and live without a goal. And I do "what I want to do" rather than "What I have to do" and even if it is only an hour it gives immense pleasure. It gives me pleasure as I feel I grew to the next maturity level in that one hour.

Thanks for writing on this and I would like to continue this dialogue with you. 

User avatar
Eddie Reece,MS, LPC Sep 2, 2011

Leo, you remind
me of Carl Whittaker who said his theory of how to do therapy is to have no
theory at all. Well, that's a theory. I do see your goal is to have no goals. I
think that's better than having goals in the way you describe. You give a great
description of goal setting can be so frustrating. The problem isn't goals,
it's attachment to goals. Attachment causes suffering. So make all the goals
you want, even a goal of having no goals, just don't attach any feelings of self-worth
or happiness to them. How's that for a goal?

Eddie Reece,
MS, LPC

User avatar
Eddie Reece,MS, LPC Sep 2, 2011

Leo, you remind
me of Carl Whittaker who said his theory of how to do therapy is to have no
theory at all. Well, that's a theory. I do see your goal is to have no goals. I
think that's better than having goals in the way you describe. You give a great
description of goal setting can be so frustrating. The problem isn't goals,
it's attachment to goals. Attachment causes suffering. So make all the goals
you want, even a goal of having no goals, just don't attach any feelings of self-worth
or happiness to them. How's that for a goal?

Eddie Reece,
MS, LPC

User avatar
Kib2med Sep 2, 2011

People should not blame Daily Good for posting this article. That's life! Life is about discovery and invention of now things; life styles, methods of dealing with problems, etc.
They did good to present that for public consumption, giving a free platform for people like me to comprehend and either take or reject. To me, i have a multitude of lessons i have tapped from the article and it will go along way to informing my decisions and the way i do things.
Never make life a monotony, it will in the end bore you. You will hate yourself, the people around you and the things that you use.

Thanks Daily Good for always being good!

User avatar
Kib2med Sep 2, 2011

Thanks for the article, the tutorial- You have taught me a new and workable channel of life. Ahmed

User avatar
Mary Sep 1, 2011
I just left a relationship because the guy couldn't plan ahead - or make a best guess - about our relationship in the future.  He wanted to keep coasting along (his words), not living together,  not making any commitment to each other.  We're in our mid-50s.  He was enthusiastic about our relationship day-to-day, and enjoying our times together, as Babauta recommends doing.....but when it comes to making a life with another person, it isn't as if two houses are going to tiptoe during the night until they are united in commitment bliss.  You can't move in together accidentally, or on one day when you both happen to realize - "Hey, yay, I suddenly find joy in planning a lifetime together with you!  Oh really?  Me too, so let's do that today. But tomorrow, well, maybe not. Depends on what I feel like doing."  One has to make a decision, one has to make a plan.  Planning on being with a special someone for the rest of your life is more of a lifetime guarantee than not making such ... [View Full Comment]
User avatar
Mary Sep 1, 2011
I just left a relationship because the guy couldn't plan ahead - or make a best guess - about our relationship in the future.  He wanted to keep coasting along (his words), not living together,  not making any commitment to each other.  We're in our mid-50s.  He was enthusiastic about our relationship day-to-day, and enjoying our times together, as Babauta recommends doing.....but when it comes to making a life with another person, it isn't as if two houses are going to tiptoe during the night until they are united in commitment bliss.  You can't move in together accidentally, or on one day when you both happen to realize - Hey, yay, I suddenly find joy in planning a lifetime together with you!  Oh really?  Me too, so let's do that today. But tomorrow, well, maybe not. Depends on what I feel like doing.  One has to make a decision, one has to make a plan.  Planning on being with a special someone for the rest of your life is more of a lifetime guarantee than not making such p... [View Full Comment]
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Joe Palko Sr. Sep 1, 2011

Pure rubbish. And yes, not wanting to have no goals is a goal, plain and simple. This reflects the life od an individual who has no ambition and will see success in anything to justify their behaviours. I'm surprised and even more disppointed this article was actually published by Daily Good.

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John Anderson Sep 1, 2011
Most of us are focused on the attainment of our goals, in avain attempt to fill our existential vacuum and our moods tend to bedetermined by our apparent successes and failures.  We strive for money to exist and end up doingjobs we don’t like, for too long a time and end up losing our connection withour spiritual nature.  We worry too much andspend a lot of our time thinking of ways to escape our monotony; we fill ourheads with thoughts and deny our feelings, especially the ones that inform usof the emptiness within.  We become humandoings and work harder and longer, to fill our emptiness, with all sorts ofpalliatives, but at the same time our dissatisfaction grows and our anxietyincreases.Goals demand that we stay focused on the future, which willkeep us from actually enjoying the fruits of our labours, and can becomemissions of false hope, in difficult times. The reality of goal planning is that it won’t go to plan and the harderwe try to force our ideas onto the world and co... [View Full Comment]
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Colleen Sep 1, 2011

The idea of a  goal is a desired destination... so is living passionately. They are mutual if indeed they are yours and not someone elses.

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Nick Heap Sep 1, 2011

Quite wonderful. This could be a life changer. Thank you so much. Nick

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Vanessa Sep 1, 2011
I actually combine having goals with doing what I feel like. Many people consider the goal setting process to be tyrannical the way you describe. Perhaps it's better said this way, I have big visions of what I want to create, and what I want my life to be like. And as much as possible I only ever do what I feel like. There is a sense of alignment in that - I am aligned with the flow of life. I have lists, but if I don't feel like doing something I put it on the bottom and eventually it falls off the list. Now I should say that it took me years to get my work life to a place where I can actually get away with doing that - but it's also the secret of my success. I have two people working for me, part time, doing stuff I don't like but they do. I work for myself at home - not even my husband knows how little I work some days. (When I'm not working, I'm usually dreaming about my vision). And sometimes I just have to haul myself by the butt and do things I don't wanna do but are necessary... [View Full Comment]
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Aakash Jivani Sep 1, 2011

Very Nice. Great Article. But it is difficult in routine life when you have so much responsibility on yourself, that you do only what you are passionate about.  Anyway Thanks for a thought provoking article. :-) Cheers.