Čini se da je ideja o konkretnim, ostvarivim ciljevima duboko ukorijenjena u našu kulturu. Znam da sam mnogo godina živio s ciljevima i zapravo veliki dio mojih tekstova ovdje o Zen navikama govori o tome kako postaviti i postići ciljeve.
Ovih dana, međutim, uglavnom živim bez ciljeva. Apsolutno je oslobađajuće, i suprotno onome što su vas možda učili, to apsolutno ne znači da prestajete postizati stvari.
To znači da prestajete dopuštati da vas ograničavaju ciljevi.
Razmislite o ovom uobičajenom uvjerenju: "Nikada nećete stići ako ne znate kamo idete." Ovo se čini tako razumnim, a ipak očito nije istina ako malo razmislite o tome. Provedite jednostavan eksperiment: izađite van i hodajte u nasumičnim smjerovima i slobodno nasumično mijenjajte smjerove. Nakon 20 minuta, sat vremena... bit ćete negdje! Samo što nisi znao da ćeš tamo završiti.
I tu je problem: morate otvoriti svoj um za odlazak na mjesta na koja niste očekivali. Ako živite bez ciljeva, istražit ćete novi teritorij. Naučit ćete neke neočekivane stvari. Završit ćete na iznenađujućim mjestima. To je ljepota ove filozofije, ali je također i težak prijelaz.
Danas živim uglavnom bez ciljeva. S vremena na vrijeme počnem smišljati cilj, ali ih puštam. Život bez ciljeva nikada nije bio moj stvarni cilj... to je samo nešto u čemu učim da više uživam, što je nevjerojatno oslobađajuće, što funkcionira sa životnim stilom slijeđenja moje strasti koju sam razvio.
Problem s golovima
U prošlosti sam si postavio cilj ili tri za godinu, a zatim podciljeve za svaki mjesec. Zatim bih smislio koje korake poduzeti svaki tjedan i svaki dan i pokušao svoj dan usredotočiti na te korake.
Nažalost, to nikada, baš nikad ne funkcionira ovako uredno. Svi znate ovo. Znate da trebate raditi na akcijskom koraku i pokušavate imati krajnji cilj na umu kako biste se motivirali. Ali možda biste se plašili ovog koraka akcije, pa odugovlačite. Radite drugi posao, ili provjeravate e-poštu ili Facebook, ili se zajebavate.
I tako se vaši tjedni ciljevi i mjesečni ciljevi guraju unatrag ili skreću s puta, a vi se obeshrabrujete jer nemate discipline. A ciljeve je preteško postići. I što sad? Pa, pregledajte svoje ciljeve i poništite ih. Stvarate novi skup podciljeva i akcijskih planova. Znate kamo idete, jer imate ciljeve!
Naravno, zapravo nećete doći tamo. Ponekad postignete cilj i tada se osjećate nevjerojatno. Ali najčešće ih ne postignete i za to krivite sebe.
Evo tajne: problem niste vi, problem je u sustavu! Ciljevi kao sustav su postavljeni za neuspjeh.
Čak i kada radite stvari kako treba, to nije idealno. Evo zašto: vrlo ste ograničeni u svojim postupcima. Kad vam se nešto ne radi, morate se prisiliti na to. Vaš put je odabran, tako da nemate prostora za istraživanje novog teritorija. Morate slijediti plan, čak i kada ste strastveni oko nečeg drugog.
Neki sustavi ciljeva su fleksibilniji, ali ništa nije tako fleksibilno kao nemati ciljeve.
Kako radi
Kako onda izgleda život bez ciljeva? U praksi je to mnogo drugačije od onog s ciljevima.
Ne postavljate cilj za godinu, ni za mjesec, ni za tjedan ili dan. Niste opsjednuti praćenjem ili djelotvornim koracima. Čak vam i ne treba popis obaveza, iako ne škodi zapisati podsjetnike ako želite.
Što onda radite? Ležati na kauču cijeli dan, spavati i gledati TV i jesti Ho-Hos? Ne, jednostavno radiš. Pronađete nešto oko čega ste strastveni i radite to. Samo zato što nemate ciljeve ne znači da ne radite ništa — možete stvarati, možete proizvoditi, možete slijediti svoju strast.
A u praksi, ovo je prekrasna stvar: probudite se i radite ono što vam je strast. Za mene je to obično bloganje, ali to može biti pisanje romana ili e-knjige ili moje sljedeće knjige ili stvaranje tečaja za pomoć drugima ili povezivanje s nevjerojatnim ljudima ili provođenje vremena sa svojom ženom ili igranje sa svojom djecom. Nema ograničenja, jer ja sam slobodan.
Na kraju obično završim tako da postignem više nego da imam ciljeve, jer uvijek radim nešto što me veseli. Ali uopće nije bitno hoću li uspjeti ili ne: važno je samo da radim ono što volim, uvijek.
Završim na mjestima koja su divna, iznenađujuća, sjajna. Samo nisam znao da ću stići tamo kad sam počeo.
Brza pitanja
Pitanje čitatelja: Nije li cilj nemati ciljeve?
Brzi odgovor: To može biti cilj ili to možete naučiti tijekom putovanja, istražujući nove metode. Uvijek učim nove stvari (kao što je to što nemam ciljeve) a da ih uopće nisam namjeravao naučiti.
Još jedno pitanje čitatelja: Pa kako zarađujete za život?
Odgovor: Strastveno! Opet, nemanje ciljeva ne znači da prestajete raditi stvari. Zapravo, radim mnoge stvari, cijelo vrijeme, ali radim ih jer ih volim raditi.
Savjeti za život bez ciljeva
Neću vam dati priručnik kako živjeti bez ciljeva — to bi bilo apsurdno. Ne mogu te naučiti što da radiš — moraš pronaći svoj vlastiti put.
Ali mogu podijeliti neke stvari koje sam naučio, u nadi da će vam pomoći:
- Počnite s malim. Ne morate drastično mijenjati svoj život kako biste naučili živjeti bez ciljeva. Provedite nekoliko sati bez unaprijed određenih ciljeva ili radnji. Slijedite svoju strast tih sati. Dovoljno je i sat vremena.
- Rasti. Kako budete sve bolji u tome, počnite si dopuštati da budete slobodni dulja razdoblja - pola dana ili cijeli dan ili nekoliko dana. Na kraju ćete se osjećati dovoljno samouvjereno da odustanete od određenih ciljeva i radite samo ono što volite.
- Ne samo posao. Odustajanje od ciljeva funkcionira u bilo kojem području vašeg života. Uzmimo zdravlje i kondiciju: Nekad sam imao specifične ciljeve fitnessa, od gubitka težine ili tjelesne masnoće do trčanja maratona do povećanja broja čučnjeva. Ne više: sada to radim samo zato što to volim i nemam pojma kamo će me to odvesti. Radi briljantno, jer uvijek uživam.
- Pusti planove. Planovi se zapravo ne razlikuju od ciljeva. Usmjeravaju vas na unaprijed određeni put. Ali nevjerojatno je teško odustati od života s planovima, pogotovo ako ste pedantan planer poput mene. Dakle, dopustite si planiranje, kada osjetite da je potrebno, ali polako se slobodno oslobodite ove navike.
- Ne brinite zbog grešaka. Ako počnete postavljati ciljeve, to je u redu. Na ovom putovanju nema pogrešaka — to je samo iskustvo učenja. Ako živite bez ciljeva i na kraju doživite neuspjeh, zapitajte se je li to doista neuspjeh. Ne uspijevate samo ako ne stignete tamo gdje ste željeli ići — ali ako nemate odredište na umu, nema neuspjeha.
- Sve je dobro. Kakav god put da nađeš, gdje god da završiš, lijepo je. Ne postoji loš put, niti loše odredište. Samo je drugačije, a drugačije je prekrasno. Ne sudite, već iskusite.
I konačno
Uvijek zapamtite: putovanje je sve. Odredište nije bitno.
'Dobar putnik nema fiksne planove i ne namjerava stići.' ~Lao Ce
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As John Lennon once said in a song, "Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans."
Set goals but do not let them abandon you. Approach one goal at a time then take some time off, start from the smallest goal then go to the next one and so on. Appreciate the time having goals and enjoy the time without goals.
We can't just let the goals all the time, in life there are some critical seconds which we need to plane and set goals. The thing is we need to have a balance between our focus and our vision. Focus on the goals you have set and have the broad vision of all aspects to make you feel happy and stay relaxed.
Interesting! And well written! Live purposefully and allow purpose to manifest and in giving free time to explore adds to this journey. This article raises great point that if we are boggged down by mindful presets then we can not truly acheive the path of our own successes. Do what you love and you'll love what you are doing! And at a point if this does seem unattainable.. ask why and how and when can it occur. Dont give up or in!
To me, goals and planning are a means to an end and that feels limiting , "in the box" so to speak. For me, that is contrary to being in the "NOW". My heaven is definitely in the journey!
Wonderfull article. I discovered few years ago this way of life, without knowing it, by visiting London alone. And this allows me to discover some superbe hidden area of the city and also to meet very intersting people. It was the best city treap of my life. And now after reading the article and what I know, I understand what makes the difference. I can understand that: letting go your goals, observing by feeling your sensations, make it easy to connect to the intelligence of the universe. And this allows you to be in the right place at the right time.
I have been at the receiving end of life from the last 3-4 years. I dont know what I like, what I want to do and where I want to reach. I have been working with myself. At one end I am okay with having no predetermined goals in life, but on the other end it becomes too much to handle psychologically. I feel I am lost. At 38 years of age, it feels that I have done or achieved anything.
But slowly I am also becoming clear that there can be life beyond goals, objectives and plans. And many a times I work and live without a goal. And I do "what I want to do" rather than "What I have to do" and even if it is only an hour it gives immense pleasure. It gives me pleasure as I feel I grew to the next maturity level in that one hour.
Thanks for writing on this and I would like to continue this dialogue with you.
Leo, you remind
me of Carl Whittaker who said his theory of how to do therapy is to have no
theory at all. Well, that's a theory. I do see your goal is to have no goals. I
think that's better than having goals in the way you describe. You give a great
description of goal setting can be so frustrating. The problem isn't goals,
it's attachment to goals. Attachment causes suffering. So make all the goals
you want, even a goal of having no goals, just don't attach any feelings of self-worth
or happiness to them. How's that for a goal?
Eddie Reece,
MS, LPC
Leo, you remind
me of Carl Whittaker who said his theory of how to do therapy is to have no
theory at all. Well, that's a theory. I do see your goal is to have no goals. I
think that's better than having goals in the way you describe. You give a great
description of goal setting can be so frustrating. The problem isn't goals,
it's attachment to goals. Attachment causes suffering. So make all the goals
you want, even a goal of having no goals, just don't attach any feelings of self-worth
or happiness to them. How's that for a goal?
Eddie Reece,
MS, LPC
People should not blame Daily Good for posting this article. That's life! Life is about discovery and invention of now things; life styles, methods of dealing with problems, etc.
They did good to present that for public consumption, giving a free platform for people like me to comprehend and either take or reject. To me, i have a multitude of lessons i have tapped from the article and it will go along way to informing my decisions and the way i do things.
Never make life a monotony, it will in the end bore you. You will hate yourself, the people around you and the things that you use.
Thanks Daily Good for always being good!
Thanks for the article, the tutorial- You have taught me a new and workable channel of life. Ahmed
I just left a relationship because the guy couldn't plan ahead - or make a best guess - about our relationship in the future. He wanted to keep coasting along (his words), not living together, not making any commitment to each other. We're in our mid-50s. He was enthusiastic about our relationship day-to-day, and enjoying our times together, as Babauta recommends doing.....but when it comes to making a life with another person, it isn't as if two houses are going to tiptoe during the night until they are united in commitment bliss. You can't move in together accidentally, or on one day when you both happen to realize - "Hey, yay, I suddenly find joy in planning a lifetime together with you! Oh really? Me too, so let's do that today. But tomorrow, well, maybe not. Depends on what I feel like doing." One has to make a decision, one has to make a plan. Planning on being with a special someone for the rest of your life is more of a lifetime guarantee than not making such plans.
[Hide Full Comment]I just left a relationship because the guy couldn't plan ahead - or make a best guess - about our relationship in the future. He wanted to keep coasting along (his words), not living together, not making any commitment to each other. We're in our mid-50s. He was enthusiastic about our relationship day-to-day, and enjoying our times together, as Babauta recommends doing.....but when it comes to making a life with another person, it isn't as if two houses are going to tiptoe during the night until they are united in commitment bliss. You can't move in together accidentally, or on one day when you both happen to realize - Hey, yay, I suddenly find joy in planning a lifetime together with you! Oh really? Me too, so let's do that today. But tomorrow, well, maybe not. Depends on what I feel like doing. One has to make a decision, one has to make a plan. Planning on being with a special someone for the rest of your life is more of a lifetime guarantee than not making such plans.
[Hide Full Comment]Pure rubbish. And yes, not wanting to have no goals is a goal, plain and simple. This reflects the life od an individual who has no ambition and will see success in anything to justify their behaviours. I'm surprised and even more disppointed this article was actually published by Daily Good.
Most of us are focused on the attainment of our goals, in a
vain attempt to fill our existential vacuum and our moods tend to be
determined by our apparent successes and failures. We strive for money to exist and end up doing
jobs we don’t like, for too long a time and end up losing our connection with
our spiritual nature. We worry too much and
spend a lot of our time thinking of ways to escape our monotony; we fill our
heads with thoughts and deny our feelings, especially the ones that inform us
of the emptiness within. We become human
doings and work harder and longer, to fill our emptiness, with all sorts of
palliatives, but at the same time our dissatisfaction grows and our anxiety
increases.
Goals demand that we stay focused on the future, which will
[Hide Full Comment]keep us from actually enjoying the fruits of our labours, and can become
missions of false hope, in difficult times.
The reality of goal planning is that it won’t go to plan and the harder
we try to force our ideas onto the world and control it, the more resistance we
will face, and the more unhappy we will become.
We need to recognise that most of our goals manifest from our Ego’s need
to be powerful, and the achievement of these goals, is not always dependent on
our planning, resourcefulness and management skills, but on our ability to
adapt to life changes. Goals are a
construction of the mind, which is of a dual nature, so to gain something we
have to lose something else; wholeness manifests when we are able to let go of
all goals and just be with what is, and this is spiritual mastery. - The art of Being Human - John Anderson
The idea of a goal is a desired destination... so is living passionately. They are mutual if indeed they are yours and not someone elses.
Quite wonderful. This could be a life changer. Thank you so much. Nick
I actually combine having goals with doing what I feel like. Many people consider the goal setting process to be tyrannical the way you describe. Perhaps it's better said this way, I have big visions of what I want to create, and what I want my life to be like. And as much as possible I only ever do what I feel like. There is a sense of alignment in that - I am aligned with the flow of life. I have lists, but if I don't feel like doing something I put it on the bottom and eventually it falls off the list.
Now I should say that it took me years to get my work life to a place where I can actually get away with doing that - but it's also the secret of my success. I have two people working for me, part time, doing stuff I don't like but they do. I work for myself at home - not even my husband knows how little I work some days. (When I'm not working, I'm usually dreaming about my vision).
And sometimes I just have to haul myself by the butt and do things I don't wanna do but are necessary for my dreams.
And I have a huge amount of focus and discipline because I'm working on my dream, that helps.
[Hide Full Comment]Very Nice. Great Article. But it is difficult in routine life when you have so much responsibility on yourself, that you do only what you are passionate about. Anyway Thanks for a thought provoking article. :-) Cheers.