Errefusa zakarra da, nola zatitzen duzun. Baina bizitzako gertaera saihestezina ere bada, eta porrotari eta arbuioari aurre egiteko dugun gaitasunak zeresana du zein arrakasta eta zoriontsu garen zehazteko.
Zoriontasuna ez da depresioaren kontrakoa; erresilientzia da, Peter Kramer psikologoaren arabera . Pentsa gehien miresten dituzun pertsonetan: horietako asko ez ziren iritsi diren lekura bizitzan zehar nabigatuz, esperientzia negatiborik edo hutsegiterik gabe. Gehienek erortzen ziren bakoitzean berriro altxatzeko duten gaitasunagatik bereizten ziren, irmotasunaren botereari buruzko inspirazio-aipamen ugarietan islatzen den truismoa (Winston Churchillen hitzetan, "Kontua da jarraitzeko ausardia da").
Beraz, zertan bereizten dira pertsona erresistenteak porrot eta atzerapauso bakoitzarengatik paralizatzen direnengandik?
Hona hemen erresistentzia handiko pertsonen zazpi ohitura eta erronkei aurre egiteko zure gaitasuna hobetzeko moduak.
Emozio positiboak eta negatiboak erabat bizi dituzte.
Erresilientzia eraikitzea ez da baikortasun itsua. Alde distiratsuari soilik begiratu eta emozio negatiboak urruntzea baino, erresilienteek edozein egoeratan sentitzen dutena esperimentatzen uzten dute, ona edo txarra izan, Barbara Fredrickson Positivity egilearen arabera.
"Pertsona erresilientea ez da emozio negatiboak paperean jartzen, baizik eta beste sentimendu batzuekin alboan esertzen uzten dio", esan zuen Fredricksonek Experience Life-ri . "Beraz, aldi berean, 'triste nago horregatik' sentitzen dute, eta pentsatzeko joera dute, 'baina eskertzen dut hau'".
Errealistan baikorrak dira.
Taiwango Unibertsitate Nazionaleko azken ikerketa batek aurkitu zuen "baikortasun errealistako" jarrera hartzeak, baikorren ikuspegi positiboa eta ezkorren pentsamendu kritikoa uztartzen dituena, zoriontasuna eta erresilientzia areagotu ditzakeela.
"[Baikortasun errealistak] arazo edo erronka bati edo arazo bati aurre egiten dioten bakoitzean, ez dute esango 'ez daukat aukerarik eta hau da egin dezakedan gauza bakarra'", esan dio Sophia Chou ikertzaileak LiveScience-ri . "Sormenak izango dira, A plana, B plana eta C plana izango dituzte".
«Arbuioa baztertzen dute».
Errefusak gure autoestimua eta konfiantza kentzen ditu, geroko atzerakada edo porrot bakoitzarekin zailago erortzen gaituela esan zuen Elaine Dundonek, berrikuntza taldearen sortzaileak, gaiari buruzko TED Talk-ean , "Errefusak ere poza lapurtzen digu".
Baina arbuioa saihestezina da, eta horri eraginkortasunez aurre egitea ezinbestekoa da erresilientea izateko. HuffPost-eko Alex Pattakos blogariak dioen bezala, arbuioa arbuiatzea aukeratzeak berma dezake "ez zarela zure pentsamenduen preso bihurtu".
"Garrantzitsua da ulertzea denak beste 'espazio' batean daudela eta, kasu batzuetan, zer esan edo zer egiten duzun, beti baztertuko zaituztela zuri edo zure ideiak", dio Pattakosek , pentsamolde hori hartzeak errefusa pertsonalki ez hartzen laguntzen duela azalduz.
Laguntza sistema sendoak eraikitzen dituzte.
Gogor kolpatzen zaituztenean, garrantzitsua da berriro altxatzen laguntzeko baliabideak edukitzea, hau da, jendeari laguntzeko. 2007ko ikerketa batek ikusi zuen gizarte-laguntzak estresarekiko erresilientzia areagotu dezakeela.
Gauza txiki eta positiboak nabaritu (eta estimatzen dituzte).
Pertsona erresistenteak onak dira beren "positibitate ratioa" erabiltzen, Fredrickson-en arabera . Horrek esan nahi du poz eta garaipen txikiak nabaritu eta estimatzen dituztela, eta horrek ez du "dena" gaizki doala sentitzea. Bere ikerketek frogatu dute esperientzia positiboen eta negatiboen arteko hiru bat ratioa aproposa dela erresilientzia eraikitzeko eta zoriontasuna sustatzeko.
Hazteko eta ikasteko aukerak bilatzen dituzte.
Pertsona erresilienteek bere buruarekiko konfiantza eta erabakiak hartzeko trebetasunak bultzatzen dituzten hazkuntza-esperientziak bilatzen dituzte, eta horrek konfiantza ematen die porrotetik itzultzeko gaitasunean.
"Gaitasun sentsazioa areagotzen den heinean, gizabanakoak hobeto erantzuteko gai dira egoera ezezagun edo zailetan modu eraginkorrean erantzuteko eta porrot eta erronken aurrean irauten dute", idatzi dute Kathleen M. Sutcliffe eta Timothy J. Vogusek Organizing for Resilience-n.
Erresilientziaren artea menderatu dutenek badakite atzerapausoak eta erronkak izan daitezkeela gure ikasteko aukerarik indartsuenak. Mundukopertsona arrakastatsuenetako batzuk beren lanetik kaleratu dituzte, eta esperientziaz baliatu dira euren buruari buruz zerbait ikasteko.
"American Harper's Bazaar-en lan egin nuen... kaleratu ninduten",esan zuen behin Anna Wintour-ek . "Guztiak kaleratzea gomendatzen dizuet, ikasteko esperientzia bikaina da".
Amaigabe eskertzen dute.
Eskerrak osasuna eta ongizatea areagotzen dituela jakina da, eta eskertzen dutenek osasun fisiko eta aldarte hobeak izan ditzakete traba eta kexetan arreta jartzen dutenek baino.
"Eskertu egin nuen kaleratu nindutenean", azaldu zuen Sallie Krawcheckek, Wall Streeteko emakume exekutibo boteretsuenetako batek, The Huffington Post-en emakumeen konferentzian, "The Third Metric: Redefining Success Beyond Money and Power". "Esan nuen: 'Zenbat jende kaleratuko dute eta The Wall Street Journal-eko lehen orrialdean dago?'"
Krawcheck-ek dio eskerrak kaleratzeari aurre egiten lagundu ez ezik, bizitzako eguneroko estresak beren ikuspegi egokian mantentzen laguntzen duela.
"Nola pasatuko dut guztia?" esan zuen Krawcheckek. «Eskertzekoa betidanik».
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Agreed, this article is high in fluffy feel-good pap. It's the sort of thing that can be agreed to when a person is feeling pretty good, but if I were in the midst of a period of depression, I'd find most of this article useless, annoying and/or insulting.
Article has some good stuff, but misses some points:
1. Some "Depression" is a genetically-inherited (familial) brain imbalance issue. For that minority of people, telling them to Be Resilient is worse than useless, it's heartless.
2. Other "Depression" is the result of childhood "faulty programming" -- either neglect or abuse by people who should never, ever have been parents. Most people don't just "cheer up" and walk away from 18 or so years or horrendous "training." They need years of emotional AND spiritual work, to unravel the ways in which THEIR brains were (yes physically) mis-formed by worse than bad treatment. Even "normally" incompetent parenting (50%?) can do this to some extent. So, JUST "being resilient" for this larger minority is only ONE Of several necessary ingredients.
3. A third unnamed source of "Depression" is an actual, horrendous real-time loss (death of a beloved spouse, of a child, other Big Time loss). In this case the ONLY remedy for THAT kind of depression (which is actually GRIEF), is active, dive-right-in GRIEVING. For that I would offer: "suffering" (depression) is a passive refusal to face monumental loss, whereas "grieving" means continually hitting the pinata of one's grief with a loving stick.
It may be glib to notice a correlation between those who are "resilient" and/or have learned the profoundly powerful art of being Grateful -- and those who are not Depressed, but the three points above are sorely missing in the article -- but hopefully not in the professional repertoire of its psychologist-author.
[Hide Full Comment]You are a dipshit. Just because your resilient, doesnt mean that your not depressed.
Humans are very resilient & can survive with only water for up to 2 months,
according to a study that was performed on tv, by filling the stomach with bread.
Able to survive, within extreme conditions, however once the bodies core temperature reaches 40 degrees celcius, the body starts to shut down & organs begin to fail.
If we lose 2 litres of blood, the body dies but if a wound is able to be mended fast enough with enough bandages to stop the flow of blood & no vital organs are punctured, then there is a good chance for survival.
Some doctors refer to a persons recovery as a miracle because they generally
[Hide Full Comment]say that it is unknown to science, how a persons body was able to heal,
but it may be more closely related to not being aware of the extent of
the damage & the individuals reaction to medicane but it also bring
into question, cellular regeneration.
All of these things are a matter of resilience. It has nothing to do with depression however im
sure that an individual would be experiencing a greater extent of drepression because of it.
You are a dipshit. Just because your resilient, doesnt mean that your not depressed.
Humans
are very resilient & survive with only water for up to 2 months,
according to a study that was performed on tv, by filling the stomach
with bread.
Able to survive, within extreme conditions, however once the bodies core temperature reaches 40 degrees celcius, the body starts to shut down & organs begin to fail.
If we lose 2 litres of blood, the body dies but if a wound is able to be
mended fast enough with enough bandages to stop the flow of blood &
no vital organs are punctured, then there is a good chance for survival.
Some
[Hide Full Comment]doctors refer to a persons recovery as a miracle because they generally
say that it is unknown to science, how a persons body was able to heal,
but it may be more closely related to not being aware of the extent of
the damage & the individuals reaction to medicane but it also bring
into question, cellular regeneration.All of these things are a
matter of resilience. It has nothing to do with depression however im
sure that an individual would be experiencing a greater extent of
drepression because of it.
You are a dipshit. Just because your resilient, doesnt mean that your not depressed.
Humans
are very resilient & can survive with only water for up to 2 months,
according to a study that was performed on tv, by filling the stomach
with bread.
Able to survive, within extreme conditions, however once the bodies core temperature reaches 40 degrees celcius, the body starts to shut down & organs begin to fail.
If
we lose 2 litres of blood, the body dies but if a wound is able to be
mended fast enough with enough bandages to stop the flow of blood &
no vital organs are punctured, then there is a good chance for survival.
Some
[Hide Full Comment]doctors refer to a persons recovery as a miracle because they generally
say that it is unknown to science, how a persons body was able to heal,
but it may be more closely related to not being aware of the extent of
the damage & the individuals reaction to medicane but it also bring
into question, cellular regeneration.All of these things are a
matter of resilience. It has nothing to do with depression however im
sure that an individual would be experiencing a greater extent of
drepression because of it.
You are a dipshit. Just because your resilient, doesnt mean that your not depressed.
Humans are very resilient & survive with only water for up to 2 months, according to a study that was performed on tv, by filling the stomach with bread.
Able to survive, within extreme conditions, however once the bodies core temperature reaches 40 degrees celcius, the body starts to shut down & organs begin to fail.
If we lose 2 litres of blood, the body dies but if a wound is able to be mended fast enough with enough bandages to stop the flow of blood & no vital organs are punctured, then there is a good chance for survival.
[Hide Full Comment]Some doctors refer to a persons recovery as a miracle because they generally say that it is unknown to science, how a persons body was able to heal, but it may be more closely related to not being aware of the extent of the damage & the individuals reaction to medicane but it also bring into question, cellular regeneration.
All of these things are a matter of resilience. It has nothing to do with depression however im sure that an individual would be experiencing a greater extent of drepression because of it.
It's really inspiring!
Agreed! I liked the realistically optimist description! that's me to a "T" :) Gratitude and enjoying the little things goes a long long way in helping one remain resilient. thanks for another uplifting article! YOU keep Me resilient! HUG