Докато се промъквах през летището, спрях да купя вода. До хладилника на магазина се беше навел мъж и товареше бутилки. Протегнах се покрай него и извадих една, която беше сложил вътре. Той вдигна поглед, спря да работи, взе бутилка от друг рафт и ми я подаде, казвайки: „Тази е студена.“ Благодаря и взех тази, която ми предложи.
Той не ме познаваше и никога повече нямаше да ме види. Работата му беше да зарежда стоки, а не да обслужва клиенти. Беше зает и изглеждаше уморен. Но отдели време да забележи, че съм получила топла бутилка, и се загрижи достатъчно, за да промени посоката и да ми донесе студена. Пожела ми всичко най-добро.
Виждам приятелските му очи, докато пиша сега, седмица по-късно. Беше просто бутилка вода. Но се чувствам стоплена от неговата доброта и ободрявана от добрите му намерения.
Като разпознаваме позитивните намерения у другите, се чувстваме по-сигурни, по-подкрепени и по-щастливи. А когато другите усетят, че разбираме добрите им намерения, те се чувстват видени, оценени и по-склонни да се отнасят добре с нас.
Но може да е трудно да разпознаем добронамереността у другите. Ние сме заети, разсеяни и стресирани. Положителните цели често са заровени под негативното поведение. Вродената негативна склонност на мозъка непрекъснато сканира за лоши новини, лоши намерения. Мозъкът реагира и на новости, така че е склонен да игнорира многото положителни намерения, които проникват в по-голямата част от ежедневието, докато набляга на случайните отрицателни.
Така че трябва активно да търсите добри намерения. Тогава ще ги откриете навсякъде около себе си – прозорец към дълбоката доброта във всяко същество, независимо колко е скрита.
Как?
Отделете минутка, за да осъзнаете многото добри намерения – цели, задачи, желания – които имате в един типичен ден.
Добрите намерения не е нужно да са свети. Да искаш да се насладиш на чаша кафе, да закусиш добре, да заключиш вратата след себе си, да отидеш на работа навреме, да бъдеш съвестен, да се чувстваш в безопасност, да се грижиш за семейство, да бъдеш почтен човек, да избягваш неприятности, да нараняваш по-малко, да се наслаждаваш на нещо сладко, да не се караш, да доживееш до изгрева – всичко това са добри намерения.
Повечето добри намерения ще бъдат малки. Но те все пак имат значение. Само си представете какви бедствия биха настъпили, ако замените добрите си намерения с лоши! Разбира се, някои намерения не са толкова добри, като например желанието за доминиране, проявяването на пристрастяващи желания или изливането на негативни чувства върху другите. Но за почти всички по-голямата част от намеренията са добри. Нека това се превърне в чувство, силно усещане в тялото ви, че сте човек с добри намерения.
Когато говорите с приятел, бъдете наясно с неговите или нейните позитивни намерения. Какво е чувството да го видите? Опитвайте това редовно с хора, на които държите. Откривам, че това ми помага да разбирам другите по-добре, а също така отваря сърцето ми. Когато е уместно, кажете на другия човек какво сте научили; да чуете признание за добрите си намерения може да бъде силно преживяване.
Опитайте се да видите добри намерения в непознати, които вървят по улицата – или по летището. Ще видите много учтивости, усилия да си вършиш добре работата, желание да разбереш или да бъдеш разбран, лоялност към приятели и каузи, честна игра и доброта. Тази практика ме прави щастлив и ми дава по-силно чувство за нашата обща човечност.
Опитайте това и с хора, които са трудни за вас. Това не е, за да ги извините. Но виждането на добри намерения сред лошо поведение може, по ирония на съдбата, да ви помогне да се чувствате по-малко засегнати – по-малко стресирани, раздразнени или притеснени – от другите хора. Можете също така да помолите другите да разпознаят добрите намерения във вас.
Във всеки един от нас, включително и в този, който се оглежда в огледалото, се крие жарава на святост. Осъзнаването на добрите намерения разпалва тази жарава, добавя гориво към нея и ѝ помага да се разпали в топъл и красив пламък.
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This is a great article and it is true that so many things we do in a day, or automatically are just to look after ourselves/others and we are all filled with good intentions/
Rabbi Moses Cordovero: "Remember all human beings always in the innocence of their infancy."
nice
article (technically)..but I surely see also the danger as pointed out by the
reply of Bei Yin. To ad also a critical but appreciating comment. It's not
entirely about the article but about it's base/ foundation. actually the first
sentence,, .'let our intentions be good.' What is good? what is intention? what
is the action (of letting be)? We write about it if intention and good are two
separate things. If there is a commonsense or common-consensus of 'good' and
the values that this contains and that intention is a thing we let
happen. Maybe it’s just me, and that is certainly the case, but I see things
this way; If one doesn’t dissociate oneself
from his or her intention and trains oneself to walk in line with this
intention we won’t have to spend energy in forging ourselves on terms like good
or intention. We wouldn’t have to spend any energy in creating world images of
good behavior and their fruits. Instead we would just create, we do every
moment. And the fact that there are billions of people around just means you
are not alone, make use of that instead of convicting it.
Thank you, Rick
Hanson for the article, Grenville Kleisser for the quote, Bei Yin for drawing
my attention to it, ‘dailygood’ for placing and distributing it on internet,
internet for the world wide context, and the world for creating this medium….special
thanks to creation (the action and the result….)
Just one
[Hide Full Comment]thing: If my intention is commonsense than what is it that makes it ‘my’
intention? If my intention is not commonsense than what is it that makes it ‘my’
intention?
Napoleon Hill wrote about how the tipping point of economic failure to economic recovery post great depression was based on the shift from a sense of service. Much like the man who handed you the cold bottle of water. It's that subtle a difference in giving consciousness that can change the world. Great post!
--- "It can be hard to recognize the goodwill in others. We’re busy and distracted and stressed. Positive aims are often buried beneath negative behaviors. The brain’s innate negativity bias is continually scanning for bad news, bad intentions. The brain also reacts to novelty, so it tends to ignore the many positive intentions that pervade most daily life while spotlighting the occasional negative ones."
[Hide Full Comment](Quote from Rick Hanson's article)
--- My comment: The obvious fact is, that we are all manipulated and programmed from a society that has its base on a materialistic world view. This was upgraded during centuries with religious and spiritual beliefs and confirmed in our times by intellectual scientific views and concepts. Lifestyle or behavior of people hardly have changed to a better one, in contrary: the ways and tricks to survive with ones established personality are developing with the same speed as the level of stress is rising up, with the result of disease and destruction on all levels of existence. It's easy to understand, that out of our misery and suffering, we are looking for a new way to survive...
--- Now you have the 'good intention' to manipulate the brain by 'seeing the good intention in others!' Do you really think that you can cover up the daily reality every body is facing, by using a 'positive scam' on oneself? Do you think this will change anything about the *cause*?
Wouldn't it be a better intention to find out about the real reason why we are not finding real satisfaction in our existence? Using another trick can't be a creative way to help in our growing process!
--- Since nearly forty years my (good) intention is to point to a way to go beyond ones limited view, but part of the condition of people is, that they cling on their state of being and only want to be confirmed in it, so not being open for any thing else. It seems that people must suffer much more, before they ask some critical questions about not only their surrounding, but also about themselves. At the moment all questions are answered by the established mindset from society, anything else is ignored and rejected. As long this behavior is not questioned, there is no way out. So what might be your *question*? That for sure I will answer, with the 'good intention' to have an exchange from that every body around can benefit...
--- What I have written here comes out of my 'best intention' to share what is the result from my life long experience and has helped me to grow beyond my limited personality, freeing myself in a creative and healthy way... Realizing something for myself, that can't be described by words, - only can be *lived* and so expressed through my *energy*! Then, when expressed in this writing, can easily be misunderstood, as it depends totally on the interpretation from the readers mindset. - But at least it might trigger some thoughts that are not just influenced by ones need for confirmation...
--- Or is this too much and so unwanted by the moderator?
--- "It can be hard to recognize the goodwill in others. We’re busy and distracted and stressed. Positive aims are often buried beneath negative behaviors. The brain’s innate negativity bias is
[Hide Full Comment]continually scanning for bad news, bad intentions. The brain also reacts to novelty, so it tends to ignore the many positive intentions that pervade most daily life while spotlighting the occasional negative ones." (Quote from Rick Hanson's article)
--- My comment: The obvious fact is, that we are all manipulated and programmed from a
society that has its base on a materialistic world view. This was upgraded during centuries with religious and spiritual beliefs and confirmed in our times by intellectual scientific views and concepts. Lifestyle or behavior of people hardly have changed to a better one, in contrary: the ways and tricks to survive with ones established personality are developing with the same speed as the level of stress is rising up, with the result of disease and destruction on all levels of existence. It's easy to understand, that out of our misery and suffering, we are looking for a new way to survive...
--- Now you have the 'good intention' to manipulate the brain by 'seeing the good intention in others!' Do you really think that you can cover up the daily reality every body is facing, by using a 'positive scam' on oneself? Do you think this will change anything about the *cause*?
Wouldn't it be a better intention to find out about the real reason why we are not finding real satisfaction in our existence? Using another trick can't be a creative way to help in our growing process!
--- Since nearly forty years my (good) intention is to point to a way to go beyond ones limited view, but part of the condition of people is, that they cling on their state of being and only want to be confirmed in it, so not being open for any thing else. It seems that people must suffer much more, before they ask some critical questions about not only their surrounding, but also about themselves. At the moment all questions are answered by the established mindset from society, anything else is ignored and rejected. As long this behavior is not questioned, there is no way out. So what might be your *question*? That for sure I will answer, with the 'good intention' to have an exchange from that every body around can benefit...
--- What I have written here comes out of my 'best intention' to share what is the result from my life long experience and has helped me to grow beyond my limited personality, freeing myself in a creative and healthy way... Realizing something for myself, that can't be described by words, - only can be *lived* and so expressed through my *energy*! Then, when expressed in this writing, can easily be misunderstood, as it depends totally on the interpretation from the readers mindset.
Thanks for the article!
Love this! Thank you.
So true, we see what we focus upon! thank you for the reminder.
The following sentence really made me think. "Just imagine the disasters if you replaced your good intentions with bad ones!" Thank you!