En mi ajetreada travesía por el aeropuerto, me detuve a comprar agua. Junto al refrigerador de la tienda, un hombre estaba inclinado, llenando botellas. Me estiré por encima de él y tomé una que había puesto. Levantó la vista, dejó de trabajar, tomó una botella de otro estante y me la ofreció, diciendo: «Esta está fría». Le di las gracias y tomé la que me ofreció.
No me conocía y probablemente no me volvería a ver. Su trabajo era reponer mercancía, no atender al cliente. Estaba ocupado y parecía cansado. Pero se tomó la molestia de darse cuenta de que había cogido una botella caliente y tuvo la amabilidad de cambiar de trabajo y traerme una fría. Me deseó lo mejor.
Aún puedo ver su mirada amable mientras escribo esto, una semana después. Solo era una botella de agua. Pero me conmovió su amabilidad y me animaron sus buenas intenciones.
Al reconocer las buenas intenciones de los demás, nos sentimos más seguros, apoyados y felices. Y cuando los demás sienten que comprendemos sus buenas intenciones, se sienten vistos, apreciados y más dispuestos a tratarnos bien.
Pero puede ser difícil reconocer la buena voluntad en los demás. Estamos ocupados, distraídos y estresados. Los objetivos positivos a menudo quedan sepultados bajo comportamientos negativos. La tendencia innata del cerebro a la negatividad busca constantemente malas noticias y malas intenciones. El cerebro también reacciona ante la novedad, por lo que tiende a ignorar las numerosas intenciones positivas que impregnan la mayor parte de la vida cotidiana, mientras que destaca las negativas ocasionales.
Así que debes buscar activamente las buenas intenciones. Entonces las encontrarás a tu alrededor: una ventana a la profunda bondad que reside en cada ser, por muy oculta que esté.
¿Cómo?
Tómate un minuto para reconocer las muchas buenas intenciones —objetivos, propósitos, deseos— que tienes en un día normal.
Las buenas intenciones no tienen por qué ser santas. Querer disfrutar de una taza de café, desayunar bien, cerrar la puerta con llave, llegar al trabajo a tiempo, ser responsable, sentirse seguro, cuidar de la familia, ser una buena persona, evitar problemas, hacer menos daño, disfrutar de algo dulce, no discutir, vivir para ver el amanecer: todas estas son buenas intenciones.
La mayoría de las buenas intenciones son pequeñas, pero aun así importan. ¡Imagínate el desastre si las reemplazaras por malas! Claro, algunas intenciones no son buenas, como el deseo de dominar, dar rienda suelta a antojos adictivos o descargar sentimientos negativos en los demás. Pero para casi todos, la gran mayoría de las intenciones son buenas. Deja que se convierta en una sensación, una fuerte percepción, la certeza de que eres alguien con buenas intenciones.
Al hablar con un amigo, presta atención a sus buenas intenciones. ¿Qué sientes al percibirlas? Haz esto con frecuencia con las personas que te importan. A mí me ayuda a comprender mejor a los demás y, además, me hace sentir más a gusto. Si es apropiado, comparte con la otra persona lo que has aprendido; escuchar que alguien reconoce sus buenas intenciones puede ser una experiencia muy gratificante.
Intenta observar las buenas intenciones de los desconocidos que caminan por la calle, o por un aeropuerto. Verás mucha cortesía, esfuerzo por hacer bien su trabajo, deseo de comprender o ser comprendido, lealtad a amigos y causas, juego limpio y amabilidad. Esta práctica me hace feliz y me da una mayor sensación de nuestra humanidad compartida.
Prueba esto también con las personas que te resultan difíciles. Esto no significa justificarlas. Pero, paradójicamente, ver buenas intenciones entre malos comportamientos puede ayudarte a sentirte menos afectado —menos estresado, irritado o preocupado— por los demás. También podrías pedirles a los demás que reconozcan tus buenas intenciones.
En cada uno de nosotros reside una chispa de bondad, incluso en quien nos mira al espejo. Reconocer las buenas intenciones aviva esa chispa, la alimenta y la ayuda a convertirse en una llama cálida y hermosa.
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This is a great article and it is true that so many things we do in a day, or automatically are just to look after ourselves/others and we are all filled with good intentions/
Rabbi Moses Cordovero: "Remember all human beings always in the innocence of their infancy."
nice
article (technically)..but I surely see also the danger as pointed out by the
reply of Bei Yin. To ad also a critical but appreciating comment. It's not
entirely about the article but about it's base/ foundation. actually the first
sentence,, .'let our intentions be good.' What is good? what is intention? what
is the action (of letting be)? We write about it if intention and good are two
separate things. If there is a commonsense or common-consensus of 'good' and
the values that this contains and that intention is a thing we let
happen. Maybe it’s just me, and that is certainly the case, but I see things
this way; If one doesn’t dissociate oneself
from his or her intention and trains oneself to walk in line with this
intention we won’t have to spend energy in forging ourselves on terms like good
or intention. We wouldn’t have to spend any energy in creating world images of
good behavior and their fruits. Instead we would just create, we do every
moment. And the fact that there are billions of people around just means you
are not alone, make use of that instead of convicting it.
Thank you, Rick
Hanson for the article, Grenville Kleisser for the quote, Bei Yin for drawing
my attention to it, ‘dailygood’ for placing and distributing it on internet,
internet for the world wide context, and the world for creating this medium….special
thanks to creation (the action and the result….)
Just one
[Hide Full Comment]thing: If my intention is commonsense than what is it that makes it ‘my’
intention? If my intention is not commonsense than what is it that makes it ‘my’
intention?
Napoleon Hill wrote about how the tipping point of economic failure to economic recovery post great depression was based on the shift from a sense of service. Much like the man who handed you the cold bottle of water. It's that subtle a difference in giving consciousness that can change the world. Great post!
--- "It can be hard to recognize the goodwill in others. We’re busy and distracted and stressed. Positive aims are often buried beneath negative behaviors. The brain’s innate negativity bias is continually scanning for bad news, bad intentions. The brain also reacts to novelty, so it tends to ignore the many positive intentions that pervade most daily life while spotlighting the occasional negative ones."
[Hide Full Comment](Quote from Rick Hanson's article)
--- My comment: The obvious fact is, that we are all manipulated and programmed from a society that has its base on a materialistic world view. This was upgraded during centuries with religious and spiritual beliefs and confirmed in our times by intellectual scientific views and concepts. Lifestyle or behavior of people hardly have changed to a better one, in contrary: the ways and tricks to survive with ones established personality are developing with the same speed as the level of stress is rising up, with the result of disease and destruction on all levels of existence. It's easy to understand, that out of our misery and suffering, we are looking for a new way to survive...
--- Now you have the 'good intention' to manipulate the brain by 'seeing the good intention in others!' Do you really think that you can cover up the daily reality every body is facing, by using a 'positive scam' on oneself? Do you think this will change anything about the *cause*?
Wouldn't it be a better intention to find out about the real reason why we are not finding real satisfaction in our existence? Using another trick can't be a creative way to help in our growing process!
--- Since nearly forty years my (good) intention is to point to a way to go beyond ones limited view, but part of the condition of people is, that they cling on their state of being and only want to be confirmed in it, so not being open for any thing else. It seems that people must suffer much more, before they ask some critical questions about not only their surrounding, but also about themselves. At the moment all questions are answered by the established mindset from society, anything else is ignored and rejected. As long this behavior is not questioned, there is no way out. So what might be your *question*? That for sure I will answer, with the 'good intention' to have an exchange from that every body around can benefit...
--- What I have written here comes out of my 'best intention' to share what is the result from my life long experience and has helped me to grow beyond my limited personality, freeing myself in a creative and healthy way... Realizing something for myself, that can't be described by words, - only can be *lived* and so expressed through my *energy*! Then, when expressed in this writing, can easily be misunderstood, as it depends totally on the interpretation from the readers mindset. - But at least it might trigger some thoughts that are not just influenced by ones need for confirmation...
--- Or is this too much and so unwanted by the moderator?
--- "It can be hard to recognize the goodwill in others. We’re busy and distracted and stressed. Positive aims are often buried beneath negative behaviors. The brain’s innate negativity bias is
[Hide Full Comment]continually scanning for bad news, bad intentions. The brain also reacts to novelty, so it tends to ignore the many positive intentions that pervade most daily life while spotlighting the occasional negative ones." (Quote from Rick Hanson's article)
--- My comment: The obvious fact is, that we are all manipulated and programmed from a
society that has its base on a materialistic world view. This was upgraded during centuries with religious and spiritual beliefs and confirmed in our times by intellectual scientific views and concepts. Lifestyle or behavior of people hardly have changed to a better one, in contrary: the ways and tricks to survive with ones established personality are developing with the same speed as the level of stress is rising up, with the result of disease and destruction on all levels of existence. It's easy to understand, that out of our misery and suffering, we are looking for a new way to survive...
--- Now you have the 'good intention' to manipulate the brain by 'seeing the good intention in others!' Do you really think that you can cover up the daily reality every body is facing, by using a 'positive scam' on oneself? Do you think this will change anything about the *cause*?
Wouldn't it be a better intention to find out about the real reason why we are not finding real satisfaction in our existence? Using another trick can't be a creative way to help in our growing process!
--- Since nearly forty years my (good) intention is to point to a way to go beyond ones limited view, but part of the condition of people is, that they cling on their state of being and only want to be confirmed in it, so not being open for any thing else. It seems that people must suffer much more, before they ask some critical questions about not only their surrounding, but also about themselves. At the moment all questions are answered by the established mindset from society, anything else is ignored and rejected. As long this behavior is not questioned, there is no way out. So what might be your *question*? That for sure I will answer, with the 'good intention' to have an exchange from that every body around can benefit...
--- What I have written here comes out of my 'best intention' to share what is the result from my life long experience and has helped me to grow beyond my limited personality, freeing myself in a creative and healthy way... Realizing something for myself, that can't be described by words, - only can be *lived* and so expressed through my *energy*! Then, when expressed in this writing, can easily be misunderstood, as it depends totally on the interpretation from the readers mindset.
Thanks for the article!
Love this! Thank you.
So true, we see what we focus upon! thank you for the reminder.
The following sentence really made me think. "Just imagine the disasters if you replaced your good intentions with bad ones!" Thank you!