Mentre attraversavo di corsa un aeroporto, mi fermai a comprare dell'acqua. Davanti al frigorifero del negozio, un uomo era chino e stava caricando delle bottiglie. Mi allungai oltre di lui e ne presi una che aveva messo dentro. Alzò lo sguardo, smise di lavorare, prese una bottiglia da un altro scaffale e me la porse, dicendo: "Questa è fredda". Lo ringraziai e presi quella che mi aveva offerto.
Non mi conosceva e non mi avrebbe mai più rivisto. Il suo lavoro era fare la scorta, non il servizio clienti. Era impegnato e sembrava stanco. Ma si è preso il tempo di notare che avevo ricevuto una borsa calda, e si è preoccupato abbastanza da cambiare marcia e prendermene una fredda. Mi ha augurato ogni bene.
Riesco a vedere i suoi occhi amichevoli mentre scrivo ora, una settimana dopo. Era solo una bottiglia d'acqua. Ma mi sento scaldata dalla sua gentilezza e incoraggiata dalle sue buone intenzioni.
Riconoscendo le intenzioni positive degli altri, ci sentiamo più sicuri, più sostenuti e più felici. E quando gli altri sentono che capisci le loro buone intenzioni, si sentono considerati, apprezzati e più propensi a trattarti bene.
Ma può essere difficile riconoscere la buona volontà negli altri. Siamo impegnati, distratti e stressati. Gli obiettivi positivi sono spesso nascosti sotto comportamenti negativi. L'innata tendenza del cervello alla negatività è costantemente alla ricerca di cattive notizie e cattive intenzioni. Il cervello reagisce anche alle novità, quindi tende a ignorare le numerose intenzioni positive che pervadono la maggior parte della vita quotidiana, evidenziando invece quelle negative occasionali.
Quindi devi cercare attivamente le buone intenzioni. Poi le troverai ovunque intorno a te: una finestra sulla profonda bontà di ogni essere, non importa quanto oscurata.
Come?
Prenditi un minuto per riconoscere le tante buone intenzioni (obiettivi, scopi, desideri) che hai in una giornata tipo.
Le buone intenzioni non devono essere necessariamente sante. Voler gustare una tazza di caffè, fare una colazione decente, chiudere la porta a chiave, arrivare al lavoro in orario, essere coscienziosi, sentirsi al sicuro, prendersi cura di una famiglia, essere una persona perbene, evitare guai, soffrire meno, godersi qualcosa di dolce, non litigare, vivere fino a vedere l'alba: queste sono tutte buone intenzioni.
La maggior parte delle buone intenzioni saranno piccole. Ma sono comunque importanti. Immagina i disastri se sostituissi le tue buone intenzioni con quelle cattive! Certo, alcune intenzioni non sono così buone, come il desiderio di dominare, mettere in atto desideri che creano dipendenza o scaricare sentimenti negativi sugli altri. Ma per quasi tutti, la stragrande maggioranza delle intenzioni sono buone. Lascia che diventi una sensazione, una forte sensazione nel tuo corpo, che sei una persona con buone intenzioni.
Parlando con un amico, sii consapevole delle sue intenzioni positive. Che sensazione provi nel vederlo? Prova a farlo regolarmente con le persone a cui tieni. Trovo che farlo mi aiuti a capire meglio gli altri e mi apra il cuore. Se necessario, racconta all'altra persona cosa hai imparato; sentire il riconoscimento delle proprie buone intenzioni può essere un'esperienza potente.
Provate a vedere le buone intenzioni negli sconosciuti che camminano per strada, o in un aeroporto. Vedrete molta cortesia, impegno nel fare un buon lavoro, desiderio di comprendere o essere compresi, lealtà verso amici e cause, correttezza e gentilezza. Questa pratica mi rende felice e mi dà un senso più forte della nostra comune umanità.
Provate a fare lo stesso anche con le persone che vi risultano difficili. Non lo faccio per giustificarle. Ma vedere buone intenzioni in mezzo a comportamenti sbagliati può, ironicamente, aiutarvi a sentirvi meno influenzati – meno stressati, irritati o preoccupati – dagli altri. Potreste anche chiedere agli altri di riconoscere le vostre buone intenzioni.
C'è una brace di santità in ognuno di noi, anche in chi si guarda allo specchio. Riconoscere le buone intenzioni soffia su quella brace, la alimenta e la aiuta a crescere in una fiamma calda e meravigliosa.
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This is a great article and it is true that so many things we do in a day, or automatically are just to look after ourselves/others and we are all filled with good intentions/
Rabbi Moses Cordovero: "Remember all human beings always in the innocence of their infancy."
nice
article (technically)..but I surely see also the danger as pointed out by the
reply of Bei Yin. To ad also a critical but appreciating comment. It's not
entirely about the article but about it's base/ foundation. actually the first
sentence,, .'let our intentions be good.' What is good? what is intention? what
is the action (of letting be)? We write about it if intention and good are two
separate things. If there is a commonsense or common-consensus of 'good' and
the values that this contains and that intention is a thing we let
happen. Maybe it’s just me, and that is certainly the case, but I see things
this way; If one doesn’t dissociate oneself
from his or her intention and trains oneself to walk in line with this
intention we won’t have to spend energy in forging ourselves on terms like good
or intention. We wouldn’t have to spend any energy in creating world images of
good behavior and their fruits. Instead we would just create, we do every
moment. And the fact that there are billions of people around just means you
are not alone, make use of that instead of convicting it.
Thank you, Rick
Hanson for the article, Grenville Kleisser for the quote, Bei Yin for drawing
my attention to it, ‘dailygood’ for placing and distributing it on internet,
internet for the world wide context, and the world for creating this medium….special
thanks to creation (the action and the result….)
Just one
[Hide Full Comment]thing: If my intention is commonsense than what is it that makes it ‘my’
intention? If my intention is not commonsense than what is it that makes it ‘my’
intention?
Napoleon Hill wrote about how the tipping point of economic failure to economic recovery post great depression was based on the shift from a sense of service. Much like the man who handed you the cold bottle of water. It's that subtle a difference in giving consciousness that can change the world. Great post!
--- "It can be hard to recognize the goodwill in others. We’re busy and distracted and stressed. Positive aims are often buried beneath negative behaviors. The brain’s innate negativity bias is continually scanning for bad news, bad intentions. The brain also reacts to novelty, so it tends to ignore the many positive intentions that pervade most daily life while spotlighting the occasional negative ones."
[Hide Full Comment](Quote from Rick Hanson's article)
--- My comment: The obvious fact is, that we are all manipulated and programmed from a society that has its base on a materialistic world view. This was upgraded during centuries with religious and spiritual beliefs and confirmed in our times by intellectual scientific views and concepts. Lifestyle or behavior of people hardly have changed to a better one, in contrary: the ways and tricks to survive with ones established personality are developing with the same speed as the level of stress is rising up, with the result of disease and destruction on all levels of existence. It's easy to understand, that out of our misery and suffering, we are looking for a new way to survive...
--- Now you have the 'good intention' to manipulate the brain by 'seeing the good intention in others!' Do you really think that you can cover up the daily reality every body is facing, by using a 'positive scam' on oneself? Do you think this will change anything about the *cause*?
Wouldn't it be a better intention to find out about the real reason why we are not finding real satisfaction in our existence? Using another trick can't be a creative way to help in our growing process!
--- Since nearly forty years my (good) intention is to point to a way to go beyond ones limited view, but part of the condition of people is, that they cling on their state of being and only want to be confirmed in it, so not being open for any thing else. It seems that people must suffer much more, before they ask some critical questions about not only their surrounding, but also about themselves. At the moment all questions are answered by the established mindset from society, anything else is ignored and rejected. As long this behavior is not questioned, there is no way out. So what might be your *question*? That for sure I will answer, with the 'good intention' to have an exchange from that every body around can benefit...
--- What I have written here comes out of my 'best intention' to share what is the result from my life long experience and has helped me to grow beyond my limited personality, freeing myself in a creative and healthy way... Realizing something for myself, that can't be described by words, - only can be *lived* and so expressed through my *energy*! Then, when expressed in this writing, can easily be misunderstood, as it depends totally on the interpretation from the readers mindset. - But at least it might trigger some thoughts that are not just influenced by ones need for confirmation...
--- Or is this too much and so unwanted by the moderator?
--- "It can be hard to recognize the goodwill in others. We’re busy and distracted and stressed. Positive aims are often buried beneath negative behaviors. The brain’s innate negativity bias is
[Hide Full Comment]continually scanning for bad news, bad intentions. The brain also reacts to novelty, so it tends to ignore the many positive intentions that pervade most daily life while spotlighting the occasional negative ones." (Quote from Rick Hanson's article)
--- My comment: The obvious fact is, that we are all manipulated and programmed from a
society that has its base on a materialistic world view. This was upgraded during centuries with religious and spiritual beliefs and confirmed in our times by intellectual scientific views and concepts. Lifestyle or behavior of people hardly have changed to a better one, in contrary: the ways and tricks to survive with ones established personality are developing with the same speed as the level of stress is rising up, with the result of disease and destruction on all levels of existence. It's easy to understand, that out of our misery and suffering, we are looking for a new way to survive...
--- Now you have the 'good intention' to manipulate the brain by 'seeing the good intention in others!' Do you really think that you can cover up the daily reality every body is facing, by using a 'positive scam' on oneself? Do you think this will change anything about the *cause*?
Wouldn't it be a better intention to find out about the real reason why we are not finding real satisfaction in our existence? Using another trick can't be a creative way to help in our growing process!
--- Since nearly forty years my (good) intention is to point to a way to go beyond ones limited view, but part of the condition of people is, that they cling on their state of being and only want to be confirmed in it, so not being open for any thing else. It seems that people must suffer much more, before they ask some critical questions about not only their surrounding, but also about themselves. At the moment all questions are answered by the established mindset from society, anything else is ignored and rejected. As long this behavior is not questioned, there is no way out. So what might be your *question*? That for sure I will answer, with the 'good intention' to have an exchange from that every body around can benefit...
--- What I have written here comes out of my 'best intention' to share what is the result from my life long experience and has helped me to grow beyond my limited personality, freeing myself in a creative and healthy way... Realizing something for myself, that can't be described by words, - only can be *lived* and so expressed through my *energy*! Then, when expressed in this writing, can easily be misunderstood, as it depends totally on the interpretation from the readers mindset.
Thanks for the article!
Love this! Thank you.
So true, we see what we focus upon! thank you for the reminder.
The following sentence really made me think. "Just imagine the disasters if you replaced your good intentions with bad ones!" Thank you!