空港を急いで通り抜け、水を買うために立ち寄った。店の冷蔵庫の前で、男の人がかがんでボトルを詰め込んでいた。私は手を伸ばして、彼が詰め込んだボトルを1本取り出した。男は顔を上げて、作業を止め、別の棚からボトルを1本取り出し、「これ、冷えてるよ」と私に差し出した。私は礼を言って、差し出されたボトルを受け取った。
彼は私のことを知らなかったし、二度と会うこともなかった。彼の仕事は接客ではなく、品出しだった。忙しくて疲れているように見えた。それでも、私が温かいボトルを受け取ったことに気づいて、わざわざスイッチを入れ、冷たいボトルを持ってきてくれた。そして、私の幸せを祈ってくれた。
1週間経った今、こうしてこれを書いていると、彼の優しい目が目に浮かびます。ただのボトル入りの水でした。でも、彼の優しさに心が温まり、善意に励まされました。
他人のポジティブな意図に気づくと、私たちはより安心し、支えられ、幸せを感じます。そして、相手があなたの善意を理解してくれたと感じれば、彼らは理解され、感謝されていると感じ、あなたに優しく接してくれるようになります。
しかし、他人の善意に気づくのは難しい場合があります。私たちは忙しく、気が散り、ストレスを感じています。ポジティブな目標は、ネガティブな行動の裏に埋もれてしまうことがよくあります。脳には生まれながらに備わっているネガティブバイアスがあり、常に悪い知らせや悪い意図を探し求めています。また、脳は目新しいものに反応するため、日常生活に溢れている多くのポジティブな意図を無視し、時折現れるネガティブな意図に目が行きがちです。
ですから、積極的に善意を探さなければなりません。そうすれば、あなたの周りにある善意を見つけることができます。それは、どんなに見えにくいものであっても、あらゆる存在の奥深い善意を垣間見ることができる窓なのです。
どうやって?
一日の中であなたが抱いている多くの善意(目標、目的、願望)を認識するために少し時間を取ってください。
善意は必ずしも聖人ぶったものである必要はありません。一杯のコーヒーを楽しみたい、きちんとした朝食を食べたい、ドアに鍵をかけたい、時間通りに仕事に行きたい、誠実でありたい、安全を感じたい、家族を大切にしたい、まともな人間になりたい、トラブルを避けたい、少しでも傷つきたくない、甘いものを楽しみたい、喧嘩したくない、日の出まで生きて帰りたい、これらはすべて善意です。
善意のほとんどは小さなものです。しかし、それでも大切なものです。もし善意を悪い意図に置き換えてしまったら、どんな災難が起こるか想像してみてください!確かに、支配欲、中毒的な欲求の実現、他人へのネガティブな感情のぶつけ合いなど、あまり良くない意図もあります。しかし、ほとんどの人にとって、大多数の意図は良いものです。自分が善意の持ち主であるという感覚、つまり体で感じる強い感覚にしましょう。
友達と話すときは、相手の前向きな意図に意識を向けてみましょう。相手に会うとどんな気持ちになるでしょうか?大切な人と、この方法を普段から試してみてください。私は、こうすることで相手のことをより深く理解し、心を開くことができると感じています。必要に応じて、学んだことを相手に伝えましょう。相手の善意が認められることは、大きな喜びとなることがあります。
通りを歩いている人、あるいは空港にいる人の中に、善意を見出そうとしてみてください。たくさんの礼儀正しさ、良い仕事をしようとする努力、理解したい、あるいは理解されたいという気持ち、友人や大義への忠誠心、フェアプレー、そして親切さが見られるでしょう。こうした行動は私を幸せにし、私たちが共有する人間性をより強く感じさせてくれます。
あなたにとって扱いにくい人にも、同じように接してみてください。彼らを許すわけではありません。しかし、悪い行動の中にも善意を見出すことで、皮肉なことに、他人の影響、つまりストレスやイライラ、不安を軽減できるかもしれません。また、周りの人にあなたの善意に気づいてもらうように頼んでみるのも良いでしょう。
私たち一人ひとりの中に、聖なる炎が宿っています。鏡に映る自分も例外ではありません。善意を認めることで、その炎は燃え上がり、燃料が補給され、温かく美しい炎へと成長していくのです。
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This is a great article and it is true that so many things we do in a day, or automatically are just to look after ourselves/others and we are all filled with good intentions/
Rabbi Moses Cordovero: "Remember all human beings always in the innocence of their infancy."
nice
article (technically)..but I surely see also the danger as pointed out by the
reply of Bei Yin. To ad also a critical but appreciating comment. It's not
entirely about the article but about it's base/ foundation. actually the first
sentence,, .'let our intentions be good.' What is good? what is intention? what
is the action (of letting be)? We write about it if intention and good are two
separate things. If there is a commonsense or common-consensus of 'good' and
the values that this contains and that intention is a thing we let
happen. Maybe it’s just me, and that is certainly the case, but I see things
this way; If one doesn’t dissociate oneself
from his or her intention and trains oneself to walk in line with this
intention we won’t have to spend energy in forging ourselves on terms like good
or intention. We wouldn’t have to spend any energy in creating world images of
good behavior and their fruits. Instead we would just create, we do every
moment. And the fact that there are billions of people around just means you
are not alone, make use of that instead of convicting it.
Thank you, Rick
Hanson for the article, Grenville Kleisser for the quote, Bei Yin for drawing
my attention to it, ‘dailygood’ for placing and distributing it on internet,
internet for the world wide context, and the world for creating this medium….special
thanks to creation (the action and the result….)
Just one
[Hide Full Comment]thing: If my intention is commonsense than what is it that makes it ‘my’
intention? If my intention is not commonsense than what is it that makes it ‘my’
intention?
Napoleon Hill wrote about how the tipping point of economic failure to economic recovery post great depression was based on the shift from a sense of service. Much like the man who handed you the cold bottle of water. It's that subtle a difference in giving consciousness that can change the world. Great post!
--- "It can be hard to recognize the goodwill in others. We’re busy and distracted and stressed. Positive aims are often buried beneath negative behaviors. The brain’s innate negativity bias is continually scanning for bad news, bad intentions. The brain also reacts to novelty, so it tends to ignore the many positive intentions that pervade most daily life while spotlighting the occasional negative ones."
[Hide Full Comment](Quote from Rick Hanson's article)
--- My comment: The obvious fact is, that we are all manipulated and programmed from a society that has its base on a materialistic world view. This was upgraded during centuries with religious and spiritual beliefs and confirmed in our times by intellectual scientific views and concepts. Lifestyle or behavior of people hardly have changed to a better one, in contrary: the ways and tricks to survive with ones established personality are developing with the same speed as the level of stress is rising up, with the result of disease and destruction on all levels of existence. It's easy to understand, that out of our misery and suffering, we are looking for a new way to survive...
--- Now you have the 'good intention' to manipulate the brain by 'seeing the good intention in others!' Do you really think that you can cover up the daily reality every body is facing, by using a 'positive scam' on oneself? Do you think this will change anything about the *cause*?
Wouldn't it be a better intention to find out about the real reason why we are not finding real satisfaction in our existence? Using another trick can't be a creative way to help in our growing process!
--- Since nearly forty years my (good) intention is to point to a way to go beyond ones limited view, but part of the condition of people is, that they cling on their state of being and only want to be confirmed in it, so not being open for any thing else. It seems that people must suffer much more, before they ask some critical questions about not only their surrounding, but also about themselves. At the moment all questions are answered by the established mindset from society, anything else is ignored and rejected. As long this behavior is not questioned, there is no way out. So what might be your *question*? That for sure I will answer, with the 'good intention' to have an exchange from that every body around can benefit...
--- What I have written here comes out of my 'best intention' to share what is the result from my life long experience and has helped me to grow beyond my limited personality, freeing myself in a creative and healthy way... Realizing something for myself, that can't be described by words, - only can be *lived* and so expressed through my *energy*! Then, when expressed in this writing, can easily be misunderstood, as it depends totally on the interpretation from the readers mindset. - But at least it might trigger some thoughts that are not just influenced by ones need for confirmation...
--- Or is this too much and so unwanted by the moderator?
--- "It can be hard to recognize the goodwill in others. We’re busy and distracted and stressed. Positive aims are often buried beneath negative behaviors. The brain’s innate negativity bias is
[Hide Full Comment]continually scanning for bad news, bad intentions. The brain also reacts to novelty, so it tends to ignore the many positive intentions that pervade most daily life while spotlighting the occasional negative ones." (Quote from Rick Hanson's article)
--- My comment: The obvious fact is, that we are all manipulated and programmed from a
society that has its base on a materialistic world view. This was upgraded during centuries with religious and spiritual beliefs and confirmed in our times by intellectual scientific views and concepts. Lifestyle or behavior of people hardly have changed to a better one, in contrary: the ways and tricks to survive with ones established personality are developing with the same speed as the level of stress is rising up, with the result of disease and destruction on all levels of existence. It's easy to understand, that out of our misery and suffering, we are looking for a new way to survive...
--- Now you have the 'good intention' to manipulate the brain by 'seeing the good intention in others!' Do you really think that you can cover up the daily reality every body is facing, by using a 'positive scam' on oneself? Do you think this will change anything about the *cause*?
Wouldn't it be a better intention to find out about the real reason why we are not finding real satisfaction in our existence? Using another trick can't be a creative way to help in our growing process!
--- Since nearly forty years my (good) intention is to point to a way to go beyond ones limited view, but part of the condition of people is, that they cling on their state of being and only want to be confirmed in it, so not being open for any thing else. It seems that people must suffer much more, before they ask some critical questions about not only their surrounding, but also about themselves. At the moment all questions are answered by the established mindset from society, anything else is ignored and rejected. As long this behavior is not questioned, there is no way out. So what might be your *question*? That for sure I will answer, with the 'good intention' to have an exchange from that every body around can benefit...
--- What I have written here comes out of my 'best intention' to share what is the result from my life long experience and has helped me to grow beyond my limited personality, freeing myself in a creative and healthy way... Realizing something for myself, that can't be described by words, - only can be *lived* and so expressed through my *energy*! Then, when expressed in this writing, can easily be misunderstood, as it depends totally on the interpretation from the readers mindset.
Thanks for the article!
Love this! Thank you.
So true, we see what we focus upon! thank you for the reminder.
The following sentence really made me think. "Just imagine the disasters if you replaced your good intentions with bad ones!" Thank you!