Saat terburu-buru melewati bandara, saya berhenti untuk membeli air. Di kulkas toko, seorang pria membungkuk, memasukkan botol-botol ke dalamnya. Saya mengulurkan tangan melewatinya dan mengambil satu botol yang telah ia masukkan. Ia mendongak, berhenti bekerja, mengambil sebotol dari rak lain, dan mengulurkannya kepada saya, sambil berkata, "Yang ini dingin." Saya mengucapkan terima kasih dan mengambil botol yang ia tawarkan.
Dia tidak mengenal saya dan tidak akan pernah bertemu saya lagi. Pekerjaannya adalah bagian stok, bukan layanan pelanggan. Dia sibuk dan tampak lelah. Tapi dia meluangkan waktu untuk menyadari bahwa saya mendapat sebotol minuman hangat, dan dia cukup peduli untuk mengganti topik dan membelikan saya minuman dingin. Dia mendoakan saya agar cepat sembuh.
Saya bisa melihat tatapan ramahnya saat menulis ini, seminggu kemudian. Itu hanya sebotol air. Tapi saya merasa hangat oleh kebaikannya dan terhibur oleh niat baiknya.
Dengan mengenali niat positif orang lain, kita merasa lebih aman, lebih didukung, dan lebih bahagia. Dan ketika orang lain merasa bahwa kita memahami niat baik mereka, mereka merasa diperhatikan, dihargai, dan lebih cenderung memperlakukan kita dengan baik.
Namun, mengenali niat baik orang lain bisa jadi sulit. Kita sibuk, teralihkan, dan stres. Tujuan positif seringkali terkubur di balik perilaku negatif. Bias negatif bawaan otak terus-menerus memindai kabar buruk dan niat buruk. Otak juga bereaksi terhadap hal-hal baru, sehingga cenderung mengabaikan banyak niat positif yang merasuki sebagian besar kehidupan sehari-hari, sambil sesekali menyoroti niat negatif.
Jadi, Anda harus aktif mencari niat baik. Maka Anda akan menemukannya di sekitar Anda—sebuah jendela menuju kebaikan sejati dalam setiap makhluk, betapa pun tersembunyinya.
Bagaimana?
Luangkan waktu sejenak untuk mengenali banyak niat baik—tujuan, maksud, keinginan—yang Anda miliki dalam hari biasa.
Niat baik tak perlu suci. Ingin menikmati secangkir kopi, sarapan yang layak, mengunci pintu, tiba di tempat kerja tepat waktu, berdisiplin, merasa aman, mengurus keluarga, menjadi orang yang baik, menghindari masalah, mengurangi rasa sakit, menikmati sesuatu yang manis, tidak bertengkar, hidup hingga matahari terbit—semua ini adalah niat baik.
Kebanyakan niat baik memang kecil. Tapi tetap berarti. Bayangkan bencana yang akan terjadi jika Anda mengganti niat baik dengan niat buruk! Tentu, beberapa niat memang tidak begitu baik, seperti keinginan untuk mendominasi, melampiaskan hasrat yang adiktif, atau melampiaskan perasaan negatif kepada orang lain. Namun, bagi hampir semua orang, sebagian besar niat adalah baik. Biarkan itu menjadi sebuah perasaan, sebuah rasa yang kuat dalam diri Anda, bahwa Anda adalah seseorang yang berniat baik.
Saat berbicara dengan seorang teman, perhatikan niat positifnya. Bagaimana rasanya melihat mereka? Cobalah ini secara rutin dengan orang-orang yang Anda sayangi. Saya merasa melakukan ini membantu saya memahami orang lain dengan lebih baik dan membuka hati saya. Jika perlu, beri tahu orang lain apa yang telah Anda pelajari; mendengar pengakuan atas niat baik seseorang bisa menjadi pengalaman yang luar biasa.
Cobalah melihat niat baik pada orang asing yang berjalan di jalan—atau di bandara. Anda akan melihat banyak kesopanan, upaya untuk melakukan pekerjaan dengan baik, keinginan untuk memahami atau dipahami, kesetiaan kepada teman dan tujuan, keadilan, dan kebaikan. Praktik ini membuat saya bahagia, dan memberi saya rasa kemanusiaan kita yang lebih kuat.
Coba juga hal ini dengan orang-orang yang sulit bagi Anda. Ini bukan untuk membenarkan mereka. Namun, melihat niat baik di tengah perilaku buruk justru dapat, ironisnya, membantu Anda merasa tidak terlalu terpengaruh—tidak terlalu stres, jengkel, atau khawatir—oleh orang lain. Anda juga bisa meminta orang lain untuk menyadari niat baik Anda.
Ada bara kesucian dalam diri kita masing-masing, termasuk kita yang bercermin. Menyadari niat baik akan membakar bara itu, menambahkan bahan bakar, dan membantunya tumbuh menjadi api yang hangat dan indah.
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This is a great article and it is true that so many things we do in a day, or automatically are just to look after ourselves/others and we are all filled with good intentions/
Rabbi Moses Cordovero: "Remember all human beings always in the innocence of their infancy."
nice
article (technically)..but I surely see also the danger as pointed out by the
reply of Bei Yin. To ad also a critical but appreciating comment. It's not
entirely about the article but about it's base/ foundation. actually the first
sentence,, .'let our intentions be good.' What is good? what is intention? what
is the action (of letting be)? We write about it if intention and good are two
separate things. If there is a commonsense or common-consensus of 'good' and
the values that this contains and that intention is a thing we let
happen. Maybe it’s just me, and that is certainly the case, but I see things
this way; If one doesn’t dissociate oneself
from his or her intention and trains oneself to walk in line with this
intention we won’t have to spend energy in forging ourselves on terms like good
or intention. We wouldn’t have to spend any energy in creating world images of
good behavior and their fruits. Instead we would just create, we do every
moment. And the fact that there are billions of people around just means you
are not alone, make use of that instead of convicting it.
Thank you, Rick
Hanson for the article, Grenville Kleisser for the quote, Bei Yin for drawing
my attention to it, ‘dailygood’ for placing and distributing it on internet,
internet for the world wide context, and the world for creating this medium….special
thanks to creation (the action and the result….)
Just one
[Hide Full Comment]thing: If my intention is commonsense than what is it that makes it ‘my’
intention? If my intention is not commonsense than what is it that makes it ‘my’
intention?
Napoleon Hill wrote about how the tipping point of economic failure to economic recovery post great depression was based on the shift from a sense of service. Much like the man who handed you the cold bottle of water. It's that subtle a difference in giving consciousness that can change the world. Great post!
--- "It can be hard to recognize the goodwill in others. We’re busy and distracted and stressed. Positive aims are often buried beneath negative behaviors. The brain’s innate negativity bias is continually scanning for bad news, bad intentions. The brain also reacts to novelty, so it tends to ignore the many positive intentions that pervade most daily life while spotlighting the occasional negative ones."
[Hide Full Comment](Quote from Rick Hanson's article)
--- My comment: The obvious fact is, that we are all manipulated and programmed from a society that has its base on a materialistic world view. This was upgraded during centuries with religious and spiritual beliefs and confirmed in our times by intellectual scientific views and concepts. Lifestyle or behavior of people hardly have changed to a better one, in contrary: the ways and tricks to survive with ones established personality are developing with the same speed as the level of stress is rising up, with the result of disease and destruction on all levels of existence. It's easy to understand, that out of our misery and suffering, we are looking for a new way to survive...
--- Now you have the 'good intention' to manipulate the brain by 'seeing the good intention in others!' Do you really think that you can cover up the daily reality every body is facing, by using a 'positive scam' on oneself? Do you think this will change anything about the *cause*?
Wouldn't it be a better intention to find out about the real reason why we are not finding real satisfaction in our existence? Using another trick can't be a creative way to help in our growing process!
--- Since nearly forty years my (good) intention is to point to a way to go beyond ones limited view, but part of the condition of people is, that they cling on their state of being and only want to be confirmed in it, so not being open for any thing else. It seems that people must suffer much more, before they ask some critical questions about not only their surrounding, but also about themselves. At the moment all questions are answered by the established mindset from society, anything else is ignored and rejected. As long this behavior is not questioned, there is no way out. So what might be your *question*? That for sure I will answer, with the 'good intention' to have an exchange from that every body around can benefit...
--- What I have written here comes out of my 'best intention' to share what is the result from my life long experience and has helped me to grow beyond my limited personality, freeing myself in a creative and healthy way... Realizing something for myself, that can't be described by words, - only can be *lived* and so expressed through my *energy*! Then, when expressed in this writing, can easily be misunderstood, as it depends totally on the interpretation from the readers mindset. - But at least it might trigger some thoughts that are not just influenced by ones need for confirmation...
--- Or is this too much and so unwanted by the moderator?
--- "It can be hard to recognize the goodwill in others. We’re busy and distracted and stressed. Positive aims are often buried beneath negative behaviors. The brain’s innate negativity bias is
[Hide Full Comment]continually scanning for bad news, bad intentions. The brain also reacts to novelty, so it tends to ignore the many positive intentions that pervade most daily life while spotlighting the occasional negative ones." (Quote from Rick Hanson's article)
--- My comment: The obvious fact is, that we are all manipulated and programmed from a
society that has its base on a materialistic world view. This was upgraded during centuries with religious and spiritual beliefs and confirmed in our times by intellectual scientific views and concepts. Lifestyle or behavior of people hardly have changed to a better one, in contrary: the ways and tricks to survive with ones established personality are developing with the same speed as the level of stress is rising up, with the result of disease and destruction on all levels of existence. It's easy to understand, that out of our misery and suffering, we are looking for a new way to survive...
--- Now you have the 'good intention' to manipulate the brain by 'seeing the good intention in others!' Do you really think that you can cover up the daily reality every body is facing, by using a 'positive scam' on oneself? Do you think this will change anything about the *cause*?
Wouldn't it be a better intention to find out about the real reason why we are not finding real satisfaction in our existence? Using another trick can't be a creative way to help in our growing process!
--- Since nearly forty years my (good) intention is to point to a way to go beyond ones limited view, but part of the condition of people is, that they cling on their state of being and only want to be confirmed in it, so not being open for any thing else. It seems that people must suffer much more, before they ask some critical questions about not only their surrounding, but also about themselves. At the moment all questions are answered by the established mindset from society, anything else is ignored and rejected. As long this behavior is not questioned, there is no way out. So what might be your *question*? That for sure I will answer, with the 'good intention' to have an exchange from that every body around can benefit...
--- What I have written here comes out of my 'best intention' to share what is the result from my life long experience and has helped me to grow beyond my limited personality, freeing myself in a creative and healthy way... Realizing something for myself, that can't be described by words, - only can be *lived* and so expressed through my *energy*! Then, when expressed in this writing, can easily be misunderstood, as it depends totally on the interpretation from the readers mindset.
Thanks for the article!
Love this! Thank you.
So true, we see what we focus upon! thank you for the reminder.
The following sentence really made me think. "Just imagine the disasters if you replaced your good intentions with bad ones!" Thank you!