Mens jeg hastet gjennom en flyplass, stoppet jeg for å kjøpe litt vann. Ved kjøleskapet i butikken sto en mann bøyd over og fylte flasker i det. Jeg rakte hånden forbi ham og dro ut en han hadde satt i. Han så opp, stoppet opp, tok en flaske fra en annen hylle og rakte den til meg og sa: «Denne er kald.» Jeg takket og tok den han tilbød meg.
Han kjente meg ikke og ville aldri se meg igjen. Jobben hans var lagerføring, ikke kundeservice. Han var opptatt og så sliten ut. Men han tok seg tid til å registrere at jeg hadde fått en varm flaske, og han brydde seg nok til å gi meg en kald en. Han ønsket meg alt godt.
Jeg kan se hans vennlige øyne for meg mens jeg skriver nå, en uke senere. Det var bare en flaske vann. Men jeg føler meg varmet av hans vennlighet og oppmuntret av hans gode intensjoner.
Når vi anerkjenner de positive intensjonene hos andre, føler vi oss tryggere, mer støttet og lykkeligere. Og når andre føler at du forstår deres gode intensjoner, føler de seg sett, verdsatt og mer tilbøyelige til å behandle deg bra.
Men det kan være vanskelig å gjenkjenne velviljen i andre. Vi er travle, distraherte og stressede. Positive mål ligger ofte begravd under negativ atferd. Hjernens medfødte negativitetsbias skanner kontinuerlig etter dårlige nyheter og dårlige intensjoner. Hjernen reagerer også på nyheter, så den har en tendens til å ignorere de mange positive intensjonene som gjennomsyrer mesteparten av dagliglivet, samtidig som den setter søkelyset på de sporadiske negative.
Så du må aktivt lete etter gode intensjoner. Da vil du finne dem rundt deg – et vindu inn til den dype godheten i ethvert vesen, uansett hvor skjult den er.
Hvordan?
Ta et øyeblikk til å gjenkjenne de mange gode intensjonene – mål, hensikter, ønsker – som du har i løpet av en typisk dag.
Gode intensjoner trenger ikke å være hellige. Å ville nyte en kopp kaffe, spise en skikkelig frokost, låse døren bak seg, komme seg på jobb i tide, være samvittighetsfull, føle seg trygg, ta vare på en familie, være et anstendig menneske, unngå trøbbel, lide mindre, nyte noe søtt, ikke krangle, leve for å se soloppgangen – alt dette er gode intensjoner.
De fleste gode intensjoner vil være små. Men de betyr fortsatt noe. Tenk deg katastrofene hvis du erstattet dine gode intensjoner med dårlige! Jada, noen intensjoner er ikke så gode, for eksempel ønsker om å dominere, utleve avhengighetsskapende lyster eller dumpe negative følelser over på andre. Men for nesten alle er de aller fleste intensjoner gode. La det bli en følelse, en sterk følelse i kroppen din, at du er noen med gode intensjoner.
Når du snakker med en venn, vær oppmerksom på hans eller hennes positive intensjoner. Hvordan føles det å se dem? Prøv dette rutinemessig med folk du bryr deg om. Jeg synes at dette hjelper meg å forstå andre bedre, og det åpner hjertet mitt. Fortell den andre personen hva du har lært når det er passende; å høre en anerkjennelse av ens gode intensjoner kan være en sterk opplevelse.
Prøv å se gode intensjoner hos fremmede som går nedover gaten – eller på en flyplass. Du vil se mye høflighet, innsats for å gjøre en god jobb, ønske om å forstå eller bli forstått, lojalitet til venner og saker, fair play og vennlighet. Denne praksisen gjør meg glad og gir meg en sterkere følelse av vår felles menneskelighet.
Prøv også dette med folk som er vanskelige for deg. Dette er ikke for å unnskylde dem. Men å se gode intensjoner midt i dårlig oppførsel kan ironisk nok hjelpe deg å føle deg mindre påvirket – mindre stresset, irritert eller bekymret – av andre mennesker. Du kan også be andre om å gjenkjenne de gode intensjonene i deg.
Det finnes en glør av hellighet i hver og en av oss, inkludert den som ser tilbake i speilet. Å gjenkjenne gode intensjoner blåser på den gløren, gir den drivstoff og hjelper den å vokse til en varm og vakker flamme.
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This is a great article and it is true that so many things we do in a day, or automatically are just to look after ourselves/others and we are all filled with good intentions/
Rabbi Moses Cordovero: "Remember all human beings always in the innocence of their infancy."
nice
article (technically)..but I surely see also the danger as pointed out by the
reply of Bei Yin. To ad also a critical but appreciating comment. It's not
entirely about the article but about it's base/ foundation. actually the first
sentence,, .'let our intentions be good.' What is good? what is intention? what
is the action (of letting be)? We write about it if intention and good are two
separate things. If there is a commonsense or common-consensus of 'good' and
the values that this contains and that intention is a thing we let
happen. Maybe it’s just me, and that is certainly the case, but I see things
this way; If one doesn’t dissociate oneself
from his or her intention and trains oneself to walk in line with this
intention we won’t have to spend energy in forging ourselves on terms like good
or intention. We wouldn’t have to spend any energy in creating world images of
good behavior and their fruits. Instead we would just create, we do every
moment. And the fact that there are billions of people around just means you
are not alone, make use of that instead of convicting it.
Thank you, Rick
Hanson for the article, Grenville Kleisser for the quote, Bei Yin for drawing
my attention to it, ‘dailygood’ for placing and distributing it on internet,
internet for the world wide context, and the world for creating this medium….special
thanks to creation (the action and the result….)
Just one
[Hide Full Comment]thing: If my intention is commonsense than what is it that makes it ‘my’
intention? If my intention is not commonsense than what is it that makes it ‘my’
intention?
Napoleon Hill wrote about how the tipping point of economic failure to economic recovery post great depression was based on the shift from a sense of service. Much like the man who handed you the cold bottle of water. It's that subtle a difference in giving consciousness that can change the world. Great post!
--- "It can be hard to recognize the goodwill in others. We’re busy and distracted and stressed. Positive aims are often buried beneath negative behaviors. The brain’s innate negativity bias is continually scanning for bad news, bad intentions. The brain also reacts to novelty, so it tends to ignore the many positive intentions that pervade most daily life while spotlighting the occasional negative ones."
[Hide Full Comment](Quote from Rick Hanson's article)
--- My comment: The obvious fact is, that we are all manipulated and programmed from a society that has its base on a materialistic world view. This was upgraded during centuries with religious and spiritual beliefs and confirmed in our times by intellectual scientific views and concepts. Lifestyle or behavior of people hardly have changed to a better one, in contrary: the ways and tricks to survive with ones established personality are developing with the same speed as the level of stress is rising up, with the result of disease and destruction on all levels of existence. It's easy to understand, that out of our misery and suffering, we are looking for a new way to survive...
--- Now you have the 'good intention' to manipulate the brain by 'seeing the good intention in others!' Do you really think that you can cover up the daily reality every body is facing, by using a 'positive scam' on oneself? Do you think this will change anything about the *cause*?
Wouldn't it be a better intention to find out about the real reason why we are not finding real satisfaction in our existence? Using another trick can't be a creative way to help in our growing process!
--- Since nearly forty years my (good) intention is to point to a way to go beyond ones limited view, but part of the condition of people is, that they cling on their state of being and only want to be confirmed in it, so not being open for any thing else. It seems that people must suffer much more, before they ask some critical questions about not only their surrounding, but also about themselves. At the moment all questions are answered by the established mindset from society, anything else is ignored and rejected. As long this behavior is not questioned, there is no way out. So what might be your *question*? That for sure I will answer, with the 'good intention' to have an exchange from that every body around can benefit...
--- What I have written here comes out of my 'best intention' to share what is the result from my life long experience and has helped me to grow beyond my limited personality, freeing myself in a creative and healthy way... Realizing something for myself, that can't be described by words, - only can be *lived* and so expressed through my *energy*! Then, when expressed in this writing, can easily be misunderstood, as it depends totally on the interpretation from the readers mindset. - But at least it might trigger some thoughts that are not just influenced by ones need for confirmation...
--- Or is this too much and so unwanted by the moderator?
--- "It can be hard to recognize the goodwill in others. We’re busy and distracted and stressed. Positive aims are often buried beneath negative behaviors. The brain’s innate negativity bias is
[Hide Full Comment]continually scanning for bad news, bad intentions. The brain also reacts to novelty, so it tends to ignore the many positive intentions that pervade most daily life while spotlighting the occasional negative ones." (Quote from Rick Hanson's article)
--- My comment: The obvious fact is, that we are all manipulated and programmed from a
society that has its base on a materialistic world view. This was upgraded during centuries with religious and spiritual beliefs and confirmed in our times by intellectual scientific views and concepts. Lifestyle or behavior of people hardly have changed to a better one, in contrary: the ways and tricks to survive with ones established personality are developing with the same speed as the level of stress is rising up, with the result of disease and destruction on all levels of existence. It's easy to understand, that out of our misery and suffering, we are looking for a new way to survive...
--- Now you have the 'good intention' to manipulate the brain by 'seeing the good intention in others!' Do you really think that you can cover up the daily reality every body is facing, by using a 'positive scam' on oneself? Do you think this will change anything about the *cause*?
Wouldn't it be a better intention to find out about the real reason why we are not finding real satisfaction in our existence? Using another trick can't be a creative way to help in our growing process!
--- Since nearly forty years my (good) intention is to point to a way to go beyond ones limited view, but part of the condition of people is, that they cling on their state of being and only want to be confirmed in it, so not being open for any thing else. It seems that people must suffer much more, before they ask some critical questions about not only their surrounding, but also about themselves. At the moment all questions are answered by the established mindset from society, anything else is ignored and rejected. As long this behavior is not questioned, there is no way out. So what might be your *question*? That for sure I will answer, with the 'good intention' to have an exchange from that every body around can benefit...
--- What I have written here comes out of my 'best intention' to share what is the result from my life long experience and has helped me to grow beyond my limited personality, freeing myself in a creative and healthy way... Realizing something for myself, that can't be described by words, - only can be *lived* and so expressed through my *energy*! Then, when expressed in this writing, can easily be misunderstood, as it depends totally on the interpretation from the readers mindset.
Thanks for the article!
Love this! Thank you.
So true, we see what we focus upon! thank you for the reminder.
The following sentence really made me think. "Just imagine the disasters if you replaced your good intentions with bad ones!" Thank you!